Human Doormat for Magic the Gathering players

I lost a competition and agreed to humiliate myself by making myself financially available to a Magic: the Gathering player. The only problem is, I don't play magic, don't know exactly what goes into it, etc. My requirement is to look foolish by spending my money to fuel someone else's habit to the extent that people in the magic community would think I was a dumbfuck and a meal ticket.

Do I offer to pay for packs of cards or individuals or both? How often do new cards come out? I realize that cards vary in price but how much?

I need to offer a program like, "I owe you X packs per week, have to reimburse you for tournament fees, etc." What deal would make me look like a dumbfuck put into concrete, contractual terms? I've agreed to 3 years.

Thanks in advance for fielding my weird question.

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What the fuck is wrong with you and the people you hang out with

I was part of a local miniatures tournament and made a bet with the organizers that would have landed me free product had I won first place in the tournament. If I didn't place, I wouldn't lose anything. But I agreed that if I didn't win any games that I'd do this.

They view magic players as kind of ruthless gamers who would jump on letting me pay for their collections. It's a long story to explain why it is that this bet was made. But I lost and that's the point.

Any magic players out there willing to share what they think I should offer that would fulfill my end of the bargain? Anyone willing to share what i would include in a signed, written statement of what I agree to pay for?

depends on the player, if they are a standard pleb just packs and fnm entry fees should do, if they play modern or pauper then packs won't really help them and they'll need specific cards. same thing for vintage and legacy players but if you managed to cuck yourself to vintage players you just might as well kys

I don't get to choose who I pay. But I do get to write the agreement so long as I look like a bitch for offering what I'm offering and it's a no-brainer for any magic player, regardless of style of play, to say yes to.

Magic can get extremely expensive so I'm not sure you realize what you're getting into.
Some of the best standard decks right now cost upwards of $500 and they rotate every few months.
Older formats are way more expensive than that.
So I suppose if your purpose is to look dumb you could offer to maintain someone's standard deck for 3 years

If I wrote an agreement saying, I agree to financially maintain your standard deck starting June 1st, 2019 to May 31st, 2022, is that enough info that magic players would know what that means? Would all magic players benefit from that? I don't play magic so I'm not sure what modern, vintage, etc. Mean.

"I agree to maintain your standard deck to keep it adequate for the current metagame or replace it if updates to the deck become impossible"

Ok, ty. I'll cut and paste that into the agreement. Thanks.

Would that satisfy any player or are there other styles of the game I'd have to accommodate with further info/offers

Would mostly depend on the format I guess.
You're gonna have to find a standard player for that to be appealing

Ok, any further clauses to add would be appreciated if you have the time. Otherwise, this was a good start.

You should discuss it with the person directly to see what they would want

I'm supposed to post an ad to find the person and I'm trying to give as detailed info as possible ahead of time. I prefer to have a third party to tell me what to do.

What I know now is that I can meet them at a game shop to pay for their goods, or I'd they aren't local and can text/ email a receipt, I can PayPal them a reimbursement. What I don't know are the details about the game itself.

No offense to anyone on Jow Forums but this is one of the few places I trust to find a 3rd party to come up with creative ideas for what I should owe.

God forbid you fucking ask the people you're buying for
Why is Earth such a fuckin mistake anyway. How'd we go and fuck it up so bad.

Ok, well since I dont know who else to ask then I'll have to ask them for help. It just feels weird negotiating with someone who knows everything about the game and is the person who I'd be paying.

There’s a shit ton of loopholes in that.

Many people, have multiple standard decks, so I would specify ONE deck.

The meta game thing also might open you up to someone saying that their current deck is untenable because it doesn’t score 1st place all the time now and instead only ranks 5th, and they could argue that they need ANOTHER deck to be “competitive”.

By having no spending cap, you’re also opening yourself up to shady players trying use that to buy cards that they don’t need, under the excuse that they’re “trying them out”, which could easily skyrocket your costs from about $300 a deck, to them just going out and buying whatever $20-$40+ dollar cards they want, just to “try” them out and then sell on the side.

Modern, vintage, standard are formats of magic.

It’s kind of like a “Season” in a way...

Vintage is basically allows you to play any card ever made
Modern allows you to only play card printed since 2003.

Standard allows you to play only cards printed during the past two “Season”s. In essence, that basically works out to cards that ave more or less been released over the last 2 years.

