ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to give honest answers, don't answer question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like ?
>What do girls/guys think about
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, .

>Guys insecure with their 4+ inches dick
Fuck off

>Is it too late to start dating?
As Jordan Peterson says, what's the alternative? Just not to date and wait for death?

>Why is there no new thread?
Create one yourself. You can use these macros: imgur.com/a/y6BF2

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Ookies, I’m a femanon bi girl. As in i would like to settle with a guy, but also sleep around with women. My ex was totally against this at best he would go for threesomes (not really my thing). Now I’m dating again and bit worried that when to bring this up and whatever, and letting this go isn’t really an option. I really enjoy some girl-time. Thoughts? Is it really as bad as my ex claims it to be?

Guys would you a depressed girl whom have attempted suicide in the past but no longer thinks of suicide

Re-post.
Question to anyone that could help.
>best friend's ex leads me on, pretty much leading to sex, pretty much saying she wished she was with me
>I couldn't do it so we distanced ourselves, otherwise I would've been fucked
>friend said that he wouldn't be friends with me and that I would probably have to move out of our shared house
>and since I had nowhere to go at the time and it just generally felt like a bad idea and I thought I have more self respect than that, I thought it was the right thing to do to separate
>couple months later she starts messaging, but she's acting weird, like she's better off without me but still wants me closer to her than before
>then she becomes friends with all these fuck boys on social media
>when she led me on I couldn't help but develop feelings for her, although I knew me and her just weren't a good fit, she's just very attractive
>still, hurts to see her just pop in and out of my life like that when I try to move on, then there's all these guys and she does have a slutty past so I can only imagine why she "befriended" those guys
>it just hurts, and its hard to move on when she's around like that
I'm thinking of deleting her on social media, just for my peace of mind, I have her unfollowed already but it doesn't seem enough with the messaging and all. Thing is, she still thinks she can message, and I have to see her in college every day because she always makes herself visible.

Should I delete her off social media? I think I'm afraid to let go 100% and it'll be final, like we're done for good, and thats why I'm hesitant, but I also know it'll be better for me in the end. Just the possible confrontation about it and the awkwardness of seeing her knowing what I did. She already makes it awkward enough as it is but then it'll be worse. I don't know what to do

How good of a friend is this guy of yours? My bro-friend was a shit friends for years, when his ex came on to me, i took that girl. And gave her a way better time, in all aspects. Just so i could rub it in my dumb ex friend face, it was glorious. We both enjoyed it.
But I’m a sociopath when it comes to dealing with bad friends, so maybe not the best advice. Just know that friends come and go, and if this girl is a good one. Might be legit worth it.

>would like to settle with a guy, but also sleep around with women
good luck with that. most people expect monogamy in a relationship, that's kind of the point.

Since their break up he pretty much started ghosting me and turned into a dickhead, but I don't feel morally justified to do that to him, especially if the girl has some issues and does things I'm not ok with in a relationship. Needing validation from other guys while you're around is one thing I don't like that she does, she also feeds off of drama and it just isn't for me, I'm a different kind of a person and I don't think we're a good match, otherwise I'd probably be dating her now. To be honest, I just want to move on with my life, but its more complicated than that, its tough.

Put yourself in the place of your boyfriend. Would you be ok with him sleeping around with dudes while you are dating?
Maybe don't get in monogamous relationships.

>Met a girl off an app
>Hung out with her 3 times,1 on 1
>Never really pushed into sexual territory or anything cause I didn't want to come off as that eager creepy dude off an app
>Her response time slowly grows larger
>A few days ago cut me off completely
>Didn't even want to stay as just friends, completely severed the connection
She said she had fun hanging out with me though, did I fuck up by not pushing the envelope?

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Girls,

what are some circumstances/settings in which you'd approach a guy or ask him out?
I've been working on myself a lot and I've overheard some female friends (albeit, the ones with boyfriends) talk about how athletic I look and how kind I am. However, I'm too much of a softboi to just randomly try to pick up women, and months of Tinder/Bumble/whatever got me mentally drained. I just would like for once to not have to take the initiative.
When would you be the one to take the first step? Only thing I can think of would be at a party where being tipsy lowers your inhibitions, but I'm not allowed to drink alcohol for medical reasons.

