How do I stop faking orgasms when me n my boyfriend fuck?

How do I stop faking orgasms when me n my boyfriend fuck?
I have never cum for real in the presence of my boyfriend. I have always lied. I just physically can't cum unless I masturbate, idk why.

Every time we fuck
>he holds out until I 'cum'
>he will just keep going and hold off on orgasm to the point of him losing his boner sometimes
>as soon as I 'cum', he cums
>I don't fake it every time, sometimes he jizzes without me 'cumming' (not even complaining)

I don't know why I even started doing it. Sometimes I just want it to be over cause it's dragging out.

I LOVE fucking, I just don't want him to keep holding out for me to cum (which will never happen).

Even when he's eating me out I just get distracted and can't do it. Feels good tho
Closest I can get is when he's fingering me.

Is something wrong with me? Also should I tell him? Additionally, fellas, tell me what you think, because I know he might be pissed if I tell him.

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Read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Essentially your boyfriend is a "nice guy" and spends too much energy trying to please you in order to get your approval, but he doesn't know that it has the opposite effect.

I just want to clarify...would you care if he just fucked you and came without waiting for you? You should literally just tell him that it doesn't matter if you cum or not. It will probably take a load off him (no pun intended).

Also, try more positions. You might get a better response.

You're totally right. That's why I wanted to tell him, but I'm scared. I will do what you said, and just be like

"Hey, don't worry about when I cum."

But when would I say this?

>Just let him rape you that's all
What the fuck is wrong with you? Sex is supposed to be fun for both parties you virgin

Sounds mental (in a literal way). Tell your bf not to hold out and enjoy himself. Like the user before, switch it up and do toys/positions you haven’t tried. For example, my wife likes to vibrate her clit while I pound her doggy style; squirts almost every time, and while I do aim for that, I try to be in sync with her movements and often cum before she does. Couch sex, or him standing are also fun.

How about right before he enters you?

I also see what you're saying, but the blame is on me.

I love having sex, and initiate it a lot, but I'm not sure why I can't cum from him. He tries really hard to make me cum, but it's all consensual

Wait for a good celebratory event, like his birthday.
Tell him you want to just be a present for that night, and want him to cum before you.

After that you can tell him you enjoyed the experience more than usual, or tell him it's a male/female thing and you enjoy shorter sex-sessions or some other white lie.

Yo, that actually sounds sick.

He actually got me a vibrator a while ago, I'm just scared to use it while we fuck in case he gets offended.

Not all women get off from PIV, so don't think it has anything to do with him or your feelings toward him.

>Essentially your boyfriend is a "nice guy" and spends too much energy trying to please you in order to get your approval, but he doesn't know that it has the opposite effect.
You got the "nice guy syndrome" wrong. A nice guy puts effort into pleasing a woman because he expects to be rewarded with sex, her bf is already being rewarded by sex and just wants to bond with her, genuinely believing she is cumming and therefore his approach is being reinforced as successful, as opposed to a nice guy.
Not every act of generosity to your partner is a "tryhard". You're high on memes

Hey don’t let it stress you out. I was a tad insecure when she started using toys (am I not good enough?, etc.) but after seeing how she enjoyed it (vibrator on clit, butt plugs) in tandem with sex, it just seems like a useful tool in elevating an experience that only we can make. Reassure him he’s not being replaced, but that it helps you feel more secure/relaxed during the deed.

Another thing you can do to get him used to the idea of toys is mutual masturbation. We lay down together and pleasure ourselves, often crossing legs and caressing each other’s bodies. It’s arousing to feel her tremble and shake as I’m stroking myself, and it helps me recognize the signs of pleasure when we do have sex.

Sounds like your boyfriend needs a bigger dick.

This guy is tryharding

Can't you just show him how to use his fingers/mouth better? I remember reading/watching stuff about female orgasms, and the guys that did those tantric massages always talked about you how important it was for them to make their clients more comfortable before they could create orgasms. Is it possible that you are constantly uncomfortable during sex? That would be consistent with the fact that you can cum normally during masturbation.

idk, their advice always helped me, and I saw more than one youtube video of clients, in their own channels, talking about the experience. Sounds legit to me.

You'll have to talk to him anyway though, so he can at least stop trying.

There's no way around it. He'll probably feel bad about it, but tedious sex sounds like a worst outcome.

If you know what gets you off, stop being so goddamned shy and tell your boyfriend with a straight face so he knows how to.
Like really, if you let him get his pounding in anyway, I'm sure ya'll can come to a compromise.

