Warning imminent autism: How do you keep yourself motivated to do things that might not have an objective, quantifiable result? Because to my mind it feels pointless and I feel more reluctant to try.
My mind is inclined to indulge in things like: videogames which include robust stat systems such as RPGs. I review music as a hobby and am low-key fascinated with categorizing it by a numerical score. I like creative work because there's a tangible object that's literally manifesting before me as a result of it. I haven't got problems at my workplace perhaps because there's a direct reward that stems from it in the form of a paycheck.
But on the other hand, let's take reading almost any novel that's over 100 pages, which I find a monumental task. I keep getting distracted, frustrated both by the implied "suspense" (of whether there might be some poignant, enlightening thought in the book or I've really forced myself to read through 500+ pages of sheer mental ballast) and at my inability to discern whatever symbolism, obscure references the author is making, I fear the lack of an immediate "message" the book is supposed to convey and this discourages me.
I found out I feel in a similar way about relationships, my fear and blindness to where the relationship might be heading and it being beyond my control discourages me from even trying to start something, as if my brain categorizes it as "not worth attempting". But deep inside I do desire companionship, and thus this is a disagreement between my reason and my gut that I must settle somehow.
Might it be some sort of a neuropsychological thing? That my brain is simply anatomically different from the people who can do these things with ease? The reason I'm asking is that I think this might be hindering me from socializing and trying new activities, hobbies and stuff.
TL;DR autism demotivates me from investing myself in relationships, what do
For example I currently have three girls I'm involved with
A and B know about each other B knows about C but C knows knows no one else
In terms of the magnitude of economic relationship the ordering is
A > C > B
Once you start thinking of everything in abstract terms you can gamify things, like maximizing the number of relationships, optimizing their quality, reducing costs, etc.
Even in every day interactions you can treat it like a game of chess to target the desired responses by predicting how people will react to inputs several moves ahead.
Becoming attractive in the first place is similar to min-maxing RPG stats. Once you've decided on your target consumers optimize accordingly (think gradient descent).
I don't know if this helps but I think like this all the time.
Austin James
If nothing else you can just take your paycheck and get what you want with cash. Everything quantified.
How you build your reward function around your interactions is up to you though.
Levi Ward
This isn't about optimizing shit, this is about motivation. WHY do I want to involve myself with girl A or B or C? One half of my brain tells me that I want somebody and this is my chance. The other half tells me that it's a pain in the ass and I shouldn't waste my time on somebody with zero guarantees.
And polyamory/polygamy is frankly disgusting but you do you I guess.
>by predicting how people will react to inputs several moves ahead. If this was possible with any reliable degree of accuracy, there would be a Nobel prize about it
Luke Adams
The problem is inherently stochastic, so you're playing the wrong game if you're wanting guarantees Think more in terms of the strong law of large numbers
Juan Long
>If this was possible with any reliable degree of accuracy, there would be a Nobel prize about it
We're talking about guiding the flow of conversations, not predicting the weather on Jupiter a month from now.
>WHY do I want to involve myself with girl A or B or C? You can just treat it as a game. But if you have no inherent interest at all why are you making this thread?
Gabriel Carter
What does that imply in terms of relationships even? >But if you have no inherent interest at all why are you making this thread? Because having inherent interest is something that I consider to be healthy human behavior, and the lack of it in me I find worrisome? Which is basically what this thread is about in the first place.
Kevin Green
>review music as a hobby and am low-key fascinated with categorizing it by a numerical score >I fear the lack of an immediate "message" the book is supposed to convey and this discourages me. Holy fuck, this did trigger me, and I'm the type who tells his girlfriend that our relationship is just a positive synergy and love just muh chemical-electrical reactions.
Let's step back then... >an objective, quantifiable result So what would be one with vidya and reviewing music? Sure, RPGs are basically "increase your numbers" - the game but why would you participate in such an activity when it itself doesn't give you shit?
Kevin Bailey
Just skip relationships and pay for sex then.
Easton Harris
>So what would be one with vidya and reviewing music? Sure, RPGs are basically "increase your numbers" - the game but why would you participate in such an activity when it itself doesn't give you shit? I see things objectively progress. It's not just something in my head, it's something that I and other people can see on the screen all the same. I think it's something like that, anyway.
Jeremiah Hall
There's progression in relationships too
1st base, 2nd base...
Austin Davis
Sure but the progress is inside the game. There is no quantifiable result for you by playing it.
Noah Fisher
>might not have an objective, quantifiable result >video games Stop being autistic.
Angel Lewis
>I shouldn't waste my time on somebody >plays video games instead Do you understand what an idiot you're being?
Colton Sanchez
I bought an onahole after I got dumped from a relationship some 5 years ago, and I remember it felt quite similar to her pussy. So if there's nothing involved in the sex beyond the in-out aspect (because let's be honest, a paywhore won't cuddle with you or moan how much it makes her want to cum with any degree of sincerity), I might as well skip that part. I really miss the cuddling though. You've got some point there, but that's an american thing. Girls around here don't view it in terms of bases and can thus "break base" at will, so it'd seem once again a one-sided delusion of me to view it that way. There are results, the character builds I make will be prepared for a bigger variety of situations, and the game's ultimate impact on me might reflect outside the game as inspiration - maybe I'll be compelled to draw something related to it, or compose a track, or I might drop a tiny nod to it somewhere down the lane in something entirely different, who knows. >stop being homeless lmao Whan kind of idiot am I being? No really, this is an answer that I want.
Jacob Campbell
>maybe I'll be compelled to draw something related to it, or compose a track, or I might drop a tiny nod to it somewhere down the lane in something entirely different, who knows. Well, there you go. Approach life the same way now.
Adrian Gutierrez
>what kind of idiot You're trying to convince yourself that your social deprivation is due to you being some sort of special snowflake. You don't see 'value' in socialising, though you obviously still crave interaction, because you've been socially deprived and probably emotionally scarred. Now you've put up a wall to protect yourself, trying to convince yourself you're fundamentally different because facing the truth that you're just fucking lonely is too painful.
Caleb Harris
You might be on to something. Artistic exploration seems like a decent "excuse" for pretty much anything, doesn't it.
>You're trying to convince yourself that your social deprivation is due to you being some sort of special snowflake I'm not a guy who goes around yelling "I have totes schizophrenia isn't that crazy and cool?" I'm not proud of being a "special snowflake", I'd much rather be normal in this respect. The reason I brought the brain thing to the table was so I can identify whether it's simply a problem of my mindset or something inherent that I'll have to find a psychological workaround to. >You don't see 'value' in socialising, though you obviously still crave interaction, because you've been socially deprived and probably emotionally scarred Perhaps. >because facing the truth that you're just fucking lonely is too painful. I don't deny that I'm lonely though. And if that was the only issue, why wouldn't I simply seek the path to end that loneliness then? There's something more innate to this reluctance of mine that I can't point a finger at.
Nolan Robinson
>There's something more innate There probably isn't. It's a cop out because fixing the problem is frightening and painful. The only way you fix the problem of being lonely is to meet and spend time with people and eventually you'll come to value them, once it becomes less difficult and painful.
You're in a shit place but you're trying to make it a bigger issue than it is.
Wyatt Collins
Well I'm moving to a new city, so maybe I could try doing something about it and seeing where it goes. So where should I start with all that? I don't drink so pubs are out of the question.
Austin Gutierrez
Make your own objective. You already seem to value relationships, so there’s already something
