What's more morally right? Clinging to your ideals no matter what, or giving up your ideals for the benefit of others?

Imagine being homosexual and your family being homophobic. What's bolder? Sticking it to the man, or taking one for the team because you have the capacity to control your actions? Succumbing to your own desire, or succumbing to the whims of others?

An ideal that you are not willing to revisit under any circumstances becomes a dogma. Your ideals offer guidance but they shouldn't stop you from judging situations one by one.

There's a lot of options in the middle. You only get one life and abandoning a chance at real romantic love for your family is a huge sacrifice. But if your family is conservative and tries to accept your orientation while struggling with it, it makes it better for everyone involved to not instantly post pictures with the rainbow flag for everyone to see for example.

What's reasonable also depends on their stance. Family is important (assuming they're not rotten), they are part of your history, cutting them off can be the best choice but it always mean cutting part of yourself off. If you can navigate situations without going there it is easier to deal with for most.
But it takes two to tango. If they firmly believe that homosexuality is a choice and a sin and even their own son/brother coming out won't make them reflect upon that... you can't single-handedly meet them in the middle.

What if in the example, one has the capacity to experience love with a woman as others wish him to, but knows that it will never be nearly as strong? No other compromise is achievable. We're talking shameful individual vs brickwall-tier stubborn people.

The example isn't exactly my experience but I'm facing a similar dilemma. On the crossroads of life, and both paths are one-way only. Each one leads to somebody's pain. Instinctively I want to duke it out because I'm used to being a doormat my whole life. But is it the right thing to neglect myself like that? Will I ever be sincerely appreciated for that, or is it just some form of naive, religious masochism?
>If they firmly believe that homosexuality is a choice
But it is a choice. Not the innate attraction, but the will to pursue it absolutely is a choice.

Personally I think if you are already struggling with this now as a presumably young person, betting on just being okay living your life the way others deem fit is extremely risky. This is why people have a mid life crisis or get divorced in middle age: they married or got a job or made similar life arrangements based on feelings of the moment and limited foresight, they realized over time it was a bad decision for them and not what they truly wanted but they tried to tough it out, and then comes the moment you realize "hey, I'm not going to live forever, the healthiest half of life is behind me and what did I do other than keeping on keeping on?"

Obviously if your situation isn't the exact same then it is hard to give specifics but to run by the example still, there's more than just being able to tolerate married life with a woman to pose as straight. There is the betrayal towards the woman who marries a man who will never be crazy about her sexually or romantically. There is the example you set for kids where they won't see their parents goof around and cuddle the way people who are still nuts about each other do. You never do it perfectly as a parent or a partner but making a conscious decision to settle for this is imo different than it just panning out imperfectly like most anything else in life.

So yes I vote stop being a doormat. When you are dying "but my family wanted xyz" won't mean as much to you anymore as it does now. You'll have to answer yourself then, whether or not you've been happy with your life, lived a sincere life.

Developing ideals that help you to have healthy boundaries between others and yourself.

It's a sexual dilemma which involves something else than homosexuality, but the end conflicts are the exact same. But I've got the exact same conflict about my job, and my living conditions.
>they realized over time it was a bad decision for them and not what they truly wanted but they tried to tough it out, and then comes the moment you realize "hey, I'm not going to live forever, the healthiest half of life is behind me and what did I do other than keeping on keeping on?"
These are my currently dominant feelings, though I'm just approaching 30. I went for a demanding degree, when I realized that it's not like what I imagined, I went by the advice of others that "it'll get better just keep pushing on". Now I have the degree and the job, and I can't help but pause and agree with myself that this isn't the kind of life that I wanted to live. But at the same time, I can't look my family straight in the eye and tell them that I reject everything I went through, all they helped me with for the last 10 years on a whim. That's just crazy.

>There is the example you set for kids where they won't see their parents goof around and cuddle the way people who are still nuts about each other do.
This is how my parents exist though. Don't think I've seen them actually cuddle a single time in my life. Clearly it's a way to live.
>there's more than just being able to tolerate married life with a woman to pose as straight.
This relationship has one plus to it, she can give me a child, which no other arrangement can. I think I could deny myself enough to shower her with love. It won't make me happy, but it would make her happy.
>So yes I vote stop being a doormat. When you are dying "but my family wanted xyz" won't mean as much to you anymore as it does now. You'll have to answer yourself then, whether or not you've been happy with your life, lived a sincere life.
Yet am I not way past the age to go through an angsty rebellion of my own?

How to do that?

anons?

psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries/

Nobody is owed anything from you. Stand up for what you believe in. Only weak cowards let their beliefs be subverted by other’s opinions but at the same time have the intellectual capacity to admit you MAY be wrong.

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It depends on the ideal. If your ideal is to be a baby-raping cannibal then that would be hard to defend.

Sticking to your ideals should benefit others

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And if they don't?

Thanks anons.

it depends what ideals you are talking about.
are we talking about admiting your that favorite anime is shit?

What sort of principles do you have that would harm others?

your ideals suck and you should change them

I don't feel strongly about anime so go ahead.
Not many, but the ones that matter would get me arrested in a different country.
How and why then?

These situations are all unique. You make the decision on your own, rather than following a maxim.

You cling to your ideals, And ideally they should be to the benefit of others. But ideals and values should be placed and elected higher than the 'benefit of others'. Since if the others currently are shite, your values and ideals will lead you too better people. Visit Lit.

Shot up that synagogue user, we all know you want to do it.

Depends on the reason you're changing your stance. Changing your views for acceptance? Cuck. Changing your views because you genuinely think another way of looking at it is better and makes more sense to you? That's called having a brain.