I'm a bi woman too. First & only partner is male, and I'm planning to stay with him. I've just accepted that I won't be able to fulfill my fantasies of eating pussy (very monogamous). But that's probably easier for me since I don't have the experience to miss it. You might want to try poly circles, there you could probably easily find a man who would accept you having a woman on the side. But I've heard there tends to be a ton of drama in poly. I think outside poly however, most people wouldn't accept anything more than a threesome, if even that. Why can't you just enter a relationship with a woman? If you want kids, you can use donor sperm.

Not a guy but I've been suicidal during my relationship (birth control pill fucked my mental health). Never attempted it, but he didn't get scared away (though we knew I wouldn't try it). It's not something to bring up early in the relationship, and some might get worried you'll try it again, but if you're okay now and it was a while ago, I think most will be fine with it.

Probably she had second guesses, or got serious with someone else. I've heard it's common to date or talk to multiple people on dating apps at a time.

Maybe try for a closed 3 person poly?
Else open one (let him know at the start)

Gotta ask since you are a woman into women and would have more insight.
So if you or a partner are on your period, do you both not have sex? Or just the one having it gets no action? Is there some sort of workaround I'm not seeing?

What does it mean when a girl says you’re “intimidating”?

>be me
>suddenly start talking and get closer to this girl I've been friends with for several years
>she has recently broken up with her bf
>hang out with the girl and we start to like each other
>start to pursue relationship since she is cute and innocent
whatthefuck.jpg
ignore it because I already caught feelings for her
>she dumps her bf, we get together
>ff a couple of months
>we are in a relationship doing quite ok
>for reasons we can't see each other for two weeks
>she becomes friends with this one guy and just overnight her behaviour towards me changes completely
>she no longer tells me she misses me
>she no longer tells me she loves me
>she gets really cold
>completely ignores my messages
>doesn't want to see me
>ff a couple of days
>ask her what's up with her behaviour
>have to milk it out but she says she needs "time"
>confused.png
>ask her why does she need "time" when we were all good just 4 days ago

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I personally would only ask a guy out if we were in the same circle of friends and I already knew that he had some interest in me. I feel like a lot women will only ask someone out if they know that they will 99% accept. But I'm very introvert and shy so probably not the best example.

do girls usually mock men over their penis size because it gives them power?

I honestly only mock men's dick because I know it's where it hurts.
If I tell you "it's really insensitive that you sent me a picture of your penis when I didn't ask for it, please avoid doing it in the future" you're not getting offended, if I tell you "kek did you honestly think that microdick was worth showing? Not impressed dude" you are hurt.

I am very shy and probably would not ever make direct advances. But my now-boyfriend and I didn't take one direct step (like picking up, which just seems like harassing the woman). We got to know each other as friends first. His part of the flirting was asking to hang out, asking about my relationship experience, offering to show me how when he found out I had never kissed anyone (I said no but made it clear that I just wasn't ready, not that I didn't want to kiss him). My part was following him out of lectures we had together to talk to him, answering his questions beyond just what he asked, not moving when our shoulders touched. Eventually he told me he liked me when it was pretty damn clear to both of us. I think you should try to get closer naturally like that, and watch for her reciprocation. Even if she's shy, if she likes you back she'll start opening up to you. If she's confident and outgoing, she may even take the initiative. I had a friend like that.

Either she doesn't take relationships seriously, she was using you to rebound from the breakup, or both. Tell her that you can't understand if she doesn't explain. But the fact that she was willing to dump her boyfriend and immediately start dating you should have been all you needed to know. Needing time usually means they want to break up but are afraid to.

If we receive and unwanted dickpic yes. If he is a boyfriend/fwb not really unless that girl is a real asshole. Never had any girl friend even talk to me about the dicks of dudes they had been with.

>ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
Do women even like dick?

>Probably she had second guesses, or got serious with someone else. I've heard it's common to date or talk to multiple people on dating apps at a time.
That's unfortunate, even as friends she was a really cool person, it's a little sad I'll never speak to or see her again.

