Is it possible that there is a quality that makes someone more likely to get sexually assaulted or raped? I am pretty naive and trusting as a person and that certainly has contributed to the circumstances i’ve found myself in, but it’s hard to believe that that alone is what makes the difference. I have been raped by 4 different people in 4 completely different circumstances in the past 5 years. I literally don’t think I can mentally handle the rate it’s been occurring. I’ve tried to learn from some of the circumstances and tried avoiding certain things that I thought were at fault but rape keeps happening even when I stop putting myself in circumstances that I had thought led to it. It’s really fucking me up.
Any thoughts on this? What are some factors that could be contributing to this? I’m happy to try to provide relevant details about what i’m like if it would be helpful?
If you go home with men and give them the idea that you want to have sex but then later change your mind, the chance that they will try something increases a lot yes.
If you want to be safe. Stay at home. Do not date. Watch porn or whatever instead of having one night stands.
Logan Robinson
Never had a one night stand and i’ve Been on literally 2 dates in my life, never going to their homes
Carson Wood
op, no one would ever believe that you have been raped. Rape is an extremely traumatic experience and no one, especially victims would talk about it like you did right now.
Landon Carter
I believe you were raped
But I don't really care lol
David Rogers
So how did you manage to get raped? You like getting drunk at parties with many black guys?
Hudson Parker
That’s really vague. You should explain the four situations that you were in, so we can figure out what you’re doing wrong if anything
Brody Brown
Well, after the first one it kinda fucks you up for good. Especially if happened young. It distorts your view of yourself, your surroundings, and your company. It's kinda similar to people who keep in relationships with people who physically abuse them. Usually their self worth has been drained, so they continue to seek validation from the exact groups that wronged them. I was assaulted at 8 years old, it took me a long time, well into my 20's, until I realized all my obsession with being validated as a romantic partner, to the point where I'd rather be in an abusive relationship than no relationship at all, all stemmed from that incident as a child. I was made to believe I was tainted and dirtied, that nobody would want me, so I desperately sought out anything to prove that wrong, even if it put me in danger
I hope you're seeking therapy, because if not that is absolutely the first thing you need to do. You might avoid bars, drinking, smoking, any activity that might take away from your senses. If you have anyone you can trust, like a family member or best friend, keep them around with you when you go out whenever possible. If you have to be by yourself, ask if you can call them and stay on the phone with them until you reach your destination. Sounds like your situations tend to be misjudgement in character and ignorance to redflags, so I suggest you begin that discussion with a therapist. Until then, have healthy doubt about any new person you meet. Do not agree to hang out solo with a person until you've been hanging out with them regularly for at least 6 months to a year. Never go home with someone, or anywhere private. Always meet in broad daylight in populated areas.
Also put dating on the backburner until you work out everything you need to with your therapist. They have much more experience and knowledge on how you should handle this than any faggot on a chinese image board. Basically, get a licensed therapist and ask them this same question.
Kayden Peterson
whats wrong is claiming she is raped 5 times and acting like its like being catcalled.
Charles Myers
I’m literally growing apathetic to it. The first 3 times happens right next to each other and it destroyed me (I tried to commit seppuku, couldn’t eat or sleep, dropped out of school for a year, had a religious crisis, you name it.)
This most recent time was a brief encounter and it was shitty and I couldn’t eat for like a couple days but I’ve realized that the best way for me to cope with it is to not assign it importance. I think the coping mechanisms I developed over months of EMDR and therapy helped me get over this recent thing more easily.
Nicholas Phillips
Yeah, I'm really calling doubt on this too, but a victim might talk like this on an anonymous place like this. But I would think it would take someone who's had more of a grip on their experience and is starting to come to terms with it to talk like this perhaps during a momentary lapse in treatment.
I had a moment similar, after I spent a good year or so at peace with what happened to me I got bad medical news that ripped open those old wounds. I cried for a long time about "what did I do to deserve this, why did this happen, what could I have done differently, how unfair it was, etc" even though I still knew deep down from my prior "coming to terms" none of it was my fault, there's nothing that could have been done, it happened and it is what it is. I have to continue with acceptance that it happened and that will never change.
Charles Reyes
Ok sure. I’m going to break it up:
1: >boyfriend of 3 years throughout HS >retrospectively an emotionally abusive relationship, isolated me from my family and friends. Criticism, control, manic, obsessive. >this is my first relationship so I think it’s normal >we graduate and go to same college >living far apart, I make some new friends >he gets upset, becomes physically abusive and starts raping me regularly > I feel trapped but gain the confidence to end it with support of new college friends and uni relationship services. > still obsessive and stalkerish after breakup, don’t feel safe but don’t have any further issues with him.
