GUIDELINES:

How do you know someone is chad mentally by talking to them?

Why am I so bad at talking to girls? There's a cute girl that sits next to me in class but every time I think of something to say my mind goes blank when I actually see her

>i'm going to marry the woman who named her first born son after me!
That's the wrong order, user

Nope, that's gonna mess both of you up. Also not fair to her because even though you'd be making the choice consciously, you would still resent her for being unattractive (to you) and she would feel that and would feel like garbage for no reason other than the fact that you are using her for a relationship.

taking things really slowly can help. weeds out the guys who are only interested in something quick/easy. but at the same time there are nice guys who are turned off by playing "hard to get" so it's difficult.

How do I not fuck up my first kiss with a girl?

How do you even court women? I don't even know where to begin with this.

Confess your undying love on the roof of your high school at sunset

I was too shy to ask anyone out in high school, or even talk to anyone tbqh.

But I could at least sort of understand how you would ask someone out. I don't understand how I would as a 23 year old who isn't in school.

Its normal to reject girls only for vengeance? This girl treated me good but to not look like a easy beta I just turned her down

I made my first attempt a year ago, at 20.
It didn't work and I spilled a lot of spaghetti, but I'm probably the only one who remembers it at this point.

It seems to be fairly common among self-described 'betas', but it's not really intelligent. You're given confirmation, not just bullshit 'hints', that a girl is interested, and you shoot it down like a sperg. In the moment it can be hilarious or even give you a sort of high, but you're just burning your bridges for no reason. If she turns out to be a degenerate, you can ditch her then.

Either, but say which you are.
If you are having a bad argument and don't live together is it reasonable to ask the other person to leave? Just say, hey this really upsets me please leave so I can sleep on it?
What about just walking away to take 10-15 mins?

There's a guy who likes me. Appearance wise, he's really attractive. Personality wise, not so much. I mean there's definitely something there because he's one of my better friends, but he rarely messages me and when he does, he ignores anything I've said to him and brings up his own topic. In person he's fine, if a little bit obsessive over certain things. He doesn't let me talk much either. He's still one of the funniest people I know though, and he's sweet.
I've expressed to him that I'd like if we talked more through messages and he's apologized but hasn't done anything to change it. I don't know why. I know he's fine talking to me in person. I really hope it's not depression. He has said some things that sounded suicidal in the past so it's possible. I've asked him if he was feeling OK before and he just brushed me off.
Should I give him a chance? I really do enjoy being around him but I'm not sure if we'd be great as a couple. And if there is something going on mentally, it might be best for me to wait for that to pass over. Or would being with him help that?
Either way, I don't want to end up being stuck in a relationship I'm not happy with.

Why does it always seem like girls are waiting for someone else to say something

It depends. Some are too awkward to say anything. Some think that if a guy likes them, the guy will say someone first. Others simply don't like you.

What am I supposed to say?

I'm gonna post this one last time on Jow Forums then I'm gonna try and keep my mind off it. Been doing that already, but I really need to.

Male and female anons:
So, there's this girl I like, she's cool. We're in a state discord server. One of the other dudes there was talking with me and he has a gf. But he was telling me how he talked up the girl I like and he'd asked her to get drinks on Monday. Thing is, me and that girl have been snapchatting and texting since I have her number. She sent me pics showing off her ass like two weeks ago. I asked her to hang on Monday or Tuesday and she said that she was busy Tuesday and not 100% on Monday. Well, he was bragging to me about talking her up and saying how he's not the holiest of guys and that he's a slut and that she's free game. I figured fuck it and just told her he has a gf and that if she didn't want to hang out at all, she could tell me and my feelings would not be hurt. Well, me, her, the other dude, and two others were in the server voice chat. A while into it while talking about jobs she says that someone at her work called out. So she has to cover half of their shift and she was gonna go into the city but now she can't. So that was probably the not 100% sure part that she told me.

So, with all that in mind. Did I kill my chances? I feel like I did. Half of me doesn't care, because the other dude was really shitty and I didn't want her to be the "other woman" and that life goes on and I gotta focus on myself. But the other half of me does like her and was interested in seeing where that went and if it was a relationship. Also, someone told me they felt me doing that was controlling and that I overstepped a but and that it showed that I didn't think she was smart enough to make her own decisions. Was it controlling?

