ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender Anything

Men. Which one hangs lower? Sound off like you have a pair! I want some statistical data.

Girls. You can help if you have a man around.

Wouldn't 1 on 1 imply a date, or should I use a group activity as a mask?

Does imply date but doesn't preclude anything else. I've been for coffee with people I have no romantic interest in, girls are normally used to it as a way of socialising

>Breaks up with bf
>Wants to flirt/fuck around with 'safe' guy from past
>Isn't very good at it due to inexperience
>Guy isn't really interested due to prior feels
>Feels uneasy and vulnerable

Why don't you just say that you recognise that she just got out of a relationship and while she might be looking to meet up, you aren't that kind of guy because you wished in the past you'd gotten together if you do meet up now it'll open that book and probably just try to wife her up and get all weird and you can't be fucked with that.

There is also a slight chance that she is terrible at not being in relationships and will just rebound onto you anyway?

I've met girls who are like hey I've just gotten out of a relationship, looking to have some fun, be a strong independent woman, stand on my own two feet you know? Do some crazy shit, fucked up shit, you get me? Lets get crazy? Fuck that guy! Fuck him. Later on after she rimmed me and I tried to jam my foot up her vagina she is all like don't ever leave me, why am I so lonely, my god my life is a mess, my sister is getting fucking married, married! Do you want to get lunch and meet my family?

Yeah, I like her enough to want to wife her, and when she saud she's surpass my kill count it hurt, like she just wants to use me to get her sexual side going and become a bit of a slut. So if I go see her in like a month she'll be weird about me trying to show affection and she just wants to fuck. This is too much for me to handle, I have no idea what I'm doing.

I see, I'll ask about it in a few days.
>"If you don't mind, would you like to check out [place]? We could talk a bit more"

Dudes;
I wasn't having sex with my bf last night and he had to stop cus he had a headache. We were supposed to resume this morning but he's either forgotten or intentionally time wasting, both of which are fine but idk which it is. I usually instigate sexual things. Sending a text (it's complicated) that says, "Don't suppose I could convince you to finish what we started last night?" Y/N?

>Should I communicate with my boyfriend?

No, what a terrible idea.

This world is absolutely fucked.

I am starting to get self conscious about being desperate is all. I know some people think that if a chick is too sexual it's time to bounce, so

Please read Hey will you lay me is not the same as communicating seriously in a relationship and the fact you think so says more about you than I

Whoops. Sorry B

Y/N: Y

No. Asking him to lay you is a request. Communication would be talking with the dude, assessing the situation, and acting accordingly. Something you have yet to figure out, apparently.

Instead, you ask an anonymous image board whether THEY think that you should ask your boyfriend to fuck.

Really confidence inspiring stuff, there.

If he leaves you, I think we can be pretty certain it's not because you're putting out to much.

Lots of overthinking going on here. Guys like it when you want to fuck. We like it.

Yes. But also talk about what’s going on.

To you and the other user, ty. I've sent, hopefully I luck out.

> Something you have yet to figure out, apparently.
Nah I'm autistic and I'm aware that whilst I feel like I may have a good grasp on the situation and my awareness of it, that's not always the case. In situations that are sensitive, I prefer to get a second opinion so I'm not going OTT. You seem real upset over someone coming to an advice thread for advice.

Oh aye I know that, I also know that I can be quite annoying / repetitive but with sex it's not usually an issue, I just like to double check.

What do you mean?

girls does the possibility of a MFFF foursome exist in your mind?

Ask if there is something else bothering him. He might be less invested in the relationship etc

I’m open to the idea, yeah.

You should really have more faith in yourself. You won't always be able to rely on others.

No. Even MFF only seems fun to me under very specific circumstances, most importantly me feeling attracted to the girl and her being open to actually being sexual with me (and not just making out a little).

If you're talking about more people then two couples seems much more fun to me.

Left

>more than a twosome
Nope.

Not a dude but if you usually initiate I wouldn't phrase it like this. At least make it "Can I convince you", I know you're probably trying to not come off too strong but "Don't suppose" could be read as a guilt trip (welp, I guess your promise didn't mean shit but I'm still trying!) if he already has issues having the lower libido.

