I think I might have fucked up Jow Forums

I think I might have fucked up Jow Forums.
My plan to to make a roastie's plot to prank me backfire, ended up...back-backfiring?
I'm basically a pariah at uni now.
Should I just drop out?

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>anime shit
You were a pariah before you even knew it

I was doing a semi-decent job of hiding my powerlevel though.
Now it doesn't matter anymore.

give details or fuck off

A roastie in uni started talking to me. Eventually she hinted she wanted me to ask her out.
I was convinced she was doing this so she and her friends can have a laugh on the expense of the fat loner.
So I tried to make her spill the beans but I got really mad when she wouldn't come clean and overdid it.
People started calling me crazy, a creep and saying she guinely liked me (unlikely).

nice bait bro try harder next time

This is exactly why I didn't want to give details though.
Anyway, I still can't figure out if she actually liked me or was doing it for laughs. One part of me wishes the former, but all logic points to the latter.

You ruined your chance by assuming her vaginal usage.
Make plans to do the rope-around-neck flying trick.

>girl is nice to you
>automatically assume she’s trying to prank you like out of a movie
you are dangerously stupid

I'm a fucking retard, but I'm still not sure if she was pranking me or not.
Call me an Jow Forums incel all you want, I can't see how a girl would be interested in some fat loser like me.

No, you're too crazy into degrading yourself based on how fat you are and that you've never been sexed to notice when a girl actually likes you and shows genuine intrest.
Therapy time now.

They win either way. The end goal was to make you feel like shit and whether you say yes, turn the girl down or even call her out on it, they get to bully you guilt free.
Guys like us are punching bags, nothing more. The best thing to do is just ignore them.

I've been seeing a therapist for years for depression and low self-esteem.

Either you were defiant little shit for years or he did a shit job, in which case charge back and find another.

Yeah, if you're not getting better after years, and there's no reccomendation to a psych or been any progress out of you..
Are you the shit or are they?


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Weren’t you that same user who posted a thread like a week ago about how his brother’s female friend was only pretending to be nice to you because “logically” all she cares about was your supposed riches?

Probably me, I've gone through 2 therapists so far.
I don't have any siblings and I'm not rich.

>One part of me wishes the former, but all logic points to the latter.

Uhhh... I don’t think “logic” had anything to do with this.

“Illogic” is much more accurately a descriptor, and the proof of this is that, by everyone else’s logic, your behavior was irrational and out of line.

Even reading this thread, your own description of the events and you’re own response to them does not sound entirely rational.

Look man... You don’t need to drop out or anything...

First of all, an apology to her for acting like an asshole would probably be nice.

Second, you need to reassess.

Having struggled with pretty severe depression when I was younger, and also coming from a background of similar low-self esteem and self-delusion I know fucking hard it can be to be objective about this all. I mean never reacted as hostile as you did here, but I definitely went out of my way to doubt that anyone could be interested in me, and preformed some pretty incredible mental gymnastics to hold that world view.

At some point however, during one of my worst depressive bouts I had a moment of clarity where I realized: You know what, My thinking is not normal. I am currently operating under an altered mindset, that is not indicative of what reality actually is. Everything im doing is under a dark haze or fog of negativity. As such my decisions and thinking are not rational and I should always keep that in mind before acting or making judgements.

And that somehow gave me a shitton of confidence or at least comfort within the moment , because I realized that, this shit is not normal. My life can potential operate outside of this state.

And from then on I used that to drive myself to actively try to fix it and improve little parts of myself, or at least hold on until things changed and I could be normal.

And you know what. Things got better. I’ve become better. I got lucky in some parts, and forced myself to do it in others.

You can too.

Yeah, it's probably time for a psych then.

Logic has alot to do with it.
Why would a nice looking girl approach an overweight dude who doesn't really talk with that many people out of the blue?
And then ask his contat info, message him every other day and hint she wants to be asked out by this dude?
I know I'm semi-paranoid and brainwashed by the internet and Jow Forums, but this was fucking suspicious.
No time for a psych ward, I'm already 25, if I lose more time from uni I'm gonna end up getting my first job at 30.

Not a ward, dummy. A Psychiatrist, so you can get drugged on your own, as long as you're responsible. If you're not responsible enough, then it's ward time.

I tried meds before, I didn't like them and they didn't fix me.

My main issue is what to do with uni in general.
I don't know if I can show my face there anymore.

How many different ones?

One of them literally made me sleepy all day and I couldn't do anything.

And you let them run the course for months so you get the full effect, right? They don't just get right to work, you have to take notice of the difference.

Even at half dosage? You talked about your symptoms right?
There's not a one pill fits all, doseages can be adjusted.

I would say to the girl “look, I’m really sorry for the way that I’ve acted. I really didn’t know what to make of what you were saying, and I’ve gone through a lot — I misinterpreted things and thought you had bad intentions. That’s no excuse for the way I acted, so again, my apologies.”

Was your freak out in person? Were you two alone? Were there other people around?

We were alone. I 'asked her out' once she freaked.
I lied about going to eat out of town, drove like a maniac to scare her while pressuring her to tell me the truth, with my phone recording. I was planning to 'turn the parnk around' by postng the recording on her social media.
She was screaming and was swearing she didn't know anything about any prank.
So I got really frustrated and just told her to get out in the middle of nowhere.
That was on Saturday. People have been messaging me some pretty nasty things since.
I didn't go to uni today and won't go tomorrow.

jfc, you need drugs man. You nearly kidnapped a girl that liked you. How has the severity of your mental disability not hit you yet?

... Yeah, just drop out and find a new uni.

I didn't kidnap her. I was just really frustrated so I stopped the car and screamed at her to get out.
And we don't know if she actually liked me.
That can't happen atm. I was a loner shut-in for years and I finally got the courage to go to this uni.

I think I'll just just play the mental disability card and accept that I'm not going to have a social life before 30.

Love came knocking at your door and walked inside, and all you could do was scream at it and tell it to get out?

You need a better psychologist.

This is some fucked up shit. Obviously she trusted you enough to be alone with you in a car. Idk man, you should think about taking a few semesters off to really work on yourself.

Sorry man but that sounds really psycho, you should get off Jow Forums, it messed with your perception of reality

>drove like a maniac to scare her while pressuring her to tell me the truth, with my phone recording.
No, normal people don't do this. This was nearly a kidnapping, and that's why everyone at uni will shun you till you drug yourself, find jesus, or leave.

Again, there's no indication she was actually into me.
Anyway, I understand I'm a delusional incel piece of shit and any chances of social life, slight as they may have been, are now gone.
Should I message her an apology telling her I'm mentally ill?
I really can't afford to give up on uni rn. I don't care what people will say about me, I plan to continue attending.

Post the recording

Yes, because even probably she will offer you some weed, but that may make your paranoia only worse. You need to genuinely find something that works and quicker.

Ffs no, don't ever contact her again. Go to your uni and keep your head low.

And since it doesn't seem to click in your head - it doesn't matter how sincere she was, your reaction was unwarranted. You're lucky you aren't in jail.

So I shouldn't at least explain myself? That I'm batshit insane?
Thankfully, the cops haven't been involved yet as far as I know, although there've been some threats.

Why did the thread die?

I still don't know what to do, should I send a message that I'm crazy or not?
Should I go to uni tomorrow or not?

Go. If you see her, tell her that you know that you fucked up and can't expect forgiveness, but you're sorry. She probably won't talk to you alone, so you'll need to do it where other people can see you too.