How to beat somebody's ass at work without getting fired?

I'm so close to knocking out this one faggot that works on the same job sites as me occasionally, but nowadays you can get fired for fighting on the job site.

Wat do Jow Forums?

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that's fucked up man
why you wanna fight?

Don't. You'll just saw off the branch you're sitting on

beat him with a phone book because it leaves no bruises

Why not head to the bar after work and then fight him in the parking lot?

Lol that's a myth, don't do this it makes mustard gas

Just pay some nigger to do it, and then at work just whisper in his ear subtly implying you may or may not have something to do with it.

Why beat him up when you could opt for 100% legal psychological warfare?

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This is unironically the best way, just bite them and play dirty

youtu.be/A_DJS3r4dxM

This is a golden idea. Move his shit an inch a week or something or leave loads of pennies on his desk, in shoes and car and wherever. Saying this from experience, physicality resolves fuck all and if the guy ends up whipping you you'll feel worse. Break his feeble mind. A broken mind is harder to heal than any physical ailment. Except death lol.

Poison or some shit, put laxatives in his dronk. If he has a drug habit yoink his stash.

>Why beat him up when you could opt for 100% legal psychological warfare?

Thats another option, already looked up his license plate number but it seems to be registered under someone else's name, looks like I'll have to try to get other info.

Just empty his tires at least once a week. This should be enough to drive him mad.

>Break his feeble mind.

Indeed, he must learn not to fuck with certain people in life but I so want him to eat his parents.

youtu.be/5VvZvorXasI

>Just empty his tires at least once a week. This should be enough to drive him mad.

I might just have to put a Trump 2020 bumper sticker on his truck, he has been very antagonizing since I owned him in a real politik debate.

He could find a crack head and offer to $50. Crack heads are crazy

invite them to go to a boxing gym and duke it out with gloves on and officiated by someone who knows the rules of your bout and is mutually agreed to be allowed to enforce them.

>invite them to go to a boxing gym and duke it out with gloves on and officiated by someone who knows the rules of your bout and is mutually agreed to be allowed to enforce them.

hes a 50 yr old drunken boomer, doubt that would work

This

This! You'll drive him so mad he'll get himself fired!

Because I'm not a woman.

You don't. Because you're stupid. Even regardless of being fired he could just file assault charges and ruin your life anyways. If you actually cause any serious damage, or he can claim you did, you're fucked.

That aside, who gives a fuck. Grow up and realize that you have to deal with shitty people for the rest of your life. Stop getting your blood pressure up over nonsense.

Trust me. This is definitely one thing women have figured out that's more effective (especially in today's world) than anything we ever came up with.

Physical aggression and violence are almost always frowned upon. Most guys I know are awful at recognizing, defending, and retaliating against psychological aggression. If you can drive the other guy mad enough, either he'll start the fight, in which case you can bear him up in self defense, see him arrested and fired, and sue him for damages. Or, if he understands that he's in a no-win scenario, he'll quit while he's ahead and stop doing things that bother you. Alternatively, he might fight back, but I wouldn't assume it would be effective.

Challenge him to a fight at your local martialarts academy(boxing mma jiu jistu etc.)

Make sure its in public and that you insult his honor and make him look like a coward if he refuses

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