How does someone with a naturally highly affectionate personality who enjoys smothering people with love stop...

How does someone with a naturally highly affectionate personality who enjoys smothering people with love stop accidentally leading people on?

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By considering how other people might interpret your behaviour towards them.

Start with not smothering people with love when it's not really romantic love etc you feel toward them. Fucking duh.
Till you make sure people know where do you come from and that your behavior bordering on intimate really isn't and till you're sure that it doesn't have any particular intimate meaning for them, either - don't fucking do it.
Also, some subtle reality checks/mentions of how you are, that you're not interested in anyone but whoever you may be interested in etc may be useful.
Basically, your behavior is implying certain things to people you don't mean to imply but do it anyway. So stop doing it. Just because you love something that's confusing to others doesn't mean it's right to do all the time. Leave such cuddly attitude for those really close to you or buy a huge plushie.

You stop? It doesn't matter if it's natural for you, you can still realize how your actions are interpreted and make the decision to stop.

I-I'll try...
I just don't want to dial things SO far back that I come across as cold, you know? I show love and affection because I genuinely do find most people interesting, and I quickly come to care for people a great deal. It's in my nature to make others feel loved and cared for.

You're also making it sound like it's in your nature to be self centered. I think that's something to consider.

>I just don't want to dial things SO far back that I come across as cold
Smile, kind word, being comfortable around others, listening and engaging them in a delicate but warm manner will be enough friendliness for anyone who didn't yet get used to your smothering attitude. Hell, some very thirsty people may already consider that as you indicating they have a chance.

>It's in my nature to make others feel loved and cared for.
Cute and all but then you know why you have your current problem - you make people feel loved and cared for without toning it down or indicating it's not specifically about them - so they assume you really love and care for them in particular, intimately, romantically. Surprise surprise.

Find someone who you can channel all of that flirty energy towards.
It's not just leading them on. It's fucking uncomfortable for people who are wise about you. You can use that as a power play if you want

I don't know if I'm naive, but it's actually really taken me aback recently that some people consider me a flirt. I don't try to seduce anyone or make them fall for me. I just hug them when I want to hug them, nuzzle them when I want to nuzzle them, compliment them when I feel like complimenting them, and talk to them all day when I feel like talking to them all day.

But okay. I'll make a serious effort to tone things down.

>me, me, me

:(

I said I'll do better...

>I just
Yes, isn't that the core of a problem? Quite some people just do whatever they feel like without considering how it may affect others.

If you're cute enough and warm enough to make people get attracted to you (would be hard to be led on otherwise) consider sharing such outbursts of love only with someone you'd really intimately love.

Hmm, okay. I'll start by trying to get rid of physical intimacy besides hello/goodbye hugs. I'm naturally highly physically affectionate, and in the course of 2-3 hours with a friend (male or female), I can hug them up to a dozen times or spend several minutes holding them or rubbing their back. tfw natural cuddlebug.

Yeah cut back to torturing just one poor soul. That's a good step.
What's wrong with just having a normal relationship you freaking dork?

Nothing's wrong with it, it's just not how I operate. I love my friends and I love expressing that love. I'm fairly young (19), and it's only recently that my bubbly and affectionate nature has started to cause stressful situations for me.

>it's just not how I operate.
Operate differently? The biggest mistake that women seem to make is that they think they are immutable.

>me, me, me

I'm going to... >.<
Though the problem is, some of my friends might be hurt if I tone down the affection. Lathering them with love is painful for them in their own way, but retracting that love might make them feel rejected or as though they did something wrong, even though they absolutely did NOT.

Wahhh. Why do I have to be so young and dumb??? I was never that popular at my old high school, but here in college I suddenly have a new person confessing their love to me every couple of weeks and I'm just left confused and wondering what the heck changed.

Have you been in a relationship before? 19 is barely old enough to have a legitimate relationship so I'm guessing besides some hallway dates in high school that you haven't.

You're a retard. That's not love, you have some retarded idea of love that you learned from too many chinese cartoons and maybe even a lack of genuine affection in your own life. You're just some weird, gay, selfish cuddle whore or a larper on an anime website.

