Can I please have some examples of how therapy has helped people?

Can I please have some examples of how therapy has helped people?
Everyone says "go to therapy" and "do what the therapist says". But I want to know specific ways therapy has helped people.
Because I'm becoming very skeptical about therapy and how it works. I only tried one therapist though, but to be honest I don't think it helped me. He just gave me generic advice like what I read on the internet for free. So how did therapy work for those who claim they managed to defeat depression through therapy?

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I started looking for help because my body dysmorphia was ruining my life. My best therapist taught me how thoughts, feelings, and actions all influence each other. For example, a thought about my appearance would make me feel upset, which would make me stay home and avoid my reflection, which would make it easier to believe the delusional self-image I had in my head instead of looking at reality. She taught me how to break that cycle by noticing patterns and seeing if my thoughts/ideas actually held up in real life. She also taught me how to calm down and put away my worries for later instead of letting it consume me. We got to the roots of my problems... my shitty childhood and even worse adolescence... so I could understand it better.

Re-examining my own perceptions became a habit. The obsessive episodes got shorter and shorter. I started to look in the mirror again, and do things that I never thought I would be well enough to even try.

For contrast, my worst therapist told me that everyone gets older so I should be grateful for how I look now.

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For me, it helped just to have someone to talk and vent to. My counselor was very nice though and she would always recommend me helpful movies or books to read since she knew I liked to read.

I think just the act of taking the steps to care for yourself and your wellbeing is spiritually healthy. The fact that you made the effort to go see a therapist in the first place and actually go through with it shows how much you care and want to get better. It's not easy for everyone to take that step.

Self love is the key.

>For contrast, my worst therapist told me that everyone gets older so I should be grateful for how I look now.
My therapist told me I need to enjoy my life ASAP because the clock's ticking. He was right but now I'm terrified of aging.

My counselor told me "feelings are not reality" and that was so helpful to me. I still remind myself every day.

I kind think about that as well, the whole "they are just chemicals and not REAL" but it doesn't really work for me. I didn't get that from a therapist though so my thinking may be flawed or just not for me.

>My counselor was very nice though and she would always recommend me helpful movies or books to read since she knew I liked to read.
That's pretty cool. Mine would sometimes quote lyrics of 80's songs to make a point about something because he knew I liked 80's music.

>fortuneteller error
Is that the same as anticipating that things will turn out badly, just to be prepared for the worst?

It depends. There's a difference between having a pessimistic streak versus deciding that things are going to go badly, and then letting that "fact" run your life before anything has even happened. A pessimist applies for a better job anticipating the worst, but is open to the possibility that he might succeed. A cognitive distorted version refuses to apply for the job at all, and therefore lets himself be stunted.

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I think she just meant that just because you feel a certain way, doesn't mean it's true.

I could be scared shitless for some reason right now, but then i look around and realize I am in my room and safe and have no reason to think I am in danger. That's the reality.

Don't confuse what you are feeling with what is actually going on is what I take from it. It's been very helpful for me anyway. I project too much, so maybe that's why.

How nice. I wish I was still seeing mine, but I'm pretty sure she moved away.

All the others I talked to just seem so sterile and technical. She had that warmth to her that made me feel at ease and like she actually cared.

It always surprises me how many assholes go into that field.

It didn't help me, just gave me an excuse to live a shitty life cause
>I'm in therapy
>I have depression
>wahh
And they convinced me to take ssri's which fucked me up.

Just fix your life. Start with any chemical dependencies first. I still wanna die everyday, but at least I have fleeting moments of happiness.

Don't be a bitch

Just curious. Did you go to therapy because you wanted to or because someone told you that you had to or to make someone else feel better?

I was coerced into going by my parents. Although I was over 18 at the time and genuinely made an effort to make it productive, I didn't just sulk and grumble at the therapist. I actually got on pretty good with him, but ultimately I had to solve my own problems and I didn't do any of that until after I stopped therapy. I didn't just fix my life overnight, but I've come so far from where I was 5 years ago.

I'm still probably depressed though. I say probably because I don't really know how normal people feel all the time, but a lot of the time I feel like life is over burdensome and I live a pointless existence. I just keep busy with hobbies that I enjoy and moderate thrill seeking activities and it's all good. I don't necessarily 'enjoy' these things in the moment, they just distract me and are fun to look back on.

Right now I'm in kind of a funk over a girl so what I wrote above is extra edgy. Life is just what it is. I try to take a stoic perspective.

Well, my point was that you have to make the effort for yourself. You can't do it for someone else. So it's no wonder your therapy experience wasn't good if you weren't sincerely wanting to work on yourself.

No one can give you a purpose or tell you what to do. If you are tired of feeling like shit, work to better yourself.

I can already tell by the way you type that you have self-esteem issues

>normal people

So you don't see yourself as normal? There is no such thing. Or rather, if these "normal" people were in your shoes, they'd probably act the same way. it's relative and we all have the power to change.

If you are aiming for some unreachable ideal, it's no wonder you feel inadequate. You are setting yourself up for failure from the beginning.

Its like asking if a personal trainer is for you.
There is nothing a personal trainer can do for you you can't find out on the internet if you're really research savvy, and if you have the will and determination you can do yourself.
But some people really rely on an educated qualified expert to educate them, hold then accountable, give them a time and place to adhere to, and challenge them. A therapist is the same.
Therapy also isn't exactly mathematics with an objective outcome. There's a lot of talent and intuition involved with being a good therapist so a bad experience with one doesn't mean therapy doesn't work. They just might not be all that good at their job.

Tl;Dr
Therapy is extremely helpful, even required for some, but if you have the right resources, research skills and will you can definitely treat yourself.
It really just depends on you, and then it depends on your therapist.

