What‘s more desirable...

But being thin isn‘t automatically implying mental health. For all we know, those people could be addicted to other destructive coping mechanisms. By that logic, you should be equally disgusted by fat people and smokers. Are you?

Have to add that i do agree with you that being fat is a clear sign of someone not being a balanced individual, which is definitely a red flag. However, are there really people who are 100% balanced? What if being fat is the only issue they have? Is it worse than someone using vidya to cope with and escape reality? Why?

Not him and I learned not to hate on fatties but it's still pretty hard not to be initially disgusted by the optics. No clue how much of it is biological, how much cultural and how much personal preference though.

Why do you hate people solely because they aren‘t taking care of themselves perfectly? Do you also hate people who go to work with a cold?

Well that's where preferences come in like you pick and choose what you can tolerate and what you value. I mean no one is 100% balanced but I value my health so to me being fat is a no go. I mean desu I wouldn't be down if they were addicted to vidya either.

Because you can't choose to not catch a cold. You can choose to not eat three servings for a meal.

The point was "going to work with a cold", which is pretty stupid from self care POV.

Well if they were going to get fired or jeopardize their job by not showing up I would get it. Otherwise no, that's pretty fucking stupid too because you're now spreading your cold around.

But you can choose to stay home and take care of yourself till you‘re healthy again instead of going to work sick. Yet it‘s seen as a selfless act and not something to be disgusted with.
I’m not trying to tell anyone to not be disgusted with fat people or have assumptions about their character. I‘m simply interested in why being fat seems to be one of the most frowned upon way to not take care of yourself. Is this because it‘s effects are so blatantly visible? I mean, you usually can‘t tell by first glance if someone is a sex addict or smokes. Is that it? That it‘s so obvious they‘re not a balanced individual?

Obviously. But with a fat person, your issue isn‘t the consequences their actions might have for them (you don‘t care if they might get back issues or have a hard time dating), you are primarily disgusted with their lack of self care, or that‘s what you think it is. With someone coming to work with a cold, your issues would be that they might spread the cold or that they did it out of necessity (not losing their job), you don‘t have an issue with their lack of self respect foremost. Why is that?

With something visual you also affect your environment. Kinda like walking around in dirty clothes with cum stains. Just watching someone like that is of putting.

My reply is directly above for your first part. I don't think it's selfless at all. It's pretty selfish. But yea I think you hit the nail on the head. Being fat is an easy visual indicator and yet there wasn't even any effort to change that is what makes it extra off-putting to some people I guess. Also you can tell if someone smokes based on their hands even if they don't smell.

So one of the issues with fat people is that they have the audacity to force others to endure their unsightly presence and that‘s what appalls people?
Iow, they violate other‘s need for an aesthetically pleasing environment?

I mean, that's a way to put it. It's not like I blame them, fat people gotta live too and shouldn't just hide at home, but they sure aren't contributing towards an aesthetic environment.

I never said I wasn't? Also you get a cold once in a while. If you're fat, you're fat everyday until you're not. It's understandable to not to take care of yourself very well every single day but it's less understandable to not take care of yourself on most days. Also being fat usually goes hand in hand with poor hygiene. It usually extends beyond just neglecting one aspect.

What if there have been countless efforts to try and change it? Would that just mean the lack of discipline (implying that the issue was lack of discipline) is what‘s off putting? Iow, we are disgusted and lose respect for any individual that showcases a lack of self respect and self discipline not matter how it manifests and being fat just happens to be a very obvious indicator of those?

I mean I didn't consider that but that user has a point. I'd rather live in a nice looking neighborhood than a rundown one even if every other quality of living is the same.

If they're actively trying to change it, I'm not gonna shit on them but until they can follow through it's still off putting. Yep, people generally don't have high respect for those that lack self respect and self discipline. I mean just take a look at any of the problems posted on /adv on a normal given day.

But the disgust with them is basically people wishing they would just hide or cease to exist?

>less understandable to not take care of yourself on most days

So do you think that‘s due to some people just not feeling like taking care of themselves or is it that they aren‘t able to do so because they lack the energy? What if they lack the energy to take care of themselves because they need all the energy to hold up all the coping mechanisms they had to put in place to survive so far? I mean, obviously it would be better for them to drop what‘s sucking the energy out of them, but what if that‘s too painful to endure?

Well, can‘t disagree with that

So, are we constantly seeking for disciplined people to look up to so we can learn to be more like them and that is why we look down upon people with less discipline than us?

>But the disgust with them is basically people wishing they would just hide or cease to exist?
I take "cease to exist" also includes getting fit. And sure, if it was possible to make all fat and ugly people not fat and ugly, it'd be great. And while hiding would be preferable for aesthetics, it'd be a net negative for mental wellbeing of too many people, which in turn would make them likely to be less productive members of society (not from a capitalistic pov), making it a bad deal overall.

So, what do you think is the reason some people just can not take better care of themselves for the life of them?

Not the first user but the second one. I'm gonna be honest and say I have no clue what you're trying to say here. I mean look we can have all the empathy in the world for everyone but that's exhausting. You choose what's important to you.

Food is tasty and cheap unlike hookers and drugs?

Probably too many factors to make it worth to list them, given how most people suck at taking care of themselves.