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Men care infinitely more about dick size than women ever will. Just like height. I don't care how big it is as long as it's big enough to go inside me and small enough to not hurt. I've never mocked anyone for their dick size, but I could see myself doing so if I got an unsolicited dick pic, since that's just garbage behavior and should be treated as such.

yes

Yes, very much.

Yes

not him but, why do girls always go eww or giggle when they see dick?

>tell her that you can't understand if she doesn't explain
Already did. Have to wait until I can see her tomorrow to talk to her in person.

>needing time usually means they want to break up but are afraid to
To be honest I think it's the only thing that needing time means.

lol

Never heard of a girl saying eww at a dick. But I had friends who told me they kinda giggled first time they saw a dick because they were nervous and didn't really know what to do. But this were when they were teens I don't really believe that grown women will giggle or say ew at dicks.

I've never done it unless I literally see a dick randomly in an unexpected way.
When I see dicks at work (I work in a hospital) or in my private life, I'm super fine with them.
Like, never eww'd or giggled at my bf's cock.

Yeah. I might try dating women more seriously... having a girl sit on my face is too good to give up. Maybe it’s time for dating apps, i can get specific for my wishes there and see what bites, I guess.
I’m open to it, but most people who goes trouple are also poly. Hard to find.
And red times is for hugs, soft blankets and crying to feel-good shows. But yeah, of course we service each other in other ways. But that’s pretty normal in all relationships, no?

Might be hard to find but I'd say try for it. Like date a dude, once the conversation of "what are we" comes up, bring up wanting to find a 3rd and close it.
I guess I was wondering because if you don't do anything and your cycles are off you'd be out of commission 2/4 weeks.
Curious, is it tough to find women since you don't know if they just want to be friends? I mean I have that problem as a guy, but to add that additional layer seems tough

Would've never guessed.
How do i know she likes it cause stink eye doesn't seem to be it.
Oh really.
I've heard them saying it even when mentioning the word.

It’s complicated for sure. Because im a girly-girl who likes girly girls. Usually you can spot the lesbian if she’s wearing a shirt and a short haircut (you know the type). But I’ve surprised many a girlfriend when i tell i want them, heh.

And cycles tend to sync up after a while when you stay with a girl long enough. Oh well, thanks for suggestions and stuff. Back to life-stuff

You can definitely find a guy like this, some men are not jealously inclined or prefer to not have traditional monogamy anyway, and there's a (if I were to guess even bigger) group of men that sees red thinking of their woman with another man but another girl is meh, whatever. It somehow doesn't "count" as "real sex" to them.

You have to accept that you are going to throw the vast majority of your options away in terms of a serious future, though. Especially if you don't actually want an open relationship and want him to be faithful to you and only you. If you want it this badly be 100% upfront about it, go out of your way to mix in scenes that are more likely poly/open minded, and again be prepared to lose 90% of your potential partners over this alone.

Also for future reference, don't link your desire to have non-traditional monogamy to your bisexuality. Most bisexual people REALLY resent the idea that bi = wanting to fuck more than one person so this is not going to make you friends in the queer community whatsoever.

Would you let your boyfriend fuck your lady friend too, privately?

For me it really just hinges on how much I like someone. If I see a guy who's cute and just my type, I'm not going to go out of my way to talk to him depending on the circumstances. But if I talk to someone I really connect with, which is much rarer than just finding someone attractive, I'll go all out to speak to him again.

Mostly this depends on the person though. Some women won't ask a man out no matter what. This often ultimately has to do with insecurity ("if he liked me he would've asked me")… and life experience, I've dealt with some romantic rejections in my life, it sucks but I'll live.

Alcohol lowers inhibitions and in itself being at a setting where you're expected to mingle and hoping to have fun and maybe meet someone works best. Ultimately it's going to depend on the person involved though. I'd say if you're tired, put everything on hold and just try to enjoy your day to day life without approaching someone. But don't make it a strategy to wait until a woman seeks you out because that's unlikely to work out well for you.

