How do you get rid of a self-defeatist attitude?
How do you get rid of a self-defeatist attitude?
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Change your mindset completely. Abandon ideals that cause self defeat.
Accept that everything that happens to you is your doing. It’s liberating to be able to take credit for the things that go well and motivating to fix whatever goes wrong.
how long did it take that guy to achieve that bod?
>Accept that everything that happens to you is your doing
>Be born without my consent
>dont want to exist
Wow is this my fault too? Never told god to make me exist.
Fuck changing your mindset. What you need is a change of mileu. You need to give yourself an environment that encourages you to grow and people that give you something, people that goes against the grain in your case. It's difficult as fuck if you're too cynical bit it's possible.
Changing his environment won't help him if he's stuck in the same mindset. He'll continue to have the same thoughts and subconscious habits, except now in a different spot.
OP needs a change of mental and after that, his environment and social circle will change/develop naturally.
>destroying your body with steroids and die at age 22
Ironic. He could save others from failure, but not himself.
No, but you control how you respond to everything that happens to you. There are books written by people like Mandela who were imprisoned for years, but controlled how they responded. Life is not fair so fight back. Stop being a victim
I think it's a chicken/egg issue. I don't think you can just conjure up that mental constitution, without some external input, to progress. I'm very much against actively seeking validation like it's a drug but I think it's important to some extent. This is just my personal experience.
How exactly am I supposed to change my mindset? I don’t understand how to go about changing it.
You know, it's one of the odd things about us that we are so slavish to methods - as though any method is going to solve our human problems.
There's a method for putting something together. If I want to be a mechanic, I learn how to deal with mechanical things. That is very simple. I go to school and they teach me the method. But we're not talking about mechanical things, and therefore there is no method. You have to THINK it out.
Look at it this way: is there a method to show us how to genuinely love someone or something? If you want to change your mindset, you have to look at and think about your problems and understand them wholly.
I’m so confused user
Change your thinking is hwut he means
user, if you want to change your mindset, look at yourself objectively and honestly and figure out what's causing you problems - in your case, a self-defeating attitude. In that very observation, you'll solve your problems by understanding what's wrong and you'll have a new outlook, thus changing your mind.
Don't look for an 'approach' by which you just disregard your actual problems.
I'm a lurkfag and even i know who he is.
>blaming God for YOUR choice to hate yourself
I read that in the plane (paper version) and it honestly changed me a lot in the past 2 months
So what you're saying the answer to OPs question is steroids?
That guy did steroids and died in his 20s
literally the person in your picture
By winning, nothing else will make you think otherwise unless you didn't care to begin with. People around you will make you care if they make fun of you for being a loser. Either ignore them or stay away from them if you can. It's easy for people to say just change your mindset, yeah, but how? This is how you do it. Start making progress and note that progress, you gain confidence this way. If you have a self defeatist attitude it's usually because you've been defeated so many times you're used to the idea, win and in time you'll change your stance. Don't try to climb to the top of the mountain in one leap, you struggle from the bottom and eventually make it to the top.
Competition makes this hard, you have to try to find a spot you can manage and start from there.
How am I supposed to “win” in everyday situations?
You don't, if you have a defeatist mentality it's because you've been losing a lot or for a very long time. You won't always win, nobody does. Start small and work your way up. If you're losing everyday right now you have to work on that.
I don’t really know what constitutes as a win or a loss.
You OP? If you are then why do you have a defeatist mentality?
Fix your single worst problem in life. Then you're only as low as your next worst problem.
>transferred colleges multiple times because I thought it would make me get better, but it didn’t
>don’t have any close friends anymore
>people end up ghosting me after a couple of weeks, or I end up quitting a club that I thought was promising
>wanted a different career but was pushed into STEM so I’m bad at both
I tried to do a lot but nothing works
So your problems are pretty much problems a lot of people today face, myself included. What specifically did you major in anyway? How good were you with the maths? Did you try getting tutoring?
About your friends, how did you end up losing them? Don't have to get into specifics but did they leave you or did you leave/push them? Why do you think people ghost you?
CS, the problem is getting motivation to just do the work and make it to their standards. Math is okay, I don’t have to do it anymore. I don’t really want to do CS after school.
They left and just ended up avoiding me altogether. They live in different states now.
Because they stop talking to me and I don’t see them anymore.
Are you still here