Alcoholism and Sobriety

I am an alcoholic. I don't get tremors or anything but I do always wake up thinking about that drink.

My employers started to notice. I am not in a risky job thank god, kinda the misery behind why I drink, because this coffee shop job was gonna be a halfway position til I found something more along the lines of what I went to school for. But here I am 13 months later still searching.

I don't want to do AA (I don't hear many testimonies of it helping), but does anyone have tips for going sober, or personal experiences? I was talked to about this today by my boss and I fessed up, but he forgave me and said I was going to "start with a clean slate" and he valued every bit of effort I gave to the business, and that I was talented for my job. I broke down and cried in front of him and my other supervisor. It was embarrassing I have some family shit going on too, and I miscarried back in January but I didn't tell them the latter detail. I went from zero alcohol to full-force slamming vodka every single day after.

What can I do to break this habit and better myself? My fiancé gives his full support, but we have almost opposite schedules and he isn't there to stop me. But I shouldn't need him to be there and baby me and supervise me.

>tl;dr anyone else care to give advice on resources to sober, or anecdotes of your own recovery?
>is there any way to not just completely give it up? I do enjoy craft beer and only drink it in the company of others, and because of my tolerance I don't get drunk off it, vodka's my vice and gets me hammered quick, and it drink it alone.
>Or is it all or nothing?

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I moved to only drinking between the end of my work day (4 to 6 depending) and 11pm and it solved all my work problems.

Should I try to avoid hard liquor entirely?

Sometimes I have to be at work at 4:30am and I'm off by 1pm so my "drinking routine" is all fucked up, especially if the next day I am scheduled to be there 2pm-10pm. That happens a couple of times. Sometimes I drink a couple shots before those afternoon shifts even though I know I shouldn't.

Honestly I don’t know if I could do it with irregular shifts, but giving myself those 8 hours to sober up for work has been really helpful. Alcohol is alcohol, maybe beer would work better for you but I just find it annoying to buy beer that I won’t remember drinking half of

I'll try to keep it on routine and taper down to just beer when going out with other people.

These irregular shifts even if I don't drink immediately beforehand have me showing up still somewhat tipsy sometimes. I thought I was good at hiding it, but apparently not.

I feel like scum

Treat is as a reward maybe?
I find that waking up and having a small amount of alcohol with coffee isn't so bad and if I'm so inclined I drink when I get home as well. I try to limit it to specific times though. That helps a lot.

My heart is with you user.

I think AA has it absolutely backwards. They say that you cannot control this and you must give that control up to a higher power. In my experience, I am the only one that can control this.

So your first action is to stop drinking.

Only then will you have a clear enough head to do whatever is next. The thing is that drinking is the perfect solution to all of life's problems. But it's only a solution for a couple of hours and it usually makes everything worse.

by the way, try for another baby. they make life worth living.

>Or is it all or nothing?
I have been told for some people it is all or nothing. I've been OK with only drinking after work hours and only 3 times a week. If I've already used up my 3 I don't allow myself any more. So sometimes I won't drink on a Monday to save it for later. Then I feel happy about myself.

>make it a treat
Good idea, I'm just worried that I'll be a weak person and relapse into waking up+shots+shots on lunch break which is what I was doing. I used to be a moderate drinker back in the day, rather than binging
Thank you. It is my fault and my weakness, and I can't just give it up to a "higher power". I think I'm gonna try to taper off then completely be sober by April, and then start recreational drinking not for intoxication specifically, but taste. As I said I adore craft beer.
>try for another baby
Maybe at some point. Need to get my life together first and get my head back into reality, and finish mourning my unborn.

Thank you so much for the kind words and support.
Yeah I gave up soda and it felt good when I tapered and then completely stopped. I will have a Jaritos or even a coke every 3-4 weeks or so, but only once. Maybe I can do that with alcohol.

The only thing is that after pounding a few shots I feel better, more friendly, more enthusiastic for some reason.

I'm lucky I didn't lose my fucking job

well I recently did lose my job due to alcohol use, and i have lost a few large things in the past few months that probably could have also been avoided. MY life also seems 100% unstable at the moment. I was in a motel for a month, on a loan i can't repay, now i'm in an apt(for this month, lost the job remember? the 1st is coming up soon)... It's extremely challenging to go through each day, and i'm not eating right, and i have almost zero f2f people i can talk to about this. i called a family member who i hadn't seen in 8 months today to calm down, but asking people for their time is hard when i've already asked for so much and never been able to pay it back.

