I think a big part of having a relationship is having the woman actually like you. I feel like no woman has ever liked me in a romantic way and I am 29. I often see little remarks women make as them liking me but in reality they could just be being nice? A woman just the other day while I was at work said "Wow, you look stressed! Try and relax a bit" she had said it with a smile which made me smile. Made me think she liked me?
Anyway, how do I actually feel out if a woman is being nice or actually likes me. I highly doubt a woman has ever liked me in a romantic way ever. Which breaks my heart because I feel so old now.
TL:DR I have never asked any women out so why aren't they throwing themselves at me?
Same. No woman has ever shown interest in me. Sucks knowing I'm inherently undesirable, but such is life. Some people have to die alone
Why would I ask a woman out if she doesn't like me and has shown no sign of liking me?
get girl friends and just aim for the one that you feel comfortable with
Your thinking is backwards OP. You start liking someone after you get to know them. Nobody is ever going to like you if you never get close to them.
So just ask out every girl in existence? Cool, cool, very cool
No, baka You make friends and be nice to them, then you can ask them out.
2 women liked me in my life. And i was dumb enough to refuse one because i was interested in another one (uglier) who friendzoned me.
But if no one is interested in me, how do I make friends?
Pretty much yea. You have to spend time with women to demonstrate your value to them. How much time do you spend with single women your age?
A bunch of time with the ones that are interested in me, which is zero, so none.
Ah yes, because and girl on existence let's your tastes.
Check if you have chemistry (eg you like her/think she is hot and she is nice to you back. Look up "indicates of interest" but don't trust puas) Ask her on a date, if she says yes she might be into you if no, you move on.
My current gf didn't think of me romantically until we went on a date. So just ask her out for coffee or a beer/cocktail.
It's hard in the beginning but you will figure it out eventually. Good luck
So let me get this straight. You are never around women and no women show interest in you? So what are you expecting to happen then?
Here is another question for you. How often do you show interest in women? Why do you expect them to do all the work when you won't make an advances yourself?
My issue is that I am never in position to really ask a woman out. The majority of women I like, are at my job. I don't think dating women from my job is ethically correct?
I also feel like I only ever see a woman once and thats it. I just hate not being able to build that rapport because I just don't see women often enough. Or rather, I don't see the same woman often enough.
By not being a fucking ugly weirdo and having hobbies that are more normal.
Different guy here. I am not ugly myself I think. IN fact, I think I am really presentable. My issue is that I just have a very hard time getting a woman to meet me half way I guess. I feel like I am walking on egg shells when trying to get to know a woman and seeming too eager will make her ghost me. I have been ghosted a shit ton. So much so that I very carefully think and mull over everything I type to them. Also, dating websites just aren't working for me. I don't want to resort to "shot gunning" but a friend was saying that as a male, your only hope is to "shot gun" and pray some woman messages you back. He also said that I should try and date fat women to get experience but I am not trying to play with anyones feelings like that.
Not the OP, but what's a place where a socially maladjusted 27 year-old weirdo like me can go to learn social skills? I can recognise that, aside from things like poor grooming and being a dullard etc. (things I'm working on) a large part of the reason I'm still a dateless loser virgin is because I don't actually go out and meet people; but at my age, who out there is willing to put up with my stunted dunce bullshit?
Did you try real life dating?
I would love to try real life dating but finding women to actually date is near impossible to me. I feel as if I can't find women in real life that are my age. Like when driving, I look around and all I see are old people or middle aged people behind the wheel. I don't see anyone in their 20's and shit. Thats probably just bias shit going on in my head though. I just don't know if its appropriate to try and date women like that? For example, I would love to date women from my job but I just don't think thats a good idea but I don't meet women anywhere else.
