GUIDELINES:

Femanons, why do some girls feel like it is OK to be physically and verbally abusive towards men just because they are female?

I'm not attacking women with this post, I'm honestly curious. My mom was always abusive in this manner and believed that she wasn't abusive because she was female. I've been apprehensive about dating because I don't want to get into a relationship like that and I fear that if that happens I won't be able to explain how it hurts without getting laughed at.

Sorry if this question is dumb, it's my first one in this type of thread.

Same reason some men do, I would say. Because they're shitty people.

girls are just horrendous emoji users, they can't not use them

I mean we use memes, frogs, etc to express being smug, being sad etc to communicate our feelings to online strangers. We can get quite abstract with them, expressing sadness while hoping to get a laugh out of an user, or to hope that other user out there knows how we feel. But girls seem to use emojis differently. It's like social lubricant to them, the smile and body language they can't get across over the internet, that they use in real life.

I would look more at her actions as a whole though, if she always replies to you, it means she cares a little about what you think of her, so then just move on and ask her out. Talking when you eventually want to ask her out is like foreplay. It's polite, it's a little courtship, it's the game you and her both know you're playing. But at some point you still need to just ask her the fuck out else she begins to mis-categorize your interactions as not courtship.

Why would a girl say yes to a date if she says she isn’t ready for a boyfriend at the end of it?

Free food. Bored. Curiosity. Gentle way to tell you suck.

O-oh....

whats the explanation for male pettiness? im a guy and ive never been able to understand that shit, especially when it never makes anything fuking happen

Specify if male or female

From your experience, what makes you fall in love whit someone?

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>male incel virgin
>they’re at least a 5/10 and are nice to me

guy

her being qt helped but it was coming to like the fact she'd come around talking to me, or care for me, and coming to really like the way she smiled or laughed, I was relentless in teasing her sometimes but would pretend sometimes that I'd lost just so I could see her laugh out loud

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Guy, i'm kind of a goodie goodie 2 shoes so i fall super fucking easy for a bad girl, bonus points if semen demon.

You don't have to monetize yourself though. Just blog them on fetlife.

I love girls with nice long full hair. Is hair genetic or not? Cause some girls have really beautiful hair and others have short and flat hair. Is it genes or laziness?

Hair is genetic as much as the Laziness/impulsiveness is.

Also if they bleach it or bleach then add weird neon colors the bleach really kills it

How can I tell if I am attractive? I don't mean like one woman finds me attractive but in general attractive. I used to be very unkept and ugly and have changed quite a lot lookswise as an adult. I don't go outside that often because I never had confidence.

Anyone else used to be an ugly duckling and change into a beautiful swan?

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Nah bleach is something I detest so it wouldn't work for me either way.

You are very likely within the average range, because if you were ugly, don't worry, everyone would have told you by now, and if you were attractive, you'd know too.

Okay fair enough. Thank you.

I ma a manlet (5'7) and yet i have been approached by cute girls, some have even been quite straightforward.

Moral of the story, beauty is subjective.

It’s genes. And also how much work someone put into it.

male
it has to be something about her. i dont know how to put it in words but perhaps her being non-fake person.

>grew up as an ugly manlet
>girls always bullied me
>one even molested me when I was 4
>turn into chad lite during my adolescence
>fall in love
>think she's the one because dumb teenager
>it lasts for 2 years
>get cucked
>develop intimacy issues
>autoreject every female advance from then on by acting like a sperg and staring at the floor when spoken to by one (or multiple)
>even the ugly ones I'm not interested in are flabbergasted by the fact that I haven't gotten laid since 2013
I hate and fear women. How do I stop?

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Nobody finds me attractive.... why won’t any women give me a chance? Should I change my face and get surgery since I can now afford it? I’m positive my looks are a problem Because I couldn’t get likes on tinder and rate threads rated me low compared to basic people that get rated higher. I’ve also never received a compliment. This is me I’m 27 and never had a date or kiss.

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elliot rodgers.jpg
looks mean very little if you're not super chad, you need to learn the ropes of talking and being sexy rather than just muh looks, you look pathetic with this pitty party btw so it's better if you stop, good luck

I just want help with my appearance. I don’t see a problem in wanting to look better and being proactive about it. Looks definitely matter, you’re wrong. As long as you’re not attractive it matters a lot.... and it’s evident that I’m not. Nothing can be more pathetic than the whole opposite sex thinking my looks aren’t good enough. Idc how pathetic I sound

Copy paste brandon posts never ends huh.

