23 yo male with 23 yo gf

looks like it's heading that way

This is good bait.

What's your sex life like? If you aren't fucking her or she is not open to being intimate chances are she is already cheating. She is hurting you and disrespecting you.

You should break up with her. For the love of your dignity, fucking leave. You are young yet, let your heart get broken and get the fuck out. You are kidding yourself if you think she isn't beyond cheating just because you've known her so long.

Get out now. You can find another woman to love you.

If I were you i’d Have a talk about ending the relationship. She’s doing this half- dating thing because she’s trying to gauge whether or not he’s “better” than you. She might decide she likes you more and end up cutting him off, but even so the very fact that she’s trying to do this is disrespectful of the commitment that you’re supposed to have with each other. She’s covering her own interests and emotions with no consideration of yours.

My first inclination would be to give her an ultimatum, but I don’t think that would work because she’d Probably just resent you if she chose you.

If you break up with her it’s just speeding up the inevitable and taking back the power. Either she realizes this guy is shit and tries crawling back with renewed commitment, or she decides she likes him better and you actually stay broken up.
Don’t let her disrespect you in the meantime. If you let her do this double dating thing she will do it again in the future. This is not what a relationship commitment is supposed to be.

its average, i've always thought that too actually.
im not doubting i will find another woman, this girl is my bestfriend too and its conflicting. but fuck staying around to get hurt again

>If you let her do this double dating thing she will do it again in the future
this is pretty much the conclusion i keep coming to. if i stick around and then get burned again its gonna be a fuckload harder the second time, right?

Yeah :(

I know you love her so don’t just dump and ditch. Tell her you need to have a serious convo and tell her that you think it would be best to end the relationship because you don’t think she’s being respectful of the commitment you’re supposed to have. She can’t be half dating you and half dating this guy to compare you.

If she has a legit breakdown and seems to sincerely promise never to do it again or like promises to block the guy then I think it’s ok to give her another chance, but make sure she knows that if this happens again in the future it’s over.

If she just seems sad but doesn’t want to eliminate her relationship with the guy, or like begrudgingly acts like she’ll cut it off even though she doesn’t think she should have to, then just go ahead and end it. If she resents you over it then it’s ruined anyways.

Better to rip off the bandaid and take the power back. That way if you do decide to accept her back one day, you hold the power. And if you don’t get back together with her then atleast you didn’t waste more time than has already been spent.

well said, thanks for the advice brother

>>starts to develop feelings for another teacher
>>starts hanging out with him all the time (his place after school)
>>she tells me shes considering breaking up with me about a week ago, says she cant do it cause she loves me too much and doesnt what to make a decision she might regret
>>says shes growing as a person and her views are changing
>>tells me she needs time and space to think about things
>>hangs out with him constantly while ignoring me, they do everything together now

Have you seen the chad vs stable beta bux meme around here?
Right now you are the betabux, dont allow this to continue she does not love you she has told you so already
Leave while you are not haunted by a government contract.

>says she cant do it cause she loves me too much
how does someone just lie so bluntly to someone they've been with for 4 years?
you should really look back at your relationship and realize that the person you're with isn't actually who she say she is.

i haven't, but i can picture it lol
no one wants to be the betabux
guess i have no choice

we were really good friends before we went out, she might've meant it as person to person but not gf to bf.
i have been looking back and i think you're correct

Literally just start packing up your shit and fucking bounce without saying a word.

You be a fucking MAN & beat that guy to a living pulp.

Virgin vs chad*

How have you not broken up with her yet? C'mon you colossal faggot. She's clearly moved past you, so take the initiative and end the relationship. Read a bunch of times, then take back the power and end this bullshit. The longer you wait the worse it'll be. Don't be the beta that doesn't break up with a girl that does this, she'll just do it again because she knows she can get away with it.

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OP is dumb as fuck. You're an hour late and a dollar short. Go back in time a few months and break up with her you hopeless fuck

Another option which may be better, given you seem more of a placid person than a gung-ho type, is do nothing.

