Just like the title says. I honestly think he's addicted. He's on every day (usually pol, b, or v) for hours and does nothing but this and video games when he has spare time. He keeps ditching any friends and new hobbies he starts to develop in favor of this. He acts like a quote and meme dispenser. I've only recently started lurking, trying to see what's got him so stuck here, so I know I didn't pass this along to him.
He thinks medication, therapists and counselors are scams. I do all the work around the house and do -everything- for him because he will let himself get sick if I don't. It's happened before. At least he's got a job, but it's the only productive thing he does.
I've got nowhere to go. I pay my part of the bills but unless somebody calls me back, I won't be able to next month. I take every freelance job I can find, but my work PC bricked itself last week, I can't afford to replace it. I'm on borrowed time before something happens. He owns the car. Cops would get involved if I took it and ran, I'm sure.
Can I get this idiot to step back and take care of himself like he used to? How do I run if that's my only option left?
Sounds shitty but he used to be really, really great. I was going through a really bad patch when we first got together, so I often end up trying to help him with what seems to be his own.
(inb4 "why are you asking people on Jow Forums how to leave it?" I'm assuming it's more common that someone's going to know at least how to use it in moderation. Maybe people with addiction experience here?)
He's a manchild who doesn't want your help, break up with him and find someone who's not the mental age of 12.
Have you tried going into the boards he browses the most and make a thread named ''user GET A LIFE MORON'', ''user I TOO NEED ATTENTION''? As long as you don't spam it (and he doesn't report it), you should do just right. Alternatively, you could do the easier and most logical solution, which is to speak directly to him.
As for leaving Jow Forums, pic related. I find it perfectly normal to use this site, argue, and even shitpost, but even then I know there's a limit to myself as the time I'm allowed to spend in this website. I used to meme hard on this website about 6 hours a day, now my current obligations keep it down to maybe 3 hours a day. Most of the time I find ways to keep myself bussy, drawing, going out with my girl, working, those are excellent ways of being productive. And if I have a bad day outside, atleast I know someone else did too on this site, I can relate to that, and maybe me and user can talk about our problems. However, this is were one begins to like this ''I know that feel bro'' sensation a little too much, which may have happened to your soon-to-be lucky man. What I'd do here is to motivate him to get a better working time period, and to be responsible about it. There are hobbies, but there is always a limit to how much time you must spend into them
Now, it seems you're very angry, but why did you choose to marry this guy? Surely there must be a good reason that had you say yes
Do you know how he got so addicted in the first place? Maybe there are some things in his life that's pushing him to confide in this site.
It sounds like Jow Forums is not the problem and he has underlying issues. Not saying depression since everyone wants to be depressed lately. Maybe talk to him and see if he's under a lot of stress or something is really bothering him in his life. You're married to the guy, instead of being angry at a website..find out what's going on
Not mad at the website, just the allocation of time to letting it devour his life. Anything that would eat up that much of it is a concern. We've been engaged for a few years - Rocky relationships and quick marriages on both our parents' ends left us wanting to make sure it was a good decision. (Seems to have been a good idea to wait, in retrospect)
If he's got underlying issues, he won't talk about them. When it comes to anxiety or sadness, he's convinced he can just "turn it off" and often tells me to do the same if I'm having a bad day. He likes his job. He likes his routine of games and internet. If he ever has a gripe about them, he seems to contradict it by insisting he doesn't want anything else later. He was never great at discussing his feelings but to this extent is... A few years of unusual for what he was like before.
He used to be amazing. Romantic, very hardworking, inspiring me to work hard on my own life. Funny, cute, creative and talented. He got really into pol around 2016's election and got really into conspiracy theories.
Not sure if it stems from wanting control of his life - he's got plenty of that. That's usually what I see from conspiracy crackheads.
He's depressed and using Jow Forums as escapism, because it's the only place he can be himself. Maybe instead of being a cunt and pointing out that his whole life is a shambles and you want to leave him, you should act like women pretend they act and be an empathetic human being for once. Or just goad him into killing himself and take all his stuff.
