Goodbye message?

Oliver Perry
Oliver Perry

So I have some online friends that I've been talking to ranging from the past 2-5 years. Over time I've successfully ruined all the relationships/friendships I've made by being too open, not controlling what I say enough, things like that. Which brings us to today, I feel like they've all put up some sort of barrier between them and I. Nothing I can say or do will break this barrier, I've tried practically everything and they've all moved on to better/other people. This constantly hurts me, definitely not as much as it did months ago but it still stings. And I realize now that because none of this will change, because I'm me, the only way to stop the hurt is to leave. Unfortunately these are the only people I talk to, so this is a pretty hard task.

Now for the real question, should I send a goodbye message to some/all/none? In total it's around 9 people, some I talk to daily and others none at all. I don't want to be a typical ghoster but what's the best option in this scenario?

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Julian Sullivan
Julian Sullivan

Instead of saying goodbye, I'd write a message to them letting them know my feelings. Maybe the barrier is just in your head. You can decide whether or not to leave from there depending on the reply you get.

Hudson Collins
Hudson Collins

no self control

So basically you're histrionic and you can't help but publicize personal details?
Got it.

Are you really that much of an uninteresting person that you really have to do those sorts of things? Are you really this insecure?
I'm sorry to be an asshole, but you don't sound particularly likable

I'm assuming you're a female, because if you aren't you're probably a sociopath.

No sympathy from me.

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Levi Taylor
Levi Taylor

I've already tried telling them about it, more than once, they either deny or it gets better for a bit before returning to being stuck behind a wall.

I might've used the wrong words, I didn't really mean no self control, moreso just being honest, carefree and unfiltered without judgement.

Logan Martinez
Logan Martinez

le honest
lol okay sociopath

"NO ONE IS AS HONEST AS ME, I TELL IT HOW IT IS"

keep telling yourself those comforting lies

Michael Smith
Michael Smith


Hi, OP, I consider myself a sociopath, don't get discouraged by this, don't contact anyone nor send a goodbye message, just look for others, I can assure you that there are a lot like me that can handle honesty.

Don't consider the shit that this fag is posting, he's bitter because he can't handle the truth and is afraid of 'not fitting'

Wyatt Stewart
Wyatt Stewart

As the man speaks to his mirror, assuring himself he is normal, he seeks to belittle another in a wayward attempt of gaining some degree of attention.

It says a lot that I literally do not grasp what you mean when you say "he can't handle the truth and is afraid of 'not fitting'".

Either you're speaking to make a contrived, almost projected point, or you're just doing so because you think you're expected to say something of value, when in reality you aren't saying anything whatsoever.
I can't decide which is worse.

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Joseph Sullivan
Joseph Sullivan

Wow, have you considered that maybe OP had it pretty rough and didn't experience life enough to be an interesting person. If OP has to rely on these things, it's for a reason user. I remember this guy that was immediately labeled the 'weird' guy because he had trouble opening up to people. Some that tried to talk to this guy were also criticized for trying to socialize with a person like that. You know how much something like that would hurt user? To ostracize someone because they're not like you?

Maybe some people feel the need to explain why they are the way they are, so people can kind of get behind where they come from.

Samuel James
Samuel James

You don't believe someone can be honest user? Are you this cynical?

Christian Morales
Christian Morales

I can believe someone can be honest, but what I can't believe is that you can lose friends for it.

My immediate conclusion is

A.) OP can't keep a secret and prefers to gossip/talk behind people's backs
B.) OP's form of honesty goes hand in hand with being "unfiltered", meaning they have no perception of any right in wrong in their OPINIONS and believe that by being unfiltered they are somehow a good person, when in reality they're just a histrionic person.

Justin Murphy
Justin Murphy

Hey buddy, I respect your efforts to empathize with OP, but chances are you're nothing like him/her (most likely her). It's obvious OP isn't having trouble socializing with people, as they have made it obvious they HAVE friends, but cannot seem to maintain it. That is an immediate red flag.

Bentley Richardson
Bentley Richardson

So you're saying you say everything without a filter OP? Don't do that, everyone hides what they really feel to keep themselves from hurting other people. Everyone does it, you can't accept everything you see or hear in the world, that's just not possible.

Wyatt Bennett
Wyatt Bennett

(You)
As the man speaks to his mirror, assuring himself he is normal, he seeks to belittle another in a wayward attempt of gaining some degree of attention.

I consider myself a sociopath, so I don't kbow where are you coming from. And it's rich that you talk about belittling others when you are doing it with OP.

It says a lot that I literally do not grasp what you mean when you say "he can't handle the truth and is afraid of 'not fitting'".