>woman
>kiniro mosaic

>Wahhhh
larping homo detected

Uhh, no? My basic personality is what it is. I like anime, yes, but I was verbally and physically expressive long before I watched my first anime. I also came from a wonderful and very loving family, so that's where my general disposition and personality comes from.

You're going to have to eventually let go of these friends that survive off of your affection. The longer you put it off the more these friends are going to hurt once you are forced to cut off this supply of love because the situation reaches a breaking point.

Subconsciously this affection you're sending out to people fills a void within yourself, a void that's insecure and desires to be needed by others in order to be filled. You need these friends as much as they need you to sustain this feeling until you resolve it on your own.

You already know what you have to do, your intuition is speaking to you, continue resisting it if you want but be prepared for me trouble if you do. A lot of people in this thread are shaming you for being selfish, and yes, you are being selfish, but it's human nature to be selfish and all of our actions, regardless of how altruistic, are inherently selfish to one degree or another. Being honest with your selfish nature and understanding that this open affection is feeding it will be the beginning of you resolving this situation.

>Though the problem is, some of my friends might be hurt if I tone down the affection.
So don't stop it for just them. Why the hell do you think you have to make standarized approach that will be forced in application to everyone, ever? Though it may be worth consideration - but even then, what stops you from telling your friends why do you change your attitude? They should be pretty understanding if you tell them you learn to limit your physical expressions of affection because it makes some people uncomfortable or they misunderstand your intentions. Simple.

>Wahhh. Why do I have to be so young and dumb??? I was never that popular at my old high school, but here in college I suddenly have a new person confessing their love to me every couple of weeks and I'm just left confused and wondering what the heck changed.
Your moe attitude, liking for anime and being a cutesy girl allowed you to do what so many neckbears always dreamed of - entering the harem anime with you as the protagonist. Shame it's not as cool as it would seem to be, eh?

Thank you, kind anons. This is all very useful.

Yeah... I never wanted this. I'm extremely sensitive, hurting anyone's feelings is terribly painful for me. I never even gave any of the guys a clear answer, I just avoided the subject or gave them hints. I never wanted messy stuff like this to happen. I want people who I have platonic feelings for to like me only as a friend. I want the only person to love me romantically to be the person I fall for myself. I don't want crossed wires or hurt feelings.

what is with this kiniro mosaic shitposter? this is borderline avatarfagging

>Yeah... I never wanted this.
Harem anime protagonists never seem to do. I would assume it's one of the requirements.

> I'm extremely sensitive, hurting anyone's feelings is terribly painful for me.
That's understandable. And potentially a good trait from societal point of view.

>I never even gave any of the guys a clear answer, I just avoided the subject or gave them hints.
That is less good. You should be considerate, maybe even put a bit of apologetic front but you don't spare the hopeful people longing and regret this way. Just keep them at arm's length, with them not being accepted to be happy with you nor rejected directly enough to be certain of the message and learn to move on.

>I want people who I have platonic feelings for to like me only as a friend. I want the only person to love me romantically to be the person I fall for myself. I don't want crossed wires or hurt feelings.
That's very good. Which is why there's quite a few posts of mine ITT revolving around telling you how to not create wrong impressions. Ensure those you value on purely platonic level know exactly that. Don't get too friendly with people before they do, because if you're any as cute as popular as you seem to indicate, it's nearly certain some of your friends are in reality hopeful romantic admirers who simply don't have a way to get into your heart.

I never wanted messy stuff like this to happen. I want people who I have platonic feelings for to like me only as a friend. I want the only person to love me romantically to be the person I fall for myself. I don't want crossed wires or hurt feelings.

Bah, messed up the ending of the post. Dunno how the quote got pasted twice.

I've read all your replies, bloody hell what do you do when you are with someone you actually fancy and may love romantically? Fuck them on the spot?

This is the level we are talking here, you are doing stuff that is meant for those who are romantically involved I mean hell if you was a bloke instead of a woman you would be considered a massive creep, consider yourself lucky that you can get away from this without it affecting your life too much.

I mean hell even in bloody anime they do this shit you describe to show people romantically involved all the time, how did you not understand that what you are doing is confusing people?

>creep

I'm not Vic Minogna. I only do this with friends/people who are receptive to it and enjoy it.