Why aren't girls asking boys out? What was all this sex revolution, liberalization and secularization for?

Why aren't girls asking boys out? What was all this sex revolution, liberalization and secularization for?

Wasn't it aimed towards freeing woman from role of male-orbiter? To break status quo of world, where males were taking all decisions and all action?

It strikes me everytime when I see guy complaining about loneliness and getting tips like: "Dude just ask them out" or "you have to work for good things to happen". I get it, but this is social case, not some physics where Newton's 3th law is existing.
What I mean; if this is suposed to be relationship, then I think it's creation should recieve same amount of 'work towards it' from both sides. But what I see instead is girls just waiting for boys to come, and letting them, or not, push their realtionship further.
Again, I understand this God damn mechanism where woman were afraid of showing affection because, long story short, this would portrait them as easy, sluts etc.
But like I said at beginning, wasn't all that changes our society went through, suposed to get rid of such mindset?

I fully understand that I need to work if I want something. I've been raised in that manner.
But in the same time I can't get rid of feeling, that if woman isn't giving as much attention to the creation of realtionship as I, then this is not worth it, like if she do not care now, then why should she care later? I commit, so I want commitment back as well.
Especially in early stages of relation.

And this whole thread would'n exist if only I would meet some women who do not stick to this scheme. But my every attempt to get gf end like this; girl in "entertain me" mode, showing nothing more than regular interest in conversation.

But what is most important in this;
I see happy couples all around so this isn't world/womenhood who is wrong, this is clearly problem within me.
So what is it?

At the end I would say that I'm not that ugly, or poor or anything that would scare women off. So this is not part of the problem.

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Other urls found in this thread:

datacenter.kidscount.org/data/tables/107-children-in-single-parent-families-by-race?loc=1&loct=1#detailed/1/any/false/870,573,869,36,868,867,133,38,35,18/10,11,9,12,1,185,13/432,431

>Wasn't it aimed towards freeing woman from role of male-orbiter?
It was aimed at taking away the cultural stigma against casual sex.

It's really, really simple. Women don't ask men out, because if he won't ask them out, he 'isn't worth the time'.
Women have so many options because of this 'sexual revolution', that they don't have to sit and wait or take the initiative, they can just take the guy that actually asks them out.
This is why mass 'cold calling' works so well for more attractive guys. Women aren't going to turn down a good looking guy willing to put himself out there, if the guy they're currently interested in doesn't seem overtly interested in them.
The advice of 'working on yourself' and 'just putting yourself out there' coming from successful guys isn't a meaningless platitude, it's quite literally their whole game plan. Because it works for them.

>Why aren't girls asking boys out?
Because we don't want to.
>What was all this sex revolution, liberalization and secularization for?
To free them from forced social roles, not to deestablish societal customs.
>Wasn't it aimed towards freeing woman from role of male-orbiter?
No
>To break status quo of world, where males were taking all decisions and all action?
Partially, yes.

>But like I said at beginning, wasn't all that changes our society went through, suposed to get rid of such mindset?
No, that doesn't rid us of customs and traditions.

But they are. Why are you lying?

increasing the workforce to increase profit
enabling women to become purchasers and advertisement targets to increase profit
breaking up the nuclear family
disrupting early childhood development through childcare
turning people away from religion for moral guidance to political stances, social media, and celebrities
weakening and casualizing sexual and romantic intimacy

although girls never asked boys out first anyway, that's not their goal and it's not worth their time to break this particular evolutionary quirk of the species

Women dont ask men on dates because they dont have to.

Men have like 10 times more testosterone. Women can easily go months without sex and nobody will even shame them for being single (at least until they are 30+). On other hand some alpha men cant survive the day without ejaculation. And they are nonstop shamed by society for not having gf
>virgin shaming
>wanker
or even by spending time alone
>wow you didnt go out on weekend? What a loser!
Something about supply and demand.

However once you hit age around 30, the roles kinda reverse. Many many semi obese hopelessly single women are to be seen around workforce and sometimes you even see them attempting to hit on someone. And ofc single mothers are a thing.

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>teenager thinks he knows what life is like in your 30s

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>Because we don't want to.

