How do I stop being attracted to depressed girls?

How do I stop being attracted to depressed girls?

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Do you feel the need to fix broken people?

Kind of. It feels good when they tell me I'm the only thing they look forward to.

I dated a broken depressed girl. It was awful, the clinginess was unbearable despite how much she seemingly loved me. So now I remind myself of that experience and think about how it seems nice at first but gets tiring fast and decide against it

>depressed girls?
Do these actually exist?
And where do I find them?

Not OP but usually it feels good to see them reach a part of their potential and a new height, and seeing someone happy when they previously were far from it, and knowing that my actions helped them get to that state, feels like accomplishing something worthwhile.

The sheer vulnerability of seeing girl sad also triggers whatever instinct to take care of things.

They’re all depressed, or one step away.

Quitting watching anime would be a start you fucking weeb.

The answer is counter intuitive.
You're living in a fantasy. You've not actually been with a depressed girl. You'd LIKE to and thats a big difference.

Being in relationships with depressed people is actually the worst thing ever. They take offense extremely easily over very tiny little things. This makes having any disagreement with them eventually very anxiety inducing and a low sense of trust that things will go well if you try to talk about a conflict over something important. This makes the relationship unworkable because a high level of trust over disagreements is necessary for a good romantic relationship to work. Which doesn't work with depressed people. They won't show much love. They won't show much joy. They'll treat you like garbage because to them their normal is being in a bitchy mood and they've been that way for so long they can't tell how far gone they are.

I have immensely regretted any relationship i've been in with somebody who has depression. It will always eventually lead into some big blow up fight over something insignificant because they're trigger happy to flip the fuck out because they have irrationally bad moods and irrationally high sensitivity to negative things. Last girl I was in a relationship actually made me cry because of how much of a bitch she was. I've cried like 3 times in my life if that gives you a decent comparison. Avoid depressed ppl like the plague man. You want your kids to be surrounded by a mother who is full of joy and love and energy. You need to pick women who are wife material. Skip the phase where you're just dating around. Get into a serious relationship with mature well rounded human being to date.

Sorry to all you depressed girls out there. The only way you'll ever get a guy is if you get treatment for the depression and get on meds and start exercising and start therapy for seeing life in a more positive light to fight your negative low confident thoughts you have about life and yourself.

Date a depressed girl instead of girls

I'm kind of attracted to skinny ugly girls and I always dream about fixing them.
Giving them haircuts and make overs.

Did it once, fuck that. You're suffering from a savior complex. One thing you need to remember is that girls like that will often find comfort and safety in whoever is willing to give it to them.

All relationships have rough patches and all depressed vulnerable girls have hungry orbiters just like you who want to be the hero. Guess what happens when they fall back into a depression and end up confiding in that one "friend" who reassures her just how wonderful and amazing she is and just how lucky you are to have her?

why are guys such assholes lmao. of course all of you want women who never had to work or suffer a single day of her life, y'all are superficial as fuck and it's fucking disgusting. you'll never find women talking shit about depressed boyfriends the way you are

OP might've been with this kind of grill and hence is asking his question. You're spot on about how these relationships sadly work out though, famalam. Other than one detail, the fantasy is not necessarily so much that we dream of dating a depressed grill. But rather it can be that we dream of curing a depressed grill of her depression and her happily loving us for eternity for it.

That's because girls have the same goddamn complex. They validate themselves by being the one that their boyfriend becomes emotionally dependent upon. The problem here is that the op is specifically attracted to girls who are depressed - if you don't think there's something wrong with that then you're just as fucked up. That's not the same as sticking with your so and helping them even though they are depressed, this is being with them BECAUSE of it.

Try dating one.
I had a HUGE savior complex for awhile, tried dating a severely depressed borderline suicidal girl, two actually. By the time I was drained by the 2nd I said fuck it all. I just, you can't become that close with someone who has so many issues who refuses to help themselves or take any advice at all. It won't help them, it just harms you. Best case scenario is you help them feel a little better about themselves. But they'll become even more dependent and clingy, the opposite of what needs to be for them to help themselves.

I realized part of the reason the idea appealed to me was because it's easier to influence other people's actions or help them fix their issues or at least address them, than it was to fix my own. Now that I'm single I'm finally getting my life together for the first time since I was a young teenager. When I do get a girlfriend, I want it to be someone I can lean on, someone who can lean on me but doesn't see me as the center of the universe, their only reason to go on so to speak.
I still want to help people. But instead of getting eh, too involved, I've decided to start studying psychology. Plan on going to college and becoming a therapist. Dealing with severely depressed anxious people really does give you alot of insight and different views on things. It's a learning experience. But there's better, less stressful ways to learn if helping others (without harming yourself,) is your goal.

t. unstable roastie
At least half of my past relationships ended because they didn't want to put up with my depression anymore.

I really tried staying with my last gf who was depressed. But I just became an emotional crutch. She didn't go and get help, I don't even think she wanted to. I was there to become some God awful father figure for her that she could cuddle up next to and make happy all the time n shit. We knew each other for about 4 or 5 months and this girl was ready to marry me and give me her virginity and spend her life with me, cause I guess I'm just that great. She has no sense of independence. I couldn't do any wrong in her eyes. She'd make the biggest deal out of the most mundane shit, and if I lost my patience with her because of that she'd later thank me for yelling sense into her. Plus she'd randomly just start crying, usually just out of nowhere, or sometimes because I, "was just so cute she couldn't believe she was dating someone like me" or some weird shit like that.

