I just want someone in real life I can talk to. I love Jow Forums. I've tried a depression chat room and it was terrible. I wish I had someone to talk to in person, who isn't just a therapist who gets paid to pretend to care. I feel completely alone
Im going insane
Im at my all time lowest and theres still room for my life getting worse. Im terrified I want to stop existing
He thinks I'm in a relationship? I haven't been on a single date the past year n half. Wtf he thinks I'm doing with my time? Fcuk
I'm just so tired of feeling like I'm nothing to you.
I just want to spend time and be with you, I just want to be near you, but you never allow me unless it's on your terms.
I try so hard to find stuff for us to do together too, things that you like so you can do your hobbies at the same time: "Hey teach me about this, I wanna know about it too." "Want to read this with me?" "Let's watch a movie together, your choice" "This game looks fun, can I watch you play it?" "Want to do this with my friends and I?" "Can I go with you and your friends?"
But it's always met with: "Maybe another time" "I'll think about it, maybe later tonight or something" "This is something that's better to be done alone" "Oh I made plans with my friends tonight, maybe tomorrow" "Nah, I'll pass, that's not my thing" "I would, but you wouldn't like it and it's probably not safe."
And when you finally "find" the time, it's when you know I had something important to do and have to cancel or I "never do anything" with you or "include" you.. and then I feel awful because I either have to bail on my friends or make you feel not included.
So I'm mostly just doing nothing hoping for the off chance you do want to do something with me.
I guess this alone time is starting to make me see that I've always been your last thought behind everything and everyone else.
I just want to feel like I'm loved again by you, like you actually are willing to find time to be with me.. I don't know what else I can do for that.
I'm just so close to walking away from this all.
I don't want to, I'm scared to, I want to be there to help and support you... But you're leaving me with no other options.
Good for you! Put yourself first because they surely aren't.
I'm really trying to do that, the good memories are what make it really hard to do though.
I don't know what the fuck you want from me. I don't know what you hoped to accomplish in telling me your feelings. You clearly made your decision that this wasn't anything well before you even told me, yet you keep saying all the right shit to keep me coming back.
I get you're confused, however stupid I think it is that you are so in the first place. But you know precisely the kind of hope you build when you say this shit. Let me do what I tried to last night, which is work on getting past you. I can't keep going like this for the next 3 weeks.
I just fucking can't.
If you continue to hurt yourself and allow them to control and use you? Those good memories will be tarnished and worthless. You will resent them too much. Let go now for your sake and keep those happy memories happy.
I remember writing something like this.
Turned out she wanted to fuck.
Kinda funny though.
I know she wants to fool around, she told me that yesterday. But she's in a shitty relationship back at home, and is dumb enough to think that it will last much longer when she gets back. And when I try to get over it on my own terms, it "somehow" makes it back to other people and I'm getting labeled as antisocial or having people fucking worry about me. I'm over all this shit, man
I can't afford a burial plot.
Jeff, I want to improve myself so you and everyone else won't see me for awhile. I assume this will be a relief to you, I do not think you are fond of me. But the next time I see you, you will see a changed person. I won't be the same, I will be what I think I am meant to be. And hopefully you will be proud I made it. Goodbye for now, and please don't get the wrong ideas. I am a good intentioned person. I don't want to cause any discomfort to you. I just want everyone to see I did it, I attained happiness.
I should probably end things when they're on good terms so those memories won't be bad in the end.
This hits close to home
Fucking FINALLY someone smart on here, questioning things. He is a hacker, that's how he knows. I almost want to kiss you for getting it.
Turns out I've been in "love" with one of the women who molested me this whole time, I just wasn't aware. The more I remember, the more fucked up it gets.
It's all so tiresome.
I wish for a loaded gun to appear next to me every morning. I wouldn't have a second thought before pulling the trigger, aiming at my brain. I used to despise Jow Forums for being toxic, degenerate, hopeless and crab mental. But it is all real and alive.
I am genuinely tired of waking up and working my ass away. I can easily become a millionaire within a few years, but I don't think money can solve my problems. I have tried exquisite escorts, high-end drugs and alcohol. I've tried mutilation and suicide. I've tried therapy and friends and family. I am afraid i am approaching the end of the line. I do not wish to speak to anyone for I shall be forgotten nonetheless. I just want to know that the reality of this planet is a hardhitting one, certainly not something I had expected when I was a kid.
I am not sorry one bit for this massive faggot of a world. If theres anything I need to teach those who wish to face live and the reality it is this: You are nothing but a memory waiting to be forgotten. Remember your great great grandparents? Thought so.
You will all see me again, and this time not on this fucking board. Godspeed, god. Godspeed.
Fuck I wish you’ll find serenity and hopefulness someway. You don’t seem to want a life of bliss, but the other extreme of harshness is gruelling to many of us, and on that note we share.
