GIOYC / Get It Off Your Chest

I’ve just read about all the cases of violence against women in China and Japan and I’m anxious to shit. I’ve used to dream to go there but seems like no way I’m doing that because one may have drugged right in the middle of the day. Seems like even if I do I must go there with someone else and tolerate their presence. I’m honestly so anxious you guys.

Often times my mom says me like why don’t I go on vacation elsewhere. I’ve never been traveling by my own, and here you are.

They deserve to have permanent problems that always stay. I want them to have actual mental health problems and not being the lying pussies that I know they are

Leave me alone today and every day. I don’t want you in my life. Yes, this is for you.

Me?

I hope they die

Please say tht was for me

You deserve to be a corpse

I don’t know you, whut?

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I think I'm at the point where I just say "This is my life"

I want to cut off your head

>woke up today

FFS. But my 5 year old has a vague idea about death and the thought of her having to deal with mine sends me into a huge panic. So I stay and I suffer for her.

Yes.

What initial?

I'll always want to harm them

I want her to never reply so I can finally let go. It was my fault all the way for being an autist but if she ghosts me then I can deal with it without having to hold onto hope.

I chose my terminal career because I want to soak in misery, be needed, and eventually prove to the few people who might know me by then that I fucking tried, I fucking excelled, and killed myself having ticked enough boxes so that people couldn't say I was some faggot who gave up.

I haven't had friends in 10 years and I have the deepest trust issues. I cannot think of a person who won't hurt me intentionally or not if I say or reach out. I was talking to a client today who talked about his depression, about how he was lucky to have friends, club members and a girlfriend who really surrounded him with support and love. He talked about how some people don't reach out and just bottle it up. I nodded, smiled, agreed with and encouraged his positive mindset. I explained a little about how his positive mindset does wonders for his condition, I'm sure he left being a little more sure he was on the right track to a happy fulfilling life. I bought the same brand of vodka so my parents don't notice I got a new one. I'm listening to the second .webm on the /wsg/ boomer thread because it's appropriately miserable and loops pretty well but also because I don't have to touch my phone and potentially see the blue light flashing, which means she replied which means I'm still stuck on this ride.

I'm not happy at myself getting caught up with this girl like this. I have enough shitty things going on. I want to listen to another sad song but that means I'd have to check my phone. Maybe I'll do it with a finger hiding the top ribbon. For too long my go-to coping strategy was avoidance. I'm so accustomed with failure, I honestly really wouldn't mind it if she told me to fuck off, even though she is a sweet girl. I know how failure and rejection feels and I got good at dealing with it.

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Who's you? Initial?

>chatting with a girl on tinder
>goes okay
>she says she's got projects and shit when I suggest a date but says she's available in some 2-3 days
>chat with her
>ask her out again
>haha I don't know user, I'm going on a date with someone tomorrow and I don't know if there will be more dates
Fuck me.

leave it on read. fuck em

Too late. Already told her what I think about this. She doesn't even see her fucking fault in any of this. She's clearly fucked in her head because she even goes so far to say I'm wrong in thinking she's been talking to multiple guys at the same time, which she fucking admitted a few posts earlier.

Christ I'm so mad I'm shaking. Here I was thinking I have a fucking chance finally.

you really gonna let this girl get you mad? be thankful she freed you up so you can put your time on finding someone else

>be thankful she freed you up so you can put your time on finding someone else
Yeah well I have a tendency to find terrible women in my life. She seemed like she might be different but well it doesn't look like it.

And yet she keeps claiming she keeps finding bad guys that aren't okay. I wonder why hmmmm.

I hope they die

I just hope they suffer at least as much as I do. And that they will never find love.

And I think they won't. Shitty fucking people.

some people have a tendency to find terrible women then stick with them and end up killing themselves

i cant say you're gonna find someone better one day but at least you didn't end up with this bitch, savor the moment, go to the gym, have some drinks, whatever

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I can't. I feel like shit. I'm at work and I still have to make it until the end. Then I guess the normal shitty rest of the day comes until I wake up in the morning. Rinse and repeat. Fuck this life. It's like I'm stuck in a loop.

I noticed that every single time I imagine a girl's first name with my last name, there is 100% chance whatever we have going on will fail. What the hell is going on? I can't prevent certain thought from entering my head...

