Taking it slow

What THE FUCK does it mean when a girl you've been on 3 dates (no sex yet -because, supposedly, she's on her period- but serious kissing and touching) tells you that she wants to:

>"take it slow because she has hurried in relationships in the past and it didn't go well"
>"she wants to know me and see me, and she has a great time with me"

All this via text.

Just bring it on, because I have a bad feeling about it. I just know I cannot take it literally.

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If you want to fuck so bad go see someone else

No, it's not really about the sex I believe. I have no hurries. Just what I've been tought that "you have to seal the deal".

It means literally that, stop over thinking

>girl told me the exact same stuff
>a month later she dumped me to go back to her ex that "didnt go well" and made her afraid of relashionships

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She's not looking for a hook up and she's not interested in a relationship revolving around sex. You've been on three dates, but how long between the first and now? Give it a few weeks, don't be exclusive (but don't be an asshole about it), and see what comes of it.

Cool. But I'm not looking for a hook up or a relationship revolving around sex either.


This is what I'm fearing.


>You've been on three dates, but how long between the first and now?
You gonna answer that or nah

My bad. One week.

First date was last Saturday and last one on Thursday.

It unironically means she is fucking or wants to fuck someone else. You are one step above an orbiter. You are weak but provide her with things she wants, so she'll keep you around under the guise of "taking it slow" all the while fucking other men

sex is a very vulnerable thing so some people want to really trust their partner so they can avoid an embarrassing situation.

first of all, don't go slipping into confirmation bias. Just assume that what she is saying is the truth, and don't get super invested in it until you guys are serious. If you're three dates in and you're already this stressed out about whether or not it will work, then maybe that's a sign that you still have some personal stuff that you've got to work out.

Trust me, I've been in your position before, and you just gotta realize that if it doesn't work out it's really not that big of a deal. Roll with it and make of it what you can.

>assume what she is saying is the truth
Stopped reading right there. Literally the worst advice I've heard on this god forsaken board

Okay but what does she gain out of this? She's 30, wants to get married and have children. What would be the point on wasting her time?

Yup, this always happens to me. I'm positive that it will happen again with the next girl if this one doesn't work out.

It's been 7 days. Personally OP I'd give it another 7 and a date or two before pushing it. If she's still resistant let her know that a physical relationship is just as important as a mental relationship to you.

After that, give it 1 more week for 3 weeks total and if still nothing let her know that this isn't exclusive and see other people while keeping up with her now and then incase she decides.

It just means she has one last opportunity to get on the cock carousel. 30 isn't that old anymore. She'll be more ready at 32-35.

Tell her that you don't like being compared to her exes and that the bad experiences she's had in the past weren't with you.

Sex is important man and if she's put out for other dudes and won't with you that's a problem.

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hey man, if you want to live in a constant state of paranoia, that's your choice.

I feel you dude, it's tough, but you have to learn to be willing to try work together with people, otherwise your whole life will be a series of self-fulfilling prophecies where you think people are going to leave you, and then you push them away.

Yeah, I will do that. In all honesty, I don't think she brought it up because of the sex, but because of how much I pushed to go on new dates - even if she said yes three times in a busy week for her.
I'll just back the fuck down. I always feel that if I'm not advancing, im going backwards, but it's mostly bullshit and it has cost me relationships in the past.

Three dates in a week? Damn I kinda agree with her that you should take it slower. The candle that burns twice as bright etc etc

I’m dating a girl who I have previously “talked” to on and off for the past three years. Her and I have never had sex. We will, but neither of us want it to ruin what we have. Sometimes it’s better off without sex immediately. I’m as happy as I’ve ever been with her. I don’t worry about her fucking other guys and she doesn’t worry about me fucking other girls. We still get handsy and super into it, but there’s no pressure for sex either way because we’ve both had it ruin relationships. Don’t fall for her or anything because it doesn’t always work, but don’t concern yourself too much about sex.

Yup. And almost constant texting in-between dates. Unironically, I agree too, just fearful that it's too late.

But it's been my experience that when a girl complains about something like this it's already a little too late. It's a sign that her interest has already diminished. I could be wrong though.


I've read it. Sounds like those super black-pilled articles that read too deep into it, unless women who ask for "taking it slow" are effectively manipulative psychopaths.

And yet here you are, ignoring that perfectly correct advice. Intredasting.

Heh you think it's up to me? She had some family shit today. But she told me we could perhaps meet after 12

Besides, there's lots of contradictory advice. I think the correct one is sex though.

It means she's indecisive and losing interest.

user you have the perfect opportunity to get another girl. While your girl is indecisive you could easily pull off another girl and make an example of your girl. Two birds with one stone.

Hey, thanks for the tip. She did initiate twice today and once with a photo of her. But I guess what you've said still holds true.