2: >a week after breakup with ex >sleeping at night, big test the next morning so I ask my best friend to wake me up at 7am so I don’t sleep through it > he’s done this 2x before and I’ve done it for him before >leave the door unlocked for him to be able to wake me in the morning >he comes in to my room in the middle of the night and rapes me >he feels bad about it after and cries and I comfort him like a fucking idiot. >tells me he couldn’t control himself and loves me. >he tries to commit suicide and stabs himself with a knife and shit. >concerned for his life so I try to forgive the rape thing and don’t tell anyone.
Christian Reyes
>tried to commit seppuku you might have not seen this post above yet but this tells me that this user is treating like a joke. This sounds like to me like an user is baiting for a fight while pretending to be a victim. No one in their right mind would come here and ask "why does my rapes keep happening?" This user is probably bored, but whats worse is that he is using the worst way to get attention.
Cameron Butler
you've got a lot of trauma to work through
And yes, if you really want to know, the reason your keep getting raped is because you're so naive and trusting, and you constantly put yourself in social situations where you make yourself available to those types of people, and you constantly gravitate towards them.
That's why you get raped. Not because you're physically rapable, but because you just can't grasp that you're making yourself too available to people. Even when you're in a relationship.
William Perry
Continued
3 (this one was when I hit rock bottom): > Emotionally fucked due to recent BS with breaking up with BF and best friend betraying me >A guy I have hung out with in a group twice before invites me as a date to one of his frat functions. >accept, I want to drink and forget about being an emotional wreck. >let him make my drink for me like a dumbass. > 1 drink in, get blackout drunk. >random flashes of crying, screaming, and him telling me to shut up. Painful shoving into my throat, ass, and vagina. > I come to at like 5 am and have like 30 missed calls from a friend who I told to expect me back at home by midnight. >start going back to my dorm, arrive and there are cops everywhere searching for me. >they already interrogated the guy, begging me to press charges on him and talking about all the evidence they found and how I look beat up etc >force me to go to the hospital and do a rape kit > the hospital staff keeps me there in the mental ward for a fucking week, not even letting me shower, because they think I’ll off myself bc of all the random crap that happened the last few months.
-then they told my parents and I had to drop out of school for a year and go to therapy for a longass time and rebuild my whole life, which took a few years. Then, last week...
4: >visiting my current boyfriend of 3 yrs who lives across the country >we go to his friend’s house, we drink >Friend’s house has a jacuzzi, we all get in >my BF wants to swing a threesome with another girl so he encourages me to make out with this chick who i just met (she and I were both down) >making out with her, and I suddenly feel someone grab me and stick something inside me >think it’s my boyfriend at first but I look over and see him talking to his friend >look back and it’s some dude I literally just met >literally shocked that some random dude is trying to fuck me in front of my bf > push him away and leave the hot tub. >confused af
Leo Nguyen
I struggle emotionally with this all the time but right now the way that i’m Coping with it is by not taking it seriously. If I go on Jow Forums, a site notorious for edgy comments, and SERIOUSLY pour my emotions out I am just asking for some asshole to rub salt in my wounds.
I promise you i’m not lying. And I actually do want to know why this keeps happening. This doesn’t happen to other people at the same frequency that it’s happened to me, which makes me think it’s my fault and that more importantly, it’s something I have control over
If I wanted attention i’d post about it on my actual social media, and not on an anonymous forum. I want actual advice, which I know I won’t get anywhere that isn’t anonymous.
Camden Evans
Also it doesn't help that you hang around those types of people, you seem like a very kinky/left leaning person and you have absolutely no values
The fact you had a religious crisis tells me you probably don't have much faith in god for one reason or another, and that also doesn't help
You have really fucked up morals, and it probably stems from lacking a strong authority early in your life, perhaps literal daddy issues
Robert Walker
Because what happened to you isnt rape. You think it is but NO ONE goes through 5 rapes. NO ONE!
Christian Bailey
she doesnt seem to understand what rape actually and just had sex when she wasnt in the mood.
Robert Adams
I dunno, your situations look very avoidable. You made terrible decisions and hindsight IS 20/20, but like so many girls date shitty abusive guys and men are very tired of telling you 'if it's too good to be true-- it's not true'.
Isaac Johnson
I’m sorry to hear that you went through that, user. This shit fucked me up too. I feel like I have mostly recovered from it but this most recent time kind of opened up old wounds that I thought were closed, and made me fear for my future.