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Why would my ex gf who dumped me ask me how I'm doing, or ask me what's up then never respond when I answer.

Guys would you date a mental girl (OCD to be specific?) I'm not treating it right now but that's why the symptoms keep returning back and shifting from one obsession to the other. Is something like that a deal breaker?

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I could date a mental girl, but only if she was working on it and seeking professional help. Unchecked mental illnesses can be dangerous.

I can't afford a therapy right now. I went to the doctor once and the medicine they gave me was pretty bad and it fucked me up for a long time. Right now im just dealing with it but it keeps coming back once in a while and fucking me up. I'm dating somebody right now (so far only 1 date) and I don't know know how he would react to me being neurotic.

No, not for me. I have tried that in the past and it’s just so mentally draining.

So, what I would recommend is that if it gets serious, I would mention that you have it and you want to treat it, but can't afford to. Also let him know that it will affect how you act sometimes so that he can be more understanding.

Chances or not, You did the right thing.

No god please no

I know I did. I guess I just also like her and don't want it to be ruined because I did the right thing.

Seriously this. I’m waiting until marriage and I found an amazing guy that way.

Maybe not cynical, but not worrying about it and just doing other stuff you’re interested in can become attractive. Women especially smell desperation easily.

Don’t use tongue, and don’t make it too wet or fast. Keep it soft and slow and nice. You don’t need to “make out” for your first kiss.

>please leave so I can sleep on it?
This seems a little extreme. I like to keep the rule “never go to bed angry” so you should try to resolve conflict sooner than later.
>What about just walking away to take 10-15 mins?
This is much more reasonable. It’s always better to take some time to cool off before discussing something difficult.

>or too fast. Keep it soft and slow and nice.
So how long do you recommend?

Depends what the compulsion is, but as long as she was upfront about it and willing to work on it, it probably wouldn't be a dealbreaker on its own (for example, I eventually want to buy some land of my own and farm, so washing your hands 20 times a day wouldn't fit with that lifestyle).

I'd be cautious if a girl brought it up regardless, not because of the specific disorder/illness, but because it's a potential indicator of other problems--namely, degeneracy. I know people who do social work, and I've heard enough horror stories about the mentally ill to have a good bit of trepidation.

Best way to decaptiate a thot? Looking for only femanons opinions

Because women are insects lmao

It doesn’t have to be long. Maybe a couple of seconds for a first kiss. By too fast, I mean your motions. Don’t eat her face basically.

Alright thanks for the help. Am I supposed to tilt my head as well?

You can’t. You will never matter enough.

How do I know if a girl likes me

He doesn't sound depressed, just somewhat inconsiderate. If you're decent friends, just try to peer into his mind a bit, ask about some personal stuff see how he works mentally then decide if you fit together

I wouldn't say so, no.

Ask pertinent questions and bring up points they've brought up in the past to validate what they're saying. I'm awful at convo too but this seems to pull me through.

As a woman, don't take non-specific, non-nuanced advice since a lot of what you're told is actually intentionally counter productive

Only if deciding you're vegan as you're starving to death because you can't find any good would help

Sounds like an interesting story, congrats

Find out what she's into and ask her about it

Do not mash your face on hers, go slowly and feather light to begin with. There will always be time to pick up the pace / pressure later.

There are dozens of guides on the internet, use Google.

I don't think it's normal, it seems slightly counterproductive, but the only person you're potentially hurting is yourself do I guess it's fine.

I'm a woman, yes it's fine to ask her to leave. I tend to say I'm going out for fifteen to calm down and they're welcome to be here when I get back to discuss, but if it's genuinely awful I'd just send them home

Can't speak for anyone else but I was a loud obnoxious kid so now any time I go to say something there's a voice in my head telling me to stfu

She cares but she's busy? She was interested but then got distracted? Something about your response turned her off responding?

I guarantee you that if you have to ask, you don't have the physical prowess

Read the FAQ

Not that user, but I plan on doing the same. Why is it wrong? I just want to feel human warmth, but I'm not attractive and sexy enough for tinder nor hook-ups, thus I'll get an ugly gf.

I hope you get a gf, fall in love and then you find out she went for you because she "couldn't find anything better" and isn't actually attracted to you. I imagine learning that way will teach you the issue fairly successfully.

