/sig/ - self improvement general

since choosing sobriety I've noticed a different view on anxiety, when I was drinking and smoking the thought of being anxious was enough to kickstart anxiety and I viewed it as the worst thing in the world, now it's more just this thing is bad but it's a part of life, I was never a druggie or anything like that, just got blackout drunk once a week at most but did smoke weed pretty much daily - as cheesy as it sounds it reminds me of a song lyric
> I don't pop Xanax because pills are for pussies Never scared of being human I ain't 'fraid of feeling feelings
again at the risk of being too cheesy just accepting anxiety is a part of my life instead of trying to blunt it with chemicals has helped me care less about it, which has lead to less anxiety and a sort of better tolerance to it

Post some /sig/ accomplishments you've made recently on your journey:

>smoking less
>drinking less
>eating healthier
>using internet and chans less, no more mindless browsing
>doing more art, getting really awesome commissions
>doing better at my job
>being more social
>not worrying about my crush
>drinking more water
>meditation and spiritual gains
>stretching before lifting/cardio, never really done before
>more cardio, exercising almost every day
>being better with my money and energy usage, making smart choices
>cooking more

Things I need to work on:
>snack attacks
>smoking multiple times before bed because "fuck it, end of day hurr"
>gaming more than I should or without focus on getting better (me and some of my oldest friends all play comp together)
>Leaving my apartment disheveled
>my wardrobe is kinda lame, still gotta lose a ton of weight to fit into cool clothes I've bought
>seeing my grandma more, she's old af and our last grandparent
>being more honest with my boss
>learning music stuff, I wanna make music
>being more regular with art practice

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I've been working on my confidence, but when surprised, I revert back to my shy, muttering self. Wat do?

1 of 2.

Good stuff
> Paid off 10K of debt this year and moved remaining debt to 0% credit cards. Was paying 400 a month minimum payments in Jan and now paying My business is making money and building a good reputation. Just recently started the most profitable contract ever.

> Still reading books daily in English and Spanish.

> Currently reading the Count of Monte Cristo in English, been on it for weeks and not even at 50%. I can´t believe how long it is.

> Reading El Maravilloso Mago Oz (Wizard of Oz) in Spanish. A Childrens book, but you got to work at the level you are at.

> I can finally Roll my R´s, I can "Trill". It´s such a simple thing, but I could never do it, until now.

> Still doing AA voluntary service at least once a week. Long term sober and not mad about it.

> Shut Facebook about two months ago.

> Still regularly going to Museums and Art Galleries.

> Spend very little money on just "stuff".

> Playing the Piano again.

> Going Camping on my own for a week at the end of Aug, brought all the gear months ago and paid it off.

> Got 10-11ish % body fat.

> Still pray daily.

> quit /pol.

2 of 2.
Stuff that still needs work

> Gone completely off the Gym. Not been for a month. Dunno why. Was hot for it Dec-May, luke warm June and totally cold for July.

> Still smoking and keep having false starts about stopping again. Stopped Dec - Apr then started again for no good reason. I Spunk over 100 a month of Tobacco and it´s such a waste. I just can´t get my head in the right place and that very annoying

> Can still be obsessive about the exgf. Not properly able to move on because I can´t start dating other women as I am living a boring lifestyle where I have to live at home and dump any extra cash I have on credit card debt.

> Can get a bit lonely sometimes, but just have to push through it and go to an AA meeting.

> Want to start Boxing and go back to Judo again, but something, probably irrational fear is stopping me.

> Run hot and cold with work related Skill development and exam study.

> Could pay for the Judo, Boxing, additional Petrol and more stuff IF I could just get myself to stop smoking again.

> Hurt my back a couple of years ago and it´s never been right since, that is probably the excuse I am using for not going back to the Judo. The Boxing, is a more basic desire not to get punched in the face.

> Diet still swings between ultra clean and sugar based.

> Sleep pattern is eternally fucked.

> Either totally obsessed or completely disinterested and can never find the middle ground.

