What does it feel like to have a gf?

what does it feel like to have a gf?

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Feels like you can stop worrying about not having a gf, you have a whole bunch of new things to worry about instead.

relationships are not end goals, they're means to end goals
in reality, you never achieve anything punctual.
Let's say you want to have a family. the moment your child is born, you have a family now, but that's only the start of another journey.

but, having a girlfriend (that loves you) feels great, boosts your ego a lot, certain things become easier, others harder. It's generally a gain if you're not an idiot
if you're just some pathetic fool, getting a girlfriend is not gonna fell good, you will just start worrying about different shit and eventually have bigger problems than when you didn't have one.

Anxiety

Nice warm smooth skin, rubbing it feels good
And boobs are great to lick

End goals don't inherently exist. An incel's end goal could be getting married. A neet's end goal could be getting a ton of friends and a poor person end goal could be getting a degree and a stable job. Etc

It takes time to build love, though.

I’m in my first ever LTR and while we’re not at the love stage yet, it’s absolutely incredible that I actually feel like I can share and say intimidate things with this person and have them listen patiently, reassure me, and laugh with me and not at me. It’s amazing I can just reach over and touch them and they’ll reciprocate the contact without it being all weird.

Why are women like this?
Why can't they just choose to love someone like men do?

Yep, and a girlfriend is more of a concept than anything, just having a person who lets you call them your girlfriend doesn't get you anything by itself.

I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t you take time getting to know someone and growing to trust them and overcoming challenges and obstacles with them before falling in love with them?

There are times when I feel like I love my partner, but we’re not at the stage where either of us say it yet, and I don’t feel ready to say it. Because love isn’t cheap— and if you want it to be lasting and meaningful, you need to build lasting and meaningful relationships, which take time.

>before falling in love with them?
Yikes
Imagine thinking you need to interact for more than a coffee date to realize if you can love someone or not

No stress anymore to approach or date girls, also mroe positive feelings when other girls check you out and talking to hot women gets easier.

Inside the relationship, well if it's a good girl you will be motivated to get ahead faster, she will take up a good amount of your time but it can still be lots of fun (especially if she is mentally challenging to you). If she isn't a good girl, prepare for lots of fighting that doesnt lead anywhere.

I did that and it doesn’t work.

So what happens if you fall in love with someone, heads over heels, and it fizzles and crashes shortly after because you’re not actually compatible, and you’re left with a broken heart? You’ve overinvested yourself emotionally in someone you didn’t know enough about. It’s not smart and it’s not good for your own mental wellbeing.

I’m with my partner because I think I can love him. I wouldn’t be with him otherwise. But we’re not at that point yet.

>fizzles and crashes shortly after because you’re not actually compatible
THEN YOURE NOT ACTUALLY COMPATIBLE YOU DIPSHIT BE GLAD YOU FIGURED IT OUT EARLY

Here’s what I don’t understand: your insistence that I should have loved that person for the brief duration we were together.

I mean, maybe I just don’t love easily, maybe I’m overly guarded. But love means you’re willing to do a lot of things for a person, it means you hold them in high regard and care and support and protect them, it means you’re willing to go to difficult lengths for them. It also means you trust them and feel secure with them, which takes time.

Just because I dated someone for a few months doesn’t mean they’ve earned that kind of trust or investment from me.

>I mean, maybe I just don’t love easily, maybe I’m overly guarded.
You probably have a hard time understanding people or have autism user.
I know what you're talking about but most people know instaltly what kind of person someone is or what they want from the other person after their first interaction. Trust =/= love you don't have to trust someone to love them. Sure it might make you love them more but for example you might not trust what your meth addict aunt tells you but you might still love her

Random question but what do you feel when you see a cute puppy?

this is helpful, thanks.
this isn't helpful

Just recently got my first girlfriend and I constantly feel warm and fuzzy inside, very motivating feeling to try my best, and to keep pushing myself in times of uncertainty and discomfort.

Its just nice to know that despite what happens in your day, usually no matter how rough it is, there is someone who loves you and will cuddle you later that night.

Think of how much you love a cute girl now image they love you back with as much intensity and have the same tastes as you

I have to trust people to love them. I didn’t love my paternal grandmother because of how she treated me. I didn’t like how she spoke to my father, who has the patience of a saint and took her in after she finally exhausted my aunt’s sanity. She said and did things that are almost comically bad. I didn’t love her and wasn’t sad when she finally passed. I was sad for my dad because she was his mother and I know he cared. But I had no real attachment to her even after living with her for years.

When I see a cute puppy, I like it. I like it a lot. I want to hold it, cuddle it, play with it. But I don’t love it. I don’t have the deep emotional bond I had with my two cats, who I loved deeply and miss every day. When they died, it felt like a hole was ripped in my heart and it still hurts to think about them. I don’t feel that way about a puppy I just met.

>I have to trust people to love them.
Get therapy this isn't normal
>But I don’t love it.
Yep get therapy, there's cheesey some kind of block here. You really don't want to just shower it with love because it's so tiny and cute?

>cheezy
Lmao
Definitely*

I mean, I want to hold it and cuddle it and play with it... I want to shower it with affection. But that’s not love.

I hold love at a higher level than “like” and “affection”. I want to shower the puppy with affection because it’s so tiny and cute.

I don’t understand why you consider it odd that love may require trust.

0-3 months - loads of sex, discovery, fun, drinking, meeting some of her best friends/closest family
3-6 months - a bit less sex, arguments, meeting her parents
6-12 months - more arguments, talks about 'the future'
> 12 months - shit

All relationships should only last three months.

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Interesting. I’m going on eight months and we’ve yet to have a single argument.

Me and my wife didn't argue for the entire first year of our relationship.

It did happen though after that. Once that seal is off there's no putting it back.

Idk maybe I do really give my heart to anything I like but I'm also good at reading peoples thoughts and emotions.

>love may require trust
Not necessarily did you trust your cats to do everything right and never anything wrong?

Maybe our concept of love is different
I think of it as willing that everything good and holy happen to a person no matter who they are or what they might've done.

It feels like anxiety mixed with depression. And occasionally you see boobs and can touch them

I have trouble reading people. Facial expressions are hit and miss with me, especially complex/subtle ones. I was also severely bullied in school, so being guarded is my way of protecting myself.

I did trust my cats to love me. I trusted them to come when I entered the door and said “I’m home!”, to follow me around the house, to whine for my attention, to cuddle when I was sad, to be there for me. I loved them because they were so attached to me that I never once doubted they loved me— going from one room to the next invariably meant I had a pair of fuzz balls tripping over my feet to follow me. I trusted that they’d never just stop loving me for no reason or want nothing to do with me.

I didn’t trust them to not steal toilet paper off the rack and TP the house, but you know, cats.

>Maybe our concept of love is different
I think of it as willing that everything good and holy happen to a person no matter who they are or what they might've done.

Right, but “no matter who they are or what they might have done” is a bit iffy for me. I think I’d stop loving someone if they ran over a kitten on purpose and cackled maniacally about it. But I’d also hopefully realize that person doesn’t deserve my love long before I ever discover they’re that kind of person, you know?

You know how most people see things that they dislike within others the first time they see them? Try doing the opposite only see the good in them

I do. I often meet people I like immediately and want to be friends with them. The first time I met my current neighbors, they radiated awesomeness the only way an old, retired couple with a cute dog can. I do often see only the good in them.

But that doesn’t mean I love them. I don’t feel like... love love for them. I really like them and think they’re awesome and wish them nothing but the best. But I wouldn’t give them my kidney, if that makes sense?