I think I really screwed up.
I should have gotten married tomorrow. I and my girlfriend made the appointment a year ago. We were really looking forward to it. We have been together for 6 years and have two daughters. A happy relationship. Technically. The closer the date for the wedding is, the more nervous I became. Do I want to tie myself to this woman for the rest of my life I have asked myself. I could not answer this question with Yes. There are so many women who are more ambitious, more intelligent and more beautiful. If I were to marry her, I would have the feeling for the rest of my life that I might have missed the perfect woman. I had to cancel the wedding. Gain distance to her and the children. I have so many thoughts in my head. She is angry and disappointed, just like our friends and her family. I don't know. Did I make the right decision? She just wasn't the perfect woman. I told her that so she would understand.
I think I really screwed up
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You should leave her
Yep, you're a special kind of stupid.
I'm guessing you have some form of OCD or maybe even autism. Obsessing about perfection in a partner will lead you to madness. You've collapsed your life now, so you're DEFINITELY heading in that direction. Have fun.
That's what I did. The only question is whether that was the right decision.
I want a woman who's perfect for me. With whom I would like to grow old. With whom I never ask myself whether there might not be a better one after all. It is difficult but not impossible.
Perhaps you should've asked yourself these things before producing two children and having to pay child support as well as have two kids who will likely carry that emotional baggage for the rest of their lives.
wait but you were with her for six years
and you had two kids
are you in your 20s or 30s?
i feel really sorry for your girlfriend man she must be destroyed
well she cant kill herself cause then her kids wont have anyone
damn user im sorry you feel that way but thats mean to do to her are you sure thats what you feel
you wasted six years of this girls time and now that she has two kids she wont ever get married again cause you males hate raising other people's kids so she'll fall into a depression and your kids are definitely gonna be affected but hey
i guess broken familes are common these days.
american culture is just so dumb sometimes i dunno it feels like we're the only culture that fucks up making families the right way
Uh you already tied yourself to her by having kids..
You should be responsible for them, even if you don't feel it's working out with the mother. But how it will go down is that you will never find someone better and interested in you and once she starts dating again you'll be jealous and regretful and begging for her back and she won't come back.
So good luck with that
You are a terrible human being and won’t find happiness
I'll be real with you. Your problem is you're looking at her shortcomings. No woman is perfect, so don't compare her to others. You have been together for 6 years and have 2 beautiful kids together- SHE'S ALREADY YOUR WIFE . A ring isn't gonna change a thing. Don't be a dumbass and lose her. Get your ass back home, be a man, be a husband, be a father. Everybody has anxiety before getting married. Apologize to her and get married. Your wife needs you and your kids need you. Peace be with you, user.
A horrible father is worse than not having one. If he’s this unstable how can he be ever trusted to raise kids or be a husband. I say leave for their sake, but make sure to pay your part for the kids
oof man, buddy, wow.
>she just wasnt the perfect woman, i told her so she would understand
wtf, you're a damn savage, whats wrong with you?
Like the other anons said, you've been together for six years and have two kids, you're married in all but name. Maybe you should have thought about how she wasnt right for you before you wasted six years of her life and pumped two babies into her, dumb fuck.
I hope this is a LARP. It is amazing how the well-being of the children never once came into the discussion, but I guess personal responsibility isn't the norm anymore.
Your only hope now is to plead temporary insanity and beg for a do-over. That family of yours probably deserves better but if you can at least get back to being the person you must have been for a while before you lost your frickin mind, maybe it’ll work out ok. Cos if that perfect bitch is out there somewhere, she sure as shit gonna be doing better than you.
What a colossal dumbass
I hate this lame excuse which gets used every time by pussies. The fact he's making this thread shows he's not a piece of shit and is capable of being a good father if he just mans the fuck up.
There are lots of couples out there who would kill for the chance at a family but aren't capable physically.
