Ok, so my fiance of 9 years cheated on me

None of this seems worth it. With all the time you'd spend humiliating and depressing two people (one of whom clearly didn't really want to commit), you could be single, bettering yourself, or starting a new relationship with someone who wants to focus on you and not cheat.

I'm a woman, if that helps.

But sometimes they do make people stronger together, it does open a lot of doors for discussion and self-improvement. Again, there's tons of reasons why people cheat, sometimes they're forced into it, sometimes they do it out of spite. That's the thing about people, they're complex, they do things with tons of different reasons. If you're not willing to work through it, the option to leave is still there. But if a person still wants to try, it's okay for them to do it too. It doesn't make them a degenerate.

Well, sometime people see it as worth it, they don't have to stay, but if they choose the option to stay together, it doesn't hurt to try to be understanding of each other.

tell she can make it up by go fucking herself and that she can die in a hole.
easy peasy.
thats the merciful option really

This was a lesson for you. You learned who she was before you had committed your life alongside hers. You'll feel sad about this whole thing, but you'll realize it was good you saw it now rather than later, especially if you haven't married and tied your finances together yet.

I appreciate it but I'll always go with the choice to leave. I'll forgive and forget by walking away.

Do you by chance go to MDE threads/MGTOW threads? Since a lot of your language is pretty scattered with buzzwords and rhetoric commonly found around there. Don't get me wrong, I've journeyed in there a lot too, but the environment around them help create r9k at an accelerated rate.

While it is pretty new-age individualist, I agree, you should take a look into stoicism; The Enchiridion of Epictetus is a good start and has actually helped me reformed from the terrible person I once was.

Morality can be taught and it is taught at different times, sometimes an event such as cheating has to take place for that person to finally start building that moral footing. I agree that morality is becoming more rare, but that's only because lessons and education to help build those morals are failing. That's where people who have learned those morals can start teaching them to the next generation based off of their own mistakes.

Cheating doesn't have to be justifiable, but it happens. It's up to the individual to seek if they're willing to justify a second chance or not.

It's also okay to have a moral shelf that you hold people on, but that doesn't mean you should blind yourself from the fact that humans have faults and not everyone will be able to stay on that shelf at all times. Yes, those who do wish to harm others in unmoral ways will seek ways to blend in those with the people who have the possibility to change and you shouldn't turn a blind eye to that. But it doesn't mean that everyone is one of those unmoral degens, that's where a person can make his or her own choice on whether a person is worth to be seen as an exception or not.

Why do you hold such a negative outlook user? "They belong to the gutter" "The Cheater is a dead weight" "the cheater is the degenerate". Those ideals are putting a false finality to a situation that can be mended if the two parties are willing to try. It feels short-sighted and like you're stunting personal growth.

And that's 100% alright user, in the end you have the choice to, just try to do it with the least aggression possible.

Tell her your into cuckolding and use the betrayal as a way to guilt her into becoming a complete slut who has unprotected sex with it's of men. Then when she gets pregnant or catches an STD run and watch the fireworks of social media from a distance.

>she's in pain as well

Are you for fucking real?

You make a decision, ignore all the warnings and proceed with your new relationship while your partner is totally unaware. That is betrayal. That betrayal is on you and proves you have no empathy for your partner and consider them a fool. You feel no pain and in fact want to inflict more pain on your partner by staying. If you were fair minded and not selfish you would end your sham relationship and allow them to go on with their life.

Have her do something really humiliating and then dump her.

Stupid fucking whore

>shes willing to do anything to make amends
Shes the fucking cheater so why is it your responsibility to come up with shit for her to do? If she was sincere she would hand you a list and tell you this is what she will do and if she doesn't you get to walk away. This includes how impatient cheaters become when their partner doesn't get over it in a month. That means the cheater really doesn't care if you are over it or not but that you should act like everything is wonderful so they feel better.

