My brother has never had a girlfriend ever, and he hasn’t had any friends since middle school. He’s very smart, but seems hopeless. I enjoy weird and annoying people, but even I find spending a lot of time around him taxing.
- has a good job, good hygiene, thin and 5’10, and lives alone. - does a proud version of the ‘virgin walk.’ Taking large steps and swinging his arms with lightly clenched fists. The way a cartoon would exaggeratedly walk. - when perusing things, puts his hands behind his back and leans forward, like a nobleman would. - quintessential thin wire framed “nerd” glasses that flatter no one. - wears the white briefs (tighty whities), t shirts, jeans, and new balances. - poofy hair that’s thinning; when I told him he looks better with it short, he just said “yes yes, you’ve told me as much prior” - speaks incredibly neckbeardy. Ex: he notices his jeans had whiskering and says “seems there was an issue with the dying and such- as if, perhaps, it was wrinkled at the time, and the dye adhered to a certain area- bah! I must purchase some new ones!” - constantly makes comments about innocuous things “ah hah! If the bus had stopped just a few feet prior, we could’ve taken a straight line to our destination!” - semi-jokingly does anime face reactions. - doesn’t drink or do drugs, which sadly is a big hindrance for socializing. - weird as fuck about animals (hard to explain); he won’t pet them and just says “that’s nice” when I said my dog was excited to see him. - likes anime and works in IT - is a nice and kind person, never seen him be bitter or speak ill of normies/vapid people. - never mentions lack of friends or girlfriend.
I’ve seen some turbo nerds get girlfriends, but they all at least have friends, even if they’re drama club/dnd/WoW friends. If he’s truly happy, I’ll leave it alone and let him be himself, and society can fuck off. But I just can’t imagine being so alone and being content.
He seems autistic or just has extremely low self-consciousness. Either way, If he seems happy, there's nothing wrong with him
Leo Edwards
Hah, well not socially or emotionally. But he’s got some very difficult/impressive certifications, and reads dense, complex books for fun.
Thomas Green
thanks for the blogpost you didnt even ask a question
Matthew Wilson
Maybe he's asexual. Or gay.
Kayden Hill
Stop trying to change your brother you fuck, just accept him as he is and help him when he wants don't be one of those bros or parents that feel like you know whats best for your kids or siblings. I feel like you people are everywhere. You not a helper if its unwanted just let it be.
Ryder Reed
He clearly has aspergers or autism. Gf is probably out of the question and for the best cause it would be really hard for him to hold a relationship anyways so forcing one isn't a great idea. Take him around other people like him. Maybe go to an anime convention or mtg tournament. Even then it's no guarentee cause if he doesn't want to make friends he probably won't. Sometimes the only thing you can do is be his friend. If he's happy like that it's not that big of a deal anyways.
Dylan Brown
I guess I’m worried he IS unhappy and just hasn’t shared that feeling. He was bullied in school, and I wonder if he just gave up on people after that. He doesn’t seem to dislike people, so I worry his lack of friends is involuntary.
My bad
Is it possible he really doesn’t care? How to I approach him to make sure he’s ok? Do you know anyone like this and how they fared later in life?
Robert Brown
>If he’s truly happy, I’ll leave it alone and let him be himself, and society can fuck off.
Did you not read? My concern is he wants help, or he’s unhappy and hasn’t voiced it. I don’t want to insult him or MAKE him self conscious by asking either. I was hoping someone would know someone or be similar to him themselves, and would say how they’d like to be treated.
Justin Miller
I mean, If he achieve the things u listed, then there's a high chance he's been content with his life. As for your concerns about his future, try to hang out with him more, since he doesn't have a family of his own, try to make him not forget the you're his family. Best of wishes to your brother
Grayson Fisher
*that you're his family
Adam Parker
Well if he is happy there would be no reason to change him, some people don't need a relationship/whatever you think he lacks. If you sense he is unhappy though you could ask him why and help him with it. There is literally nothing wrong with asking him if he doesn't mind having a gf or why he dislikes going out. Don't approach him in a sad kind of way though, be cheerful and casually ask him about stuff like it doesn't matter, and judge from his reaction if he's unhappy or not, if he's not then there's nothing wrong. I know a few people who are like him and they don't seem to be unhappy, however I'm not close to them so I don't know for sure. As his brother there is nothing strange about asking personal questions, but try and bring it in a cheerful mood or he might suspect you thinking he's lonely and sad which could make him feel disrespected.
Xavier Ortiz
Okay then forget about the gf. Just ask him straight up and be honest be like "I've seen you really unhappy lately, whats up?"
If he pushes you away try again another time. If he answers just listen to him, maybe he doesn't need a solution but someone to listen to him. If thats not it. Then later on ask him these specific questions.
1.Who are you? 2. What do you want?
Maybe he feels disguised in life and feels no purpose to live. But we wouldn't know until he tells us. So thats you mission find the source of his problems and come tell us or help him.
Carter Torres
Thanks man, much appreciate. We live in separate states, but I should make more of an effort to visit.
The “nonchalant upbeat” idea of casually dropping it in conversation is actually really great advice. I’m an idiot for not thinking of that, thanks man. It’s good to hear that you’re aware of similar people who seem fulfilled.
I’m going to approach it how someone suggested- nonchalant and cheerful. He doesn’t seem unhappy at all, but I know lots of people suffer in silence just because no one bothered to ASK. Thanks for your input
Dylan Bailey
>seems there was an issue with the dying and such- as if, perhaps, it was wrinkled at the time, and the dye adhered to a certain area- bah! I must purchase some new ones!
Does he talk like this ironically or sincerely? Can't tell if it's based or cringe
Blake Jackson
He’s sincere- he jokes around, but... sincerely? A little hard to describe.
It’s all very cringe, which makes him such a target. I worry people are shitty to him when I’m not around to tell them to fuck off. Although he works with others in their late 30s, you’d be surprised how clique-y and high school these fucks are.
Bentley Wood
Literally just start inquiring him. Take him to a restaurant or whatever and have "the talk" with him. >there's something that I've been wondering about - you're not a very people person... I don't mind it personally, but it makes me wonder whether you're happy with your life as it is, or social contact is something that you've avoided as a way of coping with something Something to that effect. If he's actually unhappy, prepare for a lot of bawwww. The line between schizoid and avoidant personalities is hair thin and you can't really tell for sure if he doesn't confide to you first. >but I know lots of people suffer in silence just because no one bothered to ASK This is very true though
Bentley Lewis
>yes yes, you’ve told me as much prior Kek Unironically I think he's an autist
Connor Rogers
It’s been suggested several times, and I wouldn’t say it’s farfetched.
It’s kind of odd it managed to not be diagnosed in 36 years though, right? Or can that be par for the course?
