>Gf cute qt anime redhead girl >We meet each other online >First date >First person I had sex [Was a virgin] >Discovered she cheated on me >Fast-forward, got other girls >She regretted and tried to contact me >She tried to ks >We tried a couple times but never work out because of her problems >I moved to other country >Started working and studying >Went back to hometown >She again apologize and wanted to be with me >Drop out of college a public college [big deal in my country] and went to live with me >Live with me now >She lied about one thing and we had a fight, I told her that She isn't the woman of my life, that I will get a better one [Was angry] >Apologize >3 months after >Obsessed with self-image, thinks she isn't worth for me, keeps crying and don't want to see herself on the mirror
Please user, don't associate yourself with people who make you feel bad. She's obviously not loyal and she seems to have lots of issues. GTFO
Adam Rivera
Dude, you should have bailed a long time ago. You're posting this because you know you need to bail.
Do it, DO IT NOW. Not tomorrow, not next week, or next year, or 5 years from now.... NOW
Jordan James
You're dating her again? Haha, holy fuck man I hope this is a joke. Seriously, I hope to god that this is all one big joke. If not you're fucking retarded, and she's a complete waste of time.
Aiden Myers
She doesn't have a place to go, did everything to be here and I still like her
Logan King
Hope you enjoy your life falling apart man. It's either that or you never communicate with her again, your pick. One thing I will tell you, you can't save her. She's gonna be fucked in the head forever no matter what, only a therapist can help. You need to leave or you'll just end up hurting yourself even more.
Send her to therapy, she has severe issues with neuroticism and impulsivity which need to be confronted. Another thing you might want to ask her is whether or not she has been molested.
She needs to spend some time alone with herself getting treatment. Honestly, you're probably not going to be able to change or help her in your situation.
Alexander Ward
She's already been to multiple one's, they gave her medications that made her fucked in the past.
Why? and how? thank you for the book suggestion
Thank you for your reply, did you think asking this will be a good idea? I am pretty sure she has something, because if she didn't liked me at all she wouldn't do all those thing and give up her life to start with me right?
Robert Anderson
>They gave her medications Psychiatry is a meme, she needs behavioral therapy. Especially if medications have proven to not work. >Is asking a good idea Yes, she needs to be confronted about the origins of her insecurities. Be confrontational, not aggressive. She is showing classic symptoms that are the long term effects of molestation. Don't outright say "molested" just say something along the lines of >"has someone hurt you before? Is that why you're like this? I want to know so I can help you. Then whatever her answer tell her to seek treatment. I'd prefer behavioral therapy over medications btw.
Blake Carter
I said therapist. Psychiatrists are the ones who prescribe drugs. Which, mostly are a meme. Some people really do need them and they do help a lot, others it does nothing, some it makes them even worse off. What she needs is therapy. And what you need is to let go of her for good. You're just hurting yourself dude.
I don't know you, but I assume that you also have somewhat low self esteem. Or something else, because most people would tell her to just fuck right off. She's a parasite leeching off of you, literally. You don't need her, she needs you. Stop enabling her and stop ruining your own mental health.
Grayson Gray
>She's a parasite leeching off of you, literally. Self serving faggot detected. People like you are just as much a leech in society as the mentally ill
Colton Bennett
Thanks guys, I will talk about the therapy and I might have low self esteem as well because I keep having her. I dated many girls before, but a actual relationship I only had with her. So for me feels special .
You're goddamned right I look out for myself first and foremost. If I'm not in good shape I can't look out for my family, my friends, etc.
I tried playing the white knight like OP is and it's done nothing but cause harm to myself. You need to look out for yourself and loved ones (who aren't harming you.) That's it. If you think even for a second someone is using you or if you offer them advice and nothing changes at all, time and time again, that person isn't worth your time. It's common sense. You can do better dude. Trust me, you can. You got a big heart but you gotta use your head when it comes to stuff like this. You'll find someone worth loving to give all your care towards, someone who returns that favor and thinks about your wellbeing as well.
Chase Gray
Dude she isn't a parasite, she's mentally I'll. People who suspect Machiavellian tendencies the most are those with Machiavellian tendencies.
Just saying
Jeremiah Hernandez
You say that she has gone to therapists, but have you, user? Your line of thinking is dysfunctional and unhealthy. You are self-sacrificing and do not know how to say 'no'. You do not know how to allow others to take responsibility for their own responsibilities. You think that you have no power over your situation and that you are a victim to your circumstances. It's time to sit down with someone to learn about boundaries and self-care.
Dominic Cook
>You're goddamned right I look out for myself first and foremost. If I'm not in good shape I can't look out for my family, my friends, etc. Why care for family or friends when it's only you that matters? If they get in the way of you then you merely abandon them until, what, they die? The only way those people get better is by someone intervening in their lives, if you're only willing to go so far as to tell them what they ought to do then abandoning them upon their refusal, you're really not much of a man. Someone like you takes relationships far too lightly, the kind of man who cuts anyone out of his life and will suffer no consequences for the sake of others will receive the same treatment. Keep that in mind the next time you're down on your luck, don't know what to do, and are too confused to trust your options.