Life is not bad and getting better, just got to keep going and making incremental improvements.

Positive
>Dumped the hot Eastern European girl I was dating, but didn't love.
>Started a Python course and doing well so far
>Taking up more responsibility at work
>Only missed 1 day at the gym in the last 2 months while doing 6-day PPL

Negative
>Partying too much
>Barely any sleep
>Don't have a particular life goal I'm working towards
>Still haven't started investing/saving money
>Still missing the ex

>(me and some of my oldest friends all play comp together)
This is fine imo. Don't make it the highlight of your day, but nothing wrong with maintaining social contact through gaming.

Whenever I go through an uncomfortable experience I try to analyze it and see how I could have handled it better. Most times I get retrospectively embarrassed at how I did handle the situation, but that's how you learn user.

> quit /pol.
Based.

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Yeah /pol had to go, it´s poison.

Well done on the Python, I have been dipping in and out of Python for the last few months.

Is it ADD or laziness?
I want to go to the gym, but I cant get myself to do it.
I want to read books, but I cant read a page without repeating it at least twice. If I get what the page is about I won a coin toss.
I still havent filled out the forms for university and only have one month left.
Friends just relax in their garden to get a nice tan. I'm pasty white because I can't just lay there without getting up a few seconds later.
I rather stay at my computer, watch youtube videos about either my fav twitch celebrities or documentaries about how romanian women use dating agencies to find husbands in western europe.
People tell me I'm lazy and have to man up, there is no magic pill thats going to make my problems go away, yet I'm still trying out every drug, pharmaceutical or whatever supplement to help me. I started smoking cigarettes because I thought it might help me lose weight and reduce stress. That wasn't the case.

Just wanted to thank you OP for making this thread
Have seen it before while browsing Jow Forums and glanced at it but never looked into the links before today
Already CICO and lifting to be healthier and already knew a good amount of the advice to one extent or another but kept telling myself there isn’t enough time to also focus on the other items I needed to do (such as cleaning my house and keeping it clean and improving my mind)
But now I have a plan (well the plan is to create a detailed plan later, because I’m currently at work)
So thank you for posting this, it will help

I love these threads so much desu.
I have overcame some challenges and recently passed some big milestones. Still some things that are anchoring down my soul :(.

Positives:
1) Graduated college
2) Passed FE licensing exam
3) Got first job , just waiting on security clearance to come through ( Far away from home)
4) stopped drinking and made a conceited effort to eat healthier.
5) Have really started laying out my career goals and plans, makes me feel so good desu.
6) Also started taking cold showers and making my bed every morning.

Negatives:
1) still let a girl control whether i'm happy or sad
2) find it hard to stay continuously motivated
3) lost a really close friend recently and god it sucks , So i really need to find a healthy way to release my emotions that doesn't involve the girl.
4) so very lonely , but i assume that will get better.
5) i miss her every day :(

I love these threads man , i wish there was a way that we could all see each others improvements and inspire and motivate each other to keep going every day.

Go to fit you sperg

Just got back from around a half hour bike ride. Feel pretty good. I started to talking to girls on tinder/bumble and hopefully it turns into something meaningful. Fingers crossed. I think I'm going to start weight lifting again this week.

>Looking forward to listening to some synthwave later
What's your go to synth lifting playlist? I tried fashwave/Xurious but it can sound same-y

Why does janny hate people improving themselves?

Lynch siggers, fuck their trash advice.

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It's pretty good advice man, especially if you were to see people who have similar goals. Could help with motivation and effort issues to achieve goals.

Bold words coming from a sigposter

What is sad about wanting to improve oneself?

We were literally forced to come here.

Based perfectly healthy user from a fairly comfortably middle-class upbrining who underachieves in comparison to his parents' socioeconomic performance anyway and now projects his own insecurities and shortcomings on anyone and everyone who doesn't conform to his socioeconomic standards despite not having achieved this same standard himself and won't realize the reality that 90% of his life outcomes were indeed dependent on environmental and economic circumstances until he finds himself still stuck in pretty much the same socioeconomic circumstances in his mid-late thirties as he was in his twenties anyway.

