I'm not the only one that gets discouraged by dating sites, right?

Another day with no prospects. I'm getting very frustrated and discouraged. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge are my apps of choice in this attempt at dating.

I'm a 29 SWM 5'10" 200lbs with great straight hair and a trim waistline. I have a nice jaw and clear skin.

Aside from appearances I go to church, volunteer and am a member of my local rotary club. I practice my natural gift for socializing and networking in a job for a local firm where I get to interface with local business and goverment leaders as a marketing rep via networking at the chamber of commerce.

I've plowed countless hours into a local not for profit that does a garden tour each year. I built a diy service project program to build daffodil gardens for cancer survivorship.

Past all that and back to some more shallow stuff. I drive a 2018 Honda Hatchback and I dress properly in business casual with a good gig line and I never leave my apartment without a belt and a collared shirt.

I am honest on my dating profiles. On apps like Hinge that have manual selections for vices I am honest that I am a former cig smoker, a rare drinker, but a regular marijuana smoker (I think this is what is killing me with the trad girls). My bio is short and casual. I state that I am looking for a dinner date friend to blossom to a "plus one" relationship as a date to social events (and then I leave unstated because I really hope I don't have to explain something so basic in so many words online that I would eventually like the friendship to take off on a real serious exclusive sexual and then marital relationship. That's not too fast is it? Sheesh, I'm not some fuckboi.

WHAT ELSE DO TRAD GIRLS WANT FROM ME? WHY DO I ONLY ATTRACT WHALES?

Very few matches, the conversations only lead to passive aggression, boredom, or outright solicitation and insults almost immediately. Any conversations that go well for me never get picked back up.

Today I'm brooding on it and I'm feeling just bitter enough to want to hear your ridicule.

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The only chicks ‘trad’ or not that need dating sites are either whales or super damaged goods. All a normal woman has to do is sit on her fish and wait for a man to come around irl.

>200 lb
LOL obese fatty

Op here,

Unfortunately I'm only meeting whalish, tatted single moms in my business interactions and there is no hub of local singles in my area of the burbs. I am confused as to what other options I have to meet women. I am involved as hell in the local community, and not for women for myself, I promise. There's just no women here doing anything remotely professional.

I'm about 20 miles from the fancy city center and not willing to drive that length at the end of a long day just to go sit in some bar to fish for bar sluts and risk a DUI on the way home but that's what my peers say will help me meet women aside from what I'm already doing.

If I can't get something serious going by my 30th birthday in April I'm going to get a different job and move downtown. If that effort doesn't work by my 31st birthday then I'll wait till I'm 40 and just buy some materialistic 25 year old I guess

Op here,

All muscle, you wanna foight m8?

I hear ya and am in the same boat but worse (live in the middle of nowhere). I am going to move.

If you need a confidence boost just start talking to and asking out girls you don’t want to be with at all, they will sense that and work harder. You have no obligation to sleep with them or be their bf but it will give you some practice.

Op here,

Thanks. I have done that "climb the ladder" practice, I've also paid for a ride. I'm tired of that y'all.

Paying for sex or the girlfriend experience doesn't match up with my morals anymore.

Op here,

Also leading on the fat girls just for company is sad. It wastes both of our time and hurts me just as much as it hurts them.

Also I just don't want to be seen in public with someone bigger than me, even if it's just strangers. My family is fat and I know that fat people don't treat themselves well and I don't want to continue the cycle and breed a naturally fat baby or date some fat chick and make my folks think I'm ok with the fat lifestyle now.

No real fat hate here, I've been fat, I just have an aversion to it and much like me being a former smoker who can't hang out around smokers, I can't as a former fatty be around Fatty's

If you don’t have the confidence to be seen out in public with a fat girl then you likely don’t have the confidence to score some 23 year old Stacey either. Work on that. Your self worth shouldn’t be defined by anyone else.

Maybe I got carried away trying to cheer myself up. Maybe it was ashitty way of cheering myself up to insult a hypothetical person.

My point still stands that I have dated and entertained women that I am not interested in and wanted nothing from, and now that practice is detracting from my overall enjoyment.