>just ask her out
But I barely now here

Then get to know her

Haven't been laid in six weeks and all attempts at flirting / sexting have been brushed off. Am I just waiting for him to dump me now?

How?

Sure, do whatever feels best. Just lean in slowly and tilt as much as necessary to fit her position

I wouldn't care as long as I get pussy, lmao. Guys aren't fixated on status and other shallow things that girls are.

Yeah, i think so

> other shallow things
Like the person using you as a placeholder until someone better comes along

As a guy, there's nothing wrong with that since women have unlimited options.

women, what would you consider taking advantage of a man? i'm asking because i'm conscious of the male-female power dynamic and can't access the female perspective fully.
tl;dr i was drinking with a female friend when she suddenly started aggressively flirting / seducing me despite rejecting my feelings already. i'm a pretty emotional person and my emotions feel violated, i suppose.

Not all friends are good ones. Maybe it’s time to rethink what you consider friendship. It’s not really a gender thing.

If a woman talks about "clicking" with me and wanting to spend more time with me after a week than she does with friends she's known for years, if she frantically messaged me once because she thought she "made me feel awkward" after a call, if she responded to some of my moping with "I could tell you all the reasons why you're awesome but you'd feel awkward"...these are obvious signs right?

'Cause right now that's not a good thing. I'm just dying to know and there's nobody it's safe to talk to about this in my life. This is tard shit but I have heavier followup questions if I can't get off this ride right here.

Neon flashing signs u tard. Make a move before she loses interest

You know, I really hope she does. Just gonna forego the followup questions and hope she gets over it. Thanks user, I figured they were but I needed someone who's not a tard to let me know for sure.

How would you react if the person you been dating for a long time shows you a secret room in your house and it’s a ball-pit.

Should I stop sending so many messages to a guy I like? I usually send him like maybe 10-15 messages, he logs in and responds every day or two. Then we talk for few hours.

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I've been sitting here 20 goddamn minutes trying to write good advice just to justify commenting on your picture. But all I got is that I do the same thing to close friends and they take a long time to respond. Wouldn't be a bad idea to collect your thoughts and try to send one or two messages a day. Wouldn't be a bad idea to tell him you like him too, guys are retarded and I would probably just be wondering why this chick is sending me so many messages

your image is making me laugh my ass off at six AM

Why would you stop? Also why dont you talk face to face during sex?

Indifferent.

Ask her on date.

Women often say A but then end up doing B. Also alcohol is truth serum. She simply wants to have sex with you when drunk. Invite her for netflix and chill.
>side note
Why the hell do you go on dates with people who rejected your advances? Dont you have any backbone?

Maybe he is asexual :-)
Maybe he has sex with somebody else
Maybe he found out that porn is better than you

She accepts your invitation on date.

Kek. Maybe when i will be really desparate, otherwise no.

Pic related.

>he makes me laught a lot
This is foolproof way how to tell woman is attracted to somebody. Your lizard brain already wants him. Stop resisting.

Thats very rude.

Lol. No it isnt normal.

Dancing lessons. Nightclub. Alcohol. Online dating. One of these or even combination.

It doesnt matter. All the hormones released into her and your brain simply from the skin touch and excitement will make you feel good even if you slobber all over her face.

Thats meme reply you arent supposted to take seriously. The real answer is:
What have you done past X months to force boys to ask you on date? Flirting, eye contact, extremly weird colorful clothes, smiling? Weight loss? When was the last time you went to social events which only weird men usually attend to? What did you actually do to attract a silly boy or steal someones virginity?

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Damn

Idk he seemed pretty into sex when we started. I doubt he's having sex with someone else, just for how busy he is normally. The porn thing is something I'd have no idea about.

Girls, why do you flirt with men you don't want to fuck

The same reason guys do it: for fun or to see if you still got it

There is a last factor which majority of society never considers when it comes down to male libido: stress, bad diet, cardiovascular issues and hormone issues all kills it.

Maybe his family died in big hurricane. Maybe he got fired from his job, maybe his drug dealer is threatening to kill him. I know this might sound unbelievable, but even men can have life situations where sex is the last thing they have energy for.

Tldr ask him, not /adv.

Shitton of people flirt because its fun, not because they wanna fuck.

What a loss of time

Because men see being a nice human as flirtation

He's definitely not stressed, I do speak to him about his life. If it were that simple, I don't think I'd be asking Jow Forums

I don't think she has the coping skills to move on and idk what to do.