She is looking for an out that will leave her blameless; she wants you to break up with her so that she can both (a) not have to feel bad about essentially cheating on you, and (b) not feel bad about pursuing this other guy.

Do nothing. Keep dating her and don't give her any reason to break up with you. Don't delude yourself into thinking that you're dating, because you're not. You're already broken up and you should know and accept that right now - just don't play her game by breaking up with her. Don't give her that out. Wait until she either breaks up with you or she admits to cheating on you and then you act as if she has done you a favour and walk off.

That is, of course, if you want to twist the knife. Otherwise the pragmatic option is just to break up with her and everyone can stop engaging in whatever charade your relationship has become.

OP is to weak to endure this.

Been there exactly three years ago. If she hasn't cheated already she absolutely will. If I were there again I'd break up on the spot and spare me her lies and manipulation. But you are you and have to make your own mistakes. Just mark my words, she's "trying him out" and keeping you around for the case it would fail. At this point she's moved on and you're her backup plan. You're in for a world of pain and it will take a year or two for you to recover.

sorry, dude

Let it go. Start finding a new girlfriend NOW
She's a pussy, she won't tell you straight forward that she has fallen for the other guy.

up@correct
may be right
Start looking for someone else(for sure) but don't break up with her.

Ditch the bitch

This is wrong. Even if you think you love her you have to take off those rose tinted glasses and ditch the god damn slut
From what you wrote it seems she has no respect for you

this, ditch the ungrateful bitch op

I only say to have a dialogue because lasting relationships are composed of people who can figure tough shit out and work on it and fix it. No relationship is without obstacles. Very few relationships last 70+ years without one partner’s focus straying, without serious disagreements on crucial matters, without misprioritization, without disappointment, etc.

Respect, communication, and problem solving are the most important things in a relationship in my opinion. Trust and expectations will be broken and challenged, but if you want a lasting commitment and a lasting relationship, you need to be willing to work through hard times AS LONG AS YOUR PARTNER IS JUST AS WILLING.

Having a dialogue will not only give you closure, her reaction should make you more confident in your decision to either break up or give her another chance.

I’ll be honest OP it sounds like she doesn’t really give a shit and I doubt that she will even be broken up about it. But if she really does beg forgiveness and her ACTIONS back up a sudden new found desire for commitment, then try to put this all behind you. Maybe she was being selfish because of immaturity. Some people grow past that and some people stay immature their whole lives. It’s hard to tell. You have to make the judgement for yourself, but approach it with the solid intent to end the relationship. Try to get over your feelings for her. You’ll convince yourself she’s changed if you don’t, and you’ll hurt yourself. Make her earn your love back, and if she doesn’t want to, move on.

>his place
red flag
>never has any time for me anymore
red flag
>she needs time and space to think about things
Bullshit
>hangs out with him constantly while ignoring me, they do everything together now
Bro, how are you still together
>says they even talked about going overseas together (wtf its been a month)
Is this bait?

I'm 23 myself and have been with my gf for almost four years now, so we're in a similar point in our lives. I know it's hard to break up with someone you love and move on and evidently so does she. I think she still likes you and can't bring herself to break up so she's giving you a million opportunities to do it. It might just be less painful for her and she would rather you took the step.
>lets say hypothetically she's not, what now?
Does it matter? She's treating you like shit and she's obviously more interested in another guy. Emotional cheating is a thing if you ask me. Break up and tell her that she's really fucking spineless for not having the balls to be honest with someone she's been together with for so long

>going out for five years
>Not married
>No kids
Imagine my shock that she leaves

Marriage sure prevents roastie from cheating

Are wrong.

Is the answer. Pic extremely related

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You misunderstand. Either he, she, or both of them aren't jazzed by the idea of the most official of statements of monogamy. She also hasn't pestered him for children. This all together means she has always had one foot out the door.

She wants you to break up with her so it won't be her that officially broke it off
Of course she's already banging the other guy

Break up with her or do you want to be in a cuck relationship?
I rather have no company instead of bad company.

Life goes on and you need to move on.