Uninterested BF

My bf is acting like this meme and it makes me feel very lonely and pathetic if I still keep initiating dates and conversations. When we hang out togheter irl he is always on his phone. He says it's because we don't do anything but thats bs. We do groceries, he is on his phone, we're (mostly I) are cooking he is on his phone. We had a stressfull period, but i am able to get over it and try again to do fun things together, but i'm getting tired. I don't want to break up.

Can some of you relate to his position? I have talked about it with him, but it doesn't get into his head. (He is also on the autistic spectrum btw)

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Break it off, dating an autistic who also uses every excuse in the book including making you use his autism as an excuse for his behavior already shows his hold on you. Leave before it's too late

I love him since i was 15 and i am not a quitter. Rather look for solutions

No, seriously, if you expected a normal relationship with an autism, you were sadly mistaken. It will not get better unless he recieves therapy that makes him want to change. If that doesn't happen, you will only continue to not be in a fulfilling relationship.

He is very social, idk how therapy can help him. Maybe he is just falling out of love.

>I don't want to break up.
I think you should consider breaking up.
Although you shouldn't be needy, there is a reasonable amount of attention a bf should give you. If he does not, you need a different boy that will treat you correctly.

And what is he doing on his phone?

>we don't do anything
is lingo for 'I'm tired of putting in effort.' If he wanted it to work, he'd make it work.

My girlfriend and I play video games together mostly, but we've been happy doing that and I still take her out, bring her gifts, etc. etc.

He's lost interest. Dump him, tell him it's not working and move on.

>I don't want to break up
You're not really supposed to WANT to but if communication is already broken down then he's probably already surveying his options (if he's not trying to reconcile it).

Maybe he lost that feeling of your relationship being special, now it mundane and non exciting.
Make it exciting again, plan some happy and exciting day that it's only him and you, without phones

you don't ask thw public for relationship advice because people hate seeing two people being happy with eachother im convinced we're moving toward a world where everyone is forced into being single and only date semi regularly just to try and all other human interaction is small talk or casual sex, do yourself a favour and ask somebody you trust about what you should do if all else fails im one of those single people that are great at relationship advice so you can always ask me im also technically on the autistic spectrum so id be alot of help my kik is: shmeveleven , don't listen to these fucktards telling you to "move on" if something is broke you don't throw it away you try to fix it first

Hey I'm autistic AND addicted like fuck to social media. I think he's addicted honestly. I know how it feels. Like it's an escape for when you are nervous to just look down at your phone like that. I'm super sorry you feel that way and I bet he would be sorry if he knew how it was making you feel too. Take it from an addict.... it's hard to stop.

Therapy can help him to understand how he is neglecting your relationship.

Memes and other useless shit

I initiate new things, but he is stubborn. He only invites me to the movies and often i pay for it.

I haven't been officially diagnosed with anything but in the several online tests I've taken where 20-25 is considered on the autism spectrum my lowest score was 45. I lost my only gf for similar things you're complaining about, only we didn't know about the autism at the time. He's probably very happy with everything because a routine has been established and he's able to be comfortable with you. Communication is key to any relationship, but remember that his brain doesn't process information coming in or going out properly so don't get frustrated if he doesn't get what you're saying or if he says something that's not quite what you're wanting. Be direct and clear but kind as well or he won't know why you're pissed off and will spend the next week thinking about everything he ever said and what could have been the cause, which will just make things worse.

I tried clear communication, almost baby talk like "you do this and i dont like it, how can we fix it". But in the end i still get ignored and when i critize him for ignoring me again he says im too negative and doenst want to talk and ignores me harder

It's possible he simply isn't thinking about it after the moment. Or he doesn't understand why you don't like it and so it doesn't compute to stop. Like my ex, she didn't like when I kissed her neck/behind the ear but I kept it up for over 2 years even though she said stop every time, because I read online that girls love their necks/behind the ear being kissed and I assumed it was the playful "I'm saying stop but keep doing it" since tone of voice doesn't always register with me. One day she said "that tickles" and it clicked that she had previously told me she didn't like being tickled and my beard was tickling her, so when I made that connection I was filled with regret and apologized for ignoring her requests for so long. I should have stopped when she said to but I couldn't see the reason why and my brain said "error does not compute repeat previous action until error is resolved" even though my intentions and desires were to make her happy in every way I could. It's likely it's just not clicking, tell him what you want and why instead of saying you don't like something. This pic perfectly sums up what I'm talking about, although it may not make sense to you since it was written by a guy with Asperger's.

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Just start to pull away, forgot to make dinner, refuse sex. All of this RANDOMLY, not in a continue manner.

Watch how your partner disposition changes

hey look! a dumb cunt.
OP take him on a date, don't ask him if he wants to do anything but obviously you've hit a point where you've fallen into a routine. You need to plan a date and tell him you set it up. actively engage with him during it and see if he doesn't perk up. I've had this in my relationships before and it's usually because of this. Doing everyday things together isn't exciting, it just feels like a normal day and isn't conducive to a healthy relationship.

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Honestly, you've laid out some issues I've had with spectrum folk. I appreciate the insight. I terribly hate it when I get trapped in loops where I have to justify my boundaries, and my justifications are considered "not good enough" which, in their minds, means they're "allowed" to ignore my boundaries. It makes me feel so small and powerless and lost.
You at least don't seem to be entirely like that, since it sounds like you took her "I don't like being tickled" at face value.

best advice

It's a double edged sword. On one hand he may be like me stuck in a 404 logic not found pattern thinking it was working fine before so the issue must be on your end, changing nothing until it makes sense for him to beyond you saying "I don't like it". On the other hand he may be thinking "I don't understand why there's an issue, so why should I change anything when I'm happy now?". Autism isn't an excuse for anyone's actions, but it is an explanation for their thought processes which lead to the actions. Unless he's at the hand flapping while moaning and stomping around like a tyrannosaurus rex level of autism, there's a level of responsibility to his actions that he's trying to shirk off with his diagnosis instead of seizing the opportunities to better himself for your and others' sake.
Honestly, after reading up on how difficult it is for normal people to be in a relationship with anyone with a disorder within the autism spectrum, it makes me even more appreciative of and gives a new perspective to how much you care about the person to put up with all their antics and difficulties often to the detriment of your needs and wants. Props to you and all those out there like you with that level of patience to see the person for who they are. Hopefully you get the reward of breakthrough with him, but if not a break(up) might be the wake up slap he needs like it was for me and the freedom from the oppression the relationship causes you like it was for my ex.