How do I accept reality, /sig/?

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>>YOU are 100% responsible for the way you experience life

Shit like this really boils my blood, its up there with "just be happy"

Look at it this way, If someone is born into a wealthy family, trust fun and all of that, you saying that they are 100% responsible for living that way literally flies out the window, if thats true then the opposite is true, there are people born into poor families that won't get out of it.

Then you add on something like Intellect, if you are born dumb, chances are its because you have dumb parents so right there you're life is not 100% up to you.

Oh you have a handicap? well you're 100% responsible for you not being able to become X Y Z. Rubbish, think of the kids of that little midget guy that's trying to sue Jow Forums, are they 100% responsible for being born with their nose as ass level?

You can go jump in the bin with those cunts that have never had a hard life, and have never had to earn anything that prance around all happy and shit telling people "just be happy"

The wording is poor and made me react similarly at first, but while I was thinking about it I thought "while that is true, the only person whom you can expect to act to change you is yourself".
And I think that's the meaning you should derive from "you are responsible for the way you experience life". Not that everything is your fault, but that the only person who can ever act to change it is you.
A lot of the reasons my life has sucked in the past were my parents, but while they are a reason, they're not responsible for making me happy anymore. The only one who can do that is me. I can blame them and/or seek reparation, but ultimately I'll have to act according to my needs to be happy, and no one else can do that.

not something crazy but i’ve been putting off a lot of important stuff to do by playing rust—i know it’s not doing any good for me so i gave some random naked my base and everything and logged off

i went to Starbucks the next day and revised my a script for a movie and worked on contacting people, and replying to emails//organizing how much the film will be

it was a little move in the right direction, and i’ve been going on my daily walks also trying to eat better

Growing up is a trap.

What's the point of improving when my penis is average?

things that mix well:

Vidya
Tv
and fitness

I posted to the last thread but it went to archives soon after. So, I’m a NEET that wishes to self-study math. Is it viable without a teacher (for someone like me, who sucks at math)? What are the books/resources for that?
Thanks in advance.

I want to start doing a sport, but can't decide on which one. All have pros and cons relating to cost, risk/health, and how to combine it with work and lifting weights.
Any idea how to pick a sport?

>he doesn't do side to side stretches and jelqs

What is your current level and what part of maths do you want to learn or are interested in, then maybe someone can give you some help

Learn to sail. I'm not talking about yachting.

>mentally ill millennial/zoomer improving himself
Try making some epic indie videogame, bro while you're at it

Way ahead of you broski.

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25

Pros:
>Have been working out consistently
>Built a nice little home gym
>Got Free tickets to some comic book convention this weekend
>Progress on my game is going smooth after the hurdle of a bug that fucked up the core gameplay loop
>Snagged up a free laptop from work that's more powerful than what I was using before
>Cutting down on Alcohol, Weed, and coffee consumption
>Getting legit better at budgeting my money and saving/investing
>Getting better and more ambitous at cooking my own meals

Cons:
>Bad time management
>still late to work too often
>Still impulse buying shit (bought some classic games on the PS4 store over the weekend)
>Keep procrastinating selling old shit I don't use and just decluttering my apartment in general
>Noticed I don't always keep my word and forget things that I agree to
>I feel like I'm not doing as much as I could be at my job
>My gamedev project while it is growing and progressing feels a bit too unorganized at points

Isn't jelqing harmful?

You should start boxing, it’s extremely rewarding

Also maybe talk to a friend about the smoking, no reason you should have to do it alone

Accomplishments:
>Found an internship
>Stopped drinking anything else than water for a month
>Stopped snacking
>Limited my sugar consumption to one day per week
>Go to the gym at least 3 times a week
>Walked instead of taking the bus
>Read in the subway
>overbook my weekends with meetups

Things I still need to work on:
>Learn to cook
>Fix my sleep scheduled
>Call my friends and family more often
>Stop procrastinating
>Learn to draw
>Get rid of my shyness

Any veg anons here? Looking for some advice on how to eat a bit cleaner while staying full. I eat some dairy but I prefer to avoid it due to intolerance.