Every person who's abusive has an excuse. If your mother was a man she'd say it was because her father raised her the same way. Or that you forced her to be like this with your attitude. Or it's because she's a victim of her addiction to alcohol/whatever.

Basically, the abuse comes first, the rationalization comes second and is just whatever they can find to justify their behavior (also to themselves, in most cases).

A big difference is that society DOES seem to buy this particular excuse more than different ones but that's also because of a general misunderstanding of how abuse really works. Basically the reason people will pretend it doesn't matter it is the same reasoning why people will pretend that mental abuse is not a thing because "you can just walk away" or "words don't hurt". It's being so out of touch with the nature and damage abuse does that you don't recognize it unless it's in your face violence.

You're crying bitch tears dude, you can score pussy even if you look like shit.

Girls, what do you think of dorky dudes?
And I don't mind nerdy, geeky, slightly autistic neckbeards, but fairly normal guys who are a bit clumsy, smart but gets confused over the simplest things sometimes, can read social cues but can be oblivious at times, different sense of humor, etc etc.

It's not something I can put my finger on. It's about how I feel around them more than isolated qualities about the person. I can find a guy charming, attractive/handsome, interesting and not feel romantically drawn to him at all.

Honestly, it gets old. The cuteness wear off rather quick.

Only if you're attractive.

The lion's share is genetic. You can definitely make the most of shitty hair, shine and a deeper color etc are within reach if you are willing to put in effort. But whether or not you have a full head of hair to work with to begin with, whether or not it grows fast and so on is genetic.

Man here.

The three big things:
1. physically my type
2. smart and talented
3. similar world view (this is what really seals the deal)

I only really fell in love twice as a 26 year old man but
>can banter back and forth (good chemistry)
>similar tastes and outlook in life
>makes me feel calm

Can you please answer my question?

This is a long term process and something professional help would be useful for. It's not a switch you flip or any mental trick. It's more akin to
>grieve your past experiences, process your old feelings, realize the ways they impacted you, realize how those coping mechanisms served you once and why they no longer do
>100% feel and make the decision that enough has been spoilt for you in life, you want to change, you no longer want to stay in the same thought patterns (that includes stuff like not coming to this website that triggers hatred for women)
>take baby steps, if going on a date is too much try to be friendly with a woman, if being friendly with a woman your age is too much talk to your mom's friends etc, basically broaden your comfort zone inch by inch
>reading about how childhood abuse impacts sexuality and personal development can help, talking to fellow victims can help

And so on. It's going to suck and bring up old hurt and what not but unless you are happy to resign to living the whole rest of your life this way there is no real alternative.

Not here. Looks matter here

I didn't have these issues until I got cheated on.
I don't have a problem getting female attention either, it's just that I feel uncomfortable around them, even when they're interested.
Just recently I got dragged outside by some acquaintances, and a girl kept grabbing me and grinding against me, and all I could think of was how disgusting and unattractive I find such behaviour.
Basically, I became a shut-in incel during the prime of my life (25 now). Tried therapy, my shrink says my feelings are normal.

>I didn't have these issues until I got cheated on.
Right, but cheating happens a lot and despite being hurtful and in many cases traumatic, the far far majority of people doesn't reject all of love or the opposite sex for >five years afterwards. Just because the cheating was the trigger to start a downward slope doesn't mean nothing else played into it.

>I don't have a problem getting female attention either
I got that, that wasn't what I was talking about. But you said that you fear and hate women and cannot interact with them well. Wanting to change that means changing not just your mind but also your actions. No one can go from 0 to 80 but small things, leaving your comfort zone a little bit, is the first step to get the results you want. It's more about progress than about what "progress" looks like to you. If it's going out of your way to talk to a woman it's that. If it's making eye contact while a girl talks to you it's that. You didn't specify enough to make it hyperpersonal but you can fill in the blanks knowing your own struggle.

>and a girl kept grabbing me and grinding against me, and all I could think of was how disgusting and unattractive I find such behaviour.
This particular example is not really weird to me though. This is pushy behavior, welcome for plenty of guys but that doesn't make it appropriate.

>Tried therapy, my shrink says my feelings are normal.
All therapy does is offer another perspective and a healthy new relationship (with your therapist) to process feelings in and heal. Some merit can be found in medication or practical suggestions but imo as much as 90% is in the connection you have with your therapist. They are not exactly interchangeable. You need to find someone who strikes a chord in you, who gets through to you.

