Me again. I'm beginning to wonder if Im not ready to be a follower of Jesus. After the bible study today, I have to break up with my girlfriend because they dont think we should be togehter. I also have to give up porn, which is less difficult but at the end of this all I will be left with nothing but "waiting for the right one" Any other Christians here? how did you do it?
Me again. I'm beginning to wonder if Im not ready to be a follower of Jesus. After the bible study today...
Putting Christianity into practice in life is not easy, especially in the 21st century. You don't have to make drastic life changes all at once to be a Christian. Some churches might expect you to, but I don't think that's very realistic. You need time to learn about what the Bible teaches, and more time to interpret it for yourself. You don't have to renounce the world right now to be a christian. You simply need to believe, and to follow the teachings you learn.
I just feel rushed. I've only had 1 on 1 studies since Monday, and in these past 4 days Ive been told to basically give up everything if I want to be saved and become a true Christian and get baptised.
Well... I don't think any religion should be rushed or forced upon people. In a Christian context, I think salvation comes about through a belief in God and an acceptance of the Truth. These things cannot, and should not, be expected to happen quickly.
maybe I should tell them to give me a breather. of course they will just say it's hard and God will help me through it but, I dont know. I'm already not good with change and this girlfriend has actually been a positive chage in my life but we've had sex a few times so thats a big SIN according to them..
I wouldn't want to belong to a church that told me what to do, or who I could socialize with. If you love your girlfriend, you should be with her. You can still be a christian and not be a member of a church. If one church dosen't fit, try another. If none of them fit, you can read the bible yourself. take your time with it. It isn't right for a church to pressure you.
19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
I mean right there is what they told me and I'm guilty of it..
In a christian context, practically everybody is guilty of these things. We sin everyday. all of us. What matters is that we ask God for forgiveness because we know we are imperfect and we want to be better. All people come short of the glory of God. We can never be perfect. But we can always work to be better. We can trust God to help us be better people.
Youre exacty right, which is why they want me to end my relationship with her, because it is sin, and that i need to distance myself from her. Which I dont know if I'm ready to do yet
Then don't allow your church to rush you.
You're right on target. If you want to live a righteous life, end your sexual relations with her. But you know, you could marry her instead. If you don't want to, why not?
Have you maybe considered that God is a lie and you’re about to ruin your life because some retard asked you to?
Thats possible too. I always thought being a good moral person was fine but according to them I was way off and not even close.
Nobody has the right to tell you to leave your girlfriend. You don't have to jump through their hoops to get what you want from a church. There are other churches.
If some churches tolerate OP having pre-marital sex with his girlfriend, then they are not good churches.
That may be true, but OP should be allowed some time to think and decide the issue without feeling like a criminal in the eyes of people who should be the most tolerant and understanding.
not to mention forgiving.
Part of me want to just tell them I'm not ready for discipleship yet and to respect my decision but i dont know how well that will go over with them
Yo, Christian here. Nobody should be making you do ANYTHING. They can not condone things, but they can't make you do anything nor should they. They should NOT be guilting you, that's not what Jesus did. Jesus called people to repentance through kindness, he called most of the church people hypocrites for condemning others. Dude, this sounds cultish.
Your relationship with your god is the most profound and personal relationship you will ever have. If you allow other people to influence that relationship now, in this way, I am afraid you will come to resent the whole thing. I might be very wrong, but why rush to judgement?
I'm not Christian, but I am also waiting until marriage (and this kind of teaching is not unique to Christianity). While your church group is right in that fornication is a sin, and morally speaking the question is unambiguous, on a practical level it's going to be much more difficult for you to find a virtuous partner since you have already fornicated--if you've been with your gf for a long amount of time (at least a year), and you can imagine marrying her, then you should do so. But don't marry quickly just to continue having sex; that negates pretty much all of the advantage that waiting until marriage brings.
From their point of view, they see a young man driving a car towards a cliff with a lead block on the gas pedal. Of course they're acting urgently.
>ask God forgiveness
That's not a blank check to sin all you want.