I feel you

but stick it out until you clock out, get home and just take some fucking care of yourself, im not saying huddle up in the corner or something while eating take away, clean some shit, cook yourself something if you have the time, or just get an early nights rest

its not easy, it takes a while to forget a bitch but it happens

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>get an early nights rest
I'll probably do that. I keep wasting days like this. Then I wake up, go to work and waste the day again. Like I can't ever get to a point of finding a girl.

>its not easy, it takes a while to forget a bitch but it happens
I've forgotten so many women in my life. The worst thing is that eventually you get to a point where the sheer amount of failures is what hurts the most, not the fact that it didn't work out with one particular girl. She becomes just one of many and that itself does hurt.

All this cunt could say is "goodluck". Goddamn this I wish she just didn't tell me. It'd probably fail on that date and I'd be happy to hang out with her but no, she had to fucking ruin it, and she thinks she's doing me a favour by being honest. I hope her fucking date fails. I wish she'd come back begging but I know for a fact that she won't. God I'm so salty right now.

>just one of many and that itself does hurt.

how much do you love yourself

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>how much do you love yourself
I don't. Does it even matter anyway?

i'm autistic and have to mask it in order to fit in and be accepted by people. i hate doing this because it's so draining and no one else around me can relate to the struggle. i wish i didn't have to try so hard in order to fit in people.

I'm too quiet and talk too much.

probably not if you want to get a gf, ive read too many greentexts here about femanons moaning about bfs who were sadfags when they met him

but you're not ever gonna be happy if you dont love yourself and for whatever reason i think you're chasing happiness and a gf has been a goal that sidetracked you hard

a gf loving you might give you reasons or a way to love yourself but it might not

dont neglect yourself, i wish you find a guy in your life to talk to like you are talking to me, im gonna go drink and be miserable

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>but you're not ever gonna be happy if you dont love yourself and for whatever reason i think you're chasing happiness and a gf has been a goal that sidetracked you hard
I am chasing happiness, yes. I'm depressed and have been taking meds for the past year with mixed success. Still, I'm also 25 and would like to have a gf at least once, just to convince myself that I can do it and I can be good enough for a girl. So far I've only been shown otherwise.

>dont neglect yourself, i wish you find a guy in your life to talk to like you are talking to me, im gonna go drink and be miserable
I have a few "friends" but none of them are the type with whom I'd share any of my issues. I have nobody to talk to about this shit, other than anons on Jow Forums. It drives me insane, especially because I'm trying to be a good guy who does the morally right things, not shit like monkey branching that women do for example. And in the end my ass gets kicked and the fucking whore that treats me like shit finds a loving bf and lives a happy life.

I swear there's an indestructible invisible wall holding me back from happiness. No matter how hard I work to secure something from failure, it will find a way and the reasons will be absolutely retarded often enough.

How could so little change in so much time? Is this a good or bad thing?

A bad thing.

happiness is hard to find but contentment at small things done isn't too hard

>trying to be a good guy who does the morally right things,
only really pays dividends if you got managers or colleagues who are honest and know how to appreciate, otherwise you do that to keep yourself in check

>fucking whore that treats me like shit finds a loving bf and lives a happy life.
she's a fucking whore she doesn't need you to kick yourself down with her, yeah she's gonna leave a bitter taste but that will go away, so don't keep on trying to taste it

>it will find a way and the reasons will be absolutely retarded often enough.
you're at work, unless you're fucking up hard at work, at least you're employed and maybe looking at skilling up or getting a better position in the future

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Just what have I done to you to deserve this?

Sorry J. We can not have sex, but thats ok. It's for the better, dont you agree?

>she's a fucking whore she doesn't need you to kick yourself down with her, yeah she's gonna leave a bitter taste but that will go away, so don't keep on trying to taste it
It still hurts. And I know that after her there will be another girl who will get me just as mad or worse. And another. And so on. I was really hoping she'd be the one to break this fucking loop though. She wasn't supposed to be a typical whore. Although well to be honest I expected it and knew in the back of my head that she'd be like this.