And of course therapy is not necessary but most people when quite troubled cannot stay as devoted to trying to change their thinking on their own.

I guess I'll just keep being an incel then.
All that shit isn't worth it.

Recently told a woman from work how i feel. She feels the same. We have been out together before this but because I have been cautious because she is a colleague I never made the lunge before then.

We have agreed to go out, without any room for interpretation. And I can finally go in to it with the confidence of not being that weird orbiter friend.

Thing is. We agreed to go out after she gets back from a holiday abroad. She's back in the country now but not yet back in work.

How should I approach organising this without coming across as desperate? She isnt a big texter and seems easily freaked out by men being too pushy. An aspect I like about her desu.

Advice appreciated from both genders.

>inb4 durr she got fucked on holiday

Wont work on me incels. We have no prior arrangement to wait for each other.

you don't.
If she asks about it, she's interested.
If not, lunge elsewhere.

>I’m on period
>then avoid kissing with tongue
I kept pushing, feels bad man
am I done here?

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>bf doesn't celebrate his birthday, like at all
>has said he doesn't want anything from me for it
>feel guilty about it since he gets me thoughtful gifts and makes it a special occasion for me
>most he's ever wanted to do for his is get a pizza and cuddle while watching a movie

I want to surprise him but I don't know where to start, anyone got any advice?

>surprise him
get him a simple nice gift. one example is his favorite drink with his name engraved (some bevmos will do it for cheap) or a framed photo print of you and him looking cute

but why surprise him though? maybe ask him if he'd like you to plan a dinner to a nice restaurant. one reason I rarely do stuff on my birthday is because I hate planning that shit.

How early into dating should I disclose my drug usage and history?

I've asked him before and his answer is that he doesn't want a it to be a big deal, that it's just another day, that I don't need to do anything extravagant just for him. He's a bit older than I am (28 vs 22) so maybe is just a part of him getting older?

Does it affect you today? (as in, are you still on drugs?) when it becomes relevant and you feel they should know. If it's not an issue anymore, keep it to yourself unless asked.

28yr old man here. It literally is just another day at this age. Plus if he's anything like me he just enjoys giving presents and not receiving them as much.

Give him a blowjob. Cook him his favourite meal. Dont make a big deal about either. Just make hin content and he will appreciate it more than you know.

Now give me advice about my recent question about my work colleague.

Ta.

I still use though as far as things are concerned it is not a serious problem (lsd/shrooms 2-4x/month)
I suppose my biggest fear is that the person wouldn't want to see me anymore because of it..

Whatever it is you want to get him, just save it for next week. At least 8 days after his birthday. If he asks why you have whatever it is you end up doing, just say you felt like it and don't mention that it has anything to do with his birthday.
t. someone who feels the same way about birthdays.

I'm self conscious about revealing my body particularly my breasts to husband. I have never gotten naked in front of anybody before and I will have to get intimate anyways soon with husband and I am very very uncomfortable with my breast shape. They look fine with a bra on but without a bra they sag and droop down. My husband has never seen them before. I'm really scared if he asks me to take off my clothes, I don't know what to do? I'm really insecure about them because they look ugly and droopy. I'm not sure if I should take off my bra maybe it might turn him off then and if I don't take off my bra he might get upset with me? I don't know what to do. Should I explain to him before sex about it?

dude here
I don't really know why I fall in love but I know how
>meet girl
>feel no immediate attraction
>become friends
>wait for 3-6 months
>suddenly she starts growing on me baka
>don't really notice the gradual change
>someday realise I'm in love
>now I'm well and truly fucked
Every fucking time
It's really annoying that I work like this desu

unless your boobs look like an 80-years-old woman's you're fine
Guys love boobs of every shape and size, especially when it's time to play with them

Well they do droop down, my nipples point to the floor and are uneven, I'm not old or anything I'm quite young but they sag like this. I'm not sure whether to take it off or keep it.

Them being uneven is a complete non-issue. It's likely he won't even notice.
>should I keep my bra on
It's up to you but I mean let's be real he's going to take it off

Another question is it logical to be angry at your husband if he watched other women? I feel like my husband doesn't understand that I don't like him when he looks at other women espicially the ones in a revealing outfit be it in real life or a video game or a picture or porn or on social media. He should not be eyeing other women and I feel very angry when he does so. Am I the one at wrong here?