This has been a personal self improvement goal for a long time even though I'm at a healthy weight right now. I've cut out most sugary and processed foods from my diet but I struggle to stop defaulting to carb-heavy dinners after a busy day at work. How do you anons manage?.

Haven't fapped in 4 days. Motivated me to start talking to women and all around be more social.

Is it weird to be in your mid-20's and not have a car or a license yet? How long should it take to learn how to drive actually well?

I have fear of study code cuz too hard

eh, I'd say it really just depends where you live. If there is no reason for you to own a car and drive, then it's not really weird

Am I making good progress since I've been driving for maybe 9 months or so but still feel like I should keep practicing for another half year or so?

Where do you live? Does your country have drivers ed?

I'm in florida

Oh OK, well, get as much practice as you feel necessary then take the test.

Exercising literal does make you feel better physically and mentally. Wish I would have taken advantage of this earlier.

What's the first step to getting a psychiatric evaluation? I'm sure you guys are all about turning this stuff around on sheer willpower alone, but I'm willing to pay a professional to evaluate my current state-of-being as I invest in myself.

Do I just look up clinics in network in my area? I live in the states btw

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>stopped being so angry
>worked my ass off and finished my high school diploma two years after dropping out, off to college two months from now
>been working out every other day for three years now, visibly got muscular and getting abs
>have got to know some people at the gym, got compliments telling me I'm a nice person which made me feel good
Honestly, I've got this friend who is the same as me four years ago and everytime I see him I think god damn, I'm glad I worked my shit out and that my parents supported me for so long since he's still severely depressed and doesn't really have a future.
I hope he works on himself to so he can get a better life but it feels pretty good to not be aimlessly floating around angry all the time.

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Oh and I also kissed a girl for the first time last week at the age of twenty.
I told her she was my first kiss and she blushed and thought I was lying.

Rec me more non-fiction to read /sig/.
My country got mandatory military service, so I got about 6 months of dead time ahead of me

Nice work man. This is good to hear. I am going to go to the gym this friday after a long break.

I think I would like to improve myself, but I have a very hard time dealing with stress (psychological discomfort), and and any self-improvement path is littered with it.
I've only ever done things in order to eventually see them end, and the idea that there are things that don't just end, and you have to keep doing them, is horrifying.
What do I do?

Thanks

Not sure, but I think you have to make an appt. with a psychiatrist.

Isn't there supposed to be risks in meditation? I started with the mind illuminated because "matt vs japan" recommended it, but the other day I had a weird experience and freaked out. Then i found an article about the dark night wich scared the shit out of me and have stopped meditating ever since. Think i'm going to look for a psychologist that does mindfulness around town.

Same poster as above
Slowly constructing a plan to structure the other items I need for my life
Currently timing standard tasks like lifting, cooking, and prepping lunch
Will use that this weekend to write out a loose plan for reading and cleaning
I am going to try to be firm but not too rigid (rimshot) as life will end up interfering eventually, but I am still feeling pretty good about this

Hell yeah homer! get fit!

Is fapping positive or negative?

Neither, if done in moderation and with an emphasis on imagination it's okay. Just try not to fap everyday/multiple times a day and or to porn.

I got an interview for a dishwashing job tomorrow, hoping this makes things slightly less shit by having actual funds. Is jeans and a jacket a good idea for what to wear? The application didn’t even require a resume and they made it pretty clear they didn’t need any experience whatsoever, so I’m believing if you have a pulse and aren’t high as shit you’ve got it, but of course I could be wrong, even if it is fast food.