I know exactly what I've meant with that, you are afreaid of being alone, so you have to be a hypocrite who are incapable to speak his mind (except here as I see) because you can lose your """"""" friends""""""""

Either you're speaking to make a contrived, almost projected point, or you're just doing so because you think you're expected to say something of value, when in reality you aren't saying anything whatsoever.

Wrong again, I have no friends, I have allies, and if someone makes a valid point about me, I accept criticism, unlike most people nowadays and their mentality "if you don't agree with me, you are my enemy".

I cannot even tell if the crazy one is me anymore.

Jose Kelly
Jose Kelly

So in other words you're not afraid to speak your mind, whatever it is you feel.

If someone told you to withhold information from someone else, would you? If you don't do this you hurt the person that told you but if you do you'll end u hurting someone else. What would you do?

John Harris
John Harris

I never talk behind others backs.

I've never been honest in order to offend someone else, and I'm always open to other opinions, that's one of the reasons I've made this thread, in order to gather other opinions as to what I should do. I once again think I worded myself wrong, I'm not saying I'm unfiltered to give myself an excuse to be rude or offensive to others, I'm simply being myself around them and saying how I feel, without fearing what they'll think if I say something that's wrong or weird.

Robert Richardson
Robert Richardson

If someone tells me to hold information from someone else, of course I'll do it, one thing is speaking my mind and other is be a snitch.

However, if there is a benefit for me if that person finds out that information, there are ways to 'leak it' without me saying a word. Remember that I'm a sociopath.

But leaving aside that, speaking your mind is what makes people think.

Grayson Robinson
Grayson Robinson

Just be yourself, I don't see you as a sociopath, if those 'friends' don't like you as you are, you are better without them.

And please have some dignity and don't you dare to apologize with anyone, just stop having contact with them.

Ayden Sullivan
Ayden Sullivan

Hi, thank you for the kind words and empathy, I've never really considered myself to be a sociopath but I guess that's something to think about.

Andrew Hernandez
Andrew Hernandez

so you have to be a hypocrite who are incapable to speak his mind (except here as I see) because you can lose your """"""" friends""""""""
So you are indeed projecting, speaking from experience in a sad attempt to relate.

I don't believe you grasp wholly the reason I'm acting, which is why you'll never understand my position, or even remotely where I stand with my interpersonal relationships.

Christopher Carter
Christopher Carter

So in other words you're the kind of person that doesn't really care about other people then, you put your own interests on the line even if others get hurt from it. Yeah, you sound like you're pretty unlikable dude or whatever you are.

Eli Jenkins
Eli Jenkins

The problem is that nobody likes me as myself, I have to filter myself and stress myself out thinking of how to be interesting in order to be liked.

But I've learned that that doesn't work forever. I guess it is better to just be alone.

Thanks again.

Elijah Torres
Elijah Torres

You two whack-jobs keep jerking each other off.

The fact you're trusting someone who openly admits themselves as a sociopath (most likely an underage one at that) just shows how downright stupid you are.

Good fucking luck retaining friends with your abysmal lack of reasoning.

Angel Martinez
Angel Martinez

I'll be your friend.

Bentley Thompson
Bentley Thompson

(You)
so you have to be a hypocrite who are incapable to speak his mind (except here as I see) because you can lose your """"""" friends""""""""
So you are indeed projecting, speaking from experience in a sad attempt to relate.

No, I'm not speaking from experience, because I have never been a part of any group in the school, nor my job.

And no, I am capable of socializing, but I never compromise with a group of people.

I don't believe you grasp wholly the reason I'm acting, which is why you'll never understand my position, or even remotely where I stand with my interpersonal relationships.

Says the one who just assumed that OP is a sociopath and a snitch because his/her group of friends won't talk to her anymore.

Josiah Rivera
Josiah Rivera

Hold on MN, I think you're referring to two different anons. I don't think they share the same mindset. The user you replied to does sound like a sociopath and admits to it, I don't know if OP is though.

Nathaniel Nguyen
Nathaniel Nguyen

Yes, I'm an unlikable dude, because as I've said, I consider myself a sociopath, but I don't see OP as one. I ignore why you are keeping labeling him/her as one.

Liam Edwards
Liam Edwards

I believe you're mistaking being "uncompromising" with "lacking self control"

Yes, I know, hard to believe. People who have opinions and beliefs must exercise great care in expressing themselves, especially in doing so to loved ones as to maintain healthy relationships?

Why? Because forming relationships is a natural, and frankly imperative, part of human nature. Being alone has made you blind to this, and the fact that you are unable to grasp that due to your unbelievable narcissism, you will never admit that I'm right, so please keep telling yourself that "you're capable of socializing" you absolute omega male.

LOL

Carter White
Carter White

I'm not MN, I didn't label OP a sociopath.

Christopher Martin
Christopher Martin

Better than someone who keeps saying that it's OP's fault because people don't like his/her opinions.

