I feel like I either need a relationship or complete isolation to be happy

Nathaniel Richardson
Nathaniel Richardson

I feel like I either need a relationship or complete isolation to be happy. I feel fucking awful when I interact with others or just go out around people. It makes me physically sick. I vomit, I get severe headaches, panic attacks, etc. The only time I felt okay around others was during a short lived relationship. It felt nice to have someone I can actually trust to calm me down, but even they gave up on me.
I've been medically diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder and social phobia. If it were possible I would just live happily as a shut in artist in a tiny apartment but the government doesn't view my mental illness as a disability so I'm not able to get on welfare.
I just don't know what to do anymore. My anxiety hasn't responded to treatment and I feel trapped in my own head.

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Benjamin Ross
Benjamin Ross

due to your constant isolation you created what is called a learned disorder.
Basically you put all this pressure on yourself and believed too many horror stories from social interations. The only cure is out yourself out there. You dont have agoraphobia and you just like hiding in your room. Thing is that anxiety that you feel is common and you are over sensitive too it because you lived a sheltered life of self indulgence. Discipline yourself a little and go for a walk. People watch, see how so many people out there handle real life in a social setting, you will start to mimic those responses and gain confidence.

Brody Wilson
Brody Wilson

I have gone out. I try to go out almost every day. It makes me feel so sick though. I don't know how to get over it when my own anxiety acts as negative reinforcement.

Joseph Young
Joseph Young

not enough, you dont go out enough because you make excuses. Thing is the quickest way to break of this is to be forced through boot camp and shit. But you being by yourself not talking to anyone and people watch at the local mall is simply you getting off your butt and doing it.

Connor Gomez
Connor Gomez

I don't understand what you're trying to say? You told me to go out but I do? Whenever I try talking to people they just get really annoyed and leave.

Luis Gonzalez
Luis Gonzalez

Because you keep pushing something to a point its obnoxious. You keep playing this pity party for yourself no one wants to be around you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and Man up or Women Up! Everybody's has problems A LOT worse than you for sure.

David Anderson
David Anderson

I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong. I just try to make small talk. I don't bring up anything about my anxiety in conversations. Here's an example from yesterday when I was out for a walk.
Me, after seeing some guy on a boardwalk looking out at the river -
"Hey. Nice day huh?"
"Yeah..."
"Do you live around here?"
"Uh. Yeah. I'm from X city."
"Oh that's nice. I live just past the bridge. The trail here's nice"
"Mhm... Well, I gotta go."
And then he just walked away. He had a really annoyed tone in his voice.

Isaac Walker
Isaac Walker

so you walk up to random strangers and start talking like that out of no where, huh? The problem here is that you are being awkward just randomly talking to people. thats what at least you are describing. What i dont get is in op you have had a relationship, how the fuck did you get that if you act like such a weirdo in the first place?

Gabriel Davis
Gabriel Davis

smoke pot dude, dont give me this, drugs are bad mmmk shit.

Christian Garcia
Christian Garcia

I was there before he walked up so I didn't just run up and talk to him. We had been in the same vicinity for 3 minutes or so. I think he was looking at the tide going out.

I met my ex through my childhood friend. The issue is that I live in a very small town so there's literally no way to meet people. There are no social settings apart from bars. No clubs, no courses, no places to volunteer, the library is always empty, there are no public events. It's mostly just forests, a park, and small businesses.

Luke Garcia
Luke Garcia

That's because you're not looking hard enough, you are not looking into community Sports Community Theater. There are all kinds of things out there for you 2 be more social. From what I can tell is that you don't talk to anybody. And what you say like walking up to someone and saying hey how is the weather, isn't true I don't think you do talk to anybody. I think you expect everyone to do it for you.