Get a wand massager and tell him to put it on your clit and get you off that way after sex. Tell him you would like to orgasm that way from now on

Thats it. Stop making it more complicated than it really is

If you want to be able to cum while intercourse do the following:
Stop touching yourself in any intimate way
Do not pee 1 hour before having sex and drink min 1 l of water per day
Rub your clit while he’s inside
Don’t let him finger you

It could however take you a few days/weeks before you’ll be able to cum but do not give in

This is a long and complicated journey but I strongly recommend figuring it out instead of faking. You think you are doing yourself a favor but you're shortchanging yourself more than you know.

First you need to discuss this with your man. Be 100% honest. Then get into a lengthy discussion about what makes you cum. Also tell him that you may or may not cum during sex and that he shouldn't worry about whether it happens or not.

Second, let him watch you masturbate. This will also be very awkward at first but over time this can help break down some barriers for you.

Once you get back to sex, you need to use your mind to coach yourself into orgasm. As in your inner dialogue is using dirty talk and fantasy to work yourself into orgasm.

Good luck.

I've banged a few girls that used a vibrator during sex and it didn't bother me a bit. In fact I like it.

I get some of the vibrations which is nice and the girl gets off.

Win win to me.

What if you say that "Cum for me!" sex talk?

Not OP but different femanon
>Stop touching yourself in any intimate way
I find that the more I masturbate the more horny I become in day to day life. When I wasn't in a relationship I would go months and months without masturbating. I only masturbate when I decide to, not from the urge to.
>Do not pee 1 hour before having sex and drink min 1 l of water per day
I always pee before masturbating or having sex, or else I'm too worried about pissing myself! I can't relax and can't cum.
>Rub your clit while he’s inside
Makes sense.
>Don’t let him finger you
Why? I love that :(

Do you have a fantasy or a turn on? Try roleplaying that helped me in a longterm relationship with same boring predictable sex

A different different femanon, not OP either

>Stop touching yourself in any intimate way
This can help increase sensitivity in the short term, but in my personal experience it doesn't help in the long term. At least for me, if it's been too long without sex/orgasm, my body tends to "shut down" sexually. During this state I am less desirous and also less able to orgasm.

>Do not pee 1 hour before having sex and drink min 1 l of water per day
I don't know how much this would actually help, but it could? More pressure on the area, but stressing out about peeing would only make it harder. I should let you know that the body typically shuts down the urethra during sexual activity to make it so you can't pee. If you've ever tried to pee immediately after sex, you should ind it pretty difficult for a few minutes, until you calm down. It's also beneficial to pee after sex instead of before to help prevent UTIs. Ideally you should every time.

> Rub your clit while he’s inside
Good advice.

> Don’t let him finger you
Not good advice. She's having a hard time orgasming already, you shouldn't cut out the only thing that seems to be working.

OP, if you only orgasm with your toys, you should try to incorporate the toys into your sex life. You have a consistent way to orgasm already, so you can slowly shift it into including different kinds of stimulation. By combining what you know works with a new sensation, you can start to associate the new sensation with the orgasm, and they'll come easier. (no pun intended). Have him use toys on you or use something on yourself at the same time that he's stimulating you.

Hey, not to be alarmist or anything here
I've been dating my gf for 6 months. We have sex every day. If I found out she has been faking for the past 6 months I would probably break up with her out of anger. I would hate the idea that she'd been humoring me and treating me like a fragile person. I would have a hard time trusting the person again and would close off of sex because now any moan or kink I believe is real could be manufactured.
Just my thoughts

>If you've ever tried to pee immediately after sex, you should ind it pretty difficult for a few minutes, until you calm down.
I haven't noticed any difficulty actually, and I pee after sex every time. I appreciate your response, none the less!

Hm, alright! It's possible that you're just built differently, or that you have low muscle tone in the area. Kegels may help you, especially if you've had a kid already.

>if you ever try to do something nice for someone else and they happen to be a girl, you have nice guy syndrome
kys

>girl cares about you enough to try and protect your feels
>get mad and break up

You should stop masterbating and then you will most likely come while having sex with him. Unless he's micro

nothing wrong with you. i didn’t figure out how to cum from penetration until a few months ago

try riding your boyfriend slowly so you can rub your clit against him and get vaginal stimulation at the same time

if you still can’t cum after a few months then i would definitely tell him

Just rub your clit while fucking it’s the only thing that works for me

The idea of making a girl cum is highly associated (socially or otherwise) with a guys ego.

It can be really difficult to break the conditioning "She doesn't cum = You're shit at sex" and that has knock on effects resulting in wanting to avoid sex since it doesn't feed the ego and rather hurts it.

I know the sex life with my current gf is really strained since she rarely cums (and doesn't care for sex that much) and I came from a girl who came quite easily and loved sex.