No shit, you dumb fucking twat. You think guys enjoy wrestling with social anxiety and fear of rejection only to walk into a painful situation and then live the thing they were afraid of? Cunt.

>What was all this sex revolution, liberalization and secularization for?
This seems to keep failing every time we try it. Granted, I think we've only tried it two or three times so far.

Because guys will agree to date any girl that offers especially the more desperate they are. But if they realize they don't like her they'll stick around for the sex, treat her badly until she ends it so they don't have to. In order to avoid that you should wait for a guy is definitely already likes you and you've gotten to know a little bit first.

It's then fine to ask him to date you.
But otherwise girls get played too easily. The only kinds of women who ask first or accept any one are either desperate themselves or not really serious and want to date around.

The sex revolution was about removing the negative connotations around casual sex. It didn't fundamentally change female/human nature. Girls were the same whores they are now before the 60s, only difference is they felt bad when they banged 6 chads before high-school was out.
Now, they still want to fuck chads and the most masculine/attractive guys and they can with no societal pushback

>they don't have to
Imagine actually living like this. Would you never apply for a job in a field you're interested in if you had a steady supply of McJob offers without putting in the effort?
It all boils down to the fact that they're cowardly, passive and need to be shown what they should like. Women who don't show interest are most likely NPCs and not worth it.

>careful. your edginess is showing.

>neckbeards incoming

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Go ahead and contest what I said. Women fuck attractive dudes. There's no point in denying it.

I don't hate women. I'm not "an incel" ideologically. I dont browse Jow Forums.

I have friends, an active social life, hobbies, take care of myself, all the usual things people say you should do in order to meet and attract women.

I'm a kissless dateless virgin at 22, simply because I have a fear of rejection and can't ask girls out due to it.

I understand why this is. It just doesn't seem fair to me...

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As does your stupid because you don't know how to use the meme response you picked instead of discussing our points. What's next, incel or umad?

You have nothing in other words

>ouch. the edge, it's so sharp.
>lol jk

>women don't fuck dudes they find attractive
What world am I living in?

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They do ask men out, just no one asks you sad fucks because you are -- SURPRISE -- boring and less-than-bright.

>slice and a miss

Girls do ask guys out. Girls do get rejected by guys. Just like other guys do.

>It just doesn't seem fair to me...

Two points. One
>Hurr sexual liberalisation
So what you've done is you're no good at getting women, and instead of working on yourself, you found a fringe movement that, honestly dude, isn't followed by the grand majority of women... Most people really couldn't give a fuck about sjwism.. but you found small pockets of women who proclaim some shit and you've cast it over all women so you can blame them for YOUR shortcomings. That's stupid.

>Women should do the work, too.

I'm male before any accusations come flying my way, and, they do user. They do a lot. They bend over backwards trying to text you and get to know you and compliment you and tell you how much they think you're the best and ask what you're doing and tell you they're free....

They do a fuck tonne. When a woman wants you, even if she doesn't make the move, she's extremely obvious. There is almost no way to miss it.

So again, either women have been doing a lot of work towards you and youre missing it, or no one is interested in you. And in both cases, it comes down to: you need to work on yourself.

They've definitely asked me out before

They do ask guys out.

Go and make a tinder profile with pics of a very attractive guy and you'll get asked out or asked to fuck all the time.

In my personal experience, being "asked out" is a mutual thing. The chick makes eye contact and flirts from afar, the guy comes over and asks how she's doing. Or online, both people have accounts, girl messages people first, guy messages people first. Both people swipe to chat.

In other words, it takes work from both sides, you're just lazy.

>It just doesn't seem fair
It's not fair, but look bro. This is the classic man's life we should all embrace and look towards as a challenge. There's always gonna be that unfair shitty thing about life no one else seems to be addressing, that's where the hunter in you should emerge and see pinpoint exactly where the animal needs to be hit with that arrow, and not whining about unfairness but calmly executing with precision to send that arrow right through that fucker. This is what men's genetics are for, hitting targets. But society instead has tried to teach us that whether or not you hold a door open for someone actually says something about your character. Bullshit, see life for what it is, a constantly moving target with a whole bunch of distractions around you that everyone else gets all caught up in but you can filter out.
It seems like no one else has to deal with this crap, but that's your burden to bear because you can handle it, most likely if you took some random thot and put her through your life she would have killed herself by now.