You still believe people can change. In reality this hardly ever happens. Saying Man’ing the fuck up isnt going to make this lame weak garbage person a man. Or understand responsibility. Sorry to burst your bubble of the human condition.
You're already together and have 2 kids. That's your family. And now after 6 years you suddenly have second thoughts?
What's so magical about getting married making you tied down? You are tied down since 6 years!
And now you're older and have 2 kids you might have to pay for, I don't think your market value went any up.
That's your life now, and it doesn't have to be a sad thing if you stop cashing for a "perfect woman". What about being a half decent man first of all, and not leave the mother of your children and your children themselves?
I can't go back to my wife. That would not be the right decision. We both deserve to be as happy as possible. I do not believe that this will be achieved if we get married. I wish that had been clear to me earlier. My decision is unfair to her and our children, I know that. But it would also be unfair if we both stayed under our possibilities for the rest of our lives. Of course I will take care of my children financially, that is my duty as a father. That is not up for debate at all. I want to be there for my children. Maybe even get custody? The future will tell.
>We both deserve to be as happy as possible.
Single mom with two kids. Well done, I'm sure she's going to have a great life. Don't even try to play off being a martyr here. You are a horrible human being.
>Of course I will take care of my children financially, that is my duty as a father.
No, being a FATHER is your duty as a FATHER. You are looking out for one person only. That is yourself. It is beyond transparent, no matter how you try to dress up the argument.
Are you black?
Do you love her?
She can still have a new relationship, can't she? It is nothing unusual today that people enter into a relationship even though they have children. You act as if she has to be lonely for the rest of her life. Would a life with a man who no longer really loves her have been better for her? Would she have a great life then? I don't think so.
I said I wanted to be there for my kids. Financially and otherwise.
No, I'm white.
No one is a perfect woman op, love is also loving and accepting those imperfections, She did for you.
>It is nothing unusual today that people enter into a relationship even though they have children. You act as if she has to be lonely for the rest of her life
Kek. Also, why do you expect the perfect woman? Are you the perfect man?
>Maybe even get custody?
bro you'll be lucky if you see them once a week, what a feckless cunt you are.
>She can still have a new relationship, can't she? It is nothing unusual today that people enter into a relationship even though they have children.
You are beyond deluded. The fraction of men that want to enter a long-term relationship with a single mom with two kids is minuscule. You fucked over her entire life. How exactly do you suppose she'll be able to get a well-paying career having to take care of both of the kids for the next decade or two? Will she even have time to mingle with men when she isn't taking care of TWO CHILDREN?
But I don't love her imperfections. She is just not the right one for me. That's the problem.
I don't know. That will have to be discussed. I have a great interest in seeing my children often
You're exaggerating. I know many men who are willing to enter into a relationship with a woman who already has children. This is nothing unusual anymore. I even know a man who is now married to a woman who already has 4 children. Of course it is more difficult with children, but not impossible. Financially I will probably pay for the children, so she doesn't really have any problems?
You already tied yourself to her when you impregnated her. Twice.
Just get married.
You ruined her life, bro.
>Financially I will probably pay for the children, so she doesn't really have any problems?
Cooking for them, cleaning, taking them to school, going to their events, parent-teacher conferences, driving them for sleep overs (what if they both want to stay at different houses?), soccer practice or field-hockey, planning birthday parties. Throw in working because she would be a fool to depend on you no matter how much you profess you'll take care of her and she has 80 hour weeks for the next two decades. I'm sure your anecdotes are a good approximation of the true reality for a single mother.
>I don't know. That will have to be discussed. I have a great interest in seeing my children often
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
you actually think you'll get a say? What fucking universe do you think you're in? I don't know if you know this, but the courts rule in favor of the woman 100% of the time in domestic cases like this one. Besides, you've demonstrated a huge lack of responsibility and obligation to your wife and children, to just up and leave out of nowhere, for basically no reason, any judge that oversees your case will not look kindly on that at all. And I just wish I could be in the court room when the judge asks you why you left your wife and two children. and you answer "She just wasn't the perfect woman, that's all", just so I could see the look on his face when he hears such fucking drivel.