As the others have said, it is just something many men are incredibly focused on and defensive about. People who are on the level of making tiny dick jokes are just looking for something that hurts. If she thought making fun of the shape of your ears would be most effective she'd be doing that.

So no it does not give women power. Women have that power because men have this insecurity and desire to be above average. If most men were 100% comfortable with their size then it's instantly over.

Yes. Just not usually in the way men want them to. Most women do not think penises are pretty to look at for example. They just think they are hot and sexy in an animalistic.

Because [assuming it's not your partner and you are not aroused] genitals look kind of funny and weird. Most guys love pussy but you won't find guys drooling over close ups of vaginas the way they want to look at boobs and ass.

Is it bad that i say no? I know it’s fucked up and not equal. I want a monogamous man, and poly girls i guess. Yeah i see the problem here... I wouldn’t mind a threesome every now and then, but nothing crazy.

yeah and why is it okay to body shame men, but if you body shame women, everyone is angry?

Thanks! The search continues!

Outside of high school or internet culture most grown ups are going to at least roll their eyes over penis insults. Even if you don't find it hurtful to play into bodily insecurities, it is quite childish.

Yeah it still happens and in many places is also not called out. Same goes for jokes about girls' bodies, from loose pussy to being fat. It's not politically correct no, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen all the time, particularly in an edge scene or among young folks.

And on a more serious note, masculinity has always been associated with confidence in yourself, worrying about how you look is still seen as a thing for girls, look at how taboo it still is for guys to even use a bit of cover up stick. Because of this it's kind of to be expected that male positivity movements lag behind. Can you imagine a good group of regular, non-anonymous men speaking up about penis insecurities? Maybe in ten or twenty years.

Girl I liked in high school reached out to me like 3-4 months ago and chatted a bit, then she randomly didn't reply.
She told me a couple days ago (in a public comment) she was moving closer to me from across the country to about 3 hours away from me, so I told her to come visit me sometime and she liked the comment.

I'd like to message her and start another conversation and maybe see if she'd actually hang out with me sometime, but I don't want to do it too soon and come off as desperate/creepy.

How should I go about this?

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>Most women do not think penises are pretty to look at for example. They just think they are hot and sexy
Seems like a contradiction to me.
I always thought dick giving some kind of sensation was a compromise of them no liking dicks in general.

Personally I think doing it sooner rather than later actually seems more casual. A convo you had a couple of days ago being on your mind is more normal than if it was weeks ago.

Also don't read too much into her not replying. It's not polite but with chatting/texting it is pretty standard as far as I know. Nowadays when most people are in constant communication with so many others it would be pretty exhausting to feel all the social norms around properly ending a conversation.

If she hated the idea of seeing you again she wouldn't have told you she was moving closer to you.

Thanks. I didn't really mind her not replying. I think she's really a cool person and just her reaching out to me made me feel pretty happy.
Maybe I'll try reaching out to her today.

just don't understand why it's normal to dehumanize/exclude men who aren't hung like a horse

Nah beauty and sex appeal are two different things. You wouldn't want to fuck a rainbow. You would (probably) want to fuck a sloppy wet pussy with a great scent.

Granted for some people the two have more overlap than for others. But something can be beautiful and sexless or ugly but arousing, absolutely. For me there's little overlap actually. E.g. I like women as well as men but I'm not a fan of the conventional ideal of a slender, tight young girl with a symmetrical dollface. It's beautiful, sure! But if I can't imagine her sweating I can't imagine having sex with her. If she looks like she smells like soap I'm out. There needs to be a bit of an edge to tick that "hot" box and not just "cute" or "pretty".

For the same reason bullying is normal, slut shaming is normal, rating people with numbers is normal, ghosting people is normal, publicly shaming people for being awkward is normal, taking pictures of strangers to laugh at is normal, telling an internet stranger to kill themselves is normal... Because people are, by and large, capable of being absolute fucking assholes and our standards are not that high.

Having said that I am personally not convinced that (trite and grating as they are) small dick jokes are the source of the issues rather than every young teenage guy looking a porn glorifying above average dicks every day if not multiple times a day.

