Will men never be able to be married and not get the urge to fuck other girls simply because they crave variety...

>curvy

Ohhhhh I see. Well he's the problem. He's just very insecure and immature. He definitely married before knowing what he wanted and now he acts foolish.

He does control it. Whatever that‘s supposed to mean.
It disgusts me that this is even a thing. And i am aware of the biological mechanics behind it, yadda yadda. I‘m just so god damn tired of it.

I figured women get unfair generalizations here all the time. I‘m frustrated as fuck and wanted to piss some men off for, well, being men with their shitty loyalty and over the top sexual urges. And yes, i do think that this applies to every man ever. They just cope with it in different ways.

>Not that i know off.
>I‘m so fucking done with this, you can not imagine.
hahah

Yes, curvy. Meaning i got an ass and boobs. Now he lusts over girls with bodies that look like little boys.

Yeah, well, tough luck. Now wtf am i supposed to do with that information?

Post body. It's fine because it's just to get back at him.

A phase? How long does it last? What cures it? When do they have it?

Explain why this is funny

Fuck off. I‘m not letting him drag me down to his level.

Then just let him sleep around, why do you care? Better yet, join him

coolidge effect can apply to women too.

Just become a good cuckquean and manage a portfolio of your man's sidechicks.
You'll both be happier for it.

because youre angry over literally nothing
what is even the context here? does he leave you to talk to skinny black girls in the mall? or just likes on social media?
just stop being so fucking controlling
yes, married people still find other people attractive, get the fuck over it

Well ik you don't want divorce. I'm married too and when he was my boyfriend he had that phase. I handled it very strangely but effectively so hear me out: I acted like I was 100% open and cool with it. So much I told him to go try sleep with said girl. He tried, failed, got over it. It's been years and he never got back into that stupid phase again.

Based

Wait I replied like he actually wants to sleep with other women... Is he just attracted to others and mentioning it openly? You can just have a conversation about boundaries on what he shares with you

True, but can we really say women won't be attracted to other attractive men even if they have their partner?

You're not wrong, from my experience I'm a sucker for beautiful women but it's more or less only less than 5 that I always come back to years later. I wonder if there's a limit to the number of women men would get attached to. I'm the kind of man that has an above average libido so that's just an example from this guy, me. That said, when you get attached to people things can change you always have to remember what you had with certain individuals.

What advice are you seeking

I did and do that. I told him to get it the fuck out of his system. To go fuck some black, asian, skinny, whatever pussy instead of starting to put it on a pedestal as that one thing he will never be able to have. I‘d much prefer him not building up resentment against me because he thinks i‘m standing between him and all that delicious pussy he craves.
But no, he then claims that he could never do that, yadda yadda. I fucking WISH he would man the fuck up and go pound away his god damn cravings. I feel like he would feel very relieved to find that it wasn‘t even half as good as he thought it would be. And then we could get back to focusing on more important stuff.

You seem to be dating liberal men and porn addicts

>CuddlesfromIllinois

You're absolutely right. So if he says he won't actually do it, then maybe he's just sharing who he's attracted to. But it's too explicit to be shared with his wife. A conversation about boundaries is needed.

Don't ask.

>it's another "the central issue any woman can possibly have stems from them being overweight" thread

>I‘m pretty damn sure that if i was flat or black, he‘d lust after white and curvy girls.
how bout you try losing weight and seeing for yourself instead of speculating?

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I didn't :^)

Sexually, yes. I don‘t think a woman would ever crave another man just because he‘s physically different from the man she‘s with and she needs some variety. Unless her partner is grossly unattractive ofc. But that‘s a whole different story. I‘m talking about differences that are not more or less attractive from a neutral point of view. I mean, a flabby belly isn‘t hot, no matter what ethnicity one is, so that‘s not the variety i‘m talking about. I mean plain physical attributes like being tall or short, curvy or flat, light skinner or dark skinned, asian or nordic, red haired or blonde, etc.
I feel that guys might cheat just because they crave that variety. In my experience, women cheat for different (not more honorable...) ways.

So you mean you can be wit someone you love and desire and still crave about 4 other women simultaneously? How do you cope with that? Doesn‘t that make you miserable? How do you determine which one of those you actually are in a relationship with? And what happens to your attachment to the others? You can‘t just ignore it...

90% of cheating is liking others' pictures/"just looking"/getting aroused and testing the waters because it's not monogamous behavior. Women biologically deal with monogamy better because we can be friendly without thinking of the friend-person sexually. Men make opposite sex friendships sexual then get mad at women for not also doing so. We don't have dicks - we are capable of seeing others as just people we'll hang with and acknowledge later without sex happening, it's healthy. It's not controlling to expect a guy to think this way while in a relationship. The ones who fight it and fight to cheat/"just look"/watch porn are not mature enough for monogamous relationships.