Interesting thread. I'm also concerned about my drinking.

I work as a tradesman, but alcohol has never effected me at work outside of maybe one sunday during a holiday.

Quick backstory

>date girl 5 years
>buy house together, despite the fact I advise against it since I finally got my career job and it starts at low pay and exponentially increases pay, and I have student loans
>she says nbd, i'll help out
>she eventually gets mad at me for not making enough money, expects me to put retarded down payments that I can't afford over my student loans
>eventually cheats on me
>move out, her cuck brother moves in to help pay for the house
>drink excessively to deal

I drink alot but I also find it has zero effect on my personal life, I go home, I drink and hang out with my bestfriend and play video games
Summer I just spend at the beach doing fun stuff. I'm lonely romance life wise but everything else is fine
At what point is enough enough? I'm somewhat thinking this is just a phase i'm in to cope with absolute horseshit thrown my way

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I empathize and really identify with almost every single thing you said.

My boss doesn't know I was pregnant (I only lost it 8-9 weeks in) or miscarried. I neglected to tell him because his wife is due to give birth next month and whenever she came to the shop I felt a disturbing amount of rage and envy. To the point where I'd ask to go on lunch a bit after she came by and would down 1/3 to 1/2 of a 375ml.

This wasn't wgeb I started back in Feb 2018. I was fine. Now I'm not.

Stick to it, user. Like me, you sound responsible (lol I'm faking it) and repentant for your actions and want to make your life better. As do I. I know you can get a new job even better than the one you were let go from. Use this as an opportunity. I will try to as well. I will think of you as I go through this sobering process.

I am just so lucky they took pity on me rather than firing me. I deserved to be fired.

>this is a phase.
I think it is for you and me both. We'll get over this hurdle.

I'm sorry you lost your girl, I'm so lucky my man has stuck through this and has been not embarrassing me about excessive drinking or my behavior at work. I don't deserve him or my job.

it's me, have you decided to stop?

Ummm been sober for 10+ years, I’ve always preferred opioids to weed or alcohol but I’m this case of sobering up I used weed as a crutch whenever I got the urge. Try to get into a hobby that involves your mind and hands. I’m soberish these days as I’ve still got anxiety issues that are unresolved however the aa route seems to me like a cult of dipshit faggotry that reminisce on the moments they were a piece of shit. Don’t give up and keep your head held high, try to think of yourself as an RPG Character and as you sober up you’ll level up in dexterity and skill.

I cant even tell if I am or not. Would you say weekly binge drinking counts as alcoholism or not? I cant afford to do it every day because of my student loan or degree.
My problem is I sometimes blackout or nearly get into fights with people, Im worried I might get hurt but I can't help drinking so much on nights were the drink is so cheap

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I never did that, but now i have been drinking 1-2 pints of cheap ass vodka daily for about a month. When i was a student a lot of people did. some of them came out of it, but many others did not, or have not yet, or got into other forms of self destructive behavior.

I doubt i'll keep it to be honest, I went sober for three months last summer

I live in a place where cannabis is legal. I occasionally smoke once or twice a month, but maybe it's a better vice to lean on after work when I get the insatiable urge to drink a shit ton. I'll try to use it sparingly to wean off the binging.
>Like an RPG
Haha one of the only times I feel happy is every Wednesday when I join my party for D&D. Yes, gotta grind to stave off inebriation.
I don't know if it is or not, but I know every day drinking til I feel intoxicated is typical for me. If I go a day or two without I get anxious and my appetite drops, but nothing as serious as extreme physical withdrawals.
I wonder if any of my other co-workers or friends have self-destructive behavior. From social media and face-to-face aspect everyone but me seems to have their life together. Or they're better at faking.
Nice, wish I was strong enough to do that.

i meant i never binge drank, now i do tho (i guess 1-2 pints daily is considered a binge idk), but now i have this problem for hte past few years, to be fair i had trouble with H in the past, luckily not any more, but the A took over... keep that in mind as you consistently attempt to make good decisions and avoiding bad ones... It has been the hardest thing for me so far, consistently making good decisions and avoiding bad ones, hell i can't even focus on just avoiding bad ones half the time...

I think some people regret their marriages or relationships, children, friends, career choices, life choices, and possibly even feel despair. It's possible many of them made those poor decisions due to self-destructive nature. I think many people are very emotionally and mentally stable though, throw in some luck and there's your perfect person i guess.