I sometimes feel like a lesbian trapped in a male body

First and foremost. I am a male. I am only attracted to females (i love everything about them). Im married to a female.

I love my penis....however, i find myself envious of women's clit and the explosive orgasms they have.
I do not want a vagina nor penetration (hence...the lesbian qualifier). Sex change fucks things up and is SUPER unnatural, not even a consideration.

Ive always been super awkward around women/girls...but not always.
In preschool, i often hung out with the girls and would do stuff like play with their hair. My parents "corrected" my behavior even going so far as to have me sit at the mall for hours with my dad watching the difference between how men and women walk (paying attention to arm movements and hip sway).

As a result, my walking today is super stiff and mechanical. For decades now, ive had to actively think about how i walk to the point that i dont know what my natural walk is anymore.

I LOOVE women. Growing up in elementary, i probably hung out with girls more than the boys (and im a middle child, both siblings are brothers).

Sometimes, i think that if I had been born a female, i would be much hotter.

I process things VERY emotionally like all the time.
When im particularly under alot of stress, its not uncommon for me to actually cry multiple times a day (sad, happy, etc...just overwhelmed with emotion and cant handle it)

Sex to me is about more than penetration. Foreplay and the feels going into it and the back and forth during, its more satisfying than putting my dick in half the time. I LOVE eating pussy.

Porn preference is lesbian or female masturbation.

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So....you're trans? Enjoy suicide lel

None of that means a goddamn thing, you mentally ill fuck. You arent a fucking tranny, you're buying into a bunch of bullshit instead of accepting that you have a few fucking issues.

My wife....only cares about penetration (quite literally finds foreplay boring and tells me to "just put it in"). Although she cant climax from it...she also doesnt let me go down on her (shes paranoid about "not being clean"). So i dick her as much as i can, have her use vibrator, then resume 2-3x faster/harder once shes cumming.

I go to strip clubs by myself just to watch pole dancers who are good.
I occasionally get lap dances from girls i like, but mostly because they'll chat with me before/after.

During the dance, i tend to get very handsy and dominant. It usually goes from girl giving me a standard lapdance (wherein she gives consent to touch her or moves my hands to her), to "my turn" where i foreplay the shit out of the dancer, she picks up the pace on her end a bit (she starts grinding, sweating, panting, necking me, biting ear, touching my crotch), i escalate it further (use arms to pull her down onto me, wrap arms around her and make her feel surrounded, if shes facing away, put her arms behind her back and pull up a bit while pulling her hair, etc).
By the end of the dance, girl is usually trembling and is sweaty (dtf)...im good at reading what 'they' want and turning the tables so that 'they' are the ones getting a dance....or maybe im a lapdance partner that dances back well?

In one dance, i ended up having a girl grind on my dick and she came while i was choking her and wrapping my arms around her her tightly like an anaconda squeezing life out of prey. She was highly submissive and very kinky.

When i look around the other lap dances, they are pretty hands off....so its awesome that somehow i can build trust fast and they let me do stuff. Also...dances with me tend to be more intimate. Rather than deadeye staring at her tits, theres lots of staring directly into eachothers eyes for sustained time (sometimes forehead to forehead). In their eyes, I see "intrigue" (who is this person?), then "trust", and finally by the end "affection".

It's so lame when a guy says he's a lesbian in a man's body

When we talk before/after the dance, i find it super easy to talk to them about makeup, hair, fitness, dancing, relationships, weird/creepy shit that guys do at the club, etc. Basically....no masculine topics. I think they like it for whatever reason...because their eyes tend to light up having someone to talk to.

Ive been offered phone numbers twice.

I really do enjoy having testosterone and being physically strong (can dominate in bed). But i cant help but wonder about hormone therapy and how I might look as a girl w/ a dick.
I would LOVE to be able to wear something other than pants and tshirt/button shirt. Girls get all the luck in fashion...

To lesbians reading this...how would you feel if you suddenly woke up with a fully functioning penis?
How would you use this when having sex with other women?
What if your partner was biologically a man (w/ a penis) but had C-cup tits and a nice ass?

Ask Me Anything

No desire to be trans.
I have a penis. Gotta play the cards im dealt.

Such as?

How so? And are you male or female?

Please see a therapist. You aren't trans. You seem mentally ill. Your "feminine traits" aren't feminine, they're crazy.

You aren't interesting op no one wants to ask you anything.

Could it be that ive been rejected and deprecated as a man by my wife so much and for so long that i have begun to question the validity of my gender itself?

Like...we dont even have sex anymore. She exclusively uses her vibrator at this point. We dont cuddle, she cuddles her body pilloe that lays between us.
When i call her out, she attacks me as a person and calls me insecure. The only way i can cope is either 1) think of her as a callous heartless bitch or 2) rethink my entire paradigm and my place.

Lol I agree, I'm totally sympathetic to the trans movement and any type of sexuality you claim or prefer. But your post needs to be more succinct, it almost comes across like a diary entry with no point. I think there's a /lgbt/ board that would get more responses.