>Well, my point was that you have to make the effort for yourself. You can't do it for someone else. So it's no wonder your therapy experience wasn't good if you weren't sincerely wanting to work on yourself.
I mean when someone is in a shitty place of their life they have to get pushed to do things. I absolutely was a willing participant and felt like garbage the whole time that I would go and say
>still smoked a lot of weed
>still worried about the future
>yada

My experience wasn't good because I'm salty they suggested ssri's and because they weren't mean enough. A lot of people in my situation need a Jordan Peterson style character to tell them to fix their shit because nobody else cares. Don't say I didn't give it an honest shot any my opinion doesn't count because my parents played a role, I made my own decisions, I went for months on my own accord.

>If you are tired of feeling like shit, work to better yourself.
One doesn't always follow the other. But yeah I work to better myself everyday.

(2/2)
>I can already tell by the way you type that you have self-esteem issues
Depends, but it seems

>So you don't see yourself as normal? There is no such thing. Or rather, if these "normal" people were in your shoes, they'd probably act the same way. it's relative and we all have the power to change.
>If you are aiming for some unreachable ideal, it's no wonder you feel inadequate. You are setting yourself up for failure from the beginning.
Exactly so there is no such thing as normal, it is unattainable. If I feel like shit every morning and question whether to end it that's normal and part of who I am. I don't need to fix that by taking pills and lobotomizing myself. If people benefit from a therapist good for them. But only you can change yourself, and that was exactly my experience. I quit my vices, started studying hard, etc. I don't really have any ideal. I just identify where I can improve and then attempt to do so. It's an incremental process and in these past years I've made tremendous gains. The only thing left is to form a family to carry on my legacy and share this with. That's not unreasonable at all.

Therapists don't really give you advice, they just try to make you feel listened to. It's helpful but it's not *that* helpful.

Thats one form called talk therapy which works for some things. There are a lot of others that do involve advice instruction and technique

How do I know if a therapist is good? And is it possible that I may not be able to fix myself or be fixed, not even with therapy?
How do I know if I should do everything my therapist recommends?

I realized I’d been through a lot of trauma and lacked empathy for myself. Got diagnosed with ADHD and now medicated. You get out what you put in. If you really wanna delve into yourself and understand why you are the way you are and gaining tools to control your mind and emotions. Went through a few therapists before I found the right one who respected my decision to get over my shit without antidepressants. I went from being on a path of self destruction and wanting to die to finally pulling my shit together to focus on my goals in life I’d convinced myself I couldn’t achieve. It’ll be a lot of work that feels like it’s going nowhere or even making you feel worse at times. Just gotta push through it knowing that the only other option is going back to your previous fuck off state of mind.

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I'm looking for a new therapist rn. I have a session on Friday.
My last therapist did help in some ways. A lot of it was just reassuring me that my ex's behavior was out of line and I wasn't crazy.
But she also made me feel like we were going around in circles in the sessions. Like we weren't really making progress?
And it seemed like she had issues with her dad and was projecting them on me. I mean my dad is an asshole but I also don't feel bad about him not being in my life. I hardly think about him at all. Felt like she just constantly wanted to talk about my dad and it actually just made me feel bad without relating to my situation.
So Idk if you feel like your sessions are going in circles and she's projecting something on you try to find another therapist.

I signed up initially because of dysmorphia which is a lot better now. It's nice having someone to dump on though so I keep going. It's frustrating because none of it fixes your life, you still feel miserable and depressed and frustrated as much as you did before, but now you have 'tools'
Therapists are mostly cops, their only goal is making sure you keep truckin' (literally dont quit your job user capitalism needs you bs logic)
I'll keep going, life is kinda lonely with no partner. They get pissed if you're a total negative nancy though, I'm like sorry I'm not the one charging $200 for this session.

What's dysmorphia? Are you transgender? Did you transition?

body dysmorphia not gender dysphoria

I actually tried HRT for a few months but I don't think it's right for me.

A therapist is not like a mechanic. You're not just going to take your brain to him and then wait while he fixes it for you. Most of the work you'll have to do yourself, and the therapist is a guide for that journey.

And mechanics charge less.

At least you pay a therapist for the actual work they put in and not some bullshit estimated time. Mechanics are hustlers just like most other professions. Doesn’t invalidate their usefulness.

I was the type who'd never have stepped foot inside a therapist's office, for fear of judgement. But, via Elliott Hulse on YouTube, I started reading into Bioenergetic therapy. I found a nice, informative website, which turned out to be written by a therapist who worked in my state. I shot off an email immediately, expressing interest in Bioenergetics. Before I knew it, I was "in therapy"

For a year, I traveled across the state once a month (except in winter). Then I moved over there, but had to move again and thus stop the therapy. I still do the exercises, though.

The bottom line is: you will never ever undertake the work that you'd do with a therapist on your own, to the same extent or level of devotion. Half the value is making that work you do regular.

for how long did you visit your therapist? I go to therapy about my body dysmorphia too and now I’m doing worse than before, was it like that for you too?

>For contrast, my worst therapist told me that everyone gets older so I should be grateful for how I look now.
lmao what a shithead

Having someone to open up too and tell anyone your secrets like your best friend is really helpful. Also them being professional about it helps so much because there is shit i wouldnt tell my best bud i told my therapist.
Its like getting things off your chest that you are ashamed of but dont have to go to church for.
I keep in mind that the therapy is always a long process, in any form of therapy is a long process. So i want to feel better but I dont know how, and my therapist will help me find it.

Therapy is helping me overcome my childhood neglect, become more self aware, replace maladaptive and harmful behaviours with good ones.