>you're at work, unless you're fucking up hard at work, at least you're employed and maybe looking at skilling up or getting a better position in the future
Yeah well is paying me scraps that don't even suffice to make a living, and I'm already a very frugal person. Thank god my parents can still give me some money because without them I'd probably die.

Second letter?

I spend more time planning conversations that never happen than I do actually speaking to people

> And I know that after her there will be another girl who will get me just as mad or worse

motherfucker I need you to get this through your head when a dozen or more girls wring you through and make you feel like shit, in the end you're the only common factor and the only common factor you ever had any control over

as much as some internet stranger can care, i care enough to tell you to wake the fuck up and not let every random women who let you down to make you feel that bad- yeah it feels bad that's natural but there's some part of you that reacts so that it makes everything worse

you have to find what that is and stop it

while your parents are still alive and care for you, just make steps, take chances, do whatever, and move up a little in the world, remember, don't neglect yourself, you need to learn to care for yourself

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This is not for you

I need to move to a new country and while I acknowledge I must, I am so fucking terrified.

I'm going from a small, safe country where everybody knows each other to a big fucking city, London to be exact. I want to chase my acting aspirations, I have a few good credits and a small foot in the door.

But I'm going to be alone. Here I have some family, friends and safety. There I have nothing. I'm finding it difficult finding a place to even live in. What if I can't find a measly waiter job? My CV is terrible and I'd need time to go for auditions. No company, strange land, no safety nets, just about enough money to live for 6 months without an income.

The worries are killing me.

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How do you know that?

Because it's a fact.

I can't user. I just can't stand getting kicked in the ass so much. I don't deserve it and internally I cannot accept it. Yet I do get kicked and it fucking hurts because my inner sense of justice sees it and cries.

I really hope you aren't paranoid/narcissistic enough to lurk these threads, see an initial with a vague ass post, and get a sense it was made for you.

I feel like crying. I can't focus. I'm so cold and hungry too. What a shitty fucking day. Why do I even have to be going through all this...

>Yet I do get kicked and it fucking hurts because my inner sense of justice sees it and cries.

>inner sense of justice wants you to feel bad

stop

you're wallowing in self pity and believing you don't deserve things doesn't help you

i wallow in self pity because it's fucking dyscomfortable but BUT the moment i feel like i deserve happiness or a girl or care or whatever and keep on not getting it i just end up shitting on myself

you are always shitting on yourself

you don't deserve you making things worse for yourself

if your inner sense of justice is working to make you feel bad instead of making you do things that make you feel content then as much as a deeply held thing it is for you, maybe you need to change some parts of it

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>maybe you need to change some parts of it
How though? I feel powerless.

narcissistic doesn't mean self centered

small things, little tasks done, that you've been putting off, do that, it tells you yes you have that self-control

the next time you feel the desire to shit on yourself because you've not been getting the happiness you deserve because bitches are being bitches

read my posts or just remember them

and tell yourself it's yourself fucking yourself because the bitch is long gone and it's really just you and your mind at that moment and your sense of justice is fucked if it's making you feel shit instead of making you want to set little things in your life right bit by bit

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I know I should just stop thinking about it but goddamn does it drive me so fucking mad when I think about shit like with this one girl. We're talking and suddenly some fucking Chad comes up chats her up and bam she's gone. It makes me feel so fucking inferior. I just want to be special to someone for fucks sake.

There's movement in my head.
There's no noise. No words that I'm not intending to speak. No greater machinations. Just... tools laying about, used for when I'm doing things, when things interact with me.
There's not a soul in this skull of mine.
Maybe if I drill it, something could get in.

Then what does it mean dickhead? Please explain it to everyone here. We'll wait.

>I just want to be special to someone for fucks sake.
if you feel powerless, if you can't tell yourself to stop fucking yourself at least for a bit

you will never be special to anyone and you will never fuck anyone else

these are how the cards are, play the game properly or quit

you've spent enough time today fucking yourself, if you don't start to spend an equal amount of time stopping yourself nothing i said today, none of the care i have for some online stranger fuck who hates himself, will ever matter

stop posting here, get back to work, when you get home do anything other than fuck yourself

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What do you do when you are just really bored of life, dont find anything interesting and don't want to do anything?

It means you think you're sexy. I bet you're a nice person irl

I’m strong now. You can block me.

All I can really do is distract myself from the reality. I don't like that at all.