So to have a little more fun after I've confessed how my inner douche truly haunts me:
No more lazy eyes
No more man hands
No more grey pale skin women
No more over tanned handbags
No more preschool "teachers"
No more diner waitresses

I have my sights set high on a mature woman with a professional career, banging good looks that will satisfy me in all stages of life, and who has stimulating, wholesome passions.

I have high confidence I will achieve this goal. I am just frustrated because it's been a long journey and I'd like to get off the ride now

The way you view life is sociopathic.

Op here, can anyone provide some insight from my theory in my first post about vices?

Should I quit marijuana? Problem is I like it and it doesn't interfere with my work and I feel it's good for my stress level. But hey I'm no mental health expert.

I know somewhere out there there is a church girl that likes a hit of a joint at the end of the day.

I rarely drink, not because of a moral thing or a religious thing. I just don't like getting dui's and I don't like paying a premium for a drink and when I have them at home I enjoy the first sip but then forget about the bottle and it goes warm on my countertop before I remember it again

No it's not sociopathic it's facetious sarcastic shorthand

You sound hungry and it might be coming through too strong, if you got a long bio on those apps try shortening it considerably. Women respond to indifference. They want a man who has his shit all figured out already so they can try to latch on to a good life.

If you are really in a hurry and got the money get an import and make her into the woman you want.

No bro, you meant everything you said.

Op here,

Money is a hurdle at the moment. While my job is satisfying and helping me build to a greater job it is middling in pay.

I'm trying to look at it positively and find ways to live humbly. I hope that living humbly helps me attract the right type of woman.

Unfortunately living umbly makes me invisible 99% of the time and makes me look mean the 1% of time I'm noticed

You're obviously right, you win, have a nice day
I'm not a sociopath, enjoy your feelings of superiority from your keyboard

*Meek

A normal person would think "maybe I should see somebody that can help me with this problem".
You seem to think I'm attacking you for simply pointing out what I've observed.

>5’10”
>200lbs
Bro I’m 6’2” and 200lbs, and I’m fat as shit
Work on your Physique, if anything else it’s a good dopamine booster

I'm normal enough and I've already been through the stages of life where I question whether I'm a sociopath or a psychopath or autistic or retarded. I've talked with professionals when I felt it was necessary and unfortunately for me and for you I am just damn normal.

I may be an asshole with a sense of humor but I am not a sociopath and I'm not going to let you goad me into an argument about it. I have other topics I'd rather discuss

I'm not fat and I've made great strides to improve my appearance. At one point I wore a 44 waist pant and couldn't carry my gun concealed. Now I'm down to a very comfortable 36 waist and can fit the gun in any pair of pants.

I am comfortable with my physique and regularly enjoy outdoor exercise such as backpacking and long distance canoe trekking. I can usually carry my 90 pounds of gear on my back, a 115lb canoe on my head and walk a mile with my paddle in my hand to the next lake without a break.

Thank you, exercise is great advice. I could always use more of it.

But i really feel that my physique is not the issue and that my biggest dating hurdles come from finances, logistics, geography, and marketing

Its not a four letter word buddy, I know you're on the defensive now because you let a bunch of strangers in to your thought process but you can relax, I'm not trying to attack you.

I don't think there are trad girls on those apps. Try more serious ones like eharmony and match.com.

I'm surprised a person like you smokes weed

Op, after re-reading the thread I think you might be autistic and should aim lower. It sucks but having to look at things realistically and adjust your goals is a normal part of life.

Ok thank you, I appreciate the deescalation. But enjoy a little bit more of my thought process. Sociopath is not a four letter word. It's a nine letter word with a more academic, sinister and hurtful connotation to me professionally than any other four letter word. I'm in sales and I bank on my relationship sales approach if someone called me a cunt at a networking event all the professionals in the room would flinch and question in their minds but they would hear the vulgarity and write that person off in their mind and not do business with them because they're vulgar. But if someone labeled me a sociopath in front of a crowd, people would not be sure how to react. Most would not immediately be able to tell you what a sociopath is and would distance themselves from me. Some might out right believe him because that's such a specific label that it must be true.

Maybe overanalyzing here but I do get more heated when someone is throwing around highball psych terms in forums where type/text does not sound reasonable because the lack of inflection. I'd much rather just be cursed at lol

I've already addressed this topic and refute your claim

I am loath to go to those two sites because of the price of their services.

