Raised genderless where feminine behavior was celebrated by a feminist mother who covered the house in vagina art and...

raised genderless where feminine behavior was celebrated by a feminist mother who covered the house in vagina art and wanted me to be gay since I was 5.
How do I cope with this, my heart is constantly hurting and I’ve self harmed since I was 10.

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Cope with what? are you still living with her? If so, then get outta there.

No you weren't

After you turn 18, you are fully responsible for your own emotional intelligence and growth. You were taught to be XYZ, which means that you can and have full ability to UNLEARN things you don't like too. (Like a racist child learning to become non-racist. Same thing.)

You've been groomed and conditioned and it's going to take time. I would do as says and get the hell out of there and find a place that you want to live and create a new life that YOU want - not what mama wants.

No offense but your mother deserves the death penalty. It'll take time to undo the damage, but I think you should try to find normal, positive hobbies and interests and stick to them. Also find normal and positive people to befriend, so they can influence you positively. Try sports, reading, lifting... Try the really masculine stuff in particular, you gotta go to the other extreme until it balances out in the healthy middle.

Good luck out there and fuck your mother

Yes I was. She touched me sexually too.
I’m 18, I’ve already saved money but need it for uni

Yes, of course she did.
>raised genderless
>feminine behavior was celebrated
>wanted me to be gay
These are all conflicting beliefs user. This reads like a right wing baby's first librul family fantasy.

I’m left wing if you have to know my political beliefs, my favorite author is Mark Fisher.
Either way it’s not like I wrote down my childhood, she gave me girl toys to play with but I never played with it, she extensively talked about her gay friends and pushed it onto me telling me that it’s normal if I’d do something with my other young friends, she touched me, and she rather punished ambitious behavior and wanted me submissive, she took pictures of me after she put makeup on me while I was crying. She didn’t have some fucking master plan for me, just whatever she wanted at the time.

bro kill your mum and say reddit radicalized you

There are plenty of other options besides university. I'd report your mother to the police, even if you don't think it's going to do any good.

>my feminist mom tried to force me to be a girl
>oh and btw she molested me too
gr8 b8

wish it was, my entire life feels like a bait.

Not just a girl but genderless and gay too. Even tho the lgbt* don't believe you can be genderless and gay.

Well, are you gay?

no, I never said she forced me to be a girl, and she didn't molest me but touched and rubbed my penis while kissing me throughout my childhood, so just touching but not molesting.
She said something around the lines that she raised me without gender but like, she didn't call me by a genderless pronoun or anything. I was still a boy, who she wanted to wear makeup and play with dolls, and told me that I should experiment with other boys since I can remember existing. I don't understand it and that's why I'm asking for advice to cope with it better. It's a mess and I can't really explain it since i was so young.
a bit bi

I'm not sure there's a lot of advice for you, OP. It's probably a relatively new form of abuse, or at least its frequency only increased recently.

You're better off asking for advice on reddit honestly. People here don't take things seriously.

lmao people on reddit will tell him that his mother was right to do that and he's a bigot for questioning it

>reddit is one person

''people on reddit''

You took my reply bit a too literal.

How about you stay on reddit then since it's so much better?

Damn, sorry user, I suggest you get out of there as soon as you can and get a therapist because I'm sure there is lot of things that you yourself haven't notice or addressed and that means you need a second opinion.

i will tell you that liberals belong in camps

>These are all conflicting beliefs
Sounds like normal leftist operating conditions to me.

>taking bait so deathly serious

she's really not, other than feminism she's very apolitical

call your mom to your house tell her what she did caused you to fell this way at the end say you fell like suicide is an option make her regret ever doing this