Sorry for the delay. I am around women a lot, especially when uni is in. And yes, no woman has ever shown interest in me. I guess that depends on what "showing interest" means from men. I check girls out but generally don't make eye-contact or smile. I don't expect them to do all the work, just to let me know my effort won't be wasted entirely
You have to actually go where women are. Cafes for example are almost guaranteed to have women in their 20s there at any given time.
yeah but what do you do in them? For example, lets say I go down to star bucks like right now. What would I do or even say to women in there that wouldn't be creepy? I can't imagine just walking in, looking at a woman reading a book, go up to her, SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF HER and then just start yapping. Seems so alien.
same for me. 23
What effort? You don't even make eye contact or smile. Hell you are intentionally acting standoffish and expect women to show interest in you? Again you have to actually talk to them and get to know each other. You are just one of 1000 guys they see each day so you need to go out of your way to make yourself known.
Not starbucks. Find a nice cafe with a casual atmosphere. The one I used to go to had a weekly discussion night and I met tons of women there.
I was in the same boat you guys are. I was 29 and had been out of the dating game for years. There was no chance at meeting any girls through my work or my circle of friends, so I looked into online dating instead. That shit can be demoralizing due to the heavily skewed ratio of men to women, but it did yield results. Went on lots of dates with a lot of different women. Some I had second dates with, most I never contacted again. Finally met one that I clicked with, we kept dating, and now we're married.
My advice is to go into this sort of thing with low expectations. Most girls you match with won't respond to you. Don't take it personally. You're one guy out of who knows how many messaging her. It's simply a numbers game unless you're really good looking, and even those guys can struggle sometimes. Just keep at it and eventually one will respond and maybe your initial conversation will lead to a date. You go on that date and maybe you are both interested in the other enough for a second date. Maybe not. Probably not. Maybe she's looking for something different than you. Maybe you're looking for something different than her. Don't get overly attached to anyone at this stage of the game. Maybe date two leads to something more. Who the fuck knows. Dating is how you both get to know one another. That's how romantic shit develops - over time while being around and doing shit with each other. No one starts off falling in love. That shit is just dumb Hollywood bullshit.
So yeah. Do that shit. Good luck to you.
Oh I get it, that's difficult than. Maybe find a hobby where you can meet new people, it's a natural way to find friends and potential partners. People go out to clubs to meet women, but to be honest I have no idea how to do this myself Else you can try online dating, I think many girls look for bfs through the net.
I mean, if I could just catch one (1) stealing glances at me, or smile at me, or something, I would probably open up a bit. But yeah, at this point in my life, after 22 years of social isolation, I do purposely make myself unattractive and perhaps "scary." I haven't shaved my face in months, my hair is long, and I wear bland and beat up clothing. I failed and I don't blame women for not wanting to associate with. Normies in general, really.
This is why I haven't interacted with women that much either. I just don't know how open women are. If I ever did see one looking at me longingly, I could for sure act on it but women just don't do that kind of shit to me.
Man social skills are hard to improve later in life, but it's possible. First of all be confident with people, man or women. Secondly just spend time in groups, this will increase your social skills passively. Additionally you can read books about how to be more social, psychology and stuff like that. Don't put yourself down like in your post, nobody wants to hear you whine. Just try to improve yourself and try to find things about you that you like. If you consider yourself garbage, people will notice!
Who gives a shit? No woman has ever made eyes at me either. I'd bet that most guys would tell you the same thing. Women are even more shallow than men when it comes to appraising looks of the opposite sex. That being said, they are also more willing to settle than men are. So there you go. Believe me, I am an overweight motherfucker who hides his lack of a chin behind a beard. No woman is flicking her bean at the thought of me, but I've still had plenty of girlfriends and casual flings. Stop using that shit as an excuse to not try.
>go to starbucks >be in vacinity of women >hold doors or eavesdrop on conversation >make a small nonbodily compliment "I like your nails, that's a nice color" "I like your shirt/hat/accessory" "*comment about the weather or public holiday or traffic*" "*comment about eavesdropped topic that isn't overbearing*"
Well yea if you look like a hobo then it drastically lowers your odds. Clean yourself up to start.
