So my roommate just plain doesn't like me for personal reasons...

So my roommate just plain doesn't like me for personal reasons, and is trying to justify his distaste by complaining about me in any way he can.
Is there some way, direct or indirect, of dealing with this?

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What are the personal reasons?

This

are you an insufferable person?

>are you an insufferable person
I don't think so. I'd say 85-90% of people I meet love me. Though I'd say I'm probably insufferable to some 5%.
Between you and me, I think personal bias + my unrelenting charisma makes some people want to rip their hair out from their heads. What the fuck am I supposed to do about that, though?

more specifically, I really can't say. I think I just sap too much attention in social settings, and so egomaniacal children get extremely assmad and uncomfortable, and eventually become slightly obsessed with taking me down.
So yes, I am probably insufferable. But I'm not a dick.

bump

Move.

/thread

you sound exhausting based on how you describe yourself. If you use phrases like 'my unrelenting charisma' to anyone in real life unironically then expect them to promptly become sick of you

Anyway someone complaining to you is just them trying to vent their frustration they feel towards you without having an actual confrontation about it. You want advice on how to deal with this but you have to say what outcome you are happy with... I don't think this roommate will end up being a long term friend of yours either way if that's why you were asking

Either way I got a chuckle out of 'my unrelenting charisma' i'll have to remember that when I want to act like a pompous cunt

I'm not worried about how I come across on an anonymous fox hunting forum, to be frank.
I'm just unsure what I'm supposed to do about their frustration. Is there some way I can just talk about it?
It's someone I've known for a while. I'll probably just move. It's fucking gay , though.

I probably am exhausting, it's why I stay in my room 80% of the time

A lot of people are bad at communication when they have problems with other people. People make vague complaints about how someone is "a dick" or "disrespectful," but really these are ways of expressing frustration when they haven't thought through specifically what is bothering them. You should try and figure out which of your behaviors really bugs your roommate, and try and avoid those.

As general life advice, it's also good to keep that in mind when you find yourself thinking bad things about other people- think specifically about what they are doing that really bothers you and talk to them about it, rather than writing them off as a jerk.

As a side note, if you think of people who have personal friction with you as egomaniacal, assmad children obsessed with taking you down, that might be an indicator that you're not the nicest to hang around. You don't sound like the kind of person I'd like to spend time with.

>unrelenting charisma
this can also mean you loudly prattle on at length about things some people don't care about. you could be arrogant and annoying? what are some specific mannerisms you have that trigger the BS from your roommate?

No one here will be able to tell you exactly *how* to approach this person about their frustration due to all the dynamics we don't know.

This guy could be a cunt who just hates you because you are more socially successful than him, in this case then I dunno how you are going to ever make the situation better here - it's his ego which is damaged and the only thing that'll make it better is seeing you fail in some way. That's a simple way of looking at things and I assume his attitude might be down to one specific thing you said which offended him rather than just stupid jealousy

There's always the stupid fucking advice of 'just be honest with him and open up bro' which opens up another can of worms and might be what he wants, etc. If you really want the best then all I can say is wait for the right opportunity, when he is being more honest or drunk or whatever, and just tell him how you are sorry if you come across as a dick. Best advice i can give anyway - Good luck OP

the thing is, the shit that seems to rustle this particular roommates jimmies are shit like, fucking video games
I'll be frank, I think the problem is just jealousy. I don't brag very much at all, though I do tend to joke, and people tend to laugh a lot.
the issues between me and this roommate just seem so juvenile, and nothing I could change about my persona overnight, even though I am constantly making efforts to tone it down, and willfully remove myself from company to do so.

this motherfucker is very frustrated and constantly making passive aggressive backhanded comments and expects me to kiss his ass about it and play nice like some big shot. and I'm the exhausting one

damn. slightly redacting my comments from , it's possible he's still offended from some shit going waaay back.