Will God say to me "oh NOW you want to be saved? you werent willing to give up sin before but a year later youre back?"
silly question but i dont know
They're not "making" him do anything. They're telling him what his sins are, and they're absolutely correct in that assessment.
>They should NOT be guilting you, that's not what Jesus did
No, he politely asked the moneychangers in the temple to do something else while profusely apologizing for imposing himself on them. Although they kept about their business once the brief interruption was over, he walked out at peace with himself, knowing that their freedom to sin was respected.
Find a church you can both go to.
The door of salvation does not close. If you genuinely desire salvation, and repent of your sins, and accept Jesus, it is given to you. The whole idea of christianity is contingent upon this.
I asked them "okay so what IS allowed in a relationship?" the two people I was with (one a 30 year old vigin, and the other a 25 year old who broke up an engagement when he became reborn) told me this:
the one who was the virgin said he would not do anything with a girfriend, not even hold her hand, for "he wouldnt do anything he wouldnt want his married wife to do with another man"
Sounds like dating when youre a Christian isnt anything at all..
So according to a religious organization there way is the only way? Are you thinking about what’s going on here at all? Of course they’re going to tell you that their way is the right way.
Keep your girlfriend and cut the church out of your life. Also look up indicators of a cult and compare them to your current situation.
This is unrealistic for relationships today.
don’t let them pressure you into breaking up with your girlfriend if she makes you happy. Find another church or don’t tell your current church your business as much if they are going to be dickheads about your business
Why the fuck are you taking relationship advice from the church incel? What made you choose Christianity anyway? Were they just the closest religious group so you picked them? Did you go in with your mind too open and let them convince you that they’re the ones who got it right.
I'm not a theologian, but from a practical standpoint, your kind of action (which, to be clear, up until this point wasn't really your fault, since you almost certainly were unaware of alternatives to your previous lifestyle) would shift salvation through faith (or, in somewat broader terms, morality) from an opt-out to opt-in system. That is, it would make sinful life choices proliferate across society.
While to you, personally, if your repentance was sincere you would be saved, to others it would be harder to see examples of good works--making their salvation more difficult. I think an extremely good read for you would be St. Augustine's Confessions, particularly the second and eighth books.
To reiterate, though, I'm neither a Christian nor trained in theology. I just have a deep respect for societal morality of the kind that was lost along with faith.
>he wouldnt do anything he wouldnt want his married wife to do with another man"
Which is based and logical. However, unlike the very clear scriptural basis for condemning sex outside of marriage, showing affection is fine. The key point is that you must be wary against manifestations of lust--that is, if you would have to ask "does this count as losing my virginity", the answer is probably yes.
If you want a marriage to work, the best thing you can do is to get to know the person as well as possible before making your decision, while simultaneously holding off on any sexual activity. Being so restrictive towards any interaction makes getting to know someone unnecessarily difficult; simply avoid the temptation to sin instead. Holding hands is not inherently wrong, nor is living together before being married. The question is whether something is likely to tempt you. If you have a hand fetish, then you absolutely should consider not holding hands, but if it doesn't affect your likelihood to be driven by lust, it isn't something to feel guilty over.
>St. Augustine's Confessions, particularly the second and eighth books.
Thank you I will look into that.
While I can understand that sex before marriage is undesirable in the Bible, shouldn't one get to know all aspects of their partner before devoting to something as permanent as marriage?
>shouldn't one get to know all aspects of their partner before devoting to something as permanent as marriage?
*All*? No. But the ones necessary to the marriage and raising children, by all means. The only thing which is a potential problem (to either) that having sex would alert you to is if either of you is infertile, but nowadays you can test for that.
As for living together, you can learn the critical aspects of it separately--see how your partner conducts themselves in their daily living (that is, how they manage household tasks) if you visit them with their family, and also learn about their personality (and how well it meshes with yours) from your time together. While it is superficially quicker to learn both by living together, that gain is far outweighed by the temptation to fornicate.