Women ask men out
As I'm a shy guy, I've been asked out a few times, but I've never escalated for I didn't had the guts or was too worried about my future, idk

>isn't followed by the grand majority of women
You're quite dense if you think this isn't the case. Granted, OP is a degenerate in exactly the same way since he accepts and seems to praise the disaster of the 60s, but the fact is that 95% of the population tacitly accepts the current order of things.

> But if they realize they don't like her they'll stick around for the sex
Not if you keep your damn legs shut before marriage

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Spot on.

Congratulations, you just figured out that women are lazy and all this crap they have done in the past 50+ years was to escape responsibility and have the average joe still pay for everything.

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>they have done
The shift was far from a gendered one--it is a means of control and the consolidation thereof by those with power.

The sexual revolution was about liberating women from motherhood and turning them into prostitutes

Well friend I think you and I both know who is behind the weaponizing of women

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>Why aren't girls asking boys out?
They are, they just aren't asking you out.

I follow my friend's private instagram account and she probably forgot that I even do. Anyway she drops all these crazy insights that have me totally skeptical of the modern feminist movement. I shit you not, she has said things like
>white men just arent cute to me anymore
>guys still have to approach you because they arent systematically oppressed as us
>"just remember you CAN take back your word after having sex and dont ever let a fucking man take that power away from you" verbatim, reading her post on it right now
I wish I were kidding but learning about these insights from a feminist friend, who is one of the heads of her ivy league school's femme journo club, was astonishing. It's really hard trying to bring this up because most people will just dismiss it as a conspiracy theory, especially since I'm a white male myself.

You just gotta bite the bullet, OP. Work on becoming your ideal self as close as possible and hope someone finds you attractive enough to date. We're living in weird reactionary times from both the left and the right. Cheers.

if there is anything I am grateful for, is that in 10 years this bitch will be rotten meanwhile I will have already received a small batch of land in a small FL town and at least maybe a house built there

They do though, my girlfriend said she had a crush on me and when she opened up, I couldn’t have been more impressed she would risk rejection and heartache over me. So even though it’s rare, it happens. I would say that most American women aren’t the type to do that, simply because the fucking Disney tropes they grew up with. They think it’s only men who seek out the women.
They act like they just have to jump from dick to dick until they find “mr.Right” who doesn’t exist. So when they finally get passed that stage in their 30’s they realize how many good men they ignored while being approached by guys just looking to dip and split.

Owned

God has blessed you with a wonderful woman, cultivate her, sculpt her into a Jow Forums woman and make her into a mother someday.
Do it for me user, I want you to be happy

We’re actually getting married, I never wanted to do that before because of the horror stories.. but she’s just the same as me, only from a different country. I got over my fear of flying to go see her and it was the best vacation of my life. Cheers bro, the good ones are out there you just got to be a good person with some kind of talent to draw them in.

It's hard being a good person in the west man, everyone thinks that being nice = doormat nowadays

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Right? I can’t count how many times being nice to a female at any age during my life has backfired. So it’s counterintuitive, but you don’t want the regular bitch down the street trying to milk tax dollars by pumping out kids and breaking up with the dads. That’s the majority of “progressive” women in the west. You can be a sarcastic dick, just as long as it’s funny to her there’s no problem showing some venom in your words.

Well thats pretty much how I am nowadays, I will always find a way to mock something or someone for the lols and I have my mean streak

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The problem is, only attractive girls who give me like and even super like, live so far away from me, I do not know why they do this knowing the problem of distance.

>giant wall of text

I've had girls ask me out what are you talking about

>I see happy couples all around so this isn't world/womenhood who is wrong, this is clearly problem within me.
>So what is it?

>At the end I would say that I'm not that ugly, or poor or anything that would scare women off. So this is not part of the problem.

Your personality, obviously.

>They do a lot. They bend over backwards trying to text you and get to know you and compliment you and tell you how much they think you're the best and ask what you're doing and tell you they're free

Sounds like a manipulation. Why is this allowed?