The price is not so bad for that they offer just what they offer is for a demographic older than me. Girls in their twenties are not on match and eharmony. Again a marketing problem

Ah yes, further explaining makes sense. Move man, go pussy hunting

Basically. The price of rent downtown is like 2.5x what I pay now... Gotta get a plan to fix that

Fair enough. And I wasn't really descriptive with why I thougnt that, which definitely doesn't help anything. The way you descibed the past dates, while yes you reduced them to singular flaws and essentially objects, I could see that being whisked away as being a facetious asshole. But the way you descibe your ideal partner is incredibly odd, as if you merely have a checklist that they need to hit. Its just weird, and I can't say that I personally have ever thought of women in that way even if I might talk shit on past dates. If you described them as possessing certain qualities it would've been fine, but the way you did is just off.

There are indeed young people on those. I think paying is a great incentive, both parties will put as much effort as they can into getting to know someone because they're paying for it. Meanwhile on those apps you're using you're gonna find a lot of dumb thots answering with one word and not being engaged in a conversation at all.

>36 waist
That still sounds overweight. Good for you for the progress you made but you sound like your entitled to have women find you attractive now. I bet you have a fat face too which is immediately putting people off.

How about posting your face?

Maybe even look out of state? Depending on job prospects. I honestly think the best place to find qt3.14s is the Carolina states, or metro areas

Yeah I second that

Op here,

Apparently I am banned for posting something in /sp/ though I have never been there

Your ISP is likely sharing your IP with a load of customers. One of which got banned on /sp/.

This is probably going to bite me later posting anything this personal to Jow Forums but here you go you mongrels, here is my face as it is this very day.

Is it really that bad? I know I'm pleasant looking and not horribly unattractive

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You could lose a little weight and get a more aggressive haircut. As it is you look safe, not bad looking at all.

You're not that bad. But there's no reason not to lose the extra weight. Looks like you have a really good face structurally, but all the chubbiness really lets it down.

Your jaw and chin have basically disappeared into your neck from the excess fat. Lose the last bit of extra rate and that will look much much better. You look like you have a substantial bit of belly left on you.

Lots of potential to be an 8/10 there user if you keep it up. I'm a little less fat than you, but have a similarly chubby face and I'm bald. I need to lose weight too, but when I do I won't look as good as you can.

Best of luck man.

I dunno man, everyone should have a mental list of qualifications that their potential spouse should have. The only reason I list "practice" dates by their "flaws" is for shorthand explanation here. If it helps humanize me more here's a story.

I went on a date with a nice blonde. Skin was maybe a bit too pale, eyes we're very distance and lazily shifted on the lower lid like Rami Make in the Pacific. Very distinctive look. But she also had this growth hanging off her jaw like a stalactite. I had a really great dinner with her, wouldn't have minded another one with her, but she was indifferent and never got in touch with me afterward. The combination of the indifference in conversation and the lack of follow up with the growth o n her face... It just didn't inspire me to track her down for another date.

That growth could be removed. It honestly should have been removed. I have had gross moles removed before. She must not have though it was important enough to remove.

I can date someone with a growth on their face, I just can't date the person who can live with it every day and not get it removed.

I guess I only remember their flaws because the relationship never advanced and I never got the chance to learn more about them. Their loss, because now they're just the burnt tan girl or the neck growth girl or the girl with the lazy left eye that also tilted to her left and favored her left leg.

Sorry that's just all that I can remember to relate to you guys

Not a bad-looking guy, but that haircut is terrible, you should wear a v-neck undershirt so it doesn't show, and you would look better with a defined jawline (lower bodyfat).

That said, I think your biggest obstacles are location and finances. The trade/prep/community leader/wholesome guy persona works best when you have the money to back it up, otherwise it can seem nerdy and tryhard. As you stated earlier, most women in the suburbs are either married or fat 40-year-old single moms. All the young professionals are downtown.

BRB quitting all my not for profit and extra curriculars because all women want is a Chad lol thanks for the honesty

Admittedly I am trying to grow the hair out and it's a bit greasy today. I used to be in the military program in college and had the high and tight and was very trim.

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I'm really getting a sense that you don't respond well to simple critical feedback. I'm not coming down hard on you at all.