Any lads here struggle(d) with anxiety when it comes to girls?
Its so bad that I feel like I can't make any progress.
Too anxious to approach girls, too anxious to message/carry a conversation, too anxious to make a move, etc.
If a girl doesn't show extremely obvious interest I automatically assume they're not remotely interested in me/repulsed by me.
If they do show extremely obvious interest I constantly put myself down and second guess myself and assume that I'm making a fool of myself and being awkward as fuck and all that.
Every genuine opportunity I've had to get laid, I've basically had panic attacks/feel physically nauseous and removed myself from the situation. If I get a girl's number/social I get nauseous at the thought of dropping a message, so I just leave it.
I'm too embarrassed to talk to my friends about this bc it's so pussy, and I'm not super close to my family so I won't talk to them about it.
I don't see myself as a lost cause at all and I'm willing to work on myself and get myself out of this whole. I need to jump this hurdle but I genuinely don't know how.

Yes, except perhaps for porn
You need to understand that finding women pretty is outside of our control, it's not something we decide to do
You may have noticed, but whenever you look at written text your brain automatically reads it. It's automatic, you can't decide not to read it. Same thing applies to women. If a woman enters our field of vue we can't not see her, and if she's pretty we can't choose not to process that

Women:
What's your take on sparse yet noticeable hair on a man's ass?

Men:
Do you shave? How?

Male, dead inside
>cute
>playful
>smart
Fuck bros i just want a gf that i can love

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Buy him something
he will fucking love it
Only reason he doesnt want you to get him anything is because he is not used to it
Just keep the gift simple
t. guy who does nothing for his birthdays

Seriously? And what can I do to guarantee my husband's full and undivided attention? If i had kept myself virgin for him then why wouldn't he try to suppress that urge and just look at me and only me?

What do I do if I want to date a girl, she rejects me, and then I have to see her again because of circumstances ?

>Do you shave? How?
Yep, no 2 guard on my legs and arms. Number 5 on my chest and some touch up around the nipples. For the groin, I do number 5 in the center then 2 towards the edges. On the shaft itself I use a short guard. In the ass crack, I use my shortest guard. For my beard, I like 2 above my adam's apple then razor shave my neck and touch up the face.

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So I have a female room mate (I am male) and we had a bit of an argument with regards to cleaning (I found her cleaning of the kitchen to be lacking).

Eventually things got heated, but I tried to calm down and rephrase my words to which she subsequently walked away. I was and still am furious, but I let it be for now.

Why do some women think it is okay to just walk away without saying anything? My ex did this too and it makes my fists itch. Who the fuck does she think she is, the fucking queen?

How do I handle this situation? I feel like me telling her I find it massively disrespectful is either going to make her laugh or she is just going to shrug her shoulders.

Male

She has full control of her destiny, is fully aware and has faced and accepted her "demons" (which more often than not are just parts of ourselves that we're ashamed about), is incredibly intelligent and financially independent and extra bonus if she never had a boyfriend and is kinda reserved. Basically smart (optionally on Internet for a long time but mostly lurks) shut-in girl with little to no friends but still knows how to behave in public, as in she's "normal" and keeps her "Internet life" separate from real one, and she can practically live her life alone without having to settle for anyone but she still thinks it would be nice to have someone she can be emotionally vulnerable towards and rely on them; to have a true partner in a fullest meaning of the word.

These girls appear to be unicorns which you meet once every few years and they're probably taken by then. I assume it's mostly due to them "check-mating" themselves where they don't go out too much (or are in extremely female surroundings without a chance to meet guys) but still think it's below their pride to try online dating (and it goes against the narrative of keeping the Internet life separate from real one).

I think I've met maybe 2 girls like this during my whole life and I have nothing but admiration for them.

Is he taking quick glances or doing a full ogle? Quick glances are not really controllable but it seems reasonable to expect him not to take a sniper scope and zoom in on a ladies ass in a video game. Can you describe exactly what he's doing?

>And what can I do to guarantee my husband's full and undivided attention?
I'm a little confused. What does full undivided attention mean to you?

>just look at me and only me?
if you want to be the only sexual outlet for your man, I have some advice on how to do that. But if you want to prevent your man from looking at any other woman ever, I'm not sure that's possible.

> found her cleaning of the kitchen to be lacking
That's very frustrating. My roommate is the same, he's extremely messy.