>They act like they just have to jump from dick to dick until they find “mr.Right” who doesn’t exist. So when they finally get passed that stage in their 30’s they realize how many good men they ignored while being approached by guys just looking to dip and split.

The absolute incel fantasy "roasties have sex with badboys but eventually they'll want to settle with me"

>Sounds like a manipulation.
How?

Do you know that there is a single mother epidemic right now?
I have a source btw
datacenter.kidscount.org/data/tables/107-children-in-single-parent-families-by-race?loc=1&loct=1#detailed/1/any/false/870,573,869,36,868,867,133,38,35,18/10,11,9,12,1,185,13/432,431

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If you've never been asked out by a girl you're either very ugly, very boring or surrounded by men.

A girl who even has a boyfriend, took the initiative to talk to me, touch me, even isolating herself and looking at me so I could go to her in an easier way, she kept praising me and telling me about her life, I just did not kissed her and physically climbed because I knew that if I dated her, she would do the same thing with another guy.

It's rare, but it happens.

>tfw I had a girl ask me out and shit and even straight up gave me her number without me asking
>all because I said, "hey nice drawing"
I only ghosted her because she said that she doesn't like it when men call women sluts, which to me was a red flag.
She had a nice ass and pair of tits despite being a 4.7/10 face wise

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I crossed the Atlantic to be with my girl, and she’s coming here this summer. Long distance is a motherfucker I know, it’ll make people crazy. But because of the distance we communicate more than any other girlfriend I’ve ever had, and communication is the bedrock to a relationship of any kind (even busniess partners). I know what you might think,”what if she’s cheating? What if she thinks you’re cheating?” If she’s in her early 20’s most likely she’ll have orbiters, so there’s no telling if she’ll get lonely and call one up. Also being secure about each other isn’t hard if she’s introverted.

Because super insecure guys who believe that betrayal and disaster are lurking around every corner believe that any genuine effort put fourth by a woman to gain their trust or affection must be some kind of trick.

I have never asked a guy out and I never will. Why? Because I'm okay with being alone. I prefer loneliness to a low quality partner. Guys obviously want me way more than I want them, so it would be pretty ridiculous for me to try to woo them when I'm not even interested in the first place.

Implicitly trying to navigate you to act certain way, instead of just asking straightforward? Basically reserving yourself a right to say "That's not what I meant at all" or "Now, I didn't say it" all the way through. How is this not an extremely vile behavior?

they are, half of girls I did stuff with initiated contact and some asked to do things first.

>American

well yeah those kids' fathers are in jail for selling drugs.

Other than that, the whole incel fantasy still makes no logical sense. This is isn't like 1980s China where there's 10 guys for every girl or something. If there are single women, there are single men as well.

Plus at the end of the day why would a woman want to settle with a Jow Forums incel?

That’s a major problem too, I totally agree. Benefit of the doubt is everything in that situation.

Fair enough, everyone has their own way of living.

you're going to die childless and alone with that attitude

Because she realizes that reddit cucks will pay for everything and not even ask for sex like the good cucks they are. Fucking faggot

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Are you a woman or haven't you got friendzoned?

>you're going to die childless and alone with that attitude
I'm engaged. Shockingly enough, the men with value will actually pursue a woman if she's good enough.

You'll be surprised how upbringing and the events in a person's developmental years can seriously affect them for life. I was tricked quite a few times and honestly that shit makes me cautious around any women. As in I seriously don't believe any woman's words unless they are my mother. Thats it, not even my little sister or any aunts, female cousins, etc, are safe

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I think when women do ask men out they have a less direct way of doing it. It's half gender differences, half "muh society."
The last guy I asked out, we were playing some game and I said something along the lines of "hey, wanna take a bet? whoever loses this round has to buy the other person lunch."
That said, I dislike making obvious moves like that because I feel like perceived aggression instantly devalues me to men. I'm physically plain, so it would read more as desperation than anything else.

This user is mostly right. While there certainly are women who are like "he didn't understand why I looked at him for an extra second, men suck" they're not the rule.