Also ask yourself why a text. Do you just want encouragement before trying to seduce him? Because him saying he's open to it now really doesn't mean much for his energy level, lack of headache etc tonight. I think in general you're better off trying to go for it once the situation arises. Or maybe send him something like "I keep thinking of how you did [something that happened before you quit having sex] and leave it to him to respond more or less sexually.

I also agree with the other user that if you're this worried about how to initiate sex you need to talk about it in depth at a non-sexual moment. (Again, if you already did.)

Ladies:
As someone that enjoys social dancing, what do you enjoy being on the dance floor, being close to your significant other and barely move?

"I express myself while dancing" what exactly do you express when dancing? How can dancing convey anything?

Let's say that the lead knows about 20 moves and he just uses the same 20 moves. Would you get bored?

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As someone who enjoys dancing and isn't good at it by any stretch, it's not about your actual performance, it's about responding to the music. Music is very emotive and does a lot to how you feel and it is satisfying to express that, even through the most mundane stuff like clapping, tapping your feet, bobbing your head. When people say they express something they don't mean they convey a message for someone else. It's like smiling when you read something funny. Music is made to stir your emotions and appeal to your sense of rhythm, even lousy dancing responds to that. And even when you do a piss poor job it can feel fun to match bodily movements to a beat, just like singing along poorly can enhance your enjoyment of a song if you love singing.

And no I am long glad if a guy will come with me. I don't expect anything but him being able to have fun doing it.

Left. I see someone else said left too, so this might get interesting.

Thanks, I guess the first two questions arise because I greatly enjoy dancing kizomba but hate the music itself so it does nothing for me.

Huh, didn't even consider that, he's just a busy dude. I'll keep an eye on it, then maybe speak to him in the future if I notice it.

This is fundamentally untrue, the only reason I don't have my normal fall back (twin bro and friends) is because I'm in a different part of the country. There is nothing wrong with double checking your reactions to see if they're appropriate, especially to someone you deem important.

I ended up going with "do you fancy" because I thought the same thing about the phrasing, so thanks for your honesty there. I'm not trying to pressure him or guilt him.
The text was cus we're in the same area but I went for a nap and decided that I'd rather have him, but where he was is not the place to have this conversation. I usually instigate in person, this is just one of those scenarios. I wanted him to come and lay me right then, I'm not into planning longer than a sleep in advance.
I'm not worried worried, I'm just worried about me being a tit without noticing. If I know I'm coming across as desperate, at least I can deal with it.

I'm a 29 year old virgin, what's the easiest way to end this misery

Yes but I like women more than men

Hooker. Or go on Tinder and pretend to be foreign, I hooked up with a lot of women in Vegas since I'm a foreigner so being foreign might work for you.

Thanks user, I'm not sure it will work but I'll give it a go

NO thats like saying "I like putting razor blades in my vagina."

girls do you prefer the idea of a mff or a mmf?

For a fantasy, MMF hands down. In practice I think I'd sooner go for MFF if I liked the girl. Neither score high on my sexual wants.

Good luck my friend. Just be chill and casual about it, talk to them like a friend and ask them about themselves.

>A cutter in the ass or vagina? which one do you like?
I get why people like it but it's just not my thing.

>be me
>have girl friends
>they only want to spend time with me on non-fridays, or will call me up on friday/saturdays to do something pronto, but it's because their bf has bailed on them

How much of a beta am I? Should I stick a knife in my throat?

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This is pretty normal and something (female) friends also deal with. If it bothers you this much consider you are just unhappy being just a friend to begin with.

Grills
Is there such a thing as too much foreplay? If it got to the point you couldn't stand it anymore would you say something? Get mad or think badly of him?

have you tried calling them out on this? Some people dont even know they are hurting someone if not told directly and are actually willing to change things around if confronted (noone is intentionally an evil bitch, life isn't some cartoon or drama)
Anyway you are not beta, its actually a nice thing about you, it shows that you are emotional/sensitive person who cares about friendships. Just because our sensitivities might get abused by unaware people, doesn't mean we need to become unemotional or "tough"

left

Yeah sure, if the frustration ruins the enjoyment. It depends on the person and even the session when that happens though. I would just tell them to quit teasing and get on with it, if straight up "I want to feel your dick now" etc didn't do the trick.

And if he wanted to delay that part because he is already close?