I will try to avoid alcohol, since 2 of my experiences involved that. It deff makes me more of a target. I’m surprised I don’t have trust issues considering that the people I trust most have usually been there and either hurt me or not protected me. I don’t want to develop trust issues, but maybe I should be more skeptical? I just wish I could feel safe around my best friends and partner.
I do think i’m Bad at judging character, or at least at judging situations. How can I work on that? Trying to be more skeptical?
I don’t know if I need a therapist. I definitely did at one point but I am doing ok now. I’m actually better mentally adjusted than most people I know. I just don’t want to continue to have these types of experiences, because they’re really the only thing that make me depressed
Leo Ward
you judge character based on experience.
Not by being more skeptical, by treating everyone equally and putting everyone through an equal test of your trust.
Not hard.
Julian Jones
You’re not correct actually. I’m very conservative. I’ve never willingly had sex with someone I wasn’t in a committed relationship with, I would never have an abortion, I identify with right-leaning policies. The one exception is that, after my boyfriend’s prodding to have a threesome, I began sexologist my sexual interest in girls.
I’ve actually been told that I have pretty strong moral character.
Aaron Green
interesting.
Most of the girls that usually fall to this shit are lefties, and I was actually using my ex as a reference.
I'm surprised, but my prior points stand. You put yourself in bad situations and make bad judgement calls
You don't take precautions and that's also a problem.
Cooper Wilson
Exploring* Oh, and I am religious (Christian). By religious crisis I mean I became much MORE religious than I had been.
I screamed no, stop, and cried during the first 3, and immediately shoved off the guy who randomly came over and inserted himself into me without asking or making any kind of prior indication that he was interested. I didn’t instigate any of those situations at all. I mean you saw the descriptions so if you don’t wanna call that rape then fine but they definitely were according to the law
Nathan Rivera
yeah and according to the law with those scenarios sounds like you took someone elses experiences and decide to see how far you could get with telling us this bullshit. No one would go through one rape and still continue to go on only to get raped 4 more times. Someone who went through it wpuld have been extremely cautious just after it happening once, You seem to think that I am dumb enough to believe your copy paste stories. What is wrong with you?
Logan Peterson
No yeah I was definitely a fucking idiot- but my issue is that people act like fucking idiots all the time. Why does it result in rape for me? Like, there was 4 other girls in that hot tub. Why was I the only one that had a random dick shoved into me? I hadn’t even looked at that guy all night, and he KNEW that my boyfriend was a few feet away. If he was horny, Why not make a move on one of the other girls, who were all single? I literally just don’t understand it.
I want to learn to try to be smarter and avoid this in the future but i’m Sure there will be times that I do dumb stuff because no one is perfect. Part of me being trusting is being dumb. Like sure I probably shouldn’t have left my door unlocked for my best friend that one time, but I didn’t know he was going to come in and rape me. That was literally so far out of the realm of possibility in my mind that it didn’t even raise a flag for me.
Christian Ramirez
Replace dating with porn sounds like a great option after what I read here. Also I MOTHERFUCKING HATE when people use this “trust issues” term. Trust has nothing to do with actual safety, people have absolutely legit right to suspect the shit out of you.
Benjamin Kelly
you make friends with those types.
That's why it happened
Leo Sullivan
all but one can be avoided, but you didnt because you are a fucking whore well deserved
David Walker
Ok, can you go into detail a little more about that? Like, tangibly- i’ve Been betrayed by someone who had earned my trust (see rape number 2). He and I were literally best friends. He never made any type of “move” on me, we were in the same friend group and we all just goofed off every day together. He was the first person I opened up to about my abusive relationship, and he is the one who majorly helped connect me with the counseling process for the shit I went through with my ex. He is someone who earned my trust. I wouldn’t have told just any friend that my room was unlocked and to please wake me for my test at 7am. I did so because he had done it in the past and I had done it for him so I didn’t sense an associate risk.
Even if u do as you say by putting everyone through an equal test of my trust, what do I do for people who earned my trust but still betray me?
Zachary Carter
if someone betrays you, the fuck do you expect? That they won't betray you again?
As someone guilty of doing this, I know that even if I feel bad about it I'll still be prone of doing it because I know you'll let me get away with it.
The moral of the story is that if there's someone who tries waaaaaay too hard to earn your trust fast and gets close to you in that way, their intentions *probably* aren't sincere.
The guy you talked about probably is/was a good guy, but he was tainted by temptation, perhaps because he expected for his efforts to earn his way into having sex with you. You have to realize that there is no such thing as a good guy with pure intentions that will bend over backwards for you for nothing in return.
