What do you do with massive, justified guilt that you can't tell anyone about?

What do you do with massive, justified guilt that you can't tell anyone about?

Didn't do anything illegal but it's pretty fucked on an interpersonal level.

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Context is important here and the relevance of the answers you get will depend on that.

You suffer it.
You feel guilty for a reason
Maybe repent? Idk im not religious

1. It's online and negatively affects my friends there
2. No one got physically hurt or had a relationship severed or anything and, as far as I know, no one is going to get into deeper shit.
3. It affects a lot of stuff that only subjectively matters, as in matters to the people it affects, rather than something intrinsically important to people at large. But it really matters to those involved, justifiably so.

Forgive yourself. You are probably building it up in your mind to an insane degree. There is a voice in your head telling you that you are bad, probably a reflection of criticism you heard as a child "you are a bad boy!" etc

It might help to know that I didn't think the consequences would be so severe, but that's definitely from lack of foresight and actual thought, rather than reasonable doubt. It wasn't a mistake though, it was a shitty, mean decision/decisions that spiraled.

Online friendships that don't move into IRL never survive. If you like, deleted your guild in a video game or some shit that is nothing to lose sleep over.

That doesn't get rid of all the stress I made these people feel, this will also have permanent ripple effects.

I think you are probably exaggerating it to yourself out of guilt. It's a mechanism to ensure you do not do it again, but you will get over it eventually. Just know now that the voice of guilt you are hearing is an extreme exaggeration of the truth and you are not actually a terrible person

I can't really expand on why it definitely was/is pretty fucking shitty, but it was, and I think I should feel even worse. If only for what /could've/ very well happened and how devastating that would've been for so many people. Let alone what already happened.
The worst worst case scenario would've made me suicidal, I'd be irredeemable in my eyes, and it'd all be because I had done something shitty without thinking about it.

I don't know if I should forgive myself so easily, but this guilt is eating the hell out of me.

My insides are stewing in black bile and I really feel like dying at the moment. I'll try to give an addition to the overview:
1. Everyone seems to be okay.
2. The damage is bad but not as terrible as it could've been.
3. Again, no one knows,
4. I had a reason for doing this that isn't as mean as I've made out but it's still so fucking regrettable.
Some of these people I know in real life, or knew when I was in college, so it hurts.

faggot either say what it was or stop posting.

I know a few of them use this place.

Cough up or fuck off, we're done with your 16-year-old girl games
Either tell us what happened so we can actually help or just fuck off to Tumblr where platitudes are the first language.

This is Jow Forums. Just give us the truth.

Either spew it out on an anonymous site, actually tell people or a therapist about it, or take it to your death bed. Your choice.

see I'm not trying to string people along, not much I can say about the specifics.

How do you expect for advice when you won't even say what it is you need advice on. It's all your fault.

I'm telling you to fuck off then because we have no advice to give if we have no situation to advise on. Apologize and move on with your atrociously, shamefully trite life.

Some of my friends, myself and a bunch of other people have been working on a freeware RPG project in a forum owned by a larger company (Years have been poured into this). Someone in the group started shit with one of my friends and vice versa, the former had more sway and was friends with the supervisors of the forum. The latter, my friend, pointed out pirated files on the forum in a thread. After this, my friend and the other guy got in a big, unrelated, mess after bumping heads for a long time and my friend ended up getting a lifetime ban from the project. The post about the files was deleted and the other guy commented under where my friend's post was about how great the files were.

I got pissed at this and reported it to the company (supervisors supporting pirated software and tools) and they issued a warning that we had to delete all of the offending software. This meant entire subforums had to be completely cleared to be safe, and it could've meant our project's forum would've had been closed or worse. A lot of people's work was completely eradicated because of this.

The forum is still up and the community is still there and I still want to help code, design maps, work with people and shit but I feel bad for everything we've lost and what could've gone down.

I find posting my problems on the internet anonymously helps. It at least let’s someone know what I’ve done without anyone knowing who I am.

I finally caved in the post above yours, it does feel a bit better.

wait so where exactly were you at fault in all this???

You shove it deep down and get on meds.

Source: did a horrible thing as a kid that I can never tell anyone about

Doesn't sound like something to be crying over. You'll feel better in a few weeks to maybe a month, so no advice necessary.

>A lot of people's work was completely eradicated because of this.
There's back ups of most of it but this set back the project in a pretty huge way and there's years of discussions we're likely never getting back. This also put a lot of stress on everyone working on the project, given that a lot of people are already busy with work, school and life in general.

The hardest person to forgive is yourself OP.

while important, self-forgiveness will not be real without self accountability.

Disruptive guilt is usually a sign your own conscience is telling you that you haven't taken enough responsibility in some fashion.

>not-you chose to introduce pirated files into a project involving multiple people in an official capacity
>not-you chose to allow the files to remain after being made aware of their dubious origin
>not-you somehow took over the willpower of everyone else involved and made them decide to keep working on a compromised project
>not-you chose to give the top-down command to your supervisors telling them to stop being retardeds
>not-you decided against leaving the company open to liability
so yeah i ask again -- what the actual fuck do you feel guilt for doing exactly?