We were seeing each other for a little bit but she just isn't for me and I had to go. I wanted to be friends with her and she's a lovely girl but just not for me and I don't think friendship will work either. So after about 3 months of no contact, she reaches out to me, acts like her life is going perfect, and I'm trying to be understanding and reply without leading her on, but I feel like she's hoping for something to happen and she asks to stay in touch. She's been checking her facebook more often since she asked me to stay in touch but I don't know what to do. If I talk to her I'll lead her on, if I don't I'll have this feeling like I'm being a cunt who is ghosting this innocent girl. I guess friendship is off the table because it'll only lead her on, but is no contact and as much as I'd hate to do it, ghosting the only way here for her to move on?
I'm trying to move on myself but I feel like I'm on pause because the feeling of being an asshole to her by not staying in touch like she wanted makes me feel depressed. What do I do here? Girls, how would you want the guy to act in this situation?

In my experience majority of /adv posters know the reply already, they just arent willing to accept the reality yet.

If your bf doesnt want to sex you up while the relationship is new and fresh, imagine how the marriage will turn out after few years. Maybe sex once per a decade?

I noticed that in my friend's now ex gf, apparently when she made up her mind about leaving him, she stopped having sex with him for about a month or so.

If he is ignoring you more than ever (not flirting wise, but generally conversation wise) or acts cold or passive aggressive then you might be in trouble.
Did you fuck with him a lot before?

Another thing is that he might be going through something upsetting now and is not telling you and just isn't in the mood. How long have you been together? are you close enough to talk honestly yet? or does he hide things from you?

Need more context, its very ambiguous as it stands.

Is your initial K?

>bf was putting his finger up my butt for the first time during sex

Does this mean he wants to put his dick up there next time? I don't think I'm ready for that

better prepare your anus cause he wasn't doing it to scratch his finger

the same thing goes for women with attractive men
i'm very careful when it comes to talking to girls because they think i'm flirting / into them when i'm just being nice

>Appearance wise, he's really attractive. Personality wise, not so much.
I think you wouldn't even be posting here if he wasn't attractive. The right approach to relationships is if the other person is both attractive to you, and has an appealing personality for you. I've seen so many relationships shatter because they were initially looks based and they ignored all the personality red flags. If you have to question him now, then its not gonna get any better when you're with him. Same goes for personality, if you're only in it for that then you won't find him sexually attractive and that will eventually sour the relationship. You're not there to fix his life, I don't see him fixing yours? stable relationships operate on balance, equal contribution and the right mindset to be dating. What I mean by that is that if someone is acting or being depressed, then they need to find a way to deal with it and be in the right state of mind to date. But if they're depressed and get into a relationship, it won't fix any of his problems, but now you'll have to help him fix them.
Another red flag I'm seeing is the inability to communicate, like you said, you think something is wrong and most likely is, you asked him and he brushed it off. Hows that being able to communicate? its the male equivalent of "I'm fine" and we all know what that means.

The reason you consider him a likely option is because he's attractive, that makes him visible. Average or ugly looking guys become invisible when they're not in the best state of mind, because they don't have the looks to make them appear since its their personality that makes them visible, and during a shitty time, personality tends to dim itself.

Well fuck. I don't know if any love in the world could make me want to engage in anal sex with him. Isn't it very painful? What if I poop on him or my ass bleeds?

Why do men even want to engage in anal sex when there's a nice warm vagina right there next door?

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I'm a fag, it's fun. if he fingers your ass every night for a week it won't hurt much. if you're not interested tell him so, if he goes ahead anyway he's a pretty shit person

it's just something different that porn has convinced them is something they want to try. The idea of a girl letting them fuck them in the ass is more attractive than anal will ever actually be, but also you can just say no thank you or tell him you'll let him fuck you in the ass if you can fuck him in his ass first so he knows how it feels.

>guy has gf
>tries to fuck another girl and is deliberate with his intentions
>you prevented that from happening
Controlling or not, you did his gf a favor so she wouldn't get hurt. Now, this guy seems like a cunt and if I knew his gf, I would've told her what was going on, you have the messages to prove it so you wouldn't be lying and why should she be with a cheater and waste time while she could be happier with someone else and not get hurt and possibly mentally fucked up from the experience?

