NEED ADVICE FROM OTHER PARENTS

me and my wife are 31, are we too late to have children? both of us are also kinda overweight at 90 - 100kg 172cm height

we've spent the last few years really working together to lose weight and this is the lowest we've been but we're also worried if we wait any longer there will be other complications with pregnancy due to our age getting up there

any other parents on this board at all? i know this is a weird place to ask but i have nowhere else to go you guys have guided me all my life

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Bro people in there 40's have kids, what kind of bullshit are you saying?

So I'm not a parent, sorry, but the idea that you need to have a baby before you turn 40 is 100% a myth. Health issues for children born to older couples DO increase, but only very slightly (I don't remember the statistic, but it was something by like 2%). More and more people are waiting longer to have children and I think it's a good thing. Don't rush into it if you're just worried about health problems for your child.

Only reason I think could be a problem is your own health. Can't be obese and live long enough to raise her/him. But have that kid spend the next few years loosing weight.

Btw not parents

Uhmm, downs syndrome rates are 1000x higher in a women over 40 compared to a woman under 25.

*Have that kid then spend next few years loosing weight*

My mom had my youngest brother at 36. He is healthy and fine. Just do it before 39 or 40, that is when things really start going downhill.

I did a little more research on it, and the National Down Syndrome Association claims that by age 40, your risk for having a Down syndrome baby is 1%, which is still low enough, in my opinion, to warrant waiting a few years if you aren't sure if you're ready to be a parent. Also, Down syndrome can usually be detected in the womb and just aborted anyway.

The weight on her is probably the real concern as overweight women are highly likely to miscarry. The weight on you is a concern for as much as you should probably also be helping her after she would give birth.

>So I'm not a parent, sorry, but the idea that you need to have a baby before you turn 40 is 100% a myth.

especially in the first world.

and actually, the risk of development problems goes up with male age, not female. Studies are showing that the carrying process's risks are the only thing that goes up with female age.

both of us are also kinda overweight at 90 - 100kg 172cm height

drop weight before conceiving, and your child will be less likely to develop overweight in later life. There is mounting evidence that different genes will be passed on based on the physical condition of the parents.

I highly doubt that weight is genetic. You can pass down mental predispositions/neuroticism that might encourage overeating, or more likely have your child learn to overeat by living in a family that overeats, but you can't overrule the law of thermodynamics (i.e. calories in vs. calories out).

Have your wife stop taking birth control, it adds to weight gain and you just spend more time giving her the business. You'll lose weight and have a kid to force you to run around and lose more weight. Best thing you can ever do and do it now if you're in a commit and long lasting relationship.

My buddy and all his siblings are massive fat ham planets. He tried not to be, exercised everyday, ate right, joined sports...did it all...

All it did for him was make him an orbiting satellite to the ham planets.

Fatness can definitely be genetic.

>or more likely have your child learn to overeat by living in a family that overeats
It's mostly this one.

The fact of the matter is that he was eating more calories than he was burning off. It's easy to overestimate your exercise and underestimate your eating. Fat can always be overcome with the right diet and is not definitively genetic.

>I highly doubt that weight is genetic.

i didn't say that it was. but there are people who have genetic markers that make is easier or harder to gain or lose weight.

that doesn't eliminate the fact you have to operate at caloric surplus to gain weight.

but it does mean that some of us have different metabolisms which is definitely genetically related. And you overlooked the important part:

>There is mounting evidence that different genes will be passed on based on the physical condition of the parents.

im too lazy to look up the sources but youre still young. your wife, however, will be on her fertility prime till she's 35 years old so you still have time to churn out a couple of kids. complications for both mother and baby do go up after 35, but again im too lazy to look up sources so look them up yourself.

My parents were in their 30s when they had me
I'm 23 now

It's certainly not too late
but at least one of us (twins) has asperger's syndrome
Not sure if that's a potential risk

And I can't promise you a child won't ever complain about the generation they grew up in because of it

update:
I'm pretty definitely sure ASD is not a risk factor of having kids past 29. But if I'm wrong, don't blame me

That’s not that old. Doesn’t matter how fat you are