I triggered my gf's eating disorders and I have no fucking idea what to do. I'm not the only reason of course...

I triggered my gf's eating disorders and I have no fucking idea what to do. I'm not the only reason of course, but even if her body is great she wants to get to an unsafe weight due to an ignorant comment I made years ago and for which she almost died last year, miraculously recovering when even the doctors said she wouldn't make it. I've been trying to get her to eat for the past week as she's been relapsing, but she won't eat more than 600-700 calories a day. She said she'd go to a clinic if it got worse, but I'm afraid she said that just to reassure me and won't actually do anything. What the fuck can I do? I already wrote to several clinics begging for help, but so far no one gave a concrete answer

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Basically just add fatty oils, butter, creme and other calorie dense spreads to her food. It quickly adds up, even swapping out semi skinned milk for whole.

In this situation she probably wants to eat low volumes of food, so its important you try and persuade her to eat calorie dense food.

Even if it means going back to basics and slabbing peanut butter on everything ha.
Starvation really messes with a woman's hormones, especially if she doesn't have enough important macro nutrients for hormone production, so I suppose you kinda have to be ready for mood swings and be consistent with her.

Alternatively dump her retard ass and let her die idk

If she can't accept an apology and realize that she nearly died with her last experience, this is only going to weigh on you. If she can't support herself, let go and preserve your own life of having to babysit a grown woman that will kill herself when your back is turned.

Hey can I take you on a date? I read your posts sometimes and I really started taking an interest in you when I learnt you had big boobs.

London

I'm out of the country till August, so I can't do much other than talking to her, and no way I'll dump her. She did have heavy mood swings in the last few days, but I didn't think they could be related

Anorexic girls suffer from serious hormone imbalances, women are more suspectable to wild mood swings due to poor diet, that's kinda the nature of woman. They are designed to push babies out of them bro, they gotta be well fed and healthy.

You're kinda doomed, she obviously isn't going to help herself so idk what to suggest

She's still at a stable weight and will take at least a month before she gets to the unsafe range, but she's experiencing a continue lack of energies already. If in the next week it doesn't get better, I think I'll drop my uni and go back to her without thinking twice

Not across the ocean

Don't stick your dick in crazy

Is everyone ok with the idea of the girlfriend gas-lighting OP into thinking that HE'S responsible for her eating disorder? I mean, this is a mental thing. HER mental thing. She's the one responsible for herself and her emotions and her triggers and mental coping mechanisms. Those are her responsibility and hers alone. OP is an accessory to her life, not the puppet master. Make her deal with her own shit.

You can move to my flat in London and we can kiss :3

Fair point, I didn't pick up on it myself

>girlfriend gas-lighting OP into thinking that HE'S responsible
She never did. I reached that conclusion by myself, and she actually never said anything until I was the one who brought it up. She actually tried to tell me it wasn't my fault for the longest. I do know it's the result of a long list of traumas, but much regrettably I do have my fair share in that

She also started hanging again thinspo over her room, even though she had stopped and took down all of them. I keep on complimenting how great her body looks, but she won't believe me no matter what

Dump this dumb broad and save yourself for someone without a shitload of emotional baggage. You’re wasting your time.

Also what’s her score on looks?

>Dump this dumb broad
Fuck off
>Also what’s her score on looks?
Unironically 10/10, she literally has my dream body type (when she's at a sane weight, of course), cutest face I've ever seen with cheeks I could play with for hours. If one would ask me to describe my dream woman, she'd match to perfection

Bump. She often wanted to go on hour long walk just to burn as much as possible, but she doesn't even have enough energies for that lately

Yet another bump

Dump her dumb fuck

I'm looking for real advice, fuck off

And bump again

I have been suffering with an eating disorder for about 4 years now and feel I can give some advice.
My partner was pretty supportive throughout the worst parts of my disorder but there are a few things I wish would have been done differently.

* ask her what her 'triggers' are. I know that triggers are such a meme thing but honestly the smallest comments or things can set me off and it would have been so helpful for me if my partner knew about them.

* try not to make too many comments on her body. Focusing too much on her body, appearance could make it worse. If she is truly feeling terrible about herself then you constantly making remarks about her body will just fuel it. Instead tell her you love her, what you love about her personality or how she makes you feel. Move away from body remarks

* Don't force food onto her and let her guide her own recovery. Regaining weight can be pretty traumatic for someone who is underweight..if you force that process she might be physically okay but mentally still severely disordered.

This whole thing is about control. She needs to want to get better, you can't force that. Encourage her to get some professional help and let her know you will be there to support her throughout.

Right now her BMI should be ~22, so she's not at risk or in need of weight recovery. For the triggers, recently we had some fights, but I don't know if that's the cause. For her body, she's the one who always talks about it, and whenever that happens I tell her she looks stunning the way she is, though she can't see it due to dysmorphia Otherwise I don't really comment it. As for forcing her, I'm afraid if I don't she'll really end up in the risky weight zone (which is her current target). I always support her, and tell her several times every day, whenever she feels the worst, that I'll with her no matter what happens. She did consider professional help, but I'm afraid she might have lied to make me feel better

Ask her what her triggers are. I would have appreciated that so much if my partner did that for me.
If she talks about her body, move the conversation away from it. Thats her disorder talking, looking for information to just feed it and drive it further down. Don't buy into it.
I would really encourage professional help. Maybe try and seek out some counsellors to help? I started to see a psychologist and it really helped me as it got me out of my worst time. Its hard to be truely honest with someone close to you about an eating disorder, theres a lot of shame a guilt around it. I wouldn't be surprised if she is lying to you about what she is doing and how she feels. This is why it is important for her to get help from someone outside and impartial from the situation, such as a doctor or a mental health professional.

As far as I know she has no triggers, unless you talk about trigger foods (in which case she got over most if not all of them) which she had last year. I asked her to talk to a psychologist very often, but while she did go twice in January, she never booked other appointments, and the last time I mentioned it (due to different issues, though) she snapped at me. I at least wish I wasn't that far away from her, being in a different country and everything. Last time we met she said she even got over the guilt for eating

Perhaps she needs to find a different psychologist. They are all habe unique approaches to treatment so she will need to find the right one to help her to get over her issues with food.
Don't try to push the issue too much, it could make things worse if she feels threatened or attacked by you.
Are you in a long distance relationship?

She has a very bad relationship with psychologists in general, as they always end up telling her, after a few times she talks with them, to talk with a psychiatrist instead. Personally I just think she didn't find one good enough, but she just don't trust them.
>Are you in a long distance relationship?
Until I'm done with uni, yeah, planning to move with her after I graduate. Right now the distance is the most due to huge time zone differences, while normally, while still being in an LDR, our countries are close enough it takes a bit more than two hours for me to visit her (due to a series of reasons, her parents don't know of me yet so she can't come to my place)

Hm, I don't know what else to suggest here. Eating disorders are tricky...
Show your support where you can and don't fuel her issue by indulging her in talk about weight, calories or body image. There isn't much else I can say unless you have any specific questions. Please be patient with her and always encourage help from a professional because you, nor her, are qualified to deal with this situation properly.