Can't let go of boyfriend's intimate past

youtube.com/watch?v=FlYZnd7dEPw

Think of it this way, you're also used goods now if you drop him and go for another dude.

Why are you still asking him so many things about his sexual past if it's hurting you?
Just don't do it!
I find it cute that he was your first sex and kiss, but c'mon dude it's like those dudes who ask their gfs "HEY HOW MANY COCKS HAVE YOU SUCKED"

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Why are you looking to the past behind you? You should be focused on making new memories with this person.

My girl doesn't like that I've slept with over a dozen... And if she knew it was actually over 100, we'd fight even more.

Truth is, I'm only with her cuz she has only slept with one other guy, her first bf when she was 16. Otherwise she' wouldn't be relationship worthy.

That's horrible! You should dump her and let her find someone else worthy. You can't hold the same expectations for her when you've been manwhoring around.

What can you do about it? Nothing, it's in the past, it's lost to the flow of time. So instead of focusing on the present moment with your bf, you focus on what's past? And not even in your own past? Let go, move on. Focus on the present and on what good memories are to come.

I'm a 19 year old guy, thinking of losing my virginity to a girl I am currently dating. I know her last 3 partners.

I honestly never thought I could love someone like her, but I do, and I suppose I just have to accept how life is.

dunno if I in the wrong but man, I love her, so I am in the same boat

obvious bait post
but feeling like your body and your sexuality contaminates people is not healthy. this is a horrible way to think for men and women.

I would try to move past everything but he said he doesn't regret his actions! He said he has had no problem with those intimate relationships he had in the past which makes me feel so insecure.

Why should he regret it?

because he should have wanted to have those sexual and intimate experiences with me rather than the other girls.

Why do they make you insecure? Why should he regret it? Why would he have a problem with those past relationships? Get off your high horse faggot. Did he know at the time that he'd be dating you? Of course not, how could he? Stop being a bitch about that which you can't control and look ahead. I recently broke up with a girl that was constantly insecure about the fact I was more experienced than her. It's not helpful and probably not healthy.

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>asks why should he regret it
do you not see my thousands of above messages of why I think he should regret it?

This is horseshit. Did you expect him to receive your psychic love thoughts from the future or something?

It's bullshit when guys guilt-trip girls for doing this, the same is true with the genders reversed.
You're being self destructive at this point, so pull your head out of your ass already.

>how dare someone have intimate relationships before being with me and not regret it
Get over yourself cunt. Break up with him and go find a virgin guy if you care so much. You're just like the autists on here that only want a girl if she's completely untouched by other men

After many years of trolling this board I've learned to stop getting into it with people over this matter and simply encourage them to get older. Everything seems really fresh and painful right now because you're young and you want everything to be "special" but that just isn't reality. Its going to take quite a bit of time, age and perspective before you appreciate how silly you're being. Ultimately your feelings don't have anything to do with him or his past. You feel this way because deep down your fear of not being good enough makes you feel threatened by any chance he might think that another girl is better than you. It hurts you because you're young and you don't have the tools to process these feelings in a healthy way. Like I said, give it some time. All of this will make sense when you're older.

I'm trying to move on and it's hard. I disagree with the whole special thing because people can chose what they want to be special and that is this case for me.

You disagree because of confirmation bias.

He was given opportunities that you didn't have yourself. It's as simple as that. If he is still sticking with you despite this freakout of yours, that should really tell you something.

I agree that people can choose what's special to them, so do that and stop making these things so special before they tear apart your relationship

I understand how you feel, my girlfriend took my virginity but had sex with several others before that. But what really bothered me is that she didn't love them and couldn't even feel any pleasure with them she only did it because of severe depression and didn't care about herself, as well as being manipulated.
I have gotten past it and love her dearly. Two things help, the first being what you did, asking questions and the second is time. I can't really help you with him feeling no regrets as my girlfriend has told me many times she regrets what she did. However, maybe he was in love so he doesn't see it as a regret? Sorry I couldn't be more help.

I'll try my best to move on, it still hurts thinking about how he doesn't regret those actions.

Of course not - slamming new pussy is fucking amazing. He probably thinks about how great it was fucking those other girls pretty regularly. Stop being a fucking psycho, OP

Hi, fellow femanon same boat.
I feel extremely anxious when it comes to my boyfriend's past because he's had FWB, superficial hookups, you name it and I'm also a virgin.
What you have to do (and what I'm trying to do) is let the past go. The past is the past and it'll never change no matter how much you worry about it. You shouldn't be hurt that he doesn't regret it. Why would you WANT your boyfriend to feel sorrowful and hate his past? You can't control his experiences and the time you two met. He loves you and is with you now and that is all that should matters. Your stuck in the past mindset might seriously hurt your relationship. Think of what the future could be with happy thoughts.

I bet your bf is a hot, epic dude who treats you right.

You right you right

He is, he's so sweet to me and I love him so much, we talked now and things are all great :)

Not bait. And because I have been around the block, I can be particularly keen to female sexuality. I am not interested in dating females that let any dick in their holes.

Femanon, think about the long-term. Remember what he means to you and his role in your life. How much he'll love you, take care of you, marry you, work for you, raise kids with you, everything... take your mind into the future.

You're overwhelmingly living in the present and haunted by the past. You will be his first wife. You will give him his first kids. There are so many firsts out there. Has he been to disneyland? It's amazing; and not expensive either. Go to disneyland together and be firsts=)

I went to Disneyland for the first time with a slut I met on tinder this year (I'm 28). And that was so much more memorable and important to me than anything else I ever did with her. I feel those memories at least once every two days.