This is probs bait, but I'm reasonably drunk so whatever.
>Did I make the right decision? She just wasn't the perfect woman.
You're never gonna find the perfect woman, no one really does. If she was good enough for you to even accidentally have 2 kids with then she was good enough for you to marry. I mean 1 kid, sure, shit happens, but for shit to happen twice?
>It is difficult but not impossible.
It's only possible because definitionally it'snot impossible. But it's highly, highly improbable.
I would have rather had a completely absent father than one who was physically there but rarely there emotionally. At least then I would have never thought I could depend on him or that he was teaching me right.
I'm not sure what you thought about this article, but my reading of it likely wasn't yours. Which is to say, mine wasn't as critical of OP as yours likely was.
At least she'll get every asset he owns, and they look back years for anything you've sold or transferred to try to hide assets or money. It doesn't even matter if he wants to provide, since by having two kids, they'll take up to 75% of his income for the next two decades.
>OP's face when he realizes that not only has he lost his wife, but the custody of his children, most of his shit, and most of his income for the next 18 years
And for your sake OP, I hope you don't make a lot of money, because judges can get fucking ridiculous with the alimony, on top of your fucking child support. Even if you lose your job and officially have no income, you still have to pay at the rate your alimony was first set on.
God, what a dumb fuck.
>I and my girlfriend
*my gf and I
* me and my gf
sorry
His grammar is the least of his problems.
>two daughters
Leave her. The more young thots with daddy issues there are, the brighter my middle age looks.
I have kids of my own and I would never leave them and let another man be their father. You need to hang in there for your children. You made the mistake of having kids with someone you dont want to spend the rest of your life with. Your daughters will suffer. Separations have well known consequences when it comes to kids. Stop being selfish. Youre a father. Its not about you anymore. Dont get married, but stay together until your kids are old enough. That way you dont mess them up mentally.
And this ladies is why you should abort anything conceived out of wedlock. Unless you're loaded enough to not give a fuck and provide the kids a good life yourself, or the dude is loaded enough that child support will provide it for them.
You already made the decision when your created life with her fuck face. Now man the fuck up to your decision and raise your family. You don't get to change your mind.
Fucking degenerates like you make me sick.
It makes no sense to continue a relationship if a person has no interest in it. This is neither good for the people involved nor for the children.
he's either a nigger or a spick
There is no perfect woman you fucking retard. Good luck reconnecting with the kids. Hopefully she has more spine than you do.
user youre an absolute fucking retard. kill yourself. Actually, not yet. Get up off your ass, go back to your girlfriend and kids, get on your fucking knees and apologize, get married, raise ur fucking kids till they're both 18, then kill yourself. Fucking retard
Yeah you fucked up. There is no such thing as perfect. You had a good thing and you blew it. Either prostrate yourself before her or settle in for a lifetime of regret
right? fuck.
You're an idiot and you've damaged your children. Terrible people like you don't deserve happiness.
Your an asshole. Unless you stay in the same town as your kids they will essentially not have a father growing up. It’s possible to still be there for them living far away if it’s clear the mother caused the issues but it was all you here buddy you left them.
And if down the road you find someone else and have kids with them when your daughters come to visit (assuming you still even see them) they are going to see your new kids with our new family and wonder why they didn’t deserve to have a father there for them growing up. It will be be even worse if they are in their teenage years when you do this.
>It is difficult but not impossible.
I've been married for ten years, it absolutely is impossible. you got caught by the "grass is greener" mentality. by having children, you committed to her far more than just getting married.
every relationship will have moments where you wonder if you made a good decision, it's inevitable. you're mentally a child though, so it's good she's free to find a good father for her children.
that's a cope for divorcees. children are better off with both parents in the picture so long as there isn't violence.