Doesn't exist.
That's why this shit happens.
You idealize people in your head and see them as gods when in reality there are deep seated desires that need to be met in some way.
Julian Bell
I think lefties are maybe just more vocal about it. Part of the reason I haven’t said anything publicly about it in real life or pressed charges is because I don’t want to be associated with that demographic.
I don’t hate men and i’m not angry. Just sad and I want it to stop happening.
That’s the thing- I know these things come from me putting myself in “bad situations”, but most of the time I DONT put myself in bad positions. I can count the number of times i’ve Been drunk on one hand. I literally don’t go on dates with people, never used any kind of dating app to meet people, never have causal sex. Sure i’ve done some stupid shit but I look around and see people getting drunk every night, meeting up with randos that they don’t even know all alone, etc - how are those people not getting raped more often? I feel like there has to be another factor? Is it just bad luck?
What is “those types”? The people that have done this to me aren’t all alike. That last one wasn’t even a friend, my Bf literally introduced me to him that night. How do I have control over situations like that, where the one who poses the threat is some random friend’s friend who happens to be there?
Dude just leave my thread you clearly didn’t even read what I wrote because you keep saying I got raped 5 times when I only got raped 4 times
Bentley Wright
Yeah, thank kinda seems true. I deff lost my trust for this guy after he raped me but like prior I did kind of idealize him. He was one of those super straight edge Christian boys who like volunteers all the time and reads scripture for fun and seemed genuinely nice. Like he did random favors for everyone in our hall without expecting anything in return. I think you’re right that he probably got it jumbled in his head and maybe felt like I owed him for “saving” me or something. Idk man... it’s tough. I just trusted him at face value. We were friends for like a good year pretty much, idk.
Yeah I guess I need to just adjust my mindset some. I just think everyone has neutral intentions, and if I trust them then I assume they have good intentions. I need to be more aware that some people have bad/selfish intentions.
Xavier Flores
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
I respect you for having morals, and I respect that you're very conservative as it's not common to find in a girl these days, but you still have to understand, if you're dating a guy his views have to align with yours. It spells trouble if you date some dumb asshole with no political direction or sense of his own morality.
John Rogers
>I got raped 5 times when I only got raped 4 times you obviously didnt read mine, I said getting raped once and then another 4 times, 1+4=5, its obvious you are an esl but worse you are just lying for attention. No one would be upset just by someone getting the number of rapes wrong even though I didnt get it wrong you lying scumbag.
James Anderson
Friend, I ONLY GOT RAPED 4 TIMES!!! I NEVER SAID I GOT RAPED 5 TIMES. You have the reading comprehension skills of a peanut.
4, NOT 5
Thomas Thompson
and you are lying about all of them.
Isaiah Fisher
I’m 23. My boyfriend is even more right-leaning than me. He just wants to have a threesome for some reason, and desu i’d Be down as long as it’s just another girl and everything is consensual and communicated clearly. That’s the only “morally non-conservative” thing about our relationship though.
Idk why he didn’t beat the shit out of that guy because he seemed like he wanted to. I kinda wish he had. We left right after that. I feel bad because he’s been beating himself up for not protecting me more. I don’t blame him because ultimately I need to be able to defend myself if he isn’t there. He said he’s going to be a lot more protective of me from now on so I hope that helps.
Leo Harris
Why can't you just entertain her even if she is lying, she doesn't gain anything...
Austin Hernandez
How is this still happening to you? How in the world are you not armed yet? How is it you don't own a guard dog? And how the everloving fuck do you still get into these situations? Why would you still get drunk and make yourself vulnerable around people you don't know well. It's not like I'm blaming you but shit everything could have been avoided. Learn to fight, get a gun / knive / pepperspray whatever your comfortable with. Also stop drinking alcohol it's clearly not doing you any favors. And learn to not trust fucking retards
Jeremiah Allen
Just ignore him he’s clearly an idiot
Adrian Gutierrez
I would totally beat the shit out of the guy. Beat him into a pulp, I would.
Tell him to grow some balls and learn to fuck shit up
Henry Brooks
because its not something any one should lie about. This kind of behavior os what creates false rape cases and ignores the real victims.
Luke Perry
No dude you are good this is the advice I need. What weapon do you suggest? The reason I haven’t armed myself is because I am a pussy and I don’t want to hurt anyone but by this point I don’t care anymore like I will fuck the next dude who tries something up.
I cant have a gun on campus so that is out. A knife could work. or Some type of martial art self defense thing. Any suggestions? I have no experience fighting.