If you were a female I'd be slow as fuck to date you just based on how you're coming off personality wise. No one wants to date someone where they feel like they're walking on eggshells all the time. It seems like you have some deeply set personal insecurities.

Off topic but still relevant as I'm getting some hair advice.

Hair I'm going to let get long for a while and see what my stylist (a wonderful Iranian woman who was also my church nursery maid as a child and knows my scalp well from years of patting me on the head) can do differently with it.

Should I bring back my moustache? I used to make hella money as a used car salesman. I treated like a theater act and wore a suit with flared lapels, moustache, bow tie, straw hat, and spats. People loved it... One girl I was dating at the time said she hated it but loved to sit on it.

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You're not reading that as a sarcastic grinning quip. Try reading it as a sarcastic grinning quip. Like if you were sitting across a table with a friend

Womens minds are rotted by instagram and other social media. They don't want boyfriends of their socioeconomic status, they're all professional models in their own minds, believe they deserve to date famous rappers, and won't settle for less.

If you're looking for a wife id unironically suggest looking at other countries where the feminist mindrot isn't so widespread. The girls in the west/anglosphere are only good for a pump and dump. None have loyalty or any maternal qualities whatsoever.

Are undershirts really a fashion faux pas?

>I’m surprised a person like you smokes weed

I’m surprised at how close minded you are

Op here,

I recognize it is a conundrum. Not many people like me that strive to be highly professional smoke weed. It's something I found in college that made me feel normal and I just haven't given it up

dude the best advice:

GO FUCKING ASK GIRLS OUT IN REAL LIFE

>but whats the point they will reject me

YES BUT STATISTICALLY YOU HAVE BETTER CHANCE IN PERSON

>but what do i say

ANYTHING. COMPLIMENT SOMETHING YOU NOTICED ABOUT WHAT THEY WEAR. THEN ALL YOU SAY IS

"LISTEN I KNOW THIS IS A BIT FORWARD BUT I THINK YOU ARE KINDA CUTE AND I WOULD HAVE REGRETTED NOT ASKING YOU OUT"

1. SHE SAYS NO > "OKAY NO PROBELM, YOU HAVE A NICE DAY"

2. SHE SAYS YES > "COOL HERE IS MY NUMBER #, I KNOW THIS GREAT PLACE FOR A DRINK/FOOD."

>i dont know though

LOOK IT CAN'T BE ANY WORSE THAN THE SHIT DATING SITES. AT LEAST YOU CAN LOOK AND INTERACT IN PERSON.

WORST CASE SCENERIO IS YOU GET REJECTED. SO WHAT? YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING REJECTED AND WILL KEEP GETTING REJECTED IN YOUR DATING APPS.

YOU LIFE CAN NOT GET ANY WORSE. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR.

TOMMOROW I WANT YOU TO GO ASK 10 GIRLS OUT. YOU WILL GET REJECTED BY ALL 10 BUT THATS YOUR GOAL.

THEN THE NEXT DAY DO IT AGAIN.

KEEP DOING THIS ONCE A WEEK FOR 1 MONTH.

Caps lock is cruise control for cool, that's why I read only the first line

>Go ask out girls irl he says

Dude I already explained that I am killing myself to get out in the community and meet girls but unfortunately the only ones I meet are cashiers and waitresses and no way in hell during the #me2 era an I going to approach some captive wage slave and let them make a scene about being approached. Unfortunately I am in a boomers saturated field and like I said before the only girls I see in work/professional settings are whales with kids. No bueno

So I'm left with the dating apps where someone who looks like your peer and has a stable government job will still solicit the girlfriend experience for $600 a week and the rest of the girls are damaged whales or tatted baristas who are all one like away from an instagram career

Talking with girls is not my problem. Conversation has never been a problem. I talk too much if anything.

I can spin and respond to anything a conversation borders on. He'll look at this thread. I have responded to everything. I have kept my positivity or humor (tough to call it positivity in a complaint/advice thread) to every little micro critique valid or otherwise.

I can talk to girls. I may bore them but I can talk to them and I'm not afraid to do it. I just lack opportunity here in the burbs

>dating sites
Go out and meet people, and stop using dating sites.

I hear ya, and it's solid advice. Thank you, I will try