>I tried to white knight Aka you had one bad relationship and have used that as a nadir fallacy to project on anyone with some manner of issue in order to spare yourself their pain. I've seen your type around. White knighting is not the same as having basic compassion no matter how hard you're going to hide behind that pejorative. >it's common sense that if you give them advice that they don't take to just jump ship and cut them from your life completely No, it's common sense to understand your limitations and to know when to call someone else for help.
Don't call yourself a man when you show such selfish cowardice. There are times to cut people from your life then are times to assist them. Mental illness is not necessarily the same as malignancy. Telling someone to not have pity on someone he loves is purely selfish and weak. You are the radical opposite of that wife married to an abusive husband who makes excuses to the police every time she gets knocked around. You are , however, no different in the value of your character. Accepting the pain of others you truly care about is a part of becoming a better man. Realize that.
Justin Cooper
There is a way to be there for someone without losing yourself. Making yourself a priority doesn't mean that you do nothing to love and care for your significant other. It's enabling to shield someone from the consequences of all their actions and take over their responsibilities. It is unhealthy for OP to act as her father or her therapist rather than as her boyfriend.
Isaiah Young
Yeah I know, but let me explain something, this story has a lot of grey areas and I will explain why
We planned marriage and she screwed up lying, I tried being with her but the lying especially because of her mistakes on the past made me really be a psycho, so I said enough I said that I wanted to broke up. She went to my mom's room [we live together], I explained that she fucked up and that she doesn't want to leave. She works with my mom and stays in my house, we live together. My action of saying enough made her really self conscious and paranoid. I wish we just dated but not living together because she won't leave unless I am a total asshole, she left her public college that she study a year to be here, leaving friends and everything behind. I told her we don't have plans together anymore, but we still have sex, go out 4 to 5 times I week and love each other, it's complicated
I do agree that the user you're speaking to is flawed to think that unsolicited advice is the only answer to a mentally ill significant other. It's egotistical and controlling for anyone to assume that they know what is best for someone else. But it is very important for an individual to still take care of themselves even while supporting the mentally ill significant other. Often times people will sacrifice their own life and sanity for the sake of the sick, trying in vain to "fix" the individual, going much farther than simple support.
Lucas Smith
When I said lying, was a issue about the past It wasn't cheating this time, but I hate lies.
Elijah Myers
>because she won't leave unless I am a total asshole
Are you saying that you wish that she would leave you, but have decided that because she won't leave you, that you can't leave her? That you can't reevaluate your living circumstances, that nothing must change in the living circumstances, that you can't move out, that you can't ask her to move out, that you can't break up with her? Am I understanding you right?
Gabriel Morris
Yes, there is a cut off point you need to make when dealing with someone you cannot help. At a certain point you need to realize that you are unable to help someone yourself, in which case there are other people willing to assist you. Then there is also the fact that some are just too far gone to be helped, though they are a vast minority.
That is a grey area that depends on the situation. However, as you said, that does not mean you cut them off totally based on not taking your advice you just transfer care to someone else. There are entire professions built around these issues ffs
Lucas King
Basically...
I am saving money to just leave the house and not come back. Leave family and her. go to Europe. I don't want her to know because we will cry a lot, but if I Tell my parents they will they her for sure.
Levi Perez
She'd probably kill herself, honestly. What country are you from?
Luis Davis
Born in the US but lived in Brazil. Returned just 9 months ago.
I am marrying her so she can have no excuse and have the visa here, I know it sounds odd but it's ok, using lawyers and cutting corners nothing bad will happened for me and she is really happy.
Kevin White
So it sounds like you have an exit plan. That is good. I think that you think that your girlfriend has less options than she does. There are resources to help women who are down on their luck, there are resources to saving money and receiving assistance when you are on-the-verge-of-homelessness as she is, there are women's shelters, there are shared rented homes with roommates, there are half-way houses, there are programs to help employ those who struggle to be employed, there are social workers, there are therapists, there are people who know what to do.
You can help her a little with these resources, and if you did that would be cool, but in the end, it is her responsibility to figure out how to live her life. If there are women who can escape from an abusive husband with three children in tow while not having worked for decades, then that means that your girlfriend has the potential to escape from the parents basement of essentially her exboyfriend.
It is not your job to save her. It is not your job to prevent her from hurting. You cannot sacrifice your livelihood in order to avoid her tears. You deserve better than that.
Dominic Martin
Only being chosen by Chad can improve her self-esteem. And you're not Chad.
Jose Martin
I Understand this, but we are together more than a year. Sleeping and eating everyday she is illegal and I respect her. She became really depressive living on her parents house, they are really controlling and she couldn't do nothing.
really fun mate, do you stay at you computer all day typing this shit?
Connor Ortiz
Anyway, thank you guys for all the help really appreciate, made me think about it ,life is complicated.
You're getting lost in the sauce, trying so hard to understand every variable and factor as you search desperately for the solution to an inconsistent system. It's cute because you haven't put yourself in the equation. "Why," you wonder, "does she think so little of herself despite the fact that she has the affection of one such as myself?"
Christopher Hughes
>OP is a sad cuck trying to "fix" his lying gf with therapy >Gf knows OP is a sad cuck >Realizes the best she can pull is a sad cuck >Spirals into depression Not that hard to understand tbqh