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Sounds fine man. I doubt they'll be looking for anything clothing wise

I have crazy feelings for my ex who lives in another country.
We tried to just be friends when I moved away a few years ago but our feelings just kept growing so we gave it a try. Was really good, managed to see each other a couple times despite the distance.
Split a month or 2 ago, she said she doesn't think we're meant to be but she still wants me in her life. I'm not sure so I'm currently no contact. She's tried to message me a couple times.
I've mostly been good but I still can't get her out of my head. I know she's super far away and making a relationship work would be hard as fuck but I feel like it'd be worth it. I feel like I should at least try to fight and get her back but the more logical side of me thinks its gonna be too difficult to make work, but no one else makes me feel like she does (I've tried to find someone here, hasn't worked) and I don't want to throw it away. I've known her since I was a kid, she was my best friend before all this.
Am I being stupid? Should I try?

Oh god it's happening again... Oh fuck.. It's going to start spiraling out of control, I can just tell

Chill the fuck out, user. Take things one day at a time.

what the fuck causes this feeling of living but later realising i was on autopilot and it all feels like i had 0 control?

been thinking about 4, 5 or 6 am.

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What's up?

this was taken 3days before her birthday

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read how to make friends and influence people

read that, are there any other books? that one just says ask questions which i can do. I have trouble talking about myself tho. So no one truly knows me

Can you tell us a recent example?

People don't realize this because the effects come on gradually, but all drugs fuck with your head.

You being 100% responsible for the way you experience life is always true, but what isn't said is you only get to play with the cards you were dealt. Plenty of people have played to better hands, and many more have had great hands and played very poorly. Also, you can still have fun playing with a shitty hand.

Its up to you ultimately to realize what you want to do with the cards you have RIGHT NOW

Fair enough and keep in mind no one knows what the future holds for them. Chances are high if you haven't met ANYONE that can offer a helping hand if you need it and you're well into your adult life things might stay that way for a while if not for the rest of your days but you never know who you meet. Sometimes it's like drawing the right card you need if there are cards on the deck left then that's all you need to keep your hopes alive.

You're probably talking to the wrong people then, if you don't feel comfortable talking to someone it's because you know they're at another stage in their lives. You have to find someone you can relate to and things just flow naturally from there, I was just like you back then and still am to some extent.

I have a tendency to think out loud or give my opinions on off-the-wall stuff. I guess it's just part of who I am, but it tends to make people uncomfortable. Should I try to throttle back on it more, or keep it part of my personality? I feel like I constantly have to answer or ask obvious questions about life because there's just this feeling of shallowness in everyday discussion. I know it's because people don't like to touch on heavy topics when they're not ready, but I've got some sort of issue with social cues.

too broad, expand

I do the same but I try to stay on clean topics like, what's your favorite pasta sauce, what's your favorite disney animated movie and why it's the lion king, etc

How would I go about starting a journal what do I write it in and how often, does it need to be dated?

I have a journal, it contains my yearly goals, monthly goals and daily tasks. Journals like this can be fairly powerful if you use them everyday. Creating your to-do list for the day takes 2 minutes, making keeping a journal a very short chore.

I also have a diary that I use whenever I feel like it, which is just a collection of text files on my thoughts.

This is what I want to do I might start out journaling my workouts and tasks at work start from there and try and expand on it because I’m just unsure what to write

I keep a journal of my thoughts and goals alongside a daily planner. It has actually really helped me to get through the last miserable 9 months of my life. Just writing things down, anything, is very therapeutic, and keeping a daily log of tasks and chores keeps you down to earth and organized.

Heres to hoping my efforts won't go to waste. I'm starting from zero here and I think I'll start with reading the first book in the OP. My goals is to stop being illiterate, lose weight and learn Spanish.

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Guess I'll use this thread as like a checkpoint or something but I've been slowly training myself with everything in general really and im a month in to working out and I love it but it also seems that I've created alot more enemies than friends lately solely because of my self improvement journey
Crazy

How do I not fall asleep? I'm trying to study and I just keep falling asleep.

go to bed on time

Not really an option, I study at night because of my schedule and I have 8 subjects. I guess it's all just discipline.