If cheater was really sorry they would walk away. Instead they want what they always wanted. To have affairs with no consequences. To love and fuck whomever they want and stay with their partner.

All this apathetic bullshit is really getting to me for real.
FUCK this person to DEATH for possibly making you feel you have to do ANYTHING for this person but publicly shame her for being a slut or whore.
You should walk away and with a clean conscience, yes, but why would you forgive or forget this disgusting behavior? Makes no sense to me. People will tell you it happens all the time and that it's normal but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be disgusted by it if that is how you feel.
This post is also dumb.
It is perfectly healthy behavior to shun, condenm and shame behavior you do not like. This is how humans cooperate effectively.
Don't let people erode your own values amd morals just because they tell you people have different ones and they're all worth the same anyways because THEY'RE NOT.
Nothing wrong with agression either. Just don't get violent because the law WILL fuck you up.

My two cents?
Make her pay for what she did in a way that you deem satisfying.
After that, move on with your life.
Imagine if this had happened to your son or daughter.
To hell with weakness, apathy and tolerance. Fight for what is right.

>therapy
What a meme
Otherwise, pretty solid advice

Tell her it's fine, you just want to dominate her in a new way. Once you've got her bound up, gagged, and tied up you can shove a knife up her puss.

>trying to resolve the issue like two adults
geez, how stupid are you?

Do you have children?
>No
Ditch her right fucking now
>Yes
Well that makes things more complicated...

Are you willing to rebuild your trust? If so, it's a slow process, but work on rebuilding it.
Also, this is good advice too.

OP here, both of these are very solid advice. I just dont know what route to take.

I still love her, at the same time fuck this bitch.
Its come down to a 9 year investment on fire;

Do i fight to put out the flames and salvage what i can?
Or
Do i let it burn down and rebuild from scratch?

Dump her and move on.
Once a cheater, alwats a cheater, you dont deserve such treatment from her.

I also want to mention, my social life.

We share alot of mutual friends, and while its "nice" to be a victim and get pity, i dont want it. They have mostly disowned her and are roasting me with typical "cuck" and "doormat" stuff, which i guess does kind of get to me because i can see there perspective.

Ive never had to handle a situation like this before, but i dont know how long i have to make an actual decision and what the consequences for my decision will be,

I hope you never get in a relationship, I sense something very bad in you. Don't want to subjagate someone to that.

If you want to make it work, make it work, if you want to leave, leave. What do you feel that is best to you? Do you believe it's possible for her to change?
Also don't let your friends call you names for this, tell them it's messed up.
Also look into therapy to get issues caused by this out, even if you choose to leave or not.

There's a term for this. Sunken cost fallacy. Look it up.

Top cuck here, ladies and gentleman

First off, the engagement is on hold until further notice.

Then she needs to explain publicly to all friends and family that your engagement is suspended for the moment. She needs to explain why, and what her plan is to heal that wound.

Then after she's been fully open and contrite to everyone, you leave her. Fucking annihilate her reputation by her own hand.

Just break up, you cuck

Or are you really gonna marry this whore?

You're the only one who can answer that mate, it comes down to a personal sense of worth. my own view is that is rock-solid advice if you consider it worth it to salvage, although I can't imagine a scenario where I would consider it worthwhile.

But if you do want to try and salvage, make sure it is because
>I still love her
and not because
>Its come down to a 9 year investment on fire

>emotionally cheated
no such thing, try harder next time, maybe you'll manage to put PiV and do it properly.

Have her put together a threesome (mff).
Ships sinking, might as well have some fun.

She'll also see how well you can fuck other people in a controlled environment.

She'll either come back to you full force, or your relationship is as good as dead.

i knew a guy whose gf cheated on him and when he found out she was crying hysterically and said she would do anything to prove herself

he asked for a mff threesome and fucked her gf and her friend and also got his dick sucked by the girl's friend while driving to drop off the two girls

he broke up with his gf the next day tho