But that's just me, and just one example. Does not have to be disney land, could be anything. I'm trying to get you to use your imagination here and break into the future again.

Happiness is always in the future. Think about it. Anything good that's ever about to happen to you is always in the future. Even if it's only 2 seconds in the future.

Let's say right now you feel bad because you're thinking about his past. You think about all the firsts that you missed. So you want to escape this feeling of bad. If you feel bad right now, then in the present that is all you will ever be -- feeling bad. But in the future (even seconds or minutes in the future), you will stop feeling bad. Maybe it takes longer. Doesn't matter. The point is, is that the happiness you're craving is inside the future. You can find relief from the feelings you have by rebuilding your relationship with the future. Embrace emotions like excitement, desire, hope, longing. Even negative ones can get you pumped sometimes... like worry, fear, and anxiety.

So tell yourself now "All these problems I feel with him will be solved somehow, not sure how yet, but somehow... in the future. And I can't wait for that time to come:)"

you're welcome:)

Guess you're out of luck then.

>it still hurts thinking about how he doesn't regret those actions
He's probably not a bad person, it's probably just a matter of consciousness. Everybody only does what they think is right, and what is best for themselves. He can't, yet, perceive that being intimate with you and only you would render him a happier life, a tighter relationship, and any other benefits I may not think of...

It takes the eye of an artist to help people like this. Because basically you have to show them a better world by explaining it to them.

Imagine you meet a guy and he lives in a house. Empty, just a table, bed, and dishes. White walls. Basic windows. It's super boring. But he seems happy and ok with it.

Then you tell him "um. Your house is not good. You should regret living here"
Then he will get all defensive. "Why would you insult MY house, I worked so hard to pay for it all ,and I'm very happy with what I have"
"But you could have more"
"Why? I don't need more! I'm happy like this"

When this happens, the only way to fix it is by being an artist.
So let's backup... you walk in the house, and now you say...
"Could you imagine how cool this would look with curtains and orange walls? When the sunlight hits the carpet in the afternoon?"
"hmm yeah actually I can..."
"Oh! What if you put a TV on the wall here, and a sofa here. But not any sofa... one with pillow arms... and we could snuggle in our PJ's and watch movies"
"actually that sounds great"
"And I could cook us snacks with these new dishes"
"

get over it or find a new one. nothing about this can change except you

get rid of him for me, let's date.

What are you twelve?

Why should he feel bad about past relationships. You are demanding of him to not have a past and emotions about it.

Life is not a fairy tale and people never had such standards. Men used to be encouraged to fuck around before settling down, one or two relationships in the past is nothing.

/thread

her past is none of your business, what matters is that she's with you now and if you can't accept that you're an insecure loser that doesn't deserve a girlfriend

Why the fuck should he regret living his life before you came along? What the fuck is wrong with you?

sorry din't read right the first time
you should brake up with him, he's clearly an asshole

well its normal to feel the way you do, but its also normal for your boyfriend to stand by what he did because that would mean he delegitimize his past and the girls he was with.
One way to look at this is people are human, no one has a past that is perfect and if they do its only a matter of time before they do something that people feel its a mistake.
Remember your boufriend is with you now. And focus on that now rather than then. Be happy with what you have, because you are lucky to have someone you love right now.

He said that he doesn't regret his past because he doesn't care about it anymore since it was a long time ago. But it was made clear that he said that he would have rather shared those first experiences with me instead so I think I'm all good now.

>and fingered another girl
I fingered 2 exes before losing my virginity to my actual gf and I fell the same as you. Jealous of my gf past experiences. Thats my level of hypocrisy.

(OP)
I don't know, I used to feel the same about my ex girlfriend. If you can't deal with that, maybe you're better off alone. The best thing to do is just stop thinking about it somehow so...

NOW YOU HAVE TWO POSSIBLE PATHS:

1: YOU CAN STOP BEING A RETROACTIVE CUUUCK.

2: YOU CAN BREAK UP WITH THIS ASSHOLE YOU CALL BOYFRIEND.

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>couldn't even feel any pleasure with them she only did it because of severe depression and didn't care about herself, as well as being manipulated.
lmao

>But what really bothered me is that she didn't love them and couldn't even feel any pleasure with them she only did it because of severe depression and didn't care about herself, as well as being manipulated.
Sorry mate, but that's a big LIE. Your gf, my gf and the next guy's gf, all are fuckings whores for enjoy other dicks. That's the true. It sucks. Deal with it.

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>I had my first kiss and lost my virginity to my boyfriend so the fact that he has this past and doesn't regret it really hurts me.
>what do :'(
Realize that first time is overrated as fuck and that you shouldn't work yourself out over this since it's rather trivial, actually. If you love him and enjoy the time you've spent together thus far, keep at it and don't let bullshit like that ruin your relationship.

This fucking thread again? Your bf doesn't regret it because scoring hot pussy is the best thing in life.

>But what really bothered me is that she didn't love them and couldn't even feel any pleasure with them she only did it because of severe depression and didn't care about herself, as well as being manipulated.

Pfft, yeah, okay, she told you that, huh? She just COULD NOT stop fucking because it, uhhhh, didn't feel good. What a lying cunt.

So you had your own firsts but you're mad that he had his own also?

You'd be surprises but there are females out there that don't just fuck every guy that gives them attention.