My husband has become an evil monster. However, we have two young kids together. I am financially independent...

My husband has become an evil monster. However, we have two young kids together. I am financially independent, but I fear raising two toddlers on my own will destroy my career.
What is the best solution?

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This is hard. Need more detail about your husband

like he totally asked me to do the dishes and the laundry the monster

kill the bastard

I have got a feeling that youre not OP

He is just mentally fucked. I guess he has always been a nut job but was good at covering it.

He struggles to perform well at his job, constantly talks about how much he hates women in front of me and his 2 daughters, is caught up in on and off drug usage, and is just generally unpleasant to deal with.

He literally hates doing anything other than laying in bed in a dark room and constantly ruins all weekends, holidays, major events.

He blames EVERYTHING on me. For example, I cook healthy meals at home but he often prefers to get drive thru instead. He came at me last night and told me that I force him to eat fast food and fried foods and that I need to stop ruining his body by doing that. There is not an ounce of truth in that whatsoever. I am never with him when he buys endless fast food, chips, donuts, sodas and I don’t keep it in the house.

Last night, after accusing me of all this, he creeps back into bed and holds my hand and says he loves me. I wake up this morning and he is back to yelling and telling the kids that he won’t take care of them and can’t stand being around women....

He also attacks the child that looks most like me on a consistent basis and calls her a dirty pig and says she is pure filth and he hopes she doesn’t grow up to be garbage. She is only 2.

Divorce. It sounds like he will be a negative influence on your children. Make that clear in court. Don't go for his money. Don't go for his stuff, go for your kids. Make them the primary goal and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING HE SAYS AND DOES.

>marrying and having a family with a drug addict
you have only yourself to blame

Guys like that shouldnt have an opportunity at procreating let alone raising children. Divorce the piece of shit

Sounds pretty horrible. First thing you want to do is gather some evidence. Record him yelling at you and the children. Next thing you want to do is look up child subsidy and anything else that will help a single mother. Then you are going to have to leave him.

Well I didn’t know he had a drug problem into well into the marriage. He wasn’t using drugs around me.

I have tried to record him before and he has hurt me.

Yikes, divorce asap. Youre on the way to getting serious ptsd.

As far as raising two kids theres lots of programs for single moms, but ONLY single moms to get money. I know because my cousin cant get any bennies thanks to her druggie bf making like 1500$ a month

You should contact some close family members immediately about this. Also, perhaps consider talking to members of his family?

Honestly, if family doesn’t resolve this, there’s not much point in sticking with him.

Your kids should be more important than your career

Instead of understanding what your husband is going through, and help him through his obvious depression, you should blame all of your troubles on him.

Why go through the effort of helping someone if you can make their life miserable?

Who cares about what goes on with him. You have every right to ignore all the signs of depression he has, and his plea for help when he's alone and vulnerable, and come to ask for advice for YOU instead.

Imagine, all you want is a way to be perfect without worrying about your kids.

And your selfish husband DARES speak ill of women to you - almost as if he considers you more than just a woman and able to understand his frustrations without judging him - ha! What a loser, right?

It's hard being a woman nowadays, but thank god you can just claim he raped you. That way you'll get everything and he'll be jailed. You should do that. Poor you.

this is assuming way too much unjustified good faith, based on what we know in this thread.

>I am financially independent, but I fear raising two toddlers on my own will destroy my career.
>What is the best solution?

your career? Your priorities seem mixed up.

If you're entertaining the idea of single parenthood, a career is a luxury. Most single parents have jobs, not careers. Unless you're a 5% top earner, you will likely have to make compromises if thats the route you chose.

It may be the best option given what you've said about him, but your frame of mind of even mentioning it destroying your career indicates you don't understand your own position very well.

Not OP but FUCK you.
No, it's not "trying to share deepest thoughts" when you constantly go on about women being subhuman and treating them like slaves. That is what my dad does. I begged my mom to divorce him since I was 12 or 13. That was a long time ago, but they are still together. The only thing my mom could bring do my dad's defense is "your dad wasn't like this when we married, he was really nice". Yeah, right, so you are destroying your own and your daughter's life cause a distant memory of a person is alright.

Better a single mom than constant fear at home.
I literally spent most of my time I spent home in the toilet, cause my room couldn't be locked. I was able to lock the toilet and put in earplugs, that way I managed to block some of my dad's crap out. Because my mom took his side in his presence, he rarely got physical.
I peaced out and I barely ever visit since I turned 18. They are probably fit for each other. A slave and an abuser. I didn't want to be a slave. Also at least my maternal grandparents were cool, so I could hide there for months when it was worse...

There is only a point until you can understand, when it gets serious, you run to save your life.

Fuck me?

No, fuck YOU.

