I just found out that my bf used to be slutty as hell. Am I overreacting? I have never had sex.
I just found out that my bf used to be slutty as hell. Am I overreacting? I have never had sex
It’s weird you didn’t know before entering a relationship. So it’s not overreacting of he lied. It is if you now just realized it matters.
How many men have you rejected in your life? Curious
You’re rare in this day and age user. Don’t have sex until you’re married. It’s literally the ultimate vetting process. And you’re much less likely to have a successful relationship having pre-marital sex. If you’re bf is willing to wait then you know he is no longer a man whore.
That’s the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard. People who don’t have sex until marriage/relationship tend to end up cheating or breaking ip. Because people don’t figure out if they are sexually compatible and they create a rift between them. That slowly ruin the relationship. But hey, at least dumb people like you is why i make good money. So thank you.
Wrong. You need to know how you and your partner get along without seeing them as a cum dumpster. Most relationships today are basically just sex unions with nothing else bringing them together, a recipe for disaster.
My friend's wife waited to have sex until marriage... She begged him for an open relationship, and now she's banging half the guys at Red Lobster.
I think the assumption and view of people being cum dumpsters and not is proof enough that you aren’t really equipped to give any sort of advice. And probably don’t really know much about sex and relationship in general. Do you also teach math, but never seen a equation?
Yeah, that’s very common. People hold back too much or completely denying themselves pleasures have high risk of overcompensating. That’s also the reason why NoFap is so dangerous. It’s the new diet. We all seen this before and what’s going to happen.
Top tier argument pal. What qualifies you to give /adv on this subject? If you’ve never seen or had a relationship reliant on sec you need to get out more. They never end well. The only way to be sure you’re with the right partner is to give up sex completely. It’s true this may lead some to cheat and do other naughty things but that exactly why you abstain from sex. If they do that they weren’t the right one in the first place.
Therapist, focused on relationship/couples therapy. And i teach sex ed. And nice bait.
Denying yourself of pleasure won’t lead you to eventually going nuts and indulging in it a great deal. If that was the case we’d all be obese alcoholics.
>People who don’t have sex until marriage/relationship tend to end up cheating or breaking ip
That's literally made up by salty roasties
Not bait. It’s a shame a couples therapist has no basis for his argument. That’s probably why couples therapy has such a low success rate.
You’re now just proving my point. It’s exactly why so many can’t stop eating or stop drinking, drugs etc, abstinence is extremely dangerous and have a high risk of failing. This is why we have clinics giving out methadone. you really should start reading about this, or at least do a little google search.
Dump that bitch
>abstainance has a high risk of failing. Sauce? This is such a shitty argument and actually further proves my point. If people can’t stop eating, drinking, etc. Then they don’t have any self control and probably have a lot of issues. Would this be someone you’d see fit to be an eligible partner or even someone you’d want to associate with? Fact is, sex is just like anything else: a big rush of dopamine that gets you nowhere and helps no one. Same with masturbation.
Lmao fuck I forgot to hit enter.
Except it a relief from stress, and release dopamine so you get a shot of chemical happiness. It keeps the sex drive balanced so it pays of really well in relationships and between relationships/partners. Addiction is lack of willpower, for sure. But you’re confusing healthy habits with bad impulses.
>sex is a healthy habit
>you get a shot of chemical happiness
Explain to me how this is different from any other drug user?
It’s very similar in fact. You are just in the mindset that these are bad things because people have addictions. People who get addicted compared to those who don’t really isn’t in your favor. But i get it, it does look scary when you dont educate yourself. Some kids do something bad it’s video games that did it. Homeless person is lazy or crazy. Addiction is the substance. Criminals are evil. Is there no part of you that think we wouldn’t have fixed all of this already of it was that simple?
Well than would it be too much to forgo that pleasure until marriage for the sake of trust and reliability. If someone is willing to be with you without sex than you know there is more to that relationship. Now this is the part where you tell me people need it or they won’t be fulfilled or something like that. Then why is it that most people after reaching sexual maturity don’t have sex for quite a few years after that? And how is it that before the sexual freedom movement in the 60’s divorce rates were much lower?