If we specify it to more extreme cases: Genetics/mental issues and shitty childhoods when they couldn't internalise the basics are probably the top reasons. And then there is probably some kind of trauma for older people.

But is the opposite of empathy, hate? Wouldn‘t it be indifference? Hating something implies that it somehow is bothering you. Why would someone‘s self discipline bother you? I don‘t mean why it would bother you if your mom or your wife was fat. But why hate random fat people you see in public?

>I mean look we can have all the empathy in the world for everyone but that's exhausting.
Not the guy but surely hatred is much more exhausting than empathy?

>So, are we constantly seeking for disciplined people to look up to so we can learn to be more like them

Yes, one should always strive to self improvement.

>and that is why we look down upon people with less discipline than us?

I think people do it to feel better about themselves. To reassure themselves they're making progress. It's not a good thing to focus too much attention on imo. Better to focus on bettering yourself.

But going to hookers and doing drugs isn‘t taking good care if oneself, so that‘s not really an answer to my question.
My question was more what you think gets people into the position to being unable to take care of themselves? I mean, i doubt that some babies simply get born without self respect.

>Genetics/mental issues and shitty childhoods when they couldn't internalise the basics

And how is that a valid reason to hate someone? Is the hate directed towards their inability to be mentally sane and balanced despite this? Assuming that there are people who didn‘t have those starting conditions, how are those more worthy of respect than those who had shitty prerequisites? They both never had to or could overcome their less than ideal start.
Would a sprinter be rightfully celebrated for finishing and his opponent gets ridiculed for not finishing because he got jumped by a tiger on the way?

Ok I think you guys misunderstood. I don't go out of my way to hate on fat people and I'm not going to argue about semantics. I just know that I don't want hold shit in one hand even if it means I'm holding gold in the one hand. Simple as that.

Not that user but basically you can't spend your time being understanding to everyone. Literally same argument can be made about any coping mechanism. At the end of the day though, some people just have shitty discipline.

Well, I'm not the guy. I'm the one who is visually disgusted but with enough self-awareness to know that it's basically my problem.

Actively hating or doing something against people who have minimal impact on your life sounds way worse than being fat.

Ofc not. But how is it fair to hate someone for not overcoming something and looking up to others who never had to overcome that obstacles in the first place? That‘s like letting people compeed in the same race that have perfect physical abilities vs amputees.
I mean, i am aware that the world was never snd never will be a fait place. But why consciously contribute to it?

How do you know those people haven't overcome those obstacles. I think the people who have are just as worthy if not more admirable.

Fair point but mostly by them having other coping mechanisms that aren‘t frowned upon as heavily or them having never had something to overcome in the first place.

And yes, people who overcome the obstacles are certainly more admirable than those who don‘t. But in society, it seems like they are just put on the same level as those who never had to overcome anything. Which doesn‘t seem quiet fair.

I don't really see it that way. People eat that shit up.

So, you have more respect for an ex junkie than someone who never did drugs to begin with?

the disgust is not a conscious choice, it's pre-conscious, or sub. any rationalisations are after the fact.

I can speculate that we are disgusted because when we look at the rough shape of another animal we quickly classify it, threat vs. not, potential mate vs. not, MY SPECIES vs. not.

I genuinely believe they simply don't register as kin in any greater way. Disgust might also come from the fact in any form of a natural environment (read: not with refined CHO/industrial oils/sugar absolutely everywhere) it is unlikely someone could get as fat as even an average US/Aus/NZ etc person is. It probably is a sign of sickness/genetic weakness.

>I genuinely believe they simply don't register as kin in any greater way.
Holy lel. Might actually be the case, my brain usually goes to "eww, what is this" and looks past gender or ethnicity as far as I can tell.

Wtf is the point of this thread? I wouldn't date either of them. If i ever commit myself to a woman ever again, i'll only do it if i truly like her. Not this, ''she's kinda fat but ok in general'' bullshit. That's a mindset for losers.

I would rather be single than have a girlfriend who is sort of OK.

Fit erryday

Altho a cute face does alot, personality is most important though

Assuming the fat woman isn't shapeless (because of actually being morbidly obese or unfortunate disposition, e.g. small curves and a big stomach) the fat woman would be more popular in real life. Individual opinions are going to vary but men (also) into heavier women are not that rare, she'd have no issue finding someone if she had other qualities. A woman with an outright off putting face would have it much harder.

I'm getting the sense it's an attempt to discern if OP's weight will influence her looks negatively in the eyes of men.

Fat is always worse, doesn't mean I'd date either of it.
Being ugly is most likely out of your control. If you are fat you just don't care about yourself. How can I expect her to care about me?

>But the disgust with them is basically people wishing they would just hide or cease to exist?
My disgust with them is that they don't want to be better. They are a liability most of the time because they can't help themselves. It's bullshit.
Why the fuck can't fatties just stop eating OR do exercise? You owe it to yourself. We all do.

>definitely fat
Yall negus really believe this 8ncel shit huh?

To me personally, the latter. In all cases.

I'm inexplicably attracted to weirdness and asymmetry especially on the face.
Plus, fat is simply appalling.

The fit one. It would really suck if I ended up having kids that were overweight.

A bad face can still be made up for, to a larger degree.