QUESTION: Should I call this girl tonight to ask her out this weekend or should I wait
CONTEXT: >Last week, finally worked up the courage to talk to this girl at a restaurant >Got her name, got her number, things seemed to be clicking really well, when I got her number she even followed it up by saying she was free that weekend (unfortunetly I worked that weekend) >Tuesday rolls around and I ask her if she's free this week or weekend >She says "Let me check my schedule, I believe I close every night except tonight, I will let you know in a bit" >That was the last text she sent me, that Tuesday, she didn't "let me know in a bit" >The next day, Wednesday, I send her text basically outlying my schedule, telling her I'm pretty much available to take her out any afternoon. >No response
I'm considering just calling her and asking her if she's free this weekend, but this feels like I'll be coming on too hard. I don't know what to do.
Don't chase people. You deserve to be with someone who is as invested in developing things as you are.
Luke Thompson
I hate this type of advice. Deserve has no place in the world. Lots of people deserve lots of things but they don’t get them. More often than not you have to chase down what you want in life, OP. I’m not saying it applies in this case as she may not be interested, or has other things going on, but waiting for things to come to you is the last thing you should be doing.
Jose Green
I wonder how many opportunities you have missed in your life if you go by this philosophy
Benjamin Scott
>Deserve has no place in the world. Lots of people deserve lots of things but they don’t get them. So deserving something does have a place, but the world is imperfect. Think about the alternative, your implied argument: unless things are guaranteed then they're not relevant. That sounds like the attitude of a person that only fights battles they're sure to win, only struggles when success is assured. That's akin to cowardice.
>waiting for things to come to you The advice is literally telling him to move on instead of waiting for this girl to come around. It's encouraging him to pursue something better.
You really need to think through your outlook on the world. It's self-contradicting.
Isaiah Sanchez
Just as many as anyone else? I'm not going to dwell on the hypothetical loss of an opportunity that I had to hound after. I don't need opportunities like that; they needed me, and they missed out just as much as I may have. Meanwhile I move on to the next.
Hunter Cruz
How the fuck do you get a partner without chasing them somewhat
Nicholas Hill
I don't think I've been at a shortage of people who have been enthusiastic to share my company since I was like 15 or 16 years old. People make time for me as I make time for them.
Gavin Myers
My advice simply is that the world doesn’t give you dick - deserve or not. You have to go get what you want and even that’s not guaranteed. Sitting on your ass waiting for what you “deserve” or telling yourself that you “deserve” something is useless. I see no contradiction.
Jeremiah Cooper
>I'm considering just calling her and asking her if she's free this weekend I’d call this one a loss and move on. You already reached out to her after she didn’t respond the first time, what good is it going to do by trying again? Her answer should be obvious by her silence
Angel Morris
But if what you want is to be in a healthy relationship, the motivation to abandon partners who need to be chased just to give you the time of day comes from knowing you deserve better. OP isn't "sitting on his ass" if he deletes this chick's phone number and moves on to the next.
The contradiction on your part is somehow thinking that moving on is "sitting on his ass."
Zachary Powell
Listen, maybe this chick is busy or has six other guys who are trying to fuck her brains out and OP is in competition with that. Your advice seems to be give up because she’s not putting in as much work. Supply and demand. If she is worth chasing why should she put in equal work? Maybe once OP shows her something to separate himself from the pack she would be a phenomenal partner? And maybe not. Either way, people should stop telling themselves that they “deserve” anything. Work you ass off, take chances, and maybe, MAYBE things will work out. If they don’t, it isn’t necessarily about “deserve”.
Landon Long
>If she is worth chasing She isn't.
You're advocating that it's worth chasing people because they are worth chasing. That's not an argument, that's circular logic.
Andrew Evans
By not being one sided. There should be some "chase" going both ways.
Isaiah Perez
You’re being obtuse. It’s not circular logic. If something inherently has value and can provide more value to your life without costing you more than the value it provides, it is worth going after. This girl could change OPs life for the better with a bit of effort.
Connor Hernandez
>without costing you more than the value it provides The opportunity cost of missing on a person who doesn't need to be chased exceeds that value.
Henry Martin
>Picking up a stone is certainly better than working to uncover a diamond
Chase Flores
Okay first off, you've gotta be delusional to think that a happy relationship between two people who are equally motivated to be together is "a stone." That's a really shit comparison in your analogy.
Secondly, isn't that kinda the same logic that people who play the lottery use? "Putting $2 in my savings account is a waste compared to trying to hit this Powerball." Because, see, you're doing it again: assuming the diamond is worth chasing because it's there and it's a diamond. I'm still waiting to hear the part where you establish that people who need to be chased to give you a fucking response to a text message are amazing partners in waiting. They sure don't look it from the outside.
Gimme my stones. I'll build a castle while you go filth farming for some fool's gold.
>>That was the last text she sent me, that Tuesday, she didn't "let me know in a bit"
Lmao, she literally cucked you and you still thinking you have a chance, fucking learn your place
Parker Wood
Your castle analogy is shit. You only get one life partner, you can’t stack a bunch of mediocre partners to make something great. You get one.
Since top tier partners in looks, resources, etc. are desirable that means they have competition vying for them. Supply and demand. You seem to be ignoring that.
While this guy I settling with whoever will fall into his lap OP, you should realize you will need to work for desirable things in life - to include hot/exceptional girls.
Eli Baker
>Your castle analogy is shit. I know, I was making fun of yours.
>desirable things in life - to include hot/exceptional girls. Hahahahaha nigga you actually think the point of this game is just to fall in love with a stripper! Holy shit, thank you for finally giving that away so OP understands your true derangement.
OP - get a good woman, not a hot one. Fucking retard over here is still stuck in high school trying to bang the captain of the cheerleading squad.
Charles Lopez
You were making fun of a good analogy by using a shit one? Good play. >stripper That’s quite the leap you made there. Who said anything about strippers? I am talking about a woman who is highly desirable having other men trying to court her.
We obviously have different philosophies on life which is fine. If you’re okay with the laid back approach landing you whatever comes your way, then fine. Your advice is useless to someone who is looking to better their station in life.
Parker Young
If you have to ask for advice from Jow Forums, you’re probably fucked anyways