We're not talking about a parent/child relationship here, but one of husband and wife.

Do you know why your mom sides with your dad? Because you were a worthless, unwanted piece of shit that shouldn't ever have been born.

You're the child. You aren't entitled to fuckshit, and if things were so bad, why the fuck didn't you bail out earlier?

You mention abuser and slave, but tell me: did you pay bills? Put food on the table? Work to support the family? No, you locked yourself in the bathroom and listened to music.

I hope you die a miserable death, and when you're alone in the gutter gasping your last breath, maybe you'll realize you shouldn't have been such an entitled fucking cunt.

>parents have to love their kids

Ha! Do you fuck the kids or the spouse? Kids are the consequence of two people. They're a distant second in priority and in YOUR case, a fucking mistake that should've been swallowed instead of pumped into a degenerate's cunt.

Kids should come first user......

be a better wife

How did you marry the fuck and have 2 kids before you realized hes a dipshit way to pick an lady

Kids come first. You have a responsibility to keep them safe and happy, and to grow them in to good future people. That means your career comes second, you gotta get away from your husband and focus on motherhood.
It concerns me that you didn’t instinctively come to the same conclusion when making the choice of having children. You should also get into therapy.

Yup wants to be one of those moms that does it all but really just half asses parenting and careering

Victim blaming, nice. Didn’t need to write that many words. Kind of waste.

>How did you marry the fuck and have 2 kids before you realized hes a dipshit way to pick an lady
Females. He was probably attractive and a bad boy when she met him. You know how they work.

she's a moron like all women that doesnt want to take responsibility for her actions. when everything was peaches she was love and equality then when it went to the shitter its all his fault. tale as old as time.


This guy would be the weak cunt who drinks the coolaid before it was even presented. Gotta love mindless husks.

Are you allowing him to say these things to your children? Reprimand him for that shit. Sounds like it's a habit and people don't normally do that over and over if they're going to get a negative reaction out of the other parent. Trust me. My ex tried calling my kids dumb shits and I made his ass cry in the bedroom for telling him how much of a shit dad he was.

As for him doing a lot of things on his own, obviously he's depressed. Depressed people can become addicts. Addicts are always the depressed type. The gene that makes you an addict is also the same gene that makes it higher for you to have depressed thoughts. I understand being done with someone like that, but have you put in any effort? Possibly if his quality of life is changed so will the way he acts around the children. However I'm not saying you should do it alone. If you stay with this man he will need to go to therapy. I would even tell him to unless you will end things (unless he really is a nut case that can kill you and the children, in that case set up an emergency safety plan and get you and the kids away from him ASAP. Don't let him know where you are. Keep things secret)

I understand if it'll be hard to be a single mom but if you have family please ask for help. Put them in daycares. If one is school age it'll be easier. Look into domestic abuse victim resources that you can use. Talk to a therapist yourself. Anything.

You need to do something and you need to do it after you read all these. Whether it be stay and grow a pair and tell him to fucking stop and put his ass in therapy while you HELP his depression problems. And HOPE it works. Or leave the situation. Don't fucking stay because it's easier on you either. And don't fucking ignore how he treats your kids. Stop that shit immediately. You are their mother.

Nah, fuck you again.
They got paid for having me, I'm from a welfare state. I started working from the DAY I could legally work, worked every school break. They actually earned more money having me than what they spent.
I know this cause they were lazy to do their own fucking taxes, too.
I know you are just trolling, but troll harder, you little piece of shit.

I saw what you wrote about his behavior and I didn't think "evil monster". I saw a someone who has suffered serious trauma and is in a lot of pain.How about getting him some help?

Wrong. Marriage should come first. In this case it seems both parents are putting themselves first, OP is putting her own career goals and not being burdened time wise with raising 2 kids alone, husband has fallen into his own self destructive behavior. This is somewhat typical.
Marriage is supposed to be your most important relationship in life. The stronger that bond the better a couple can provide and raise children in a good home. Put your spouse and marriage as the number one priority, then the children.
This is why a lot of marriages fail. People prioritize wrong, and people who say they put the kids first usually use that as a shield for neglecting their spouse and marriage.

oh he is going to kill you bitch. your daughters might recover from this if you leave asap, but seriously he will hunt you down until you die. You are his fucking toy, and he will break you. LEAVE TODAY. FUCKING TRAIN TO PROTECT YOUR DAUGTERS FROM HIS PSYCHO SHIT. GET A LAWYER, OR HE WILL TAKE YOUR KIDS. HE WILL KILL THEM TO SPITE YOU.

what kind of drugs does he use?
if hes doing drugs and being emotionally abusive you can probably get full custody and child support.
Or maybe hes not a lost case, rehab and consoling exists for a reason