I'm trans. I'm gonna tell you, you need to set up a therapist to talk about this stuff. Its the first step in almost all transitions, mostly because the feelings involved are complicated and they often need to screen out mental illnesses or other factors that could cause you to feel this way.

Your posts in this thread are really troubling, and I would not recommend transition until you've had a really good long time to talk with your therapists about these complications.

Talking to women about "less masculine" stuff isn't weird, it's just a preference. Enjoying female company isn't strange, and being able to communicate with them on their term, and possibly adopting these isn't a disadvantage.

Read some Carl Gustav Jung and figure out what your dormant shadow is like. While you're at it, read Robert Greene's 'The Art of Seduction' and see what your seductor type is. Spoiler: it's probably the Dandy, and it's a powerful type.

Either fix your relationship to your wife, open up the relationship sexually, or leave.

To me, you just sound like a man with personality traits more common in women than men. For example, you're clearly much more neurotic than an average male. You're probably more agreeable, too, since you find an easier time with women and you can even talk about make-up with them.

I used to really seriously and honestly believe I was trans because I'm highly agreeable and neurotic as well. I began to delude myself that I'm supposed to be a girl and I nearly told my family about it, and wanted to take hormones. The media helped to instill this in me, but luckily I snapped out of it and started to accept myself for who I am - a man with personality traits that are a bit different.

Be careful about going to therapists about this because some will push the idea that you're trans. I don't know if you're trans, but just be careful, in general, about what you do.

Maybe you just don't know yourself well enough yet to figure out who you are. If you're struggling to form an identity then it's dangerously easy to fall into the "trans" trap.

Hey user. You are literally me.
That being said, maybe being a woman isn't what you want.
I would recommend being a little more open about your emotions and doing activities that let you play with them (acting, dancing, writing)
Those little things help me control my inner voice (have a high position at work, i cannot just come one day being a woman)
How about you take a gander dysphoria test? Maybe is just autogynephilia, I am afraid to take one myself

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You wouldn’t be a girl with a dick. You’d be a guy with tits. An unattractive man. You have repulsive fetishes that isn’t anything like what being a woman is.

So to get this straight...
You liked girly stuff as a kid, your parents went full bore on the "no, you don't get to do that", and now you're like this. You have a feminine side like everyone else, and your parents massively repressed it. Get some therapy, go do some supposedly girly shit, and enjoy life.

As a woman it is so refreshing to hear someone wake up from that bullshit. So tired of these obviously male fucks putting on a dress, talking in a fake creepy ass voice, and inverting their dicks and saying that makes them women bc they had feminine personality traits or like anime or liked playing with girls. Fucking insulting. Thank you.

Just stop masturbating as much and let yourself be emotional and you will feel better.

Yeah, it's a mess, but I don't blame them because it can become so delusional. I started looking into small little details (like a slight attraction to another male, or chatting to trans people/reading articles and trying to relate) to justify that I am trans. I even remember making up fake memories to confirm that in the past I was trans too. Maybe the last part was unique to me, but I'm just so glad I was able to get out of it.

I am very sure that the reason I had that phase was because, being highly agreeable, I had and still have a lot of trouble forming an identity. Adapting the 'trans' label filled in that void, so now I could center my life around something.

>Just stop masturbating as much and let yourself be emotional and you will feel better.
This too

Are you autistic?
How long is your index finger compared to your ring?

Wasn't that a meme?
Mine are the same size lol

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they do have a correlation with less testosterone the higher the ratio is but it's not the only factor that determines digit ratio. It could help understand if the person is genetically inclined to more traditionally female behaviors.

Women dont have "explosive" orgasms stop fucking watching porn and hentai and go to therapy for you fetish so you dont get osteoporosis from tortured horse piss

This. Some women can't even orgasm at all.

Yes, thirded. And it usually has to do with an other complicating medical issue about half the time, the other it's just a cruel fate of shit genes.

>i find myself envious of women's clit and the explosive orgasms they have.
Men get far more pleasure out of sex, foolish one.

I'm a trans top. But I don't like CIS women. Just other trans girls. If you think of the dynamics of a relationship not so much on a gender line but a dom/sub line it's less confusing. Anyone can be the dom and anyone can be the sub, ya know.

It isn't wrong and it doesn't make you less trans. Transgenderism isn't a sexuality. Transgenders can like guys, girls, or other trannies like me.

You'll be a better person and attract others easier if you're happier with yourself.

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You may feel like a lesbian in a man's body but you sound like a retarded faggot. Not like a homosexual with down syndrome but a complete douche. Your a modern day pussified over self analyzing pc man who likes girl on girl porn.

I can empathize, I mean, not with you wanting to experience life as a lesbian, that's kinda really pathetic, what I mean is that I can empathize with the lesbian ladies envious of me being a straight man and wanting to have the sex life I have.

Lesbian ladies? Stay envious forever. Being a straight man is the best experience you can have in life.

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