21M. Pretty attractive and very self driven since I spent that last 2 years in monk self improvement mode (albeit I fap regularly).
Anyways, I can hook up with sloots below my league pretty easy, but making friends with women and men in my school can be difficult. At most were acquaintances and I fear that I’m scaring people away somehow. I tend to keep a very strong focused gaze which may come off as angry since I don’t wanna wear a fake smile on my face.
Anybody else here deal with this? What do I do?!
I spent the last 2 years improving myself so much that I’m so self driven now that I focus on self and intimidate others and push em away without even meaning to. At school I’m social and talk in groups, make jokes, get laughs and smiles, but nothing further than acquaintances. Not even a single close friend at university. Only at my home town :(.
What do?!?! It’s driving me crazy. I spent so long getting to be the best me and now I’m all alone and it’s eating me from the inside out. I want a relationship so bad but I scare away the good girls. Only sloots left and even they get intimidated sometimes Pic related
It's rooted in your arrogance/feelings of self superiority. You do not give other people a chance to impress you.
Also, learn how to smile at people without it being fake. That actually makes a huge difference.
it may sound weird, but what i did to self improve at a rapid pace (from a fat depressed virgin 19YO) was use of psychedelics to break though patterns and built in defence mechanism structures from childhood experiences. the use of psychedelics only after reading books though. u have to come into it with purpose. also psychedelics opened me up to ideas such as law of attraction and dimensional jumping. it sounds like coockoo whitchcraft crazy people talk but it worked for me. this video is a good starting point. also the general tennants of self improvement apply. eat right, mind fullness, present moment attachment, lift hard, set goals youtube.com/watch?v=_8cZh_sWH-g
despite your self improvement, you're still in small town mental/emotional mode.
its entirely possible you're now punching way too far down to be taken seriously by the social circle you know, understand?
yes. ive been called arrogant since i was a kid. i always did feel better than those around me. only better than drones. when i find real people with something going on in their noggin i give them all the time in the world. ive come into a habit of filtering people out as either NPC or thinker so i think you might be onto something. im judging people way too early and they might be doing it back to me. wow thanks man. no sarcasm this is a huge tip, and its so simple. love u bro
My cousin did the same. Whilst I'm sure it is an effective way to do it, its not for everyone. I get intense experiences from edibles which really makes me aware of shit I hide from myself. But also gives me horrible exestential dread and 'insights' into things I don't want to know about). So I don't really wanna risk it with something far stronger.
But it sounds like a real self-improvement hack if done properly.
there is no social circle there. not punching up down left or right at all. reap the OP. i do my own thing. and i doubt im in that small mentality. like it says, i have an intimating level of confidence/arrogance. and whether its holding me back socially or pushing me forward individually is the tradeaway im trying to balance right now
>Also, learn how to smile at people without it being fake Impossible. Fucking idiot.
Desperation kills all your chances quicker than anything you could or do know.
thats the secret though. the bad trips are the ones with the most to offer. the most horrible experiences on mushrooms produced the greatest change. no mental scarring or horrible retardation left on me, but exposed me to ideas ive been hiding away for a very long time. because they are hidden away, its gonna be scary to confront them, but that's the point.
THE OBSTACLE IS THE PATH. DEFINE YOUR UNIVERSE
nah, you're just hanging around low achievers.
you'll realise this when you get around someone who fucking humbles your attitude.
there's always someone better.
this doesnt even relate to my OP.
What do i do about the intimidating confidence rather than fucking ditch my already non existent social circle. great non-advice
you're so short and narrow sighted in your confidence. you don't even recall what you typed.
>What do?!?! It’s driving me crazy. I spent so long getting to be the best me and now I’m all alone and it’s eating me from the inside out. I want a relationship so bad but I scare away the good girls. Only sloots left and even they get intimidated sometimes
You can't fucking control other people's reactions. so, what do you want? to have less confidence so you can interact with them again? That seems self defeating.
this is more important than you realised. You think it just gave you clarity about pre-judging. But what it actually tells you is that you've been okay with yourself devaluing people for a very long time.
it was already seconded, lrn2roberts rules of order
smile more, obviously, good for you and others only difference between 'fake' and real smile is whether it reaches your eyes push for more contact with 'acquaintances' in 99% of these cases they would be down to hang out more and are afraid to make the first move because everyone who hasn't made a deliberate effort to improve their social skills is kind of socially retarded they've just learned stuff about interacting with people randomly puts the onus on you, the dedicated self-improver, to take all the initiative kind of tiring and can feel bad, like nobody wants you but the results work out way better for you in the end so it evens out
this one is good. thanks man. i hate initiating since im used to people coming to me and it does make me feel unwanted when i dont get a response right away from those that i initiate with (probably childhood trauma). since this is my obstacle,i guess this is now my path. good advice, thanks dude
Banging 6-7/10 roasties will get old fast, user.. Read: how to win friends and influence people, and 48 laws of power. Smile selectively, it will be perceived to mean more when you do slip it in.
>needing validation Go back to "monk mode" you aren't done yet.
you fucking moron she's saying you're NOT intimidating. jesus christ reading comprehension
First idea is to stop using death stare. It isnt nornal. Instead use power of smug face and ocasional smile.
read both already but legit advice for anyone else reading this
Being too confident can often involve a level of directness and being straightforward that normally turns a girl off. How often are you texting these women? How direct are you with them? How strongly are you making moves in person? If you're an uber-Chad it probably won't make a difference, but these things could matter when it comes to your problem intimidating girls.