On a smaller scale life isn’t all that bad (saying this, though last week I wanted to end it all)
I hope you make it man
You'll never find the solution in a syringe, or inside of a woman, user. The solution has always been inside of you. You need a change of pace. You've already admitted that the life you lead isn't the one that brings you happiness, but you force yourself to continue down it because you've been told that this is what happiness is. You've simply become disillusioned. Go take a trip, talk to people, and find yourself. Hell, go camping for a bit, and just hole up in the woods. Sometimes a bit of isolation is a great thing. The world is an overwhelming place.
I know your pain though.
I told them happy birthday was two annoying words, but now I wish they had said them to me.
My family will just say that anyway, but only one of my "friends" will. It just reminds me how alone I really am.
I wish I could find a deal for birthdays that let me just drink at home cheaply or I could go to a restaurant in some little secluded booth, tell them it's my birthday, get the discount and have them hand it to me and just not care. I wish I could go to a place where all the waiters are just robots who won't sing or feel anything so I just go out, get my stupid discount and be as sad as I fucking want to be.
You are going to stop toying with me, you have to stop. Please.
I'm either really depressed more than I even thought I would be, or I am as sad as I thought, but also physically ill.
I can't tell...
I wanted it to be you at one time but I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry.
But I'm not
Its ok. I couldn't either. I was so alone for so long my patience broke. I needed to replace you, you have too much power over my emotions, I am too weak to be your equal.
Why, why do you want to hurt me? I left. I left damnit. Just like you told me to.
>You are going to stop toying with me, you have to stop. Please.
I'm not toying with you. I genuinely want you to leave Jow Forums, and never come back. I never again want to see you, nor hear from you, nor read anything written by you. If I see you anywhere near me ever again, I will put a restraining order against you.
To my husband:
Everyday I cry, you can't see my tears. Thank you for your vows, thank you for showing me how much you love me. This year is an unhappy one but it won't be next year. I promise you, if it's the last thing I do.... Happy birthday. You are my sun (and you know that).
>I wanted it to be you at one time but I just couldn't do it.
Really? You wanted it to be me? So then why did you marry your fiance?
You should feel sorry for your husband. I certainly do.
>Why, why do you want to hurt me? I left. I left damnit. Just like you told me to.
If you left, then why are you still here? I want you to leave and never come back.
I would never like you. You aren't a good man, you aren't a brave man, you do not care for anyone but yourself.
Yes, I married him. He is 100x the man you are but you know that already.
I'm stuck in the purgatory of my memories by compulsion. I hoard them and then I read them. Afterwards I'll analyze every moment, every word uttered and contemplate the objects and the smells, creating a nearly-vivid picture of what once was. Even then I'll still find things to nitpick, how the weather could have been better then or what I should have or shouldn't have said. It's the tinge of satisfaction I find knowing I still remember and the fear that I have forgotten which keeps my obsession fueled. I know what other people say. I'm caught in the loop of my past. But I feel happier this way.
Leave me alone raul I am not her
Fuck what do you want from me YOU broke up with me broke my heart i lost all my friends and you stopped talking to me then you call me drunk saying i miss you do you know how selfish that is and you still don't want a relationship fine i accepted that but when i made new friends you get jealous and attack me just because i talk to other girls.
And now you're saying you can't trust me and you hope we're happy together so i stopped talking to everyone because everything i do seems to upset you and i know i shouldn't care you don't want me but i still love you and while you have a massive support group I'm all by myself scared to open up again or be freinds with anyone.
So thanks im truly alone now and still the only person i need is you
Since I started working here the person working the shift after mine has been 10+ minutes late or didn't even show up more times than they've arrived on time or early.. Every fucking night these people are late. Every fucking night I get out late.
i am sorry, so so sorry. i dream about you every day n night. i miss hugging your warm body every night. tears and blood are the only thing that came sense you left me. i will return your stolen pokemon cards as soon as possible. i just thought it would be a funny joke but its not because you spent your money that you were going to use for child support on all those pokemon cards i stole. if you respond to my text i will drive over to your house and return the cards and mabey we can hit the bar again like we used to. i am crying every night. i am truly sorry about the cards
i want to fuck my best friend's girlfriend
Do you think I know how to do this any more than you do? Lol.
Well, yes, I would expect you to know better because you went to school for eight years to study about these things, while I spent those same eight years playing video games.
no balls you wont
I guess because it's all anonymous I'll let it out. I'm sorry for having sex with you. I'm sorry for not giving you my all before it was too late. I'm sorey for putting all that pressure of my soul on you when you can barely take yours. You're my elephant and I wish I could still be your frog. Life was a lot simpler when I was your frog. I know that trust has been blown out the ass and you need time to heal but I'll be there for you no matter what. I promised you I'd never give up on you.
How many boyfriends have you had by now? I'm assuming that you've had at least four. Surely you must've mastered your psychobabble sufficiently to talk your way out and into any situation. You have far, far, far, far more experience than I do. I have absolutely zero experience.
F u fatty.
No, none. Never found one that interested me until now.
I've been asked a few times though.
Oh. I know how to talk to you and what to say I just can't here. Like at all
I can't here because it's public and I wouldn't ask you personal questions here
I got a transfer to another store and I start Monday.