Put out and men won't need porn

How to get him to get over this or how to cope with it

>porn addicts
Yes
>liberal
Depends on your definition

He‘s not sharing it. I stumble upon those informations. Like a friend of mine who he texted to come over when i wasn't there. She‘s very skinny.
Or the fact he looks up black prostitutes in the area. I mean, if it was just about jacking off, he could just watch porn like every other degenerate out there. The fact he looks up prostitutes strongly implies that he is toying with the idea of actually fucking them irl.
I talked to him about this and he admits that it‘s the case that he lusts after girls that are simply different. But then he refuses to go trough with it. Probably due to a false sense of obligation towards me and that‘s making me fucking livid because then he can act as if i‘m the one standing in his way when i‘m not.

>how bout you try losing weight and seeing for yourself instead of speculating?
My body is at his peak performance. And i have not once seen a case where losing weight has turned you black or asian or flat chested (well, that maybe, but my boobs are not fat boobs).

>Will ___ never be able to be married and not get the urge to fuck other ___ simply because they crave ____? Why are they so fucking ____? It‘s honestly appalling.
y u make this a gender issue? Bait?
If you actually want a solution, try to look at the bigger picture.
You're probably just here to stir up some shit or vent, though. That's okay too.

Imagine being so much of an incel that you think you need to be having sex or turning yourself into a cuck via porn.
There's a middle ground, masturbation. Not to others getting off either you freak.

You have never been in a relationship before, right?
That‘s not how this works. You can fuck your man‘s brains out and he‘ll still roll over to jack off to someone who is your physical opposite.

Porn isn't getting pussy you idiot, it's getting cucked. Porn is women getting paid to look at and fake enthusiasm to a camera and a hundred greasy guys like you wishing badly it was just for you. You don't need porn any more than the first men did, who also may not have gotten pussy, and been fine. Heroes even. You're just pathetic. Lise porn and be a hero. An hero, that is.

Because it is a gender issue and if you refuse to acknowledge it is, you‘re fucking delusional and have zero knowledge about basic human biology.

Then ask yourself the same question with genders swapped.
>Will women never be able to be married and not get the urge to fuck other guys simply because they crave socioeconomic elevation? Why are they so fucking shallow? It‘s honestly appalling.
When you can answer this, it will point to the answer for your original question.
If you can't, you're a troll.

I personally prefer hentai, but thanks for the (You)s. Now I can go to bed satisfied :))))

Based and redpilled
2d women>3d all day every day
Just wish they were real

>So you mean you can be wit someone you love and desire and still crave about 4 other women simultaneously? How do you cope with that? Doesn‘t that make you miserable? How do you determine which one of those you actually are in a relationship with? And what happens to your attachment to the others? You can‘t just ignore it...

The thing is, when I'm with someone I only have enough attention span for that person if I'm taking my relationship seriously. If for some reason she dumped me but I was attached then I would still have lingering feelings like I did for the other women that decided to break the relationship for different reasons.

I'm saying I can only really think of those women I felt strongly about but only when I'm not with any of them. I wish I could choose, but I can't bring myself to do it. It could also have something to do with the fact I'm young, I don't know.

I go out everyday and find random beautiful women attractive, but I really only think about the few women that I had something special with. They all had something other women didn't, I can't bring myself to choose the 'better' characteristics.

The answer to this is yes and no.
No from a biological point of view. Women are programmed to flock to the highest power male they can possibly reel in (iow, political, social, financial, physical displays of power) in order to secure the most beneficial starting position for their offspring and also to position themselves in the top ranks in female hierarchy.

Yes, because we aren‘t mere animals anymore who are completely at the mercy of our base instincts. I firmly believe that humans can rise up to higher levels of existing than simple surrendering to their animalistic nature and that that‘s not just putting on an act but genuine. I do believe that this is possible for both genders to achieve. But i also believe that it is extremely rare to find. In the end, i have no one else to blame than myself that i thought my husband was one of those few guys who have risen above their animalistic cravings, yet it turns out he‘s in just as deep as the next guy. Maybe i‘m just frustrated about my own incompetence to judge people‘s level of maturity and mental refinement.

men get the urge but thay doesn't mean that you have to fuck around...

>when I'm with someone I only have enough attention span for that person if I'm taking my relationship seriously

So you‘re saying that men looking for different pussy is a symptom that emotionally they have already clocked out in their current relationship and now their sexual cravings are urging them to find a new pussy to impregnate and spread their seed?
That actually makes a lot of sense. I mean, biologically speaking, he‘s done with me. We have two sons. There is nothing i could give him anymore that he doesn‘t already possess. What he doesn‘t possess is kids with different gene pools. I guess i was just hoping that humans are capable of functioning on at least slightly higher frequencies than this animalistic version. Doesn‘t look like it at all and that‘s making me lose my last hope and respect for humanity and i can tell you, that doesn‘t feel nice at all. We‘re beasts and not an inkling more than that.

But it does mean that they wish they could. Which ultimately will make them miserable. Does that mean that monogamy is really unachievable is you don‘t sacrifice yourself in the process?
I mean, this would mean that no man can ever feel truly free in a relationship. He would always feel tied down to some degree. Is that really it? Does that mean men can never achieve true happiness when in a relationship because they would always have to suppress certain urges?