I'll probably attempt something along those lines. I just want it to end
thanks user

look, it may not be your fault, but i can smell insecurity and light narcissism all over you. i asked you for specific things you might be doing and you come back with defenses of your behavior. it's an anonymous forum, just entertain for a second the idea it could be your fault- life will make you do that a lot so get some practice now.

what does the other guy specifically mention about your vidya' playing that it gets under his skin? what's an interaction you've had? you won't work anything out by abstracting everything to "he just needs me to kiss his ass, i'm fine like i am"

>insecurity
>that subtle narcissism
you're not wrong user, but as pointed out there are tons of other factors I haven't divulged

at any rate, they haven't really leveled any complaints. As a roommate I have relatively little impact around the house, not much to complain about, he said something about a dish I left in a sink full of other people's dishes.
for the most part I've only received semi-critical remarks about personal choices

it sounds like he may not even be antagonizing you on purpose. you may find him annoying, in fact, not vice versa. that's just a possibility, but you started off saying he doesn't like you, and now you're saying he simply makes comments that could be construed as critical. you should really find out with him if there's anything wrong because here's the thing: narcissism starts in part with a huge amount of insecurity on the narcissists' end. it could be equally likely that you're simply reading far too much into his reactions because you're afraid he dislikes you.

i'd talk to him, then based on what you find out i'd do some serious thinking about the specifics of how you interact, how you think, and what assumptions you approach the world with. your vagueness reminds me a lot of many people who have come and gone through my life, including myself, and believe me, your bead on this might be way WAY off. you might be approaching life from a really crippled perspective.

without you divulging more though... i dunno, the fact you can't/won't name anything raises a huge red flag.

holy shit is there another actual adult on here

good advice my friend

thanks user. you're witnessing the shame of a bored 27 year old basically shitposting thru a nicotine withdrawal, but i sincerely appreciate the recognition.

I could be way off, I haven't at all written that off as a possibility. That's why I haven't acted at all on this situation, and have come to Jow Forums to discuss it.
I do not necessarily /want/ to act on this situation.
I'd really rather just ignore it, go on doing my thing, and hopefully his attitude towards me in social settings improves while I do my stoic thing and navigate this.
But his frustration appears to be growing, his apparent disdain more open.

and honestly, I wish I could cite specific complaints of his, but our interactions have been extremely limited, and he doesn't tend to talk very much around me 1on1.

My dude, you must open lines of communication. Ask him what you are asking us, but in a slightly less douchey way. For example:

WRONG: "Why are you always acting so butthurt about my incredible charisma? Are you trying to take me down?"

RIGHT: "Hey, I've been getting the feeling lately that some things I am doing might be bugging you. Do you want to talk about it? It would be great to figure out how to make our living situation more comfortable."

>Might as well throw this out there too.
>random user similar subject.
Basically to sum up in a week I have just emotionally vomited over my house mate about struggle with weed, aggressive behavior and now I have had teeth removed and spewed again about codeine and an overdose recently. All I want to know is from this point on. I should Shut the fuck up, sort my shit and never speak of it again. Right?

I'd only ever refer to myself as such on the internet, don't be a fool

but yeah that's well phrased. thank you user

anyways I am going now as my planet needs me, but will be back in a couple of hours
have fun guys

Yeah you gotta do
what this user said.

You can't just avoid shit. you're saying stuff like you're really confident, you're a stoic (you aren't) and that this guy is frustrated, which he may be. but it's even possible this stuff is basically made up by you to justify a huge inferiority issue.

I mean, you're trying to run from a problem. That's the first real thing I've gleamed from you. Fix it. Don't be like me, it ruins you later. I used to be like "oh well I'm just employing stoicism by shutting people out, avoiding everything unpleasant and assigning blame as I decide and not as the world tells me" and it leads to depression, neetdom and worse. go confront him in a friendly manner and start sorting yourself out. consider this like a practice run for you to get some momentum. this will make you feel more capable and comfortable with your living situation and you can employ this kind of approach basically anywhere.

god bless dude, take that anons advice, he cut the fat out of my nonsense. good luck with the roomie and life.