I'm honestly feeling a bit nervous because coworkers tell me the clientele can be rude and self entitled (it's in a heavily Jewish and Armenian area).
Granted I feel that happens everywhere.
On the positive side, at least I'll know two people from the get go. Plus it'll be nice to meet some new people, maybe even a few friends
It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them! It's them!
I know. Youre here to?
Took you awhile to figure that out, huh?
I've suspected it since the year 2007, but I've spent the past 12 years desperately trying to find someone who could indisputably prove me wrong. I have yet to find such a person. The truth is a lot more horrific than anyone could ever imagine.
I've been stuck in this depression too long. I have no idea how to get out of it. I know a hobby or friends would help majorly, but I've just become so socially inept from isolating myself so long. I just literally dont know how to form interests or friendships anymore. It's to the point where I'm concerned about having undiagnosed autism or some shit. Its pathetic, but hey, its life.
You feelin' bored or something?
Please stop larping over me. Thx
No I am not. Sorry
It wasn't for you. Something just happened with a girl and she went to go get her phone right away so it made me worried maybe she is here and checking if I'm going to make a thread. I think she's on Jow Forums to
Yeah that was me
You have such a kind warm hearted eyes, Ronald
No, it was me!
Are you talking to one specific person, or multiple people?
Wait. If you're serious I'm about to ask you a few questions because I seriously need to know something
I'm about to ask!!! Is it you srsly
Sorry. I just miss you.
I can't seem to maintain any close friendships. I have maybe 1 actual friend, and a myriad of acquaintances. No actually close friends at all. I seem to make them every once in a while, but then that goes away withing 2 months. Either I screw it up or we just suddenly stop talking for no reason at all. This did bother me a lot for a while, but recently I've started to look at it a little differently than before. I'm not missing out on others close friendship, they're missing out on mine.
Behind those eyes lie rage-filled hate burning with the intensity of a thousand suns.
I miss you too, but surely you know why we can't be anything even though it makes me sad.
Quiet, you. You have a spouse. I have nobody.
I know. If we had made our moves on each other before I met him things would have been different. I still think about you every day. I am trash because of it.
Hey, say something!
It’s not that horrific
Smoke weed everyday
Then you don't know the whole truth.
Is he rich or something, I don’t think he is. I don’t care though - he’s what I want.
My penis is dead and I can't drink alcohol until tomorrow so life is pain.
The Annunaki are very real, and they are here with us right now.
Oh. Yeah, hi.
Wishing for everything I was lacking in
I was greeted by a person
That was nothing like me
Even so I couldn’t help but go with it
Sinking ever deeper in the sea
Love me please I’m begging you
I know I’m not much
But then again
I’m made of egoselfishness
When you look at me
Who do you really see?
This lonely toxic clown could be...
Mayday! If you find out that it’s me
Don’t need to hold me close
In fact just leave me be
Hey mayday! If you find out that it’s me
All that I ask is that
You simply laugh at me
MAYDAY! Go ahead and fire away
Since honesty is hard for me
To find these days
Hey mayday! Go ahead and judge away
I chose to be this kind of person anyway
MAYDAY! TELL THEM WHO I REALLY AM
Since everything I know’s
About to meet its end
HEY MAYDAY! TELL ME WHO I REALLY AM
DID YOU FIGURE OUT THE ME
YOU KNEW WAS JUST A SHAM?
I said I'd try not to go on long rants dumping my shit on you in the middle of the night. That was literally yesterday and I already want to talk to you again, but I don't want to just offload my problems anymore. I want to talk about the times when I'm actually happy, and I want to talk about the ways I control my mental state. It's been made so clear I'll never get back what I lost with you, but yet I try anyway. I wonder that if I just talk at you enough (but not too you, as that certainly isn't an option now) then maybe eventually I'll say the right things so that you'll respond. Maybe eventually I'll say something to make up for what I did. I really do think sometimes that the reason you stopped talking to me is because I was so rude to you, and i hope that maybe something I say can remedy it.
But I know that on the very inside you’re smol and sof baby meowch
My husband and I have a lot in store for you. It's going to be so beautiful to watch it go down.
I want to see you.
I want to see you
Everywhere I look there's always someone better at something than I am. It makes me feel like shit. I wish it could motivate me, but instead it just makes me want to hide away and convince myself it doesn't matter.
This happens all the time. I get hurt, my self-esteem is tarnished, I hide. It just seems impossible. I'll never be as good as anybody else! I'll always be shit, and everyone else will always be masters effortlessly doing things I could only daydreamnof doing
I haven't had my period in over a week from when it should've started now. What should I do?
Women are my greatest weakness. I'm such a hopeless romantic. I guard my heart, but then I find a girl I like and I just lose all self control.
I got one in mind right now and I'm trying to wait for the right time so it's not awkward, but with my luck lately I'm not too optimistic about it. I'll do it. I'll ask her out, but until then I am holding onto feels along with the rest of my life. I mean it's nice to have a crush, but it's also scary to be at the mercy of someone else.
Come home please? I love you and want you here even if Im asleep