>Am I overreacting?
but it is reasonable for you to ask him to take an STD check, a reasonable person would agree and do it .
shut the fuck up you neo-traditionalist neck beard toting mother fucker.
you're just projecting your broken views of purity on an 'girl' on the internet because you are ruled entirely by your own personal insecurities about girls being 'cum dumpsters' and you being 'preemptively cucked'
>Then why is it that most people after reaching sexual maturity don’t have sex for quite a few years after that?
>And how is it that before the sexual freedom movement in the 60’s divorce rates were much lower?
Some people don’t prioritize sex and can deal with that, although it’s usually women who are successful with that. Trust and reliability are good traits, but it dosent mix well with sexual compatibility. Biology and psychology is what it is. You can be completely fulfilled being abstinent, but it’s uncommon. People usually fill their wants with something else and cope. And people do have sex as soon as they reach sexual maturity as long as there isn’t any outside pressure, like religion or social pressure. And You would be amazed by the stories you hear all the way down to kindergarten level.
Humans are in hump mode so quickly.
And lastly, divorce rates were lower because of social pressure. Of course we know that people wasn’t happier or it stopped them from having sex outside marriage or before marriage. Pregnancies and abortions was a bloody hellish nightmare at the time because of this. The conservative nature of marriage as we know it today is a very recent thing, and haven’t proven to do well yet.
Well since you have resorted to sperging out and no longer have any more shit-tier arguments to throw my way I’ll leave you with one last (you)
Such a meme, by social pressure you mean having a strong social fabric consisting of tried and true methods for maintaining healthy relationships that people have used for generations without fail. Not having pre marital sex is one of these and I’ve already explained why it makes complete sense.
I’ve sufficiently laid out my argument.
Yup, this. I guess i could have boiled it down to this.
>tried and true methods for maintaining healthy relationships
I guess you're also in favour of men hitting their wifes as part of their daily routine, then? There were less divorces when this was common.
You’re argument is based on bias and uneducated opinions. We all want marriage to be this glorious solution to relationship that simply can’t fail. But sex and relationship is vastly more complicated than the construct of conservative marriage. And the conservative nature of marriage is fairly recent. It used to be way more flexible, but religion clamped down on it for control, so that went to shit.
incels here call women whores for sleeping with a single guy. you're good.
>neck beard toting motherfucker
This made me laugh. There is truth to this, although rude, lol.
Did he lie? Then no.
Was he honest? Then yes.
Who he was before you met has nothing to do with this. The only thing you could reasonably be upset about is if he has an STD. If he's loyal then who cares how many girls he's fucked in the past?
I’m an user not a part of this discussion - just reading because it’s interesting to me. If you don’t mind me asking, what do you mean by societal pressure? How are people pressured to divorce?
literally everything we do is a chemical reaction you fucking redditor
not him but, user, you got to the point where you're comparing having sex to domestic abuse. you don't need to admit you are wrong, just stop responding
It's the other way around.
Divorce used to be a taboo concept, barely even considered as an option. People trying to wiggle out of a marriage were considered as a failure and commonly became outcasts (this mostly only applied to women, though) with no future. Thus, divorcing was not considered as an actual option and plenty of unhealthy and unhappy marriages continued until death.
No, I'm pointing out why it doesn't make sense to say "this makes marriages last longer, ergo it's good and we should keep doing that" while ignoring how many unhappy marriages have lasted more than they should ever have.
you fucking bafoon. women were married to man for their entire life because they weren't seen as people and were probably beaten to death by the ex. now if a woman is unhappy she can just fuck off whenever she wants.
and yes, when pummling your wife was no longer popular the wives started running, but what the /fuck/ does this have to do with sex? the only fucking link here is that they both happen in marriages. did you know that getting a job makes a marriage last longer you twat
Yes yes, there are no consequences to flagrant whoredom. INFACT IT IS BETTER IF YOU ARE A WHORE.
>everything is a chemical reaction
Now this is comedy.
>what the actual fuck????