I only engage in activities which have a reasonable chance at yielding the desired result. I don't try out every game on steam to figure out what games are good, and I don't read every book in the library. Problem is, women involve much more effort and the only outcome I want is sex or children. I don't have the time or desire to waste on them, regardless of how much I'd like to experience sex before I die.
Do NOT mix your job with that. Find her outside the office, it'll be better for everyone.
If you want those rewards (sex or children) then you have to be willing to put in the time and effort to obtain them.
Meh, weather or traffic or asking the time is Overdone : using contextual stuff is great though! Basically,don't come with a preset,they know it & plenty of dudes might have used it to get her before you.
If all you want are these 2 things & not a decent wife in addition, you will have much disappointment... You could have the first one by going to a brothel, you could get the second one by donating your seeds/adopting a kid. (yet you chose the more classic,decent way)
Thank you for the advice. >If you consider yourself garbage, people will notice! It's true though. Life came at me hard this year and I'm still coming to terms with the fact that "normal" (socially and financially) is something I can only aspire to.
I am human garbage but maybe, just maybe, I'm recyclable.
Do you think it matters if I am black? I feel very uncomfortable trying to interact with women I don't know because I am black also. I always draw up these wild ideas in my head that most women are thinking "Why is this fucking ape talking to me?" when I talk to women in public.
Lol, I think girls don't usually look at guys longingly. That sit only happens on movies haha
Probably doesn't matter much. Many women will not care about your race. Some will but some will also prefer black men. It mostly depends on where you live and how many black people are there.
Just act like a proper gentleman and you will do fine.
Normal status is the best most people can get with all of their effort. Don't look down on normal. You should watch fight club again. This reminds me of the monologue in the bathtub. Think about it.
What I hate not knowing is if a woman is on the market or not. I don't like asking a woman out and finding out she is taken because then I just look like a creepy bastard trying to snake a married or taken woman. Like in what way can you ask "Are you single?" and have it not be weird?
I want them but not enough to get them, but I question what is fundamentally so different about me that I got left behind socially while some guys get these things easily. I know, I know, "that's life,l and " tough shit" but still.
Just ask them "are you currently seeing anyone?" If they say no then ask them out on a date immediately after. If they say yes then oh well.
Its not weird at all. You are a man and they are a woman. They know whats what and if you have been talking to them for the last 10 minutes then they probably assume you are somewhat interested in them.
>but I question what is fundamentally so different about me that I got left behind socially while some guys get these things easily.
They didn't get team easily. There where just willing to put in the effort that you are not.
Did our Lord and savoir Elliott Rodger rise from the dead?
Imagine actually believing this kek
Everything that improves with practice is a skill, but I guess it's easier to blame it on something you can't control.
>That shit only happens on movies No, it only happens when you're +7.
Do women really not show interest in other men, even if it's platonic? I don't understand this shit at all.
No she's just being nice. Even if a woman starts flirting with you, it could very easily be that she's bored and just what a self esteem boost. The most important thing for you to remember is that you must like her if she is actually a good person and not because she shows interest in you. It's difficult to tell the difference between the two.
Dude, that's part of the problem. Women smell lack of confidence miles away. Real life isint 4chinz so nobody thinks like that
Of course they do. I've seen how my gf acts when she sees a really attractive guy. Doesn't bother me one bit either because I'm still the one fucking her that night. She's probably thinking of that guy while I'm boning her, but I'm also thinking of some girl who's hotter than she is. Everyone is like this, so you might as well just accept it and move on.
I should make this into an image macros. That's how frequent I use this same advice in this board. >Love isn't a flu you get, it's a house you build.
If you think you love someone, there are only 2 possibilities: 1- You actually love them because you've been through a lot with them. 2- You don't and is misundertanding some other thing with love. People easily mistake a quick passion hype with actual long lasting love.