Don't worry, OP, there are 7 billion of persons here, just 9 (10 with this user) who doesn't like your personality is not something to stress out.

Chase Powell
Chase Powell

No, just being yourself is enough, now reading this post, maybe the paople you know notice your facade, you have 2 options: get a better facade or limit your interaction with the people you know with some generic topics.

Being alone is not the end of the world either, you have 4 chan, where you can interact with people and be yourself.

Cameron Perez
Cameron Perez

If people don't find you interesting it's because you haven't experienced enough. People come up with stories to tell because they lived through things. If you travel you can tell people how it went, if you went to school you can tell people how it went, if you learned stuff you can tell people about it. Being interesting is basically doing and learning things as you live, do it at your natural pace and you'll be interesting to more people in time.

Nathaniel Flores
Nathaniel Flores

(You)
I believe you're mistaking being "uncompromising" with "lacking self control"

No, I know the difference, I don't compromise with anyone, because of that, I can speak my mind as I want, because I'm bot part of any group (or pack).

Yes, I know, hard to believe. People who have opinions and beliefs must exercise great care in expressing themselves, especially in doing so to loved ones as to maintain healthy relationships?

You must live under a rock, given that there are no healthy rekationships anymore, there is this mindset of 'if you are not with me, you are against me', so no, agreei g with people as if I was in a cult is not my thing.

Why? Because forming relationships is a natural, and frankly imperative, part of human nature. Being alone has made you blind to this, and the fact that you are unable to grasp that due to your unbelievable narcissism, you will never admit that I'm right, so please keep telling yourself that "you're capable of socializing" you absolute omega male.

First of all, socializing is being capable of interacting with others without spilling your spaguetti, I can do it, I don't need intimate relationships, as I don't like them.

About those pack labels, sorry, I'm above that, I'm not a caveman nor an ape to follow those hierarchies.

For me, there is useful people and useless people, I stick around useful people, I discard useless people.

OP, the best way of knowing if this user is right about you being a sociopath is if you agree or disagree with the last paragraph.

Nathan Green
Nathan Green

I'm not a caveman nor an ape to follow those hierarchies.
I can only hope you grow out of this phase as you get that age where you're becoming legally an adult, but I doubt it considering how stupid and unable to self-reflect you are. Actually it's more-so that you're unwilling to do so if the facts presented aren't very nice.

Sad!

Jason Hill
Jason Hill

how would we talk?

how do you even call those relationships real when you're constantly filtering your thoughts so your partner doesn't judge you

these are both pretty true, things to think about, thank you

Julian Davis
Julian Davis

Just make new friends. Always make new friends. People come and go. Don’t send a goodbye message since it’s kinda like burning a bridge for no reason. Maybe a few years down the line you can hang out with them again.

Matthew Foster
Matthew Foster

I disagree with the useful and useless people if that's what you're referring to. If you're talking about MN's thoughts on relationships I disagree as well. Relationships are simply people giving each other things they both want.

Kevin Price
Kevin Price

Because relationships involved building said relationship first to a mutual level of trust so that when you *do* unload your belief that Hitler was a good man, they'll be more willing to accept you for it, understand?

Same goes for girlfriend, spouse, etc.

Eli Stewart
Eli Stewart

I don't see any arguments, user, just a lame try of shaming me (whatever shame means) for me, it's sad worrying about others seeing you as alfa, beta, omega or whatever cavemen shit.

And about my age, 37, so it goes back at you, maybe when you get to my age, you will stop having these complex of trying to be the alfa male.

Kayden Martinez
Kayden Martinez

All I'm saying is you come off as a neckbeard, you talk like an edgy teenager, and your level of self-awareness is tantamount as well.

You talk like a retard, act like one, and sure as hell you have the mindset of one. You are a stage 1 sociopath, and I genuinely feel bad for you.

Grow up.

Gabriel Russell
Gabriel Russell

(You)

I disagree with the useful and useless people if that's what you're referring to. If you're talking about MN's thoughts on relationships I disagree as well. Relationships are simply people giving each other things they both want.

If you think that, you are perfectly normal, don't worry, real friendship is really hard to find, just try to find people you can get along with, don't look for real friendship, because it is very unlikely that you find it.

Beware of people like me, we can put really good facades, surely if you and the other user see me in real life will interact with my alternate persona and will find me likeable.

Sebastian Watson
Sebastian Watson

We can email and find out from there unless you have another idea. We can talk on whatever platform you want.

Landon Scott
Landon Scott

I'm talking like that because I'm showing my real face, and so you can compare someone who sees people as tools with OP, in real life I act different, so don't worry about me growing up, I already did.

Carson Diaz
Carson Diaz

Email is fine to start,

[email protected]

Jacob Morales
Jacob Morales

Good for you, op, I wish you get lots of acquintances.

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