Bentley Edwards
define rape
Oliver Campbell
Dude if you’re going to be an asshole please don’t play that holier than thou shit ok? What do you want as proof that I got raped? Should I mail you a copy of my fucking rape kit? I can explain in detail what that process was like? I can show you medical records? I can show you the knife wound from when my best friend that raped me stabbed him self in the side?
Fucked up shit happens dude. I know it’s fucking hard to believe- how do you think it is living through it??
Chase Richardson
They already did
Jacob Hall
Yeah idk I think he was stunned. Everyone was stunned. I was stunned. I wish someone would have done something aggressive to him but they all just stood there like surprised statues and then asked if I was ok after
Lincoln Walker
not the amount of fucking times you seem to claim. This isnt about being holier than thou, its mainly out of anger that you would make fake fucking stories for attention. Rape is fucking serious, not something you can make up, this isnt a fantasy novel or someshow, this you being an asshole making shit up for attention pretending to be a victim and while actual victims cant even talk about it because of fakers like you! You are the fucking problem, rape isnt a fucking white lie, its something that is a real issue and you playing pretend is disgusting.
Justin Hall
God I can’t tell if you’re trolling me or not. I know it’s not something to lie about. Nothing pisses me off more than people that use their “rape stories”, many of which could be fabricated, for attention/money/sympathy. I don’t want people I know irl to think i’m of those people because even though this shit sounds hard to believe, IT LITERALLY HAPPENED TO ME. That is why I came here, to this anonymous messaging board for advice.
Can you please take just a single moment to stretch your brain and think: “what IF this person is somehow telling the truth? What type of impact am I having on this person who is ALREADY so hesitant to come forward about her experience that she has to resort to getting advice from Jow Forums?”
If you keep vehemently asserting that i’m lying without telling me how I can prove to you that it actually happened, then i’m going to dismiss you as a troll and ignore you. You’re literally acting like the worst “advocate” for rape victims ever.
Isaac Evans
Because its obvious you are making this shit up. You dont even hide it. You are doing this because you are bored and people can tell you are lying. what I dont get is what do you actually get out of this? People feeling sorry for you, calling you an idiot? No one who has been raped goes on Jow Forums of all places and talks about the most vulnerable times in their lives and say "eh, I'm apathetic to it now" No, you are pathetic.
Dominic Lewis
What I'm wondering is if you're attractive.
Adrian Gutierrez
Dude, people cope with trauma in different ways. Heard of people laughing at funerals? Walking away from car accidents like it didn’t happen? I’m making light of my trauma because it’s literally too much for me to take seriously.
Here’s a screenshot of an email that I sent to one of the deans at my university in relation to rape number 3. It’s timestamped and everything
then where is the police report? anyone can change date on their phone and screen cap it. I mean >Hi Brian! what the flying fuck?
Easton Morris
I made a police report, but didn’t press charges. is there a way for me to look that up publicly?
Mason Perez
they give you a copy when you make a report. Just stop for christs sakes. You know what I am leaving. I cant understand people like you who would use peoples actual pain just for attention.
Christopher Morgan
Sorry to put it in this way, i know nothing about rape or being raped nor hot tubes or whatever, but you were in a place with naked people, making out with another girl you just met and about to fuck with her and your boyfriend right there, kind of what happenede is expected if the point of the place is to fuck freely. So if this is right, you are the one putting yourself constantly in danger for this, also, how are you phisically? If you look submissive and childish, and have a sexy body, that might be the other 50% of reason why this happens
Jackson Martin
What, like an email or physically? If they gave me a physical copy I sure as hell didn’t keep it. I was still drunk and being wheeled to the hospital for my rape kit, and I had to answer a million questions. You think I have any idea what was going on? If it’s in email form or if I can look it up online i’ll Show it as proof.
Sure, leave now that i’m Bringing proof. Fuck you dude, thank god your retarded ass is finally leaving my thread
I mean, we weren’t actually naked we had bathing suits on. And me and the girl were just kissing and my boyfriend was not making any moves on her. Basically she and I were then only ones doing anything and then this guy randomly stuck his cock into me. You’re right that it was dumb af for me to like be kissing this girl in the hot tub because it was probably arousing the guys there in retrospect. I just didn’t think anyone would like randomly insert themselves. I also felt unjustifiably safe since my boyfriend was there but clearly that didn’t have much of an effect on the situation.
I dunno. I mean I think I look attractive but most girls probably think they’re attractive.
Jordan Lee
Define attractive
Anthony Martinez
Is it okay if I ask why you didn't press charges?