>Why do some women think it is okay to just walk away without saying anything?
Well, no one is obligated to have a conversation with you. So if someone feels like they have nothing to gain from the conversation, they might just leave it. You said things got heated. In what way? Did you raise your voice? Were insults thrown?

This is how I deal with my messy roommate: we pay for a maid. Nothing else works.

>I will have to get intimate
You dont have to do anything you're not comfortable with. Feeling shame about parts of your body is totally normal and can take time to work though. You should try to work though thm though. I'd definitely tell your husband about your insecurities as soon as possible. If he's a good man, he will be understanding. Maybe he will be ok if you leave your bra on. Maybe he will help you feel comfortable taking off your bra and maybe he will love how you look without it. Wondering what will happen is often worse than the result. Talk it out. Good luck.

>Did you raise your voice?
I might have raised my voice, but I cant tell because my voice is really low and naturally loud. But she did remark that and I took 5 sec to calm down and repack myself and then I talked to her again. Mid sentence she walked away.

This is demeaning and selfish. At least say why you walk away. I dont take this shit from anybody and I have always been reasonable with her. I was just done with her shite.

A maid is too expsensive in my country

female here

i have trust issues and i fear reject so i act like an asshole 24/7, but if someone is nice and have common topics to talk about i tend to open up. Also they must not get too much annoyied when i talk for too long...i tend to talk a lot even when asked not too.
p.s. for me manchilds are a turnoff

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Thanks, quite the detail.
Do you find all of that is really necessary to avoid repulsing a woman?

Please help what should I talk bout in the first date with this guy. It's my first date ever help me please I'm shy girl

Based trust issue gf
Can I be your trust issue bf?

So is dating just like a game of twenty questions? Just keep asking the girl random questions? Question ?

Do women really branch swing?

I met a girl recently. Had a crush on her in high school. Slid in the DMs and we've hung out a few times. Have a real ass connection and I have never had so much fucking fun with a stranger right off the bat like this before. We hooked up a couple times and it seems we have a geninue connection. I like her and I could consider her gf material. She just broke up with her bf about a month ago. They seem to still be friends, but she claims that she plans to get back together with him in the future. I'm just wondering if this is some sort of shit test or if it's nothing. I have options so it's not something I'm worried about but damn this girl is something else

i wish you could be but we live too faraway and having a long distance relationship is worse than being alone: you love someone that you can't hug...pretty much suifuel if you will

don't jump straight to the conspirancy theories, just be youself and don't be too much psychotic/obsessive

I mean, on the off chance that you aren't far away we may be able to work it out.

Besides that, true love would conquer all wouldn't it?

i live on an island in italy, you ARE faraway

also, true love would win but ,if you didn't get it yet , i'm seriously touch-starved and i would feel even more alone than i am now if i had a bf that i can never see

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Sometimes when I cuddle with the girl I'm dating we just lie there saying nothing while listening to music or a film.

I'm thinking of sneaking in must be love by madness into my playlist and kinda quietly singing along when it comes on

Neither of us have said I love you
And I just want her to know I love her but I'm afraid she might not say it back

Is this plan cringe lol

The plan is cringe
Just say how you feel, if you really do love her you don’t need her to say it back

except that a ton of guys who look like Chad also think that way, and fail with women because of it. And women are still sexist as fuck when it comes to making the first move, and will auto-reject any man who hesitates.

Plus the dude is tall, at least >6' and some girls are shallow enough to ignore everything else if he meets her height fetish

Have you ever been approached by a woman?

>Why do some women think it is okay to just walk away without saying anything?
Because they feel like the conversation won't go anywhere and it continuing would make worse. I do the same shit all the time before I start cursing someone out. The fact you have violent urges over this suggests she's onto something.

My boyfriend has a female friend that imo is obsessed with him and in love with him but he refuses to block her. The other day I was watching him play league and could see that this girl kept messaging him, saying stuff like how much she cares about him and how she’s worried about him and hopes he’s doing well etc. He ignored her for awhile and then messaged her and told her to stop and please stfu because I was sitting beside him. She did stop but it still bothers me how she was talking to him as if they’re close when I don’t even know her. I asked him about their relationship and he got uncomfortable and said they’re friends and that’s just her personality, that she’s a caring person. I said I don’t want him talking to her and he said he’ll stop if it upsets me, but when I asked him to block her, he refused and said his word should be good enough. Is he right?

Move in with me we can go to Olive garden every weekend for the endless bread sticks