Every year, a new “season” starts, and new cards are released in thematic blocks (there’s usually 2-4 blocks throughout a season/year.) and usually printed and reprinted until the end of the year

Every time a new “block”s are introduce (usually once a year) another gets pushed out.

Certain card can also become “banned” from Standard from time to time (because they realize they are game breaking powerful).


Usually the a weave cost per standard deck is about $300. It might last you anywhere from half a year to a year and a half, depending on how many cards you have that are phased out or in.

By comparison, in modern and vintage, the cards are relatively static, but because they are, that also means that there are basically no reprints of the cards that exist, which means prices skyrocket.

I mean maintain one deck at a time, for as long as it’s viable. Not for the duration of the period.

You’d also have to specify what viable means in that case.

Thank you all for this feedback

So maybe limit to one standard deck and a monthly/weekly stipend to pay for other decks?

I think this is why I got this penalty. I make a decent income but I'm stingy with money. Not knowing a lot about magic means I could easily sign myself up for getting worked over. Even though I'd be fine, it would sting getting bills/receipts for a randos magic costs.

Jesus christ don't pay for that over priced cardboard. Don't fucking do it. DON'T FUCKING DO IT.

Not even 1 a week. That is is much money you're shelling out. Tell them they'll have to pay for their own overpriced cardboard, use that word specifically, cardboard. If they call you out on it, tell them you didn't know pack their cardboard cost almost as much as cigarettes. Maybe they can justify paying for overpriced sometimes shiny cardboard but you can't no matter the reason.

Unless you were a dumbass and signed something or swore an oath on video they'll probably won't take you to court over it unless you say anything about court.

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We agreed that I'd do it. They had prize support for me if I won the tournament as well. I'm sticking to it, even if I look like an idiot.

Shiiiiit I haven’t played in the last year, apparently they completely got rid of the block system in standard... I was about to say:

>Honestly, I’d just do something like “spend up to $300 per block cap, with an additional $50 to spending cap per released expansion”

But that no longer applies whatsoever... you’ll have to get someone else who currently plays to tweak it.

Reading up, looks like you could say something like:

“$300 per core set with $150 added per large standalone set” and that’d work out to like 750 a year probably... but I have no idea how the new standalone sets function so I don’t know the viability of it all.

Point still stands though, I’d put a spending cap on it, and your smartest way is probably to structure it around release of cards, that way it forces them to be wise with their spending, and limits someone abusing your wallet.

This is all pretty complicated but I think it works. If I'm reading it right, it sounds like people also buy old cards but if I use the release dates of cards to renew the stipend, that should be agreeable to everyone. $750 a year for free is a good chunk of change.

Just buy 100 packs at once

What kind of boosters did you agree to specifically? 1 small pack booster they is approx 192 USD per yet before retailer markup, shipping, and that's just for general crap . If you didn't agree to that kind of booster you might be in serious trouble.

And unless you signed something or swore a record oath with them, you didn't have that prize backing, and neither do they. Did you see the money? IN a non partial account? With a bookie? Nah, I doubt it. That's how fools like get played, you just shoot off your mouth and your too pussy to flip the table.

Enjoy being played, dumbass.

I didn't agree to boosters. I agreed to fund a magic player's hobby with my own money for the years in such a way that members of the magic community would find laughable. Specifically, I should look like a dumb ass.

snaek option:
>make contract for 3 years of expenses for them to see
>post ad on craigslist for the product
>secretly make deal with me beforehand to be the craigslist “buyer”, and I will send you back the product in full for a mere 5% exchange fee.

Lol, I appreciate it and would be willing to help someone here on Jow Forums though I'm not keen on sharing my contact info here. Also, I want to face my penalty honestly.

If you’re going to do it honestly that’s commendable user. Find the most deserving Timmy to finance, it would be good three-fold; the yield you give them would mean a lot more to them; they are likely to be thankful and not demanding regardless of the product; the humiliation is lessened by the charity of it.

Unfortunately I don't get to choose exactly. I have to take the first magic player that agrees to use me to find his collection.

Now that we've figured something out, I'll give you all the first dibs if you're a magic player. If not, I'll post an add elsewhere. You can message me on Steam if you're willing to accept paypal and discuss this further: steamcommunity.com /id/ einerupptilfjalla/

(remove the spaces)

I'll take it no one on here is interested. Thanks again for the advice and information.