Jackson Foster
Nice ass, curvy, short, nice lips, attractive haircut and beautiful eyes, that sort of thing.
Jeremiah Reyes
Whoops, thought you were responding to my earlier question, ignore that.
Justin Perez
If it helps, im a very possesive guy, and all my life was attracted to childish girls who needed a father-like boyfriend, (just as described before, petite, big eyes, etc) im living with my gf of one year. Now i really like to be very possesive in the bed, but i always ask her if shes ok with doing this or that, if it hurts etc. Im the most chill guy that youll know, even more high and drunk, but with her, i just look at her body and i cant think of other than fucking rough, once went we were back from a party, we got so horny that i anally raped her in the stairs of our apartment, she didnt say nothing, but i know she felt uncomfortable and i that just turn me on so much, now i feel kind of bad for it, but i couldnt help myself, she looked so fragile and i loved that Shes like that also
Cooper Rivera
Well I think my most attractive features are that I’m skinny, I have long hair to my lower back and i’ve never dyed it so it’s very healthy and soft. I have straight white teeth, C cups, i’m 5’7”, I have pretty nice looking facial features. Nothing out of proportion.
In regards to things I think are unattractive about myself: My lips could be plumper and my chin could be smaller.
So, I dunno. I think most people that meet me think of me as attractive. I get a fair amount of compliments about my looks and people apparently tell my boyfriend that they think i’m attractive.
So I dunno it’s hard to tell. I’m probably average-pretty, but i’m certainly no model.
Yeah, it’s two reasons: 1) I didn’t want to go through the legal proceedings of it all at the time. It was quite literally the lowest point in my existence. I really could barely function day to day, and the stress of an actual court situation was daunting. I had more than enough physical evidence to press charges according to the hospital and police. They were really pissed at me for not taking legal action. I feel really guilty about it now remembering some of the stuff they told me like “what if he raped someone else?” But at the time I didn’t care because I wanted to die. 2) I didn’t want to ruin his life. This is such a dumb, dumb thing. My friend who reported me missing hammers me all the time for how dumb this is; I would literally feel guilty if he were in jail. I’ve seen pictures of his family who love him on facebook. Pictures of him with his dogs, with his friends, going to sporting events, etc. I think “I just shouldn’t have gotten drunk” or “it was just that’s one night, I can get over it”. I basically would feel bad about ruining his whole existence over “one bad thing that he did”.
That’s a naive opinion bc he’ll probably go on to hurt people one day. But it’s hard for me to overcome
Jayden Allen
Hmm, ok that is a bit helpful. I have gotten described as “delicate” looking relatively often. Maybe that’s similar to “fragile” in provoking some men?
Jack Brooks
user im really enjoying talking with you, but you sound kind of fishy, could you post a timestamp to prove its you? Not nsfw
Brody Barnes
They didn't post a picture of themselves before with or without a timestamp, you just want a picture of them.
Wyatt Martin
I’m sorry but i’ve put way way to much personal info in this thread to risk being doxxed by posting a face picture. It’s ok if you don’t believe me, not worth the risk on my part. Sorry
Lincoln Allen
Well fuck it ill bite for the sake of entertainmet and yes i want to see you because you sound like the type of girl im into but whatever. You should try to develop a self defense mechanism, throw punches, yell, something, and also try to get away from the people you seem to love hanging with, theyre the reason why this happens to you, since not a single rape has happened in the streets
Nolan Robinson
Find something that you're interested in that develops your psyque, yoga, reading, something calm, and recognise predatory people and get the fuck away from them, even if that means beign rude
Tyler Scott
Those kind of people will not leave until you attack them and show that you dont have fear/doubt of ridiculyze or harm them
Parker Wood
Easy.
No sex or sexual contact or innuendos with random or even potential bfs.
Sex is reserved for 6 mo - 1 year of bf/gf. Yes it will be tough but honestly its the only way.
Also helps if you dress baggier, but that's up to you. Wearting a slut uniform will make u suceptible for rape and slut like behaviour
Asher Bailey
I can’t take you seriously with all the weeb/trolly shit you toss in like casual vernacular. But on the off chance you’re the real deal, failing to report rapes isn’t just hurting you but other women who could become victims to these same criminals. If the embarrassment is too much for you to help stop future rapes, then there’s nothing I can say besides getting a gun and be ready to kill to protect yourself. What happens when someone with aids rapes you? It’s not like all rapists are autistic betas who don’t know how to attract women ,the guy who stabbed himself sounds like a really manipulative sociopath.
Can you even have a normal relationship now? After all the ptsd rape causes? That’s the stuff that gets me, it ruins people’s lives well beyond the crime itself.