Also forgot about this but there's a lot to enjoy about penises other than how they look. I like to get a dick pic from a lover but apart from that I don't want to look at penises, not in porn not in pictures.
In real life though I love the scent, the feeling of a boner against your crotch or ass, how fun they are to play with, the little reactions to being stimulated, the explicitness of getting a boner and ejaculating compared to female arousal, you name it.

>sloppy pussy
Not a sloppy one.
Well well well, are a lot of women like you?

Really? If a cute girl was smiling expectantly with her legs spread you'd not want to fuck her if her labia didn't look up to preference?

Sorry to say it man but that's not how we survived so far as a species. Most people are not picky like that. Most definitely not when having feelings and being horny.

And yes afaik this (loving the full package of interacting with a penis, just not the bare looks without context) is really common. Obviously I can only confirm a handful of people 100% though because how often do you really ask people to specify their feelings about dicks...

I need to learn more about this human assholeness, do you know where I can find more information about this?

Everywhere on the internet! There's a lot of it right here.

But seriously, reading up on peer pressure, social exclusion, pack mentality... there's a lot being written now about the harshness of internet culture. From the top of my head "So You've been Publicly Shamed" from Jon Ronson delves into how much we love to ruin the lives of anonymous strangers for doing something relatively minor.

But body shaming happens also offline

Yeah I guess I should've been wordier. It's just that internet/anonymity tends to highlight traits (brittle self esteem, wanting to fit in and not be excluded, being secretly relieved when others get shat on because at least it's not you) that are very much present in everyday life just not as crudely visible or taken to the same extreme.

Oh i see

Call out your male friends who make small dick jokes. Tell your sons size doesn't matter and the other boys are being stupid. From my experience of being a woman and knowing a lot of men and women, men are mostly the ones perpetuating the penis insecurity. I imagine live-action porn does a lot of damage as well (just as it does to women's body insecurity), because it depicts unrealistically large penises as ideal.

By the way, almost no one will exclude you for not being "hung like a horse." Almost everyone is fine with average. It's the size that's meant to fit an average vagina, after all. Micropenises are only not acceptable because the size prevents normal sex. Most men won't have a problem with a woman enjoying their penis if sex is overall good (which is a result of much more than how the penis feels), especially if they're seeking partnership outside hookups. I suspect most men will get a lot more trouble from other boys in the locker room than they will in bed with a woman.

Thanks for the insight. So guess I'll have to bite the bullet then. I really envy you sometimes.

Forgot to mention that it being more unacceptable to body shame women isn't the reason why it's more acceptable to body shame men. Feminism tackled the problem of female body shaming (which is prevalent not just through direct insults, but through advertising etc). While it didn't include male body shaming, it also has never said that it's okay to body shame men. Body shaming is always bad (yes even with obesity, a bad self image will just make them binge more), but men need to stand up for themselves, just as women stood up for ourselves. Blame the people who are body shaming you, not the people who are being defended.

If a bully attacked two kids, but one more harshly than the other, should that kid blame the lesser target? Or should they blame the bully?

girls

ive been dating a girl for a few weeks now and everything seemed like it was going good. The other night she brought up sex and we talked about it and she asked me about my past. I told her I've only had 1 gf before and never did hook ups. She said to me "i think thats great! I take sex seriously too. I've only had a few FWB. I asked her about that and she said she's had 4 FWB before......well. I can say we aren't dating anymore. I told her I'm not comfortable with her having so much casual sex. She keeps texting me begging for me to forgive her.

why do girls in particular think that they dont have to accountable for their actions?

There are so many weird things to human interactions, it is hard to imagine people actually have sex in real life.
I don't think a girl flashes guys in public any more than the pizza man is expected to surprise girls with his dick through the pizza.

>men need to stand up for themselves, just as women stood up for ourselves.
There is a mra... The splc labled them a hate group

this I really don't like roastie pussy, but don't worry I never get to see that so I never turned down anyone for that.
If you look at it from a nonsexual perspective all cunts are kind of gross but I got a sort of preference, you know?!
Just like some guys are triggered by the ass or tits or feet.

