How do I get my boyfriend to become more responsible? He takes things too lightly, imho

How do I get my boyfriend to become more responsible? He takes things too lightly, imho.

>Told me once that in 8th grade he was tardy to class over 50 times. He thought it was funny, and expected me to laugh as well. This would be a source of shame and something I'd keep hidden if it happened to me
>He laughs and jokes about being a "sleepyhead" and often being late to stuff. His family enables him by laughing along with him.
>At his old job, he was always 10 or 20 minutes late for work. He thinks this is funny. His old co-workers think this is funny. I, on the other hand, don't see the joke.
>He makes good grades in school and is graduating with his Master's degree next year, but he procrastinates homework and projects until the last minute, almost giving me a heart attack in the process. Would it kill him to NOT do this?

He makes me want to scream sometimes. Same with everyone who enables him by laughing at these qualities for being cute or funny.

Attached: 1565034586616.png (240x240, 87K)

is this who you really want to be with?

He doesn't really have any other flaws asides from being a bit of a Type B personality.

>Told me once that in 8th grade he was tardy to class over 50 times. He thought it was funny, and expected me to laugh as well. This would be a source of shame and something I'd keep hidden if it happened to me
Not sure how he didn't get expelled. I got 3 days off for 5 late to class. Still, if he never faced any consequence for it, why should he care?
>He laughs and jokes about being a "sleepyhead" and often being late to stuff. His family enables him by laughing along with him.
Eh, not a big deal imo.
>>At his old job, he was always 10 or 20 minutes late for work. He thinks this is funny. His old co-workers think this is funny. I, on the other hand, don't see the joke.
You could probably make the point that different employers have different policies. Many are actually ok with this as long as you make it up and finish your work. Many are not and will let you go. He may simply gravitate towards the former.
>He makes good grades in school and is graduating with his Master's degree next year, but he procrastinates homework and projects until the last minute, almost giving me a heart attack in the process. Would it kill him to NOT do this?
Again, as long as he's getting the results, it doesn't really matter much how he's doing it. You could talk about how it makes you worry, but you're probably just going to get back "there's nothing to be worried about". And, again, if he's actually delivering in the end, there really isn't.

He sounds like he's been taught his whole life that it's really not worth more effort than necessary. That's not something you can just break. He's either going to face some genuine tragedy and change, or he's not and won't, because there's no reason to.

Never assume you can change someone. You should only decide whether or not you want to deal with it. You can, and should, however, communicate your feelings and, if you feel like it's something you want to deal with, develop a plan that includes things that he'll do to help you.

>Not sure how he didn't get expelled. I got 3 days off for 5 late to class. Still, if he never faced any consequence for it, why should he care?
The 50 tardies were all for first period; his dad brought him to school, who's very much a Type B himself and always left home late, and his teacher let him off because it wasn't his fault. Regardless, it's not something that should be laughed at or seen as humorous.
>Again, as long as he's getting the results, it doesn't really matter much how he's doing it. You could talk about how it makes you worry, but you're probably just going to get back "there's nothing to be worried about". And, again, if he's actually delivering in the end, there really isn't.
I think that if I talked about my feelings, he'd try to do better. He's very validating and never brushes me off. I don't want to talk about my feelings, though, because that would feel emotionally manipulative. I want him to change because he wants to, not because he feels compelled to do so for my sake.

Why are you trying to change someone like this? Why are you with someone like this? You have to accept who this lazy cunt is, and be supportive and work around it. Or don’t and find someone fits you better. People don’t really change their core behavior.

You sound too uptight actually. Sure your bf sounds lazy, but you're treating it like he's some NEET layabout when actually what he's doing is pretty average and normal for a lot of people even if it is less than ideal. To be honest, I get the sense that you're a rather exhausting girlfriend and probably quite draining to be around if this is your constant attitude to everything.

>doing more work than necessary is responsibility
fucking wageslaves man

>genuine tragedy
highly unlikely
I don't know what kind of career he chose, but if he isn't a health worker or a pilot there's no harm in getting 20 minutes late

if he ever has a boss that is like your, he will get to work on time, but only because he is obligued to, not because it's necessary
but bear in mind that getting on time is only valuable when you are a factory worker and getting 5 minutes late means 500 avocados you didn't peel

He's getting his fucking masters, and you want him to be "more" responsible?
So many bright guys just coast through life and never utilize it. If anything, it sounds like he's kind of good for you. You're too frigid and serious.

Whatever you do, don't let him stick it in your ass. You wouldn't want him to get splinters on his dick from the tremendous stick you have crammed up there.

Attached: 1532741459283.png (2700x3000, 1.7M)

kek couldn't have said it better my fren

Why do you care about when his homework is due? Are you also his mother?

What may help here is using what they call "I" statements, and offering him a bit of help in keeping on schedule.

"I" statements are for when you're talking about another person's behavior, and they're a way of broaching the topic without seeming accusatory. e.g. "When you're procrastinating on a project, I get super stressed out because I worry you're not going to leave yourself enough time to do it." People are naturally empathetic, and will want to change their behavior more when they understand how it's impacting the people around them.

As for helping him stay on schedule, I realize that's asking you to do some extra work, but it may help him actually change this behavior and stick to it; as well as helping you and him get through talking about it for the first time. If I may recommend some things that might help, sending him a text in the morning as a way to remind him to be up at a reasonable time, or setting up a time for the both of you to work on homework or other stuff together. (Side note, this could also be an extra date night for the both of you.)

Hope this makes sense and is helpful, best of luck with this.

I am exactly like that and I'm successful. Some people don't need organization in their lives. We just chill out and go with the flow.

when you live together relationships, develop a utilitarian side. it's our responsibilities, our oppourtunities, our fuck ups, our problems. Maybe they pool money together for certain or all purchases. Maybe they are considering marriage or have a kid. These are a few reasons why couples want to be on the same page.

That's no excuse for micromanaging. This guy is getting a master's degree and holds down a job, he's doing fine and his girlfriend being uptight about how he does things won't change anything for the better.

whenever I read something like this I get more convinced serious relationship advice should be given by actually married people
but married people that actually knows that their bullshit feelings isn't what dictates what's convenient

>He makes good grades in school
what seems to be the problem
just make sure he gets to work on time

Bitch your boyfriend sounds like me. My job allows me to show up and leave when ever I want as long as my work is done and still bill 8 a day. I don't normally role in till 9-915 when every one else shows up between 07-08. I got in tons of trouble in school and it is a joke. Prek-12 is a joke. there whole point is to create good little unquestioning workers. Maybe that's good for you maybe that's not good for him. What's his degree in if I may ask. I'm working on my bachelor's and plan on going for my phd.
My advice is if it ain't broke don't fix it. your the one with the problem. No one else seems to care so why should you. If you love him and it has no negative repercussions then it is wasted effort.

>until the last minute

results trump effort

The line between minimalism and indolence is sustainability. If he's routinely late to a job that is never going to fire him for being 10-20 minutes late then it's not a problem. If he's 5 minutes late to a job that is threatening to fire him then you have a problem.
Just apply that principal to everything going on in his life.