Joshua Watson
Sorry to tell you that but if it happens that often it's most likely that you are "at fault" you are the only common occurence between all those event
My guess is you just surround yourself with bad people. Try and learn how to read people better
Dylan Cooper
>Abusive boyfriend Okay you looked for the wrong guy >Ask guy to wake you up in your sleep Wha... I mean he's a guy what do you think is gonna... you can't expect... >Guy invites you to a frat function after becoming emotional vulnerable >Frat function >frat Um... >Randomly make out with girl you just met, guy randomly has sex with you ...stop
Robert Martin
So we can't ask a guy to wake us up because he will rape us? How is that our fault at all.
Adam Hall
I mean you go to a jacuzzi thing with friend then inside the jacuzzi you make out with a lesbian all of a sudden in the jacuzzi
Right first of all, that's kind of rude to everyone else at the party unless you want a goddamn bisexual foursome. Second of all, like I'm sorry for the abuse but it does quite clearly seem like if you getting raped is your car getting stolen, you need to stop parking your car in dingy back alleys.
Frankly, I don't think society ever acknowledges this, but the fact of the matter is that as far as I can tell, all men can be rapists just like all people can be thieves. I don't buy this shit about men raping (only) for control. It make sad to recommend someone be a little more street smart with men, but it seems like you need to be.
I mean I don't fucking know, but those situations seem similar. I feel like you're surrounding yourself with certain types of people or leading them into certain situations or something.
Also, just wanna say its pretty fucked the mental ward didn't let you shower. My god. I'm sorry about that.
Alexander Miller
I'm not blaming you. Maybe I'm looking too hard for a reason because your the common variable, but I will say that is kind of a provocative situation for... I'm not trying to say your asking for it, I'm really not. I just feel like, if there is a reason, maybe inviting people into your home when your vulnerable like that is too trusting? I don't know.
Honestly,when I think about it even though 4 times over a few years is a fairly high rate, its still a low enough number overall that maybe you're just unlucky.
To be honest I'm not sure I should've said anything. If a girl asked me to wake her up every day, I just don't know if I would ever do that or not. So maybe I'm wrong.
Whatever I don't know anything. I'll leave this thread.
But really like the only thing I can think of is too avoid putting yourself in vulnerable situations, but maybe there's really not much you can do. Maybe this is the same as getting hit by a car or experiencing a plane crash. I really don't know and I should not have posted.
Maybe I was after all mildly affected by the modern obscene gender wars we've been having? I'm not really sure. You don't really sound like you're trolling or anything, but understand that can be common here and for me it least, it makes me come into these threads a bit cynical.
I apologize.
Logan Nguyen
Pretty sure it could have been anyone, but it was you. Chance and luck work that way, you aren't special.
Ryan Myers
I am not op. I have not been raped 4 times and my roommate has never raped me when I have asked him to wake me up. I guess it becomes more likely if you give someone the optunity to rape you, but it should never have to be me making sure no body rapes me i should just be able to expect not to get raped.
Jordan Jenkins
Seems like every guy you get with is abusive in one way or another and by being submissive you allow them to do those things.
How do you meet your boyfriends? what kind of people are they? Seems to me like you need to re-calibrate what you want from a guy and what kind of relationship you need. If those guys were easy and you had sex with them that led to a relationship, I would focus on that and see if there is any patterns in how all your relationships started, maybe you need to adjust that.
I'm friends with a lot of guys who would never do anything like that, but I also know a few that I wouldn't be surprised if they raped someone. I think you might have low self esteem and thats why you go for abusive guys, they're easier to be with because nobody else would be or they were but aren't with them anymore because of how abusive they are. Gain some confidence and see what's out there for you, aim higher and look for guys in that area that you befriend first, see if they're alright and if they like you, you can try starting a relationship with them.
Moral of the story is, that if you do something 4 times in a row and it always ends the same way, you should change your approach and look elsewhere.
Mason Peterson
Most likely it's the shitty self-worth image you have, which attracts shitty people who take advantage of it; which in turns makes your self image even worse and attracts more dickheads.
Take more time for you and take a break from dating.
Stop being such brainlets, guys. 90% of rapists are people we know.
That's a very simplistic view on it. As a defence mechanism, people often do trivialise the shit they've been through. I mean, hell, I find my suicide attempts as a kid fucking funny nowadays when you ignore the context and OP isn't even there.
Jose Mitchell
Short answer: people with dicks Long answer: people with dicks like to use said dick as a weapon and should be made to stop or face greater consequences. Like removal of the thing they use as weapon, or death. It's not just you getting raped, and it's not your fault.