No

Err, I guess it's kind of easy to say that you'd be graceful while not being in the situation and feeling the build up and emotion. But I know myself as a pretty patient person who is not easily put off. I'm pretty confident that if he said he was close and wanted a little more I'd understand and be okay with it, but I would get pissy if he ignored my requests without an explanation and I mistook it for power play ("we'll stop when I want to stop").

If I accidentally make eye contact with a girl, will she assume that I have been staring at her for a while?

No

Not unless she has personal issues. People just look at each other, all the time.

If you have to ask such a question you probably give off that creepy staring vibe, so yes

Of course I "called them out", whenever I spend time with them on a Friday I'm like "okay so who cancelled on you?" because that isn't normal at all. They are hesitant to admit it but always their bf had other plans and they relied on me to do something.

Isn't that pretty pathetic? It's like they'd rather spend time with a loser (me) than alone simply because of the social stigma around spending Fridays alone. Should I kill myself?

You are WAY overreacting. Not being someone's very first choice to hang out with is absolutely normal especially being friends with someone in a relationship. It doesn't mean they don't like or value you and you are only ruining a good thing by convincing yourself that it does.

If you had a cute girlfriend you were crazy about, would you want to alternate spending weekend nights with her and with every other friend you have? Of course not. That's also not how you build a long term relationship, you have to prioritize each other. Taking that as a personal affront says more about your self esteem than about their friendship with you. I get that this is harsh to hear but that's all I can make of it.

I'm aware this question is not really "ask the opposite gender" type of a question
but I figured it probably doesn't deserve a thread of it's own so I'll just do it here.

So I've been in a relationship with my SO for 3 years now, I care a lot about him
and I really love him. He is the first and only person I ever kissed, my first everything and we are soon to get married.
The only issue is that he gets very angry sometimes and he takes it out on me,
most of the time the things he is angry with are not my fault at all (and sometimes he makes it seem like it is).
I really want to be with him but I really can't take all the drama. I'm the type of a person who prefers just talking things out,
besides, shouting never gets us anywhere after which he resorts to calling me names which is really unnecessary.
I'm not sure what to do about this, I told him how this makes me feel but shouting never stops.
Any advice?

How old are you both?

Getting mad at you for things you weren't even involved in isn't a good sign.

not pathetic
I remember walking with classmates back to their places even if it was out of my way (completely opposite direction, making me miss my bus and forcing me to wait for an hour or more) just to get a few more minutes of talking together lol
In the end just take it for what it is. If you like hanging out with them, what does it matter if you are "second priority" or not? Just try to view it as something you are doing for your own benefit ( if you actually do enjoy spending time with them ) and if not, maybe can switch something around so its more enjoyable for you. As in the end thats what matters in this, doesn't it? Whether you enjoy spending that time with them or not, everything else is just baggage which you really are better off just not thinking about

Really the only thing you can do is tell him that the status quo is not working for you, and if something doesn't change he'll lose you. You don't expect him to change overnight, or to never relapse, but you do expect him to hear you out, work with you on how to avoid these situations in the future, and work on changing.

Changing is hard enough when the person involved has their heart in it. If not, it's flat out impossible.

So we are going to say that's abusive and you should leave him, you won't take that advice so I'll skip right to something that may be useful.
When someone else does shit you don't like you need to realize. You can't control other people. You can tell them to stop, but can't make them.
What you can control is yourself and you reactions to that thing.
Leave the room. Go completely silent. Cry. Go stay the night with family or friends.
However you are reacting now isn't working. He isn't changing himself. You change.

Since I'm straight obviously mmf
I don't really like the idea of threesomes though

Not an ask opposite gender question but
How do I go from doomer to bloomer?

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Fuck I didn't know doomer was a thing but I am one.

1. drop victim mentality
2. drop the naive mentality that the world, "the society", "people", "government" etc were ever out there to take care of you, and stop thinking how much better things could have been if they done things differently
3. Take responsibility for your own life
4. Realize that you are an emotional being
5. Realize that your emotions are just consequences of events
6. Understand which emotions matter to you the most and which do not
7. build your life around satisfying required events which will proc the desired emotional response

Pretty much this except number 2 is wrong. Society should take care of its people but they arent going to and you have to accept that and move to phase 3.