You only speak in half truths.

nar·cis·sis·tic
/ˌnärsəˈsistik/
adjective
having an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance.

i cannot show you further empathy or understanding without you repeating points and me emptily repeating myself

you're fucking yourself and you can do more than the self-beliefs that you constantly negatively reinforce

im to blame, i keep on replying

It's still the wrong word, friend

My dad thinks I'm gay, but he hasn't told me it. My mom slipped it out. I'm 24 and never even held a girl's hand. I don't know what he expects from me when I'm an ugly, broke, unwanted fuck.

healthdirect.gov.au/symptoms-of-npd

You both used it wrong. In order to be actually considered a narcissist, you need to be obsessed with both your looks and your life, personality, ect. Otherwise it is just traits at worst.

>want to check phone to see if she replied
>scared of seeing that she actually did
>horrified of her actually saying yes
>wish i never talked to her
>i talked to her first

JUST

LOCK ME UP AND

THROW AWAY THE KEYS MOMMA I JUST KILLED A MAN

WHO HAD THE SAME NAME AS ME

WAS HE ME

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i just asked you a chance, nothing more, nothing less. but you chose to stay with him. he doesn't love, he doesn't care about you. you know it. and you cheated him with me, for three months

now that everything is going serious, you become a bitch, you tell me that i'm a loser, with no future. and then you feel ashamed of yourself, because "user you don't deserve to be treated like this and i feel guilty"

"i was trying to make you leave me for the last two weeks, i can't go on like this, it's starting to consume me and i don't want to lose what i've", this is what you told me

"trust me, i'll never abandon you, i'm not going to disappear, i'm not going away, i'm here to stay", you told me kissing me on the lips

and now i feel like i'm turning into dust, everything is collapsing

>forgot to disable vibrate function
>know i got a message on my phone

GOD HOW EASY IT WOULD BE TO NEVER REPLY, NEVER LOOK AS I DELETE THE MESSAGE

BETTER START ON THIS SECOND BOTTLE

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Thanks for talking to me, user. I really am fucked up and just need to be talked to I guess.

I know this feel. Though in my case I'm more scared of her saying "no". I guess I'd rather just live in this limbo state of not really knowing whether she's interested or not, rather than get things straight, suffer and move on.

You’re better off without them.

I know I didn't use it wrong, because I didn't use it. Narcissistic does mean you're really into your looks, but it also implies the disorder,NPD.

i'm such a loser, because i gave her the opportunity to apologize and get a relief. i should have told her "guess what? fuck you and your guilt, i don't want to see or talk to you ever again"

but i chose to be compassionate

I don’t want you to make the thing for me anymore. I don’t want anything to do with you.

If you are this scared about getting a no, you are going to have major problems in life, pal.

Just what am I supposed to do? It's not that I don't care about you, I can't just appear out of thin air

Why are you doing this?

I do care, it's just that every single time I couldn't get there in time

A NO IS FINE, PAL, A NO MEANS I FAP, I SLEEP, I DONT HAVE TO CARE, I CAN SHITPOST SMUG ANIME GIRL FACES, DO WHATEVER I WANT BECAUSE I FAILED AND I CAN LET GO AND WORRY ABOUT RAISING MY KDR IN RS2 AS I BE A SHIT PLAYER AND IGNORE OBJECTIVES TO CHASE KILLS.

A YES MEANS FURTHER ANXIETY, PLANNING, WORRYING ABOUT DATES, REAL LIFE, GROWING UP, CATCHING UP ON DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES. WORRYING. SCARY.

IF YOU CANT TELL I ALREADY HAVE MAJOR PROBLEMS AHA

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Why’d you have me buy that for you to make if you don’t like me or want to talk to me? You got my hopes up again.

Jeg er glad i deg

youtu.be/WjmtlJviKJc

I wish I could see you...

I wish I knew you're okay...

I wish I didn't care so much. Why do I care so much? How long until you stop appearing in my dreams? How long until I stop wondering?

I'm so lonely and horny that I take opportunities to post online talking about my dick and balls because it offers some small shred of sexual power

Please stop screaming. Ignoring you until you are able to communicate like an adult.

JC you can tell school is out for summer

Can relate, unfortunately.

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