Married here. This guy is correct. I think about fucking other women every single day. Kinda wish I could just die in my sleep

I was warned but did not listen.

If you're a man and sex is important to you then don't ever get married.

Now my question is, how do i find a middle ground for this issue?
We have a family. I want our kids to grow up with a mom AND a dad. And i don‘t want them to grow up in the tension generated in a relationship that‘s a mere construct to keep up the social expectations.
I don‘t want my husband to feel tied down. That has never and will never be my intention. My goal is that every member of our family can function unrestricted. And i am more than willing to not clutch to dusty old ideas of marriage. He‘s not my possession. I love him and i want him to be happy. If what he needs to be happy is pussy variety, so be it. But how do i get him to stop holding on to old fashioned concepts of what marriage is? I know he WANTS to fuck other women. I know he gets fucking hard and excited even thinking about it. But he keeps himself caged in because he‘s afraid me giving him a free pass is some sort of a trap and that it is not what one does. How do i get him to see that i‘m dead serious? Because my issue isn‘t that he wants to fuck others. My issue is that he thinks it‘s me who keeps him from doing so and hat he then starts to resent me for it. I don‘t want the person i love to resent me for something that isn‘t even true.

Well, from an instinctual point we haven't really changed all that much from our caveman ancestors in terms of how our libidos work. We control urges using social and cultural factors and depending on the individuals involved it can work to an extent. I'm happy to hear you have your own offspring and I'm sure you're a committed parent. I don't know what your spouse may be going through but if I was in his place I would see the people and things I currently have in my life and do what I can to make sure they're ok. I also have a desire to be a dad one day and I'm afraid I will fail as a parent but I would try to do my best to raise individuals that can get along with other members in their community.

That was me, op.

So, why don‘t you do exactly that? Why do you feel like you can not have both, pussy variety AND a family/wife?

Either you're okay after all, or u troll me gud.
If you can come to those conclusions, and people are willing to discuss them on a Saskatchewani tumbleweed collector's forum, there's got to be some hope for the existence of other reasonable people out there, right?
Blame doesn't help. Whether it's blaming yourself, your husband, or the male species. Look for responsibility, rather than fault. You can't do anything about fault, but you can take responsibility and use it.
I'm sorry the husband is letting you down. You can't force people to change. But you can nurture growth in others, and you can always choose your own behaviors.
You can change the situation, if you want.

>If you can come to those conclusions, and people are willing to discuss them on a Saskatchewani tumbleweed collector's forum, there's got to be some hope for the existence of other reasonable people out there, right?

That makes a lot of sense and actually gave me some hope. Thanks user.

>Blame doesn't help. Whether it's blaming yourself, your husband, or the male species. Look for responsibility, rather than fault. You can't do anything about fault, but you can take responsibility and use it.
I'm sorry the husband is letting you down. You can't force people to change. But you can nurture growth in others, and you can always choose your own behaviors.
You can change the situation, if you want.

I‘m aware this isn‘t anyone‘s fault or that there isn’t actually someone to be blamed for this. I guess my op post came from a place of deep frustration about some human truths that we come face to face with every day. I WISH humans weren‘t they way they are. Yet they are and sometimes i don‘t know how to cope with it. But then again, the fact that there are people who know human nature and wish it was different, might suggest that humans are capable of rising above it.
Idk, i just feel helpless in the face of biology i guess. And i wish my husband would be able to see what the fuck is going on so we can find a solution. Right now he‘s just in big old denial and it‘s making it very difficult.

>sometimes i don‘t know how to cope with it
>i just feel helpless in the face of biology
You don't have to do it alone. Having a good support network goes an awfully long way. Sometimes just venting is enough. We're always here, but real face-to-face interactions are better, if you can make that happen.
Strongly recommending discussions with actual people who have previously or are currently dealing with similar challenges.

>i wish my husband would be able to see what the fuck is going on
You're probably well aware that if you bash him in the face with reality, he'll only balk at it. You're probably going to have to be clever. If only one of you can see the road, that's the one who is better suited to steering.
And since you're insightful enough to have at least acknowledged, if not overcome, the self sabotaging (or relationship sabotaging) elements of your own human nature, there's a pretty good chance you're capable of steering your marital dynamic in the right direction.

>Just a couple things to try on for size:
Consider therapy. But don't press it. Be the leader. Do your own first. Then, let him know it's done you some good, and ask if he would be willing to come along to help you in one of your sessions (men like to help, not so much being judged). Think of it as the gender-swap of "how do I get my girlfriend to work out".
Don't fight human nature. Work with it. Have you tried a bit of dress up or roleplay in the bedroom? Might do something to satiate his desire for variety, and might even be fun for you too. If you don't know what to try, tell him you want to, then ask him pick out a costume or game.

>disgusted at thoughts and urges we didn't ask for
Typical female. Missing the bigger picture entirely. At least by your ass backwards lack of logic i dont even need the tits and timestamp to know youre one but feel free to post anyways.

Is this possible not to be cheated on nowadays? Jow Forums gave me trust issues and I read my bf's messages (I haven't found anything suspicious though)