We are both in our early 20s

That doesn't work, if I was to say anything that would imply I'd leave him he would get mad over it and tell me
"so why are you even still with me?" after which he would casually imply if I was to leave he would do something bad
because there would be nothing good things left in his life. Which is almost kinda sweet in a certain light?
I don't wish to change him per se, I just wish he wasn't so upset with everything all the time.

I'm well aware of that. What I like to do when he is shouting is to just stay calm and respond calmly to his accusations,
sometimes I'd say that there is no need for shouting and we can talk about it like civilized people which sometimes works
but more often than not it doesn't. Sometimes stuff gets to me and I do cry which works better but that's not how I want to resolve things. I'm not sure how else I should change?
I also don't have any friends or family near by so I really have nowhere else to go.

Pretty much what the first user already said but to add on it you should also;
Take some time to appreciate the little things in life.
Always try to improve and be a better person than you were yesterday.
Don't get upset over things that are not in your control.
That said, don't try to suppress your emotions either, rather, feel them and then let them go.
Be compassionate towards other people, animals and everything else including yourself.
Make sure to stay active both physically and mentally.
Don't get attached to material stuff, money, luxury. The bad type of desire leads to suffering,

Oh also, consider quitting pornography and excessive masturbating!

Girls, what would your perfect date be like?
Where would you want to go?
What would you want to do?

Hey, does having a glass of Metamucil break your fast when doing IF?

When I talk to a girls, I usually can't maintain eye contact for long periods of time, so my eye wanders away from her face sometimes. Will they think less of me because of this?

What is Metamucil?

It's a fiber supplement

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Does it do it's job?

If I ask a beloved female to show me pretend affection, what would compel her to do it? Would saying "I have nothing to offer but gratitude" helps? Money is not an option as I can barely feed myself.

Yeah.

Why not find someone to show you real affection? In return you too could give her love and affection.

Nice.

That could be too much effort, and I don't think I'd have a chance anyway. Besides, I only want a memory and a face to think back to in times of desperation, not a relationship of any kind.

It’s normal to break eye contact. Staring in someone’s eyes during an entire length of conversation is super creepy

I find this girl attractive and I think she has a crush on me, she always stares at me, sometimes even continues to stare once I look back. But she never talks and when I try to say something it feels like I have to carry the conversation all the time and come up with different things to talk to her about.

What do I do about her? its hard getting to know her and I feel awkward when I talk to her because I'm running out of things to say

Girls

I don’t think I care about sex anymore. How do I tell my gf this

Girls or guys because there are two parts to this.
A girl I went to high school with but haven't spoken to in 4 years is friends with a guy I find very cute (he's not conventionally attractive, so you can keep that in mind if you want). She works at a clothing store near my house and we've smiled at each other a couple of times.
I want to talk to her about this casually, opening with a "hey we went to high school together. Remember me? I'm user, we talked at the bus stop that one time, etc." and segue into asking about him. Maybe something like "I see you all the time at uni with this guy, are you dating?" (I know they aren't) and "Oh, is he single?"

1. Is this weird for her and rude? Is it clear I'm using her (lol)? I'd be happy to be friends afterwards honestly...since I have no female friends.
2. For him, is meeting some random chick like this kind of odd?
Thanks.

What are some small gifts or gestures of appreciation I can do for a girl that don't cost too much money? She doesn't really like flowers and food is always a touchy subject.

Was this the worst thing to say to a girl who went silent the day before we’d planned to get together? Was on shrooms and kinda pissed off that I got stood up.

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The best thing to say is absolutely nothing, but who actually gives a fuck if she stood you up? You didn't say anything crazy enough to end up in reddit screenshots imo.

Have you seen how many girls create YouTube channels just to talk about sex and tell their sex stories?
Girls, what do you think about these girls?

Girls, what if a guy's first message to you was complimenting your feet or offering a foot massage?

Well she’s got some mental problems and last time she went silent was 2 months ago and she ended up in the psych ward so not sure if it’s came off as mocking her. Hard not to take this shit personally though.

Blocked...before I can finish reading the text

Oh I assumed she was some thot off a dating app you didn't know.

Outside tinder and apps and stuff, how common is it nowadays for a guy to go and ask a girl out for coffee or something like a date? It seems to me that all the relationships between young adults just happen when they are friends that hang out and suddenly start realizing they like each other or some shit like that. And that asking someone on an actual date is seen as weird. Is this correct?