>the men with value will actually pursue a woman if she's good enough.
Thats fan-fucking tastic for you, too bad most women my age are garbage. So I don't really bother with them at all, I got better shit to do than to be lead on by a manipulative whore

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I've been friendzoned before but that only happened because a) I was a teenager and b) I didn't have enough confidence or self-awareness to actually establish boundaries in my relationships. At the end of the day nobody forced me to be friends with a girl who didn't reciprocate my feelings. I did that all on my own because I didn't have the guts to either end things or push them forwards.

>Because she realizes that reddit cucks will pay for everything and not even ask for sex like the good cucks they are. Fucking faggot

Could you build an even bigger strawman jesus christ. This r9k Chad & Stacey vs incel bullshit is so retarded.

>most women my age are garbage
Just like you, given that you're too cowardly to make a move

>You'll be surprised how upbringing and the events in a person's developmental years can seriously affect them for life.
I don't blame anyone for being damaged. Having insecurities is not a personal attack. The truth remains that we can't hold other people responsible for our trauma. Our fears belong to us, not anybody else. I understand being cautious but, ultimately, the responsibility to address those fears and live a purposeful life is on each of us.

>self-awareness to actually establish boundaries in my relationships
Not the guy you replied to but can you elaborate on this?

>it's cowardly to not kill yourself
It's true, it does take a lot of mental strength to pull the trigger, but at least suicide ends problems instead of creating new ones like rolling the dice with a modern whore does. No thanks

Be that as it may, that “Logic” isn’t going to help anyone get anywhere in life
You can be a “blue pilled cuck” or a “black pill waiting to rot and die”. Anyone with experience with women knows that’s horse shit, how many virgin women are out there? Would you even want to be her first if she wants marriage beforehand? You can justify anything self isolating if you simply say “she’s used, there for she’s not good enough for a man like me.” If you enjoy being alone then that’s fine, otherwise it’s just stupid.

No, for me it does not work, interaction personally is much better and reliable in my opinion, even knowing yet that it is already difficult even personally. You put yourself at risk and you were lucky.

Well they are, they are on their phones all the gooddamn time and then they expect a man to put aside everything for her. Also, I hardly try anymore because I just don't see the point of doing all this crap since A: I can accused of harassment and essentially lose everything, or B: I get lead on but it goes nowhere and I have wasted my time. I'm assuming you're a woman so you can't understand how us guys struggle with this shit

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You roll the dice whenever you leave the house and run the risk of dying in a number of horrible ways, why not roll the dice with a woman? Is getting maimed in a car crash preferable to a woman rejecting you? If it is you might be too sensitive or might put too much weight in what other people think of you

Do you have autism? Be honest

No, it's just that there is some reward potential in leaving the house and not with women. I mean, yes, there are risks in every action, but some have less risk, less reward, some have more risk, more reward, and then some have high risk, no reward and that's where the average woman falls for me. If a nice one shows up and I'm attractive enough, sure I'll give it ago. But I won't be sad if she's not interested

Nice point

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You create problems for your family with suicide.

>Not the guy you replied to but can you elaborate on this?
The thing is that, when you're young especially, its easier to just rely on people to take care of your feelings and do right by you instead of actually taking charge of your relationships. When I say "set boundaries" I mean establish the kinds of things that you will and won't tolerate. For example, if a girl wants to be friends that is fine but calling me at 2 in the morning to come over and cuddle is crossing a boundary for me because when you wake up the next morning and decide we're just friends again, that doesn't work for me. Additionally, if I express interest in a girl who I've been getting close to and she says "Well, I just don't know how I feel about you yet so maybe we could just stay friends for awhile." that is not going to work for me either. I'm not willing to draw my feelings out like that for anybody so, obviously, that's a relationship boundary that I don't want crossed. We're either friends or we're working towards a relationship and I won't tolerate any behavior that muddies those waters. I don't need that kind of ambiguity in my life. Understand, though, I was not this clear and concise and confident in my boundaries when I was a teenager/early 20's. It was REALLY difficult for me to open my mouth and tell people what I would and wouldn't tolerate because after years of being a depressed teenager I just wanted everyone to like me and not be upset with me. It took me a long time to get to the place that I am now but my relationships are in a better place for it. I can tell you one thing for sure, I'm never putting myself in the friend zone again. Setting boundaries is a good thing for both you and the people in your life. When both parties understand where each other stands then all of the guessing games and confusion that comes with building relationships can be neutralized.

