Gf broke up with me last year in october. The first 6 months I've been so depressed I couldn't do anything. After 6 months I felt a bit better, I could focus on college and hobbies. A week ago she texted me that she still has a photo-album we started making during our relationships (Photo-album was her idea, back when she was still "madly" in love with me. Has tons of cute photos of us together in it).
She said that she could give the album to me, or she is throwing it away. I texted her back that I will take it.
After she texted me I started seeing her in my dreams again. I start feeling like shit during the day again. Today I met with her. She gave me the album and then we talked a little. She has this new guy and she moved to an apartment with him after only 3 months of seeing him (We were dating for a year and also knew each other 3 years before that, and we didn't even plan on moving together). They bought a dog. The guy took her to Thailand and Paris for vacation. She is extremely happy with him and they will probably start planing a family together.
Seeing her face again made me remember all the good memories we had together. Which made me so depressed because we broke up, I want to fucking die.
Now I'm back home, looking at our album photos and feeling like I will never be happy again.
It's been 8 months since we broke up. How do I achieve happiness again? I tried distracting myself with another girl, but I just ended up dumping her because she wasn't my ex.
I know that time heals all wounds but I am different than other people. I'm way too emotional.
I still want my ex to be with me, but that will never happen...
What do? I want to live normally again...
(btw im 20 and this was my first relationship)
Gf broke up with me last year in october. The first 6 months I've been so depressed I couldn't do anything...
Op here
I forgot to write that I'm waiting for a meeting with a shrink (they're free in my country, you just have to wait a bit until they meet you). I am wondering if antidepresants could help me feel happier and make me embrace the fact that I will never be together with my ex...
Because from what I hear, antidepressants are usually very easy to legally obtain...
You met her at a time in your life that will be forever cemented in history. Your first relationship is your most important relationship that cannot change ever. You can do whatever you are doing every day each day and in your life but know that while you're doing whatever you're doing they are happy together somewhere else without you and she is not with you. You're being dominated and conquered by this guy every day for the foreseeable future
Pretty sad. She didn't deserve you. Focus on something else. you can do it !
>I'm different than other people. I'm way too emotional
Lol you're like 50% of people
I can't tell you to stop being pathetic, but block the bitch from all social media (why didn't you do that from the start, you know you're emotional you have to understand that thinking like this will destroy you).
Get a hobby, focus on building a career, not a fucking relationship, fuck bitches. Fuck around
Maybe you'll find someone to resonate with
Dude what the fuck
Be happy
You dodged a bullet
That bitch is a good digger
Think about all the other girls out there that can break your heart even worse
Op here
I did block her on social media (just not her number, i just told her not to text me unless its important)
I did focus on hobbies. I started going to fitness, started collecting albums on vinyl. It did kinda help me after time, but I just can’t completely forget about her.
She sounds really basic desu sempai.
Delete her number too, trust.
Also throw away that fucking photo-album if you haven't already.
Cut her out completely, and try your hardest to forget about her and enjoy everything else life has to offer.
I know it takes time. I was together with my childhood friend of 13 years and I eventually had to cut ties with her because we wanted different things (i wanted marriage, kids and she wanted to travel the world and party etc.). I had to cut her completely out of my life because we were incapable of being "just" friends, and neither of us could have a serious relationship with anyone else as long as we were in each other's lives.
It took me almost 2 or 3 years to "forget" her (you never completely forget ESPECIALLY if she was your first). I still care about her to this day, and she'll always have a special place in my heart, but the pain is gone. I have no idea where she is or who she's with and I don't care, because I have a loving girlfriend of my own who makes me just as happy, if not happier than she ever did.
It still hurts for you because you know who she's with right now, and you know what she's doing, and you know that she's happy. At a certain point, enough time will go by to where you have know clue who she really is anymore, or what her life is like, and you won't care either.
It'll get better OP. Time does heal everything, it just takes longer depending on the person/relationship.
I'd love a good digger as a gf
Find way to ruin their relationship or even her life, cunt deserves it.
>She didn't deserve you.
And this is why we can't have nice things.
If somesing shitty happens to you remember, you deserve it for being faggot.
>Also throw away that fucking photo-album if you haven't already
Im going to store it in my closet. But i wont look at it. I still want to have it when im older if i want to like show my children how my first relationship was
>i want to like show my children how my first relationship was
I don't mean to be a dick, but that's a horrible and retarded idea. Even if you don't look at it, you'll realize you don't want it in a few years.
Come on, dude. Do you actually think your future children want to see the girl you slept with before their mother? What about your future wife? How would she feel about you keeping an album of pictures of your ex? Are you going to keep this a secret from any girls you date in the future? You think they'd find it normal that your holding on to that? What if they found it? If you fell in love with a woman, and you found a love album of her and her old boyfriend in her closet, how would you take it? Would you not assume there were still feelings there? Yes you would, because that's the whole reason you want to keep yours. There are still feelings there, which is exactly what you're trying to overcome. They'll go away.