Easton Wright
I do think I need to come up with some kind of hobby that reflects that I could kick their ass if they fuck with me. Like some kind of martial art or shooting or something.
I already don’t hook up with people. I don’t hook up with someone unless we’re seriously dating (like atleast 2 months. I guess I can try bumping it to 6 months? I don’t really think that would make a difference though, I dated that one asshole during my first relationship but my current BF and prior BF were gentlemen)
Yeah I know idk I have a good life now I just don’t want to muddle it up again with this shit.
I won’t elaborate on the details but i’ve been winning research awards, leading student clubs, and I graduated at the top of my class. I successfully healed from this shit and rebuilt my life. I don’t want to risk losing it again which is why i’m Concerned about future instances of rape, but as for how I am now, i’m totally fine. I might have random bad days is if something triggers me but otherwise i has just put it behind me. I had clinically diagnosed PTSD and depression. It went away after a year of EMDR
Hunter Perry
Any suggestions for learning to read people better? The four dudes in these situations were totally different, and had different levels of friendliness.
1) retrospectively very obviously controlling and manic. The kind of guy who is an obsessive hypochondriac. 2) very strong values for helping others, religious, seemingly selfless 3) in to sports, “chill” guy, likes to gym and likes animals 4) I don’t even know that dude at all. He looked kind of eccentric I guess? And apparently he was 35? I thought he looked like late 20’s but I learned later that apparently he is 35.
What types of qualities should be “red flags”? I know the obvious stuff now with like with case number 1, I don’t put myself around people who are obviously controlling, manic, obsessive, etc.
Aaron Diaz
I've been through countless traumatic experiences. You grow numb to it. You start to hate the negative feelings and turn it into nothing in your mind, a distant memory, pretend it never even happened. You still feel emotions but get to a point where you can open up a bit even online.
It's always people who have no trauma that think they know what it's like.
Jace Rogers
Hi I am op. There were about 8 people total in the hot tub, they were all drinking and chatting about their own convos and laughing. It wasn’t awkward or anything, and I only started doing it because my boyfriend specifically asked me to. I think he ended up getting distracted in a different convo somehow which is why he wasn’t watching when that other guy came over. It was stupid of me to feel safe, but I just thought that no one would try anything since he was there in the hot tub, and I was the only girl there in a relationship.
Also, what you said there is very valuable. About all men being capable of rape. I don’t know if that is true or not, i’m Sure not ALL men are capable, but you’re right in saying that a very, very large number of otherwise normal men are capable. That’s one of my biggest mistakes. I came into the adult world thinking “only bad guys rape”. It’s not just “bad guys”. It’s guys who are otherwise good. It can be guys who volunteer in their free time. Guys with little sisters. Religious guys or guys with “strong moral character”. It can be close friends, or strangers. That is one of the biggest lessons I learned, and it sucks because it’s not socially acceptable to say it IRL.
Yeah, It was torture. There was nothing to do in there except watch like 3 channels of TV. That was also when my PTSD was the worst so I kept hallucinating that I could hear that frat dude’s voice.
Brandon Robinson
Hey don’t feel bad, your advice was helpful. I don’t think you had replied to me (op) but I appreciate your honest perspective.
Connor Sullivan
Being in a relationship doesn't guarantee that sex is always consensual.
Dominic Jenkins
Like...you let him get all the way in before you decide to check who was cumming a knocking? I don't know about anyone else, but even in a lubed up pussy I still have to ease my way in.
Josiah Jackson
I think you're to trusting of religious people. They have pretty twisted morals. Cognitive dissonance allows them to do evil things while still feeling just
Isaiah Morales
You are an naive airhead. Don't put yourself in sketchy situations. Plan ahead if you want to go out (something you don't need to do) like carrying pepper spray, arming yourself, whatever. Don't carelessly drink with others. Bring a female friend with you at all possible times. Don't let yourself be alone with someone. You have been taken for a fool countless times and you still don't change your behavior. Stop seeking approval from others. Stop thinking that you need a man's approval. Stop being a pussy. Rape is a popular sexual fantasy for women. Do you continue your behavior because you subconsciously desire this? What efforts have you made so far in order to avoid this problem? You cannot control what others do. You can only change your own behavior. Gain more confidence and self-esteem. Grow up and hold yourself accountable.
This is all assuming this post is 100% sincere, but there is no chance in hell it is. I hope you enjoyed your larp. Have a nice day.
Leo Wilson
no body wants to he raped you asshole it is the worst thing that could ever happen to you.