Not him, but you're missing the point, Suicide is temporal and once it's been committed, thats it.
Having a fucking whore cheat on you and/or worse, divorce you for no fucking reason and take away the kids and a significant portion of your income because the judge is a limped dick boomer. That shit is more ruinous because it sucks you dry and is a proverbial ball and chain. Just remember now that the richest woman in the world is Jeff Bozo's wife who got it all in divorce. As much as I hate Oprah at least she made her own goddamn money

No, I'm just a man who doesn't want to get his life ruined by a stupid whore and a cucked justice system

You don't have to "stay friends" with the girl after rejection, but you do know that it's common for them to say "N-no, I never thought about you that way at all. You're just my friend" even after giving you what you would consider to be obvious signals? Maybe you were just wrong about that, or maybe she actually had feelings for you before, but changed her mind just now. Who the fuck knows. Women never explain anything. And you're talking about being paranoid and insecure.

>I'm my family
Huh?

Chick here, I can relate and agree with you. I'm only in my mid-twenties, but it has been a slow, painful process to learn that being strict/having boundaries to limit your potential romantic interactions is actually a good thing. Eternal loneliness will compulsively make you endure dumb bullshit to fill the void. I let several relationships go on longer than I wanted because I didn't want to be alone and didn't want them to be alone. Only now do I realize that it only made everything worse and prevented personal growth.

>You don't have to "stay friends" with the girl after rejection, but you do know that it's common for them to say "N-no, I never thought about you that way at all. You're just my friend" even after giving you what you would consider to be obvious signals?

Which is why its your responsibility to firmly establish your boundaries in relationships. If someone is being confusing and contradictory, call them on it. Talk to them about it. If they can't give you an answer that you like then leave. We can all sit and talk about how confusing and terrible other people can be but at the end of the day we are in control of our own relationships and who we allow in our lives. That is our responsibility. It doesn't even matter if its a woman or not. If you need answers from somebody in your life and they will not give them to you then fucking bounce. That's it. This will always be your responsibility whether its fair or not.

>If they can't give you an answer that you like then leave
And spend rest of your life in total loneliness complaining on chinese cartoons boards? It's still better than no female attention at all.

>It's still better than no female attention at all.
Wrong. Nothing feels better than having respect for yourself and sticking to your boundaries. It's something you have to learn, though. It requires maturity and self-esteem.

>And spend rest of your life in total loneliness complaining on chinese cartoons boards?
I don't know why you're trying to make it seem as though your only two options are to either put up with every relationship no matter how dysfunctional or complain on chinese cartoon boards. The only way setting boundaries works is if you are actually committed to doing something when those boundaries are crossed. I'm not so desperate for female attention that I'd let some woman walk all over me just because I fear being alone. That just isn't my life. I'm not starved for attention in the slightest.

Every man, from the stone age to the present day, will be alone at one point or another, thats how it fucking goes, my dad was alone for a time, my grandfathers were alone, same for my great-grandfathers, and so on. If you can't handle it, You are not a man.

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Next level cuck lol

But that kind of reasoning we can chug any gender oppression, inequality or whatever historically under customs and traditions.

Women just want to receive more and more, and are never satisfied, while giving nothing back.

>I'm not so desperate for female attention that I'd let some woman walk all over me just because I fear being alone

Sure, you're a strong guy. [spoiler]Feels good to brag on an anonymous imageboard, huh?[/spoiler]
It doesn't change the fact that many people tend stay in abusive relationships simply because they fear they wouldn't be able to find anything better by this point. And it's not only women, no matter how hard feminists try to make you think otherwise.
People fucking donate money to camwhores for a mention in the chat, and even this is probably not the most pathetic thing there is.
Of course it takes ridiculously low amount of self-esteem to be this way, then again, aren't you forgetting where you are?

My girlfriend asked me out. So did my shitty ex but eh