Regardless of sexual orientation the fact that there are other people you want to fuck to the point where your SO can't really meet your needs and you're not really into your partner enough that even threesomes aren't enough to satisfy you probably means you're not a good fit for a monogamous lifestyle.

How much faith should I put in a girl telling me she likes me a lot while she was really drunk?

Male and female anons:
I fap to the thought of getting cucked, but I would absolutely hate if I got cucked myself and would break up with them. What does this mean?

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You shouldn't put any. Best to talk about that with her when she is sober.

On one hand when people are drunk it frees up inhibitons so she might be thinking what she says.

On the other in their boozed up mind they could be thinking of a different 'like/love' than what you think.

It depends on the context of the confession and how they react to you later. Just ask them 'what did you mean by this?' without pressing the 'do you like me angle' and then you could gauge whether they have or want to engage those feelings by body language or more directly.

You have to think about the core of what makes it attractive to you. The loss of control? Feeling degraded? Imagining yourself as someone better fucking someone you like?

There might be an element there that you like but it isn't enough to be happy going through with it. That and you can apply whatever it is to other fetishes.

>Imagining yourself as someone better fucking someone you like?
I think it's this one. I don't like being degraded or losing control. I think it's the last one. Just the thought of not being good enough that someone got snatched away from me.

Gonna repost this from the GIOYC thread. Any gender can answer this.

I'm the user from a few threads ago that told the girl I like that the dude who asked her out to drinks had a gf. I've gave her some space. I told her Saturday, and I finally texted her yesterday, which was Wednesday. I asked her just a casual "Hey, how are you?" I heard nothing back. But she was online on discord and stuff and playing vidya, so she wasn't super busy. Does she just need more space? She hasn't removed me on snapchat or left my server that I use to hang out with my friends, so I'm not sure what's going on. Any advice or thoughts on to what could be happening?

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I'm not sure if she'll remember saying it. She was really drunk, and so was I.

How do I know if my standards are too high?

Don't overthink it. I masturbate to the thoughts of being fattened up and I'd hate myself, my body and my life if I actually got fat.

Asking other people can help if you know others that are blunt/honest enough. It's also a sign if in the present you think reasons that caused you to reject others in the past were pretty dumb. E.g. if you feel sad looking at the girl you thought had too big a nose looking all cute and happy with another guy.

Overall though it's less about the height of the standards and more about the kind of standards. Wanting someone you really really like is a good thing. Wanting someone with a specific cup size, not so much.

I didn't read your last post so I might be missing some context. But just from what you wrote here my guess is she is disappointed and quite possibly feels humiliated that someone had to tell her the guy she had taken a liking to was taken and looking at her as a potential side piece.

I'd just give her more space for now.

I dug through the archive so you can read my last post if you want.

But maybe you're right and she just need space. Gonna try and not stress.

Guys
Is it sketchy to ask a guy in bumble to hang out tomorrow? Would Saturday be better? It seems like it is too last minute what do you think?
Will I look thirsty?

I've grown to like a cashier, how do i start a casual chat with her to get to know her better?

We haven't talked that much. Only for a couple days and we've established we watch similar YouTube channels. I just am so tired of messaging guys because I try to make my replies thoughtful and progress the convo so I end up writing alot. I don't want a penpal I want a BF and at least this mean we see how we actually interact? Sex isn't going to happen btw

do you want it to end up in sex? If so, what's the problem looking thirsty? He'll probably be more likely to say yes if you do.

Okay I will stop being a lil bitch and ask him. Good talk y'all.

Is it a good idea to try to chase a girl who, you think, has the same feelings as you do and is in your friend group. I really want to date this girl but the thing is that I don't want to date her because she's in our friend group and if things went sour, it would make things really awkward (in my opinion).

I didn't see your reply.
I want a relationship. Long term. Sex would occur after we establish potential for that.
I guess it doesn't matter if he thinks I'm thirsty. My intentions would show over time anyway. I wouldn't ever go back to his place unless I was comfortable.

>search for someone online
>find her professional pages
>can't find her age
>can't find if she is single
Why does it have to be so difficult? My neckbear self can't ask her in person. ;_;

If you are that remote from a woman then the answer will probably be no from her

You would meet at his place first date?
That sounds thirsty.
Why not drinks/coffee or bowling or something?