Lastly, the "inefficiency" of avoiding these tempting situations actually serves to strengthen your marriage by forcing you to spend a longer amount of time learning about each other.
At that point is it any different than having a "female friend"? I've visited friends families before, or had one on one lunches with them etc, but it never felt like something a relationship would be like?
>At that point is it any different than having a "female friend"?
Well, aside from the aphorism that men and women can't be friends, it definitely is different. You're purposefully learning about someone because you consider them a candidate for marriage. If you eat lunch at a male work colleague's house, would you at any point think "this guy would be one hell of a wife"? Of course not.
For that matter, if you get along well (enough to call it a friendship) with an elderly female receptionist and she invites you over for tea, I doubt you'd have any nuptial thoughts there, either.
Christianity is not about fun or a good life. It’s about enslavement. Enjoy sucka
So only talk to to girls you'd consider marrying someday?
Lol, no. I'm saying that there's a difference between interacting with someone and dating them, and that has nothing to do with sexuality.
>Trying to become Christian
>Abandoning your girlfriend
Yea no rot in hell
if this isn't a bait thread...
>ave to break up with my girlfriend because they dont think we should be togehter
>they want me to end my relationship with her, because it is sin
Thats all nice and good if you want to please the church, but pleasing the church is not the ideal of Christianity.
If you yourself don't see whats wrong with how your relationship with this girl is within the context of Christianity, then anything else you do is meaningless.
You are only human, so you must at some level pursue the Bilble with your own directive to learn, and decide what you feel about it, regardless of any church.
Remember, there is basically one Bible of old and new testament that is used between pretty much all Christian denominations that are interpreted differently in the margins.
Thats not a lisense to dismiss a particular interaction with a church body or to weasel your way around the text, but instead it is a heavier responsibility upon you to extract your own spiritual meaning from what you are reading.
I just dont think Im worthy or ready yet for that commitment
>I just dont think Im worthy or ready yet for that commitment
That sounds like bullshit. Especially because every other post worded along the lines of 'people at church told me i have to do this, so I have to do this.'
If this post is the truth, explain why you're not ready and/or not worthy with humility
I know they're right because they back up everything with verses right from the Bible, everything is just happening too quickly for me. I'm not ready to leave my girlfriend yet. Give up porn? Fine, I only watch a few times a week. I literally had my first in-depth bible talk on monday, and now today I'm told I shouldnt be with her any more. I need time to process and think about it, and do so my of own research before I'm going back to the fellowship. They would text me all the time asking me if I wanted to do personal studies and I kept saying no, finally I said yes because one of the guys was moving away so I wanted to say goodbye (monday) and now I'm just overwhelmed.
I don’t think the Bible even mentions dating
Yo homie you are already forgiven for all your sins ever
god made this world from himself
when it's over you will return to being god not just apart/a part of/from God
Christian here, you seem to be getting into a Protestant cult, I would advice you against any Protestant "Church" since they have totally corrupted and lost the message of Christ. I am Orthodox myself and I think you should go to an Orthodox Church but if you get away from Protestantism going to a Catholic or Copt or any Apostolic Church you're good enough.
Realize that your sin weakens you. Do you want to disappoint Jesus? He sees you when you’re jerking off to porn. You think he likes that?
Why is Jesus watching me masturbate
The son of man came eating and drinking, hanging with bartenders and hookers.
OP I really think that the only way to believe is to have your own take on religion. Do not follow dogmas or what other people say because nobody is an expert on religion. Seriously.
I spend years going to church and had to leave because they were very hypocritical from my point of view. But I know that I would be too from their point of view. The only one who can find out what's right or wrong is you and God.
Do not break up with your girlfriend because they told you to. Only do it if it feels right to YOU.
Most Christians are inconsistent with their beliefs anyway. For example I hate how some Christians are totally okay with having premarital sex by using some mental gymnastics, but then go and speak against homosexuality.
So just gather info from people but in the end you need to question everything and everyone because there's no reason to think others necessarily know more than you about God. Some do but many just act like they do or at least don't make a good example of a Christian.