Its kind of like someone telling you they're gonna shoot up a school and you know this for a fact, but instead of doing something about it, you decided "I'd be controlling if I do that" and dozens of innocents may be hurt.

And if the girl really liked you, then she would've ignored the other guy and go after you, she didn't. In this case its not first come first served, you attach your feelings to people you connect with and she went for a fuck boy, you dodged a bullet there user and you did the right thing while also cucking your fuck boy cheater friend. kek, nice. In another reality, they probably would've fucked and you would've felt guilty about not doing anything, not for their sake or yours, but for the guy's gf's sake. Also, how was the girl going to make her own decisions not knowing this guy has a gf? its not like he was gonna tell her, maybe after they fucked but at that point he'd already be on his way out the door

also he may have just been checking to see if YOU like it. that's what guys think when girls do this anyway

This, he wants you to want him to give you anal. There's nothing particular about your asshole he's attracted to, it's all the idea of you being a little kinky and wanting it. If you don't want it and tell him you don't want it, it will probably stop being attractive to him.

Why boyfriend finds me more attractive when I put my hair in a ponytail? He insists I do it when we are in bed.

>Why boyfriend finds me more attractive when I put my hair in a ponytail?
There are practical reasons to tie your hair back in bed so as not to get hair in the way while going down on him, but maybe he just has a thing for the hairstyle. If it's not for practical reasons, it's a simple, benign fetish.

I don't really know how to phrase this but a woman would probably have the best answer. If my married friend has a crush on me and I on her, is there any salvaging this friendship as a moral person? Do I just have to cut her off and move on from her, her husband, and everyone else in our circle? If I ghost long enough to get over it, will she get over it too?

Any girls who've had crushes while seriously committed to share their perspective? No thottery please, homewrecking is not an option.

tried kissing girl on date when we went in for hugging she started laughing nervously while facing me and looking me in eyes so I couldn't kiss her but then i responded with a slow kiss deep in her neck and she shivered and got chills

what is going on here why would she do that, is she really this shy and nervous, should I become more aggressive with her ?

Why overthink on what attraction is?

Not a woman, but time and distance are your best friends here. She's going to inevitably question the choices she made and the man she married, but it's obviously not your place to push that decision in any one direction. You don't have to ghost, just stay away from her, sit as far away as possible, find excuses to leave conversations. Don't let her confront you or get her feelings out. Don't let her start confiding in you things she doesn't tell her husband. It might seem good to "get it all out in the open" but it's not unless she's doing it with her husband.

missing out on vital pieces of body language to understand what's going on there. Shivering could mean any number of things, but what she does with her shoulders and hands and what happened immediately before and after are more important. It definitely does NOT mean get more aggressive.

Oh god, thank you. Just getting some feedback on this is making me feel less guilty already. Thanks for the advice, I think some of the confiding may have already begun. My next idea after ghosting was simply to remain unavailable unless group settings are a possibility so I'll try that.

Question to males who speak english as their first language: if i say "do you want to go out tonight?" to a male friend as a male, does that sound gay or have any romantic connotations?

How does everyone here deal with having lived a hard life (& comparing yourself)?

Without going into details, I've had a very hard life growing up (still do). It's been nothing other than trauma, trouble, and pain. While I'm working on to improve my life and have yet reaped the fruits of my labor, I want to ask two questions:

1) How do you deal with the fact that you've lived a hard life and that you'll never get those 26 years back? I feel like a broken person because of the things I've been and still am going through.

2) How do you deal with comparing yourself to others, most if not all, have had it on easy mode compared to you (assuming you had a really strainful past)? I never would want to share the things I've been through with anyone, though it bothers me that if and when I do get to the kind of financial security and inner improvement/peace I want, no one will ever see that I worked hard for what I went through. I don't want the people I'll meet to care or pat my back, but to at least acknowledge that what I went through wasn't easy. Like having this sense of understanding from their point that nothing was given to me or even offered on a silver platter and I went through hell to get to the kind of place I want to be.

It seems like what people (men and women) care about these days is how the "end product" looks like and how fast you reach it. Not what it took to get to that point and how much care and time it required. That shit really flies with Brands, which is why story telling is so important. But with people, I just feel like no one would care. It makes me insecure and feel less than other people that just had the first opportunity that sat on their lap.