No we wouldn't. We'd meet at a cafe to get a sandwich/coffee and maybe walk around and talk

Can I get a bit more input on this? Just curious.

Hey sorry was afk so just seeing this now.

Yeah I think she's probably embarrassed. It's stupid and it's always better not to play games like this, but it's possible that she (actively or passively) enjoyed having a second interested guy to feel more secure. Many people are afraid to be alone and/or feel embarrassed walking around after being dumped, girls often have more options to make this come true and not place all their hope on one person. This is definitely not implying that you should accept this behavior, but so far her worst crime seems to be not discouraging this guy she thought was single hard enough? That's pretty overblown to me.

Still though she probably felt embarrassed hearing from a guy she seems to like that the other guy after her is thirsty and creepy. Maybe she even feels like she shouldn't known/checked more who knows. I'd just tell her something fun/casual in a day or two and if she responds ask her how she's doing after a few texts.

Good luck.

Rejecting people sucks, not as much as being rejected does most of the time but still. Most humans are pretty much programmed to avoid inconveniences and especially social ones. It's not even guys getting scary but more so being petty or passive aggressive, trying to argue or guilt trip you, being "romantic" by being persistent... for the record I've not had many of these experiences in my life but some, and so do virtually all of my female friends (~10 since teenage years I'd say). Ghosting is cowardly but it's a way to try to not rub the stain I guess.

You are not 1:1 responsible for how others react to you or even how others feel because of you. You don't know exactly what else is going on in her life right now and it might just be a combination.

And not to sound blunt, I mean it kindly, but people with options and taste are looking for someone they connect exceptionally well with, not just any attractive friendly (wo)man. Just because she doesn't see herself dating (or even sleeping?) with you doesn't mean she thinks you suck by any means. This is a common interpretation though.

I'm sorry user it absolutely sucks though. Explaining because you ask but that doesn't mean I want to justify it. I'm sure if she had had the balls to tell you properly she'd feel better about it too.

Do it. Life doesn't offer an endless array of places to meet people. Having mutual friends is a great sign for compatibility. If you are usually both mellow, reasonable people who can communicate and want things to remain positive and all, you have some goodwill and foundation to start from if conflicts do arise (and they often do ofc that's true).

You are going to hate yourself in the future if you pass up a real life chance at some (extra) happiness because of some theories about a potential future. Don't "chase" her too enthusiastically though that's just awkward.

Oh she didn't ghost me, she went a final/goodbye message that she couldn't see us going any further.

Sorry, I should've been clearer about that

Ask about her job. (Definitely don't ask her when she gets off.) Something as simple as "I'm sure you sell a lot of these right now!" when getting ice cream during the summer can be a start. A compliment can work if it's businesslike enough, like complimenting her patience if the customer before you took a looong time with everything. Don't try more than once or twice if she doesn't give you anything to work with.
You can also ask a personal recommendation. Only do this if it's more of a specialty store though. I used to work in a relatively fancy chocolate store and customers would mostly talk about the favorite chocolate of that brand, ask me if it was a busy or quiet day, on rarer occasions someone would tell me something more personal. Usually about life events. But that was a very quiet little store where you'd basically be alone together without music so I guess it's more natural to talk in a setting like that than when she's always rushed. Here's to hoping it's a quiet little shop.

Oh shit, maybe I misread it though, kind of tired. Oh that sucks man, I'm sorry. No I don't think you overstepped. I mean what's the alternative? Imagine they hooked up, she found out, felt terrible and then found out you knew and said nothing? Nah.

It's just weird, because on Saturday, after I had told her, there was a server vc. It had me, her, the other dude, and 2 others in there. She would laugh at my jokes and respond when I talked to her. Now nothing. She also still posts in the state discord, so I have no idea what's happening anymore. I'll try and stay calm and thanks for your help, user.

Women, are balls that are about the size of eggs a good size or a bad size?

Sounds fine. A lot to play with. Balls in general are a lot of fun.