But that's exactly the point. The user I was originally talking to had one and one argument only, which was that staying virgin until marriage reduces the chances of divorce, basing this in the fact that before the sexual revolution people had less divorces. He also talked as if a lack of divorce is a sign of a healthy relationship.
All I'm saying is: no, people used to have unhealthy marriages all the time, and thus his argument (marriages that last longer = good) is invalid. All that we know is that there were less divorces, not more happily married couples.
Marrying is not the ultimate goal for a couple, being happy is.
It's hard to tell because we don't know the details. What are you reacting to exactly? Did he lie about his history? Are you nervous about the idea of him comparing you to his previous partners? Do you think he'll continue to be a whore?... We barely have the setup, let alone the problem, so all I can do is share my experience.
My bf was incredibly, almost compulsively slutty in the past. It was kind of hard to get over some insecurities at first, but it all worked out in the end. No cheating, no drama. He's actually a much better bf than my previous one who was a virgin when we met. Of course, everyone is different, I probably just lucked out.
We can literally scroll up to read the argument no point misrepresenting. Divorce rates were cited but that was hardly the crux of the argument.
So how would the increase of divorce rates (by influence of societal pressure) correlate with the guy in the thread’s claim that abstinence is the only way to a satisfied marriage?
>He also talked as if a lack of divorce is a sign of a healthy relationship.
staying in a relationship is a sign you are it's a healthy relationship
>people used to have unhealthy marriages all the time, and thus his argument (marriages that last longer = good) is invalid.
>people used to have unhealthy marriages all the time
that's the golden word.
lmao you guys took one part of my argument and ran with it so hard. I like how nobody is talking about the whole discussion prior to that post.
Feel free to point out what his other arguments were.
His claim is that there used to be more abstinence and at the same time there used to be less divorces, thus he links both things as being closely and directly related: if you stay virgin, this will increase your chances of having a longer marriage.
This ignores many other factors that directly relate to people not divorcing, for example that most couples who marry as virgins are also strongly religious and have been taught from childhood that divorce is morally wrong, thus they are much less likely to consider it a valid option even if their marriage is unhappy.
Basically, these people don't have a higher chance of having a healthy relationship, just a higher chance or never divorcing.
Sorry, first comment was for
no one cares, i'm just here to shit on people
Someone who dosent get it and argues on a level of retardation, this made me laugh.
>don’t figure out if they are sexually compatible
I don't think virgins know what sexual compatibility is, cum brain
And that’s why i get paid for sex ed and you don’t.
Says he, raging from his mother's basement, as he posts his collage of pseudoscientific "studies", outright made up meme graphs and complete fabrications riddled with errors that even a 5th grader wouldn't make.
I lost interest in a guy because he was a complete slut...he fucked one woman, then left her to fuck another the next day. As soon as I found out, I felt sick. I'm just not into guys anymore now.
and they say femcels don't exist
Promiscuous people in general are not attractive if you're looking for a serious relationship. I don't see myself with a girl who's had more than 5 sexual partners.
You are demonstrably wrong.
You can stop now. Facts have walked in the door.
Amazing how the average granny who spent their entire lives in church leaning the importance of abstaining from pre-marital sex know much more about sex education and healthy relationships than a graduated retard like you
A permabanned autistic tripfag incel you mean, not facts.
Provide data that proves him wrong and i'll trust you.
This is my first time posting on advice. I have been happily married for 11 years and have a successful career and a child on the way. I just want the truth to be out there and would encourage you to keep an open mind. It sounds like you have had some negative experiences in your life with someone who is biasing you away from reality. I am sorry if that is what happened to you and I hope you find peace some day. I just want you and others to know that peace cannot come from promiscuity.
you don't use incel terminology, post on Jow Forums, AND have multiple screenshots trying to shill an unsatisfying and hard to achieve goal then say you are happy. much less married.
>spergs out incel copypasta
>has a collection of "blackpill" incel memes
>is extremely angry and desperate
>extreme hate of sex
Sure you're successful in life and happily married.
>had way more partners than 21 +
Woe is me
>the difference between 1 partner and 21 partners is about 10%
that's almost negligible. you just proved yourself wrong