Obviously your fiancé has problems that he tries to swallow. Get him to do therapy even if he thinks it's a scam, if he refuses and continues to stay a lazy depressed piece of shit, there's nothing forcing you to stay. You're not his parent and have no obligation to baby sit someone who doesn't even want help or to better himself.
Your first point has quite a bit of merit. I've been trying to get his insight on what's bothering him, but it tends to go nowhere. He insists things are alright and he's got a good history of honesty with me. I'll ask about that specifically next chance I get. He had a group of friends he met a few months ago but seemed bored of them when I asked why they stopped hanging out.
I don't know that he's depressed, but I am concerned that he's not dealing with his own emotions properly if he's only ever trying to turn them off, as he says.
Again, I've been supporting him - everything he can't or won't do for himself right now, I supply. You don't have to believe that.
Forcing him to go to therapy might not end well. I wonder if I could get he and I on the phone with one for a little while though..? Maybe the lack of a confined environment would help him be comfortable with it. It'd have to wait until I get a job secured, but I'll look into it in the meantime.
Worst case scenario I worry what would happen if I left him to his own devices.
If he believes that therapists and psychologists are a scam, then he probably believes that depression isn't real either. You can blame the Jow Forums anti-vaxxer brain trust for propagating genius opinions like that. Denial also plays a large part into it, he believes nothing wrong because he spends most of his time pretending that there isn't anything wrong on Jow Forums. It's a vicious cycle, really, but he'll never break out of the loop if you don't force him to.
Does he have a job?
Dump him /thread/
Can you read, retard?
He absolutely believes most mental illnesses and disorders are fake. Weird, since he didn't believe that a few years ago when he met me and knew that I was doing counseling for depression myself. He's not anti-vaxx though. Thank goodness for that.
I will consider something forceful... I really, really hope it helps. I kind of wonder what would happen if we took a few days off somewhere with no internet..? He doesn't like vacations but as far as seeing what happens when he gets away from his vices (especially not by a person but by circumstance?) would be extremely telling. Haven't had a chance to head far out like that since before all this started. Weird to think about, actually.
If you can convince him to get away somewhere without the internet for a few days just be aware that he'll be grouchy as he's essentially going through withdrawals. Don't make judgements about him until he's been out long enough to calm down.
I think a vacation is a good idea, it will give you some good opportunities to get him to open up without him defaulting to Jow Forums hermit mode. Just make sure you guilt him into it. Pull all those cards only a fiance can.
Good advice, thank you both. I'll try to get with his family and plan out something that would keep him occupied, from the stories I hear they used to go to some places he loved as a kid. Don't know why he started to hate vacations? At least enough to help level out the withdrawal... I'll prepare for the grumpiest of fiances, haha
Jow Forums is a really hard place to leave honestly. I go camping sometimes and it feels great to finally loosen up and let this place go but within a few days of getting home I'm back to the same old shit. Try something like coldturkey blocker if you can get him to agree to it while you're away, or at the very least don't be surprised if he quickly reverts once back home, you can't take a crack addict, put a bunch of crack in front of him and then expect him not to smoke it. Although to be honest I think the most important thing is finding out the underlying issues, rather than actually expecting one outing to fix them.
Sounds like some kind of depression, but if he refuses help he cant be fixed. Your only options are to bail or be dragged down with him unfortunately...
I'm not sure how to reach him. I don't think he knows what his own thoughts are most of the time. Not in a panicky, suppression kind of way though - I don't know if he's alone with his thoughts often enough for him to try and untangle them. I suspect his keeping himself busy with games and forumlurking fills that gap. I wonder if he's consciously doing it?
I'll look into coldturkey blocker - thank you. The reason for all of this could be super simple, who knows? Until he's willing to tell someone what it is, or until he figures out what it is even for himself, there's no fixing it, certainly. Either way, I wouldn't be surprised if the road to recovery is long and rocky. So long as there's a chance of it though, I'll be here to help him.
I'm out for the night, I'm afraid. I'll check back in the morning to see if anything else popped up. Thank you all for your time, hope your night is kind to you.
Good luck OP, you do seem much better than the typical woman asking for similar advice here.
no problem and good luck. I hate this site and sympathise deeply with anyone who wants to leave it so I hope you can help him.
looks like someone forgot to take her fiance's Varginity