I've been with my gf now for almost a year. I really do love her, she's great, fun to be around, I can talk to her all day without getting bored. We love the same music, love doing the same things, she's great and she loves me a lot.
I'm 24 and am kind of scared of commitment. I'm scared we'll be together for a long time, and I'll miss out on the fun and dating and hook ups that happen in your 20s. I miss using Tinder and going on random and weird dates with total strangers, I miss casually flirting with people at the office or when I'm going out. I know it's a stupid thing to be worried about, since it's only been a year we've been together and not five, but still no matter how rationally I look at the situation I can't help but feel I'm missing out. I catch myself looking at other girls a lot, wanting to slide into DM's, I even dream about hooking up with other people. I basically kind of miss the freedom that being single has.
Whenever I talk to people about this, they always tell me 'Oh, you don't really love her' and to break up with her. I don't want to break up with her. She's fucking awesome, and I really do love her and I want to be with her. But I just can't shake these thoughts. I want to have my cake and eat it to. I felt like this with my last gf too, and when she left me, I didn't think 'I'm finally single' I was completely devastated and felt like I didn't value the time I had with her.
Is there some sort of commitment issues I'm having? And I'm just having normal, horny 20 something year old thoughts? I've only dated two girls, this one and my last, and my last one was over 4 years ago. Have I just been single for so much of my life that its hard to reframe my minset to being in a relationship? I would never cheat on her ever, but all these thoughts I have make me feel insanely guilty and bad about myself. Any advice?
marry and settle down i dont fucking get it what are you waiting for
>and I'll miss out on the fun and dating and hook ups that happen in your 20s nothing last forever you cant be teen forever grow the fuck up you where kid once it was fun now all that is over take responsibility and man up
>Whenever I talk to people about this, they always tell me 'Oh, you don't really love her' love dont exist is same fairy tale as santa is real also the fact you want new gf prove that
>Is there some sort of commitment issues I'm having? And I'm just having normal, horny 20 something year old thoughts? expect my advice to marry there also new thing that bother you no life goal for this one you need to find it yourself since i dont want or can force you to do what you thing is good in your life if you like sports good form team and play some matches like video games good play those or mix both you are full grow man you can decide yourself
Wyatt Thompson
Man just ask her if you can both flirt to see you are hot to others. She'll tell you stories and you tell her stories.
As it sounds now you just seem like you don't know what you want, just desire attention.
Jason Brown
Is it possible she might be open to non-monogomy, if it was mutual? If not, you need to decide what you value more - your relationship with her or the fun and freedom of being single. Hell, make a pros/cons list if you need to.
Xavier Edwards
this is fucking terrible advice never listen to reddit about relationships This is a poo in loo probably virgin Fucking worthless idea Just cheat without her knowledge and see if you feel bad about it. If you do it'll straighten you out
Gavin Roberts
I'm in the same boat OP, I love my girl but my hormones keep telling me I'm not doing what males do by not talking and being around different women. Theres no malice or anything, I'm just stunting myself. I mean shit single was depressing but for some odd reason the complete freedom with women makes it alluring. I assume that's why dudes cheat due to wanting cake and eating it too
Jordan Reyes
Not OP, but sadly I'm tempted to do this myself just to see.
Ayden James
I have asked her before how she would feel about opening up the relationship before and she said she doesn't want to, she only wants me, which makes me feel worse.
Well shit, at least I'm not alone.
Andrew Sanders
>Just cheat without her knowledge and see if you feel bad about it. If you do it'll straighten you out
Yeah and also ruin his main relationship because of it. No person can love one and be cheating at the same time on the long run psychologically speaking.
OP, just talk to psychologist about this. You are clearly having some commitment/self-worth issues. Better start somewhere and find some help before it's too late.
And as other anons pointed out, don't listen to people on reddit.
Lincoln Moore
Yeah it sucks man. My moral compass is going haywire on the daily. Most days I love her to death and even see myself having a future with her, but then there are days when I wake up wanting to act like a complete dog, I recently abandoned tinder, but that doesnt stop me from staring at customers while I'm at work or even flirting with co workers. Hell the other day I got a co workers number just for the hell of it, I have no intent to fuck. Like I feel like on some level I have to keep myself open since nothing is set in stone and shit can end suddenly. Ain't shit sadder than seeing a guy whose divorced not knowing how to act and talk to women cause his wife is the only thing hes known for 30+ yrs.
Hudson Morris
>paying 150 dollars to talk to a psychologist about this
Fuck man, i guess ill just figure it out on my own
Bentley Brown
Amen
Jacob Hernandez
Break up with her for her sake. You're a shitty person. Just sleep around forever, no use trying to commit since you're incapable of it.
Austin Lopez
Lol, why you so mad? I haven't cheated, emotionally or physically and have no plans to do so despite another anons suggestion. I'm just trying to work through these issues and looking for advice.
Ryan Kelly
>Just cheat I was about to post this exact phrase. Just do it faggot. You obviously don't truly care. She's just a friend with benefits to you.
Michael Phillips
Am female same boat except married
Dno what to tell you Something like 90% of couples cheat emotionally if not physically. Just flirting to some is cheating. It's hell being human
Landon Allen
>for almost a year If you're having these thoughts this early, I would say that it doesn't look good for the future. >I'm just having normal, horny 20 something year old thoughts Yes, now go and get it out of your system. Regret is inevitable no matter what you will do now.
Ayden Gutierrez
>Something like 90% of couples cheat emotionally if not physically This is like a whole new tier of /cope/.
Elijah Rodriguez
How?
Elijah Bailey
Never change Jow Forums.
Zachary Bailey
The grass is always greener on the other side. If you have found a woman that you love and have many things in common with her, you've won the lottery. Do you think you'll win the lottery again if you leave her?
Dating sucks. Tinder sucks. You want to flirt with women? Go do it and don't get physical. It's called having a conversation. Pump and dump gets boring without emotions involved. Why would you even want to sleep around? Its like you want STDs and drama.
I'm 32. My sex life isn't great but I've went through a couple of relationships over the last decade. I just want to settle down at this point. I wish I could have settled down years ago. My brother, 30, started dating his wife when he was 22. He has a son and another on the way. If your gf is wife material, please stay with her. You'll regret it later.
Benjamin Miller
my brain actually hurts from trying to read this
Jordan Peterson
Everyone else hooks up and has nothing really going for them and most of the 1st world is on some sort of antidepressant. I'm a 29 femanon. Every guy I know at my age and above is burnt out and desperate to have something real because they wanted to dick around in their early years and now they have nothing left to choose from but used up whores or women way out of their league that wont date them