I hardly had a moment for myself, and she'd have breakdowns if she thought I was purposefully ignoring her when I was simply busy at work or in class. I could hardly practice my instruments or socialize without her all over me. Plus she was incredibly jealous despite claiming not to be. Even now that we've been broken up for almost two months, she's studying cognitive behavioural therapy and Stoicism in the hopes she'll get better and win me back.

OP do yourself a favor and just avoid someone that's severely depressed. If they're not getting professional help you certainly can't help them, and odds are you'll be dragged down too. Right now I'm single, and I'm not sure if I could get more content with life right now

lol. funny how you paint her out to be this horrible person that ruined your life. and all this hurrr me good hurrr she bad.
to me it sounds like she did nothing wrong other than love you. and that has nothing to do with depression. it's okay I mean not everyone can click together and I guess guys don't like nice girls but don't go out talking shit about her like this, this girl seemed to genuinely care for you

Lol keep trying faggot. You weren't there, you don't know shit about how my relationship went. You don't know her, or her abusive family, or her legit daddy issues, or what it's like to have dealt with the multiple breakdowns she'd have around me a day. You didn't see her dump her bf of two years over the phone so she could later ask me out. You didn't see her talk about how I shouldn't ever change because I'm somehow perfect already. You didn't see her get mad when I wasn't happy with myself. You weren't there for all the times she would admit she should get professional help but didn't because "I was enough." You weren't here to see her freak out about the thought she might have a bipolar disorder. You weren't there to see how much I did care for her and how much stress it caused me. And I'm not pretending to be some good guy that didn't do any wrong in the relationship, I did say I would lose patience and get mad. But almost everytime she would fucking thank me for getting mad at her. Do you mean to tell me that's fucking healthy and just her caring for me? Was it also just her being a nice girl when she'd fucking cry her heart about because I wasn't as clingy as her?

It was nice having such a caring gf and all. It really was, I've never dated someone who made it so obvious they loved me. And when things were going well, they were great. But there is a line, at one point it became overbearing. Like having a fucking 18 year old helicopter parent. Then contrast it with constant stress from worrying about her constantly crying at random.

But keep talking shit about a relationship you've never had. Keep telling me she was just a regular, not depressed, nice girl that simply cared too much.

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I understand some of her issues could be a problem to you, like clinginess and breakdowns (those aren't healthy, nothing to argue), but Jesus fucking Christ, could you explain me what's wrong about her dumping her bf in front of you, telling you you're perfect, or trying to patch up an argument telling you that you're right? God fucking damn it, she was showing you love that way.

Not him, but any grill (or boi) dumping someone for someone else is a huge red flag. Just means you're next in line when she finds someone she thinks is better than you.

So just because someone does it once, they will always do it, in every relationship, carbon copy. Okay.

Behaviors are repetitive. There is a high likelihood it may happen again. Addicts relapse for this reason.

The character is from a mainstream game chief, just clarifying

>what's wrong about her dumping her bf in front of you
You mean to tell me it isn't an issue that someone ends things with a ltr to be with someone they've known for a couple weeks? The other user is right, it's a possible repetitive red flag behavior and she very quickly was talking to a known cheating fuck boy very soon after we broke up.

>telling you you're perfect
I'm not, I'm far from deserving of being called that, and it always came out of place of obsession. The last time she told me she felt that I was perfect was after I got mad at her.

>trying to patch up an argument telling you that you're right
Usually it wasn't really an argument. I could just be mad and she'd just go along with the idea that it was all her fault and I was completely infallible. It wasn't healthy.

how do I get depressed girls to date me?

how do you want her to react then? get mad at you back and attack you?
do you like being dominated or something?

actually date one and see if you still like them
I did and it only added to my anxiety and depression. Made me realize I have a lot to work on myself.

When your significant other is angry about damn near anything, do you just wholeheartedly believe it was all your fault and beat yourself up constantly for it? That doesn't sound healthy.

I don't really know how I wanted her to react, but I feel like she should've pushed back, especially if she didn't do anything to cause it.

Any yes actually, being dominated can be quite fun. This ex loved to dominate me in the bedroom and that is something I miss on occasion.

>game
yikes

idk man she probably thought of you as a role model and trusted your judgement because you were supposedly more mature/logical than she was
I just don't understand why you're making it sound like she was purposely trying to screw you over man
obviously it's not healthy to have some sort of obsession for a loved one but no where does that mean she is doing this to hurt you it's just her being honest about her affection towards you
would you rather she lied, or ghosted you and ignored whatever things you had to say because she's so narcissistic to think of someone else other than her?
It's okay that you didn't love her, it's good that you broke up with her if you didn't have feelings anymore but she wasn't a bad person man she just loved you a lot
she doesn't sound very bright, she said what she felt thinking it will make you feel better towards yourself
that girl sounds like a much better person than some exes on this board

Date a depressed girl for a significant amount of time and then you won't be