You can try keeping it if you want, but once you're over her you'll realize that shit doesn't matter and will throw it away yourself. It's one thing to have your memories of her, but keeping a physical representation of it your whole life is more obsessive than it is cute.
I'm 34 and I never had a gf. You're a faggot.
Burn the album, give yourself closure
>6 months
It may take years. You need to stop getting into contact with her. She's using you as an emotional tampon. She may be feeling inadequate or she wants to know she can fall back on you if her current relationship goes south.
STAY AWAY FROM HER
>i want to like show my children how my first relationship was
That's a stupid idea.
>cunt deserves it.
lol based on what? OP said that gf broke up with him, gave no context at all. Maybe OP was just a shitty boyfriend?
delete her number dude. change your number. move.
Not OP, but thanks, really needed to read that
>Im going to store it in my closet.
It's hard to leave things like this behind but it's literal dead weight that keeps you from healing. My dude I've been crying in the woods at night over a girl for months three years ago, was seriously depressed for a year and a few months, dreamt of murdering her regularly for two and a half years. It takes a long time to heal and the pain is unbearable but you have to leave that chapter behind, never contact her again, get rid of everything that reminds you of her
Here in the same boat OP. Broke up 3 months ago after being together for 4 years. We started trying to fix things but its not working anymore. I just want to fuckin die or kill myself. I loved her truthfully but i guess she grew out of love. Never been so depressed in my entire life. I had envisioned living with her forever now i don't know what to do
Keep going, keep yourself occupied. I'm and trust me, time heals all wounds
Bought some running shoes to maybe motivate myself and do something after work but really always just get home to an empty room, i dont eat, i try to just sleep most the time. I can't focus just thinking shes out there having the time of her life and im dying over here
I know it sounds moronic and a bit childish but embrace it.
Embrace the feelings.
Embrace the sadness.
Because those emotions make us human.
You only feel really bad because you felt really good at one point. If there would be no bad feelings there would be no good feelings. And at one point you realize you are starting to feel better again. Slowly. But youll feel better. And at some point you will find yourself in a new situation, happier then ever. Without even thinking about the time you are going through now.
Stay strong man.
Makes sense to me but It feels like i have a knot in my throat and hole in my chest. I can't let my feelings out. Its been months already and I just now started talking about this to people around me and my depression I couldn't handle it anymore. I want her to tell me to fuck off so I can grieve and continue but only thing she tells me is that she's hurt. Easier for me to cope if she'd give me a direct answer. Im stuck man
I kinda feel like the empathy in both of you is lacking.
Have you thought about how she is feeling right now? Why do you make it dependant on her to make the move?
What if she thinks the same as you and wants to get told to fuck off?
When she tells you she is hurt, did you ever ask her why she is hurt?
Did you think about how you can help her not being hurt?
Now this sounds like a harsh accusation from me, i know. But this goes for both of you. I kinda think that a open conversation with maybe some booze would help both of you. Even if that means you split at the end, but if that is what you both and together decided ro be the best - so be it.
Well this week we were getting back together and both agreed to be a couple again but take it slow to work out our problems. Im always the one to initiate conversations at this point i think ill just leave her alone, don't want to beg for her to return if she doesn't want to.
Says she's hurt after a big argument we had and both basically got personal on the shit talking. I've let her know that it was all shit talk nothing else. Both were mad and said things we shouldn't have.
That's what I've been trying to get to do with her is sit this out and talk. After that we fix this or go our ways but with a clear conscience. We ended up having another argument that she instigated this time and now were back to not talking. And at this point i think that was the end
>Fitness
Self improvement. Barely a hobby.
>Collecting
A pretty weak hobby considering you're not growing too much as a person.
I was talking more about art or some shit like that
What the fuck why
Dude when they met for that album she was talking about her new bf literally she was talking about spending his money. Love makes us blind especially if we're idiots.
How hard is it to get over a dodged bullet? I was a late bloomer myself but I got over the first bitch relatively easily
> btw im 20 and this was my first relationship
being this weak at 20
Die faggot
SHOuldnt of taken the album dude
OP, you might think she was giving it to you out of good intentions, but she wasn't. If she cared about your feelings, she wouldn't have contacted you. Why open wounds like that? She just wanted to rub salt in your healing wounds with her new boy toy.
Delete all possible ways to contact her. Make it so that you can't. You have no need to. It's better to be alone than to be with someone who will do that to you.
I don't think she intentionally does this to me...
I don't think she realizes how attached I was to her, and still am...
Feel like she moved on and expects me to have moved on as well.
She even said that she wants to be friends with me and hangout sometime, which I obviously declined.
But I don't really see her as an evil bitch that just wants to mess with me emotionally. She just doesn't get how hard it is for me.
Also I'm still interested if AntiDepression meds could help me move on faster.
You're Stockholming yourself, mate. Just do yourself a favor and cut her out, as painful as that might be, it'll do you a huge solid and you'll look back after a few years have passed and will see that it was well worth the effort.
>then im older if i want to like show my children how my first relationship was
Don't fucking do this, you nitwit. If you don't understand why, just listen to me and eventually you'll understand why.