Daniel Ward
Daniel Ward

Same here. Trying to find a job, im applying to so many shitty convience stores, retail, restaurants, during interviews they always say I talk quietly and avoid eye contact and never call back. I dont have a car and live in a shitty drug addicted city so hobos try to flirt with me and call me twink. This made me HATE going outside. I wish I just had a live in gf where we could live somewhere super rural like Maine and be NEETs all day or hike in the forest/mountain.

Connor Long
Connor Long

There are no events like that. My town doesn't even have a movie theater for crying out loud. You have to drive for an hour just to reach civilisation and I can't afford a car.

Angel Thomas
Angel Thomas

No I know you're full of shit. There are plenty things to do you just have to go look for it and you're making excuses not to do it. You make excuses to make yourself seem like you are a victim and you want people to feel sorry for you. If there are schools if there are places of business there has to be places of entertainment. There is no town that would be like this unless you live in a third world country which I don't think you do you live in

Juan Cox
Juan Cox

And this is what I'm talking about you constantly saying well I don't have this blank I don't have that blank is the issue that people don't like talking to you. You just want attention.

Eli Baker
Eli Baker

Dude. The nearest building where I live is a 20 minute drive. I live in the middle of a forest in rural Ontario. Back when I was in school the bus had to drive for an hour and a half to get out there. I'm not making excuses. This is the reality of my life.

Christian Mitchell
Christian Mitchell

I dont think he should talk with random strangers at the country club, what would they even talk about?
Online friends. Im in this one history skype group and we are all good buds and call for hours everyday or text chat. Theres lots of active discord chats tailored to many different interests. Vcing with strangers helped with my social anxiety a lot.

David Sanders
David Sanders

Yeah. That's been my main source of social interaction. I agree that it helps a lot. A few years ago I would've never been able to make smalltalk with a stranger. I'm still not the best at it but at least I don't end up having a panic attack directly after.

Jason Flores
Jason Flores

then get in your damn car and go out and do something. It is an excuse if your problem right now is social anxiety.

William Miller
William Miller

dont think he should talk with random strangers at the country club, what would they even talk about?
like who are you and what are doing here?
hey this is my first time here, you come here often?
its not that hard to which you are making it hard.

Wyatt Reed
Wyatt Reed

you two are pathetic.

Alexander Robinson
Alexander Robinson

What do I have in common with a bunch of random boomers with no similar interests? I like history, linguistics, video games, memes, boomers just wanna talk about their grandkids, golf, and Fox news.

Hudson White
Hudson White

The social anxiety isn't my main problem. My main problem is my general anxiety preventing me from doing anything and keeping a job. If ever fuck up anything it sends me into a self destructive spiral of panic and self hatred. I've been going through therapy and tried every pill in the book to no avail. The social phobia compounds it in crowded areas, sure, but it's not the root problem.

Isaac Lopez
Isaac Lopez

I know I'm pathetic. Why do you think I'm here? Dumbass.

Gabriel Peterson
Gabriel Peterson

Wtf do you expect from someone that lives literally in the middle of nowhere. Theres a reason rural communitues across the world are dying and every young person moves to a big city, for employment, many options for social life, high salaries, oppurtunities, etc. In Amsterdam I befriended so many people and was constantly doing something fun, having lunch in a 400 year old building, riding canals, night life etc. Now Im back being a friendless loser in a 90% nig town in Alabama. Not everyone lives in a big city.

Mason Gray
Mason Gray

This. Went to my downtown restaurant and I noticed everyone was middle aged/old and probably an opiate addict. My city is only 100k and dying, the young people all go to Boston.

Jonathan Anderson
Jonathan Anderson

if there is a school then there is community activities for everyone. You and Op are being fucking pathetic and refuse to do anything that isnt behind a computer. Get off your ases and do something. Social Anxiety isnt a thing that cripples you its soemthing we all have and you arent sick you guys are just fucking lazy. Im done trying to talk sense in to you spoiled brats.

Isaac Turner
Isaac Turner

What part of "I can't afford a car" do you not understand